Parkeryourefired

Going to make a CD called "The Sounds of Waking Up" which will showcase the wondrous groans, creaking, and stumbling around after long nights and naps. It could also go by the other name "The Sounds of Being an Ent".

Uhg... Why am I awake?

All I've ever wanted is the power to destroy.

I'm rewriting If You're Happy and You Know It

The new version goes: If you're old and you know it, groan loudly whenever you move. (Repeat) If you're old and you know it, then your joints are frozen and creaky, and you should probably get a walker. (Repeat chorus thing) I'm not a musician, but I think it could compete with the best of them. I'm tapping into the forgotten old people demographic.

When it all fell apart, I lost everything. When I returned, I had not come back.

I have spent my whole life trying to be water. But, I will only ever be fire. Consuming, hateful, never sated until every last living thing is destroyed. I want to see it all burn.

Pizza, I really like you, but you've become a bad habit. Time to stop being lazy and get back to making the less deadly food I love. Which is kind of funny because I'm not a health nut. Though, I realized all the stuff I really like is basically a Mediterranean diet. Who knew? I noticed spaghetti isn't in those, though... -_- But, time to get these love handles to go away again. It's just too easy to get into bad eating habits. Just takes a little effort to get back into good habits, right? It's easy to notice the huge difference in energy when you start eating right. Might feel a little hungry in the beginning, but in the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar, "IT'S A TRAP!"

What Would [Insert famous person's name] Do?

This creeper at work keeps hitting on me. I suppose it was my fault he found out my phone number, but he continues to text incredibly inappropriate things. Mainly trying to get me to sleep with him or send nudes. Thing is, I'm not gay, and he knows that. Told him that over a dozen times. He's even threatened to find where I live so he can "spend time with me". I've tolerated it thus far, but it's been a little more than uncomfortable a lot of the time. Could start a sexual harassment complaint, but that's a can of worms probably not worth opening. Fucked up how that works, isn't it? Can't even do that without getting a ridiculous amount of backlash and probably killing my career. Could just block his number, but I try not to be too much a jerk. Eh. It's all bullshit. I've nothing against homosexuals, homosexuality, or any level of LGBT. Love is love, sexuality is sexuality, and happiness with yourself is what begins becoming more for others. It's just incredibly disturbing when what amounts to sexual harassment occurs. Can't imagine what it's like to be most females on social media these days. My outside perspective thinks it's really shitty most of the time. I try not to be a jerk, and I even apologize for writing or saying something clearly a joke. But, for people to be serious when they say the stupid shit they do makes me exceedingly angry. Red-out angry. I can't even call a girl names during sex (when I know she likes that kind of thing) or be super dominant in a relationship. I'm not the submissive type, either. Balance is my preferred state. A girl I can have pillow fights, Nerf battles, or spar with. Competitive, direct, and open. That's my taste, though. I know there are a lot of guys who want their girls to be second banana, and there are girls who like that (a very good friend of mine is that way); however, being fuckbucket misogynists and having heads so far up their own asses they amount to human Möbius strips doesn't give them any right to talk to anyone how they do. Think it earns them the right of letting a woman much stronger than them (Rhonda Rousey, perhaps) ensure they never regain full functionality of their bodies. The internet seems like a shitty place to be female. I'm sorry if I've ever been one of those guys. Something needs to change. It has to happen, doesn't it? Hard to believe it still hasn't happened, and the little progress made is very quietly pushed to the back burner. The stupidity of the human race can be so appalling.