You Guys Made Luigi Mangione Trend For Days And I Need To See The Same Energy For Brianna Boston. She

Help Ikhlas and her young daughter Eileen overcome their hardships

My name is Ikhlas Mahmoud Samara, I am 29 years old, and my 3-year-old daughter, Eileen, is my world. We were living a simple yet hopeful life until the devastating war on Gaza turned everything upside down. I lost my beloved husband, Abdullah Al-Boubou, who was just 31 years old, when he was martyred during the heavy bombing. He was our sole provider and source of strength.

We were forced to flee from northern Gaza to the Mawasi Khan Younis area in the south under relentless bombing. Now, we are living in a tent that offers no protection from the scorching heat of summer or the freezing cold of winter. Later, I learned that our home in northern Gaza was completely destroyed, leaving us homeless and struggling to survive.

Since losing my husband, we’ve been facing severe financial difficulties. I am doing my best to stay strong for Eileen, but we desperately need help.

I am launching this campaign to secure our basic needs and provide a dignified life for me and my daughter. Your support, no matter how small, can make a tremendous difference in our lives.

Please donate and share our story with others. Together, we can give Eileen a better future.

Sex, Drugs, Etc.

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. SH. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2022

I got a lot of inspiration and motivation from @whoopsyeahokay series called October Sun if you haven't read it yet I recommend you do its amazing, you can find it on tumblr and Ao3. October Sun

(This is very self indulgent and based on things ive been through and how I could have very easily ended up as a ghost. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness. This is a judgment free zone so I want no bullying or hate on anyone. I'm not the best writer so be nice)

1.9k Words

Enjoy :)

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Two days, two fucking days you’ve been rotting and no ones come to find you. Well no one alive at least. 

It started off normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Just another boring school day with the same washed out boring people. Tired eyes and even more tired souls. So what changed? A little slip up on the same thing that had almost claimed your life many times over the years except this time no one was there to save you. 

You were 14 when you first learned the only way for your brain to stop spinning, trying to find a new way to obtain peace was with a very simple little thing. Weed, this wasn't what was deadly, no it was what started the cycle. First it was weed, then it was alcohol, then it was late night parties, until one day it fell into the palm of your hand. A simple little pill, how could it cause so much damage? Things were fine until one pill turned into two then two turned into three and then you ended up on the patio of a stranger's porch foaming out the mouth. 4 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab was enough to scare you for a while, but not enough to make you forget about the relief that came with it. 

That's how you ended up here, sitting in a circle sharing stories about life and death, a group of highschool boys who had no idea you were even there, playing basketball behind you. Should have just gone to group like you were told to, at least then you would have been with people who understood addiction. Now judgmental eyes fall upon you because you caused your own death. As much as you wanted to find someone, something to blame you knew you couldn't, this was your fault. The spinning hasn't stopped. At least ghosts couldn't go through withdrawal, doesn’t change the fact that the empty feeling you tried so desperately to fill is more presint than ever.  

The sweet voice of Mr.Martin fills the room. Like white nose until you heard him call your name. Head shooting up to look up at him. “Have you started working on your obituary?” Ah yes, ghost homework. you would have never thought that you would have been asked to write your own obituary yet here we are. Not as easy as it sounds.

“I’ve got some ideas” Like when you got so drunk you threw up on your friends cat, or when you were so high that your brother convinced you the plane flying over your house was a UFO, fun memories. Apparently you were supposed to write about the good parts of your life but that's kinda hard when the only good memories you had were caused by what put you in this situation to begin with. 

“Take your time, if you need to im sure some of the others wouldn't mind telling you about what they wrote, for motivation.” You give a simple nod, wanting all the prying eyes around you to look away. And they do, except a certain pair that had been watching you since you got here. 

Wally Clark, a sweet boy, bright future, died to soon like everyone else in this fucked up version of your own personal hell. He asked too many questions, it wasn't a secret how you died, just something you didn't want to talk about.  He respected that, like most of the others, most. Doesn't stop him from prying, staring with curious eyes. 

“I think that's all for today,  don't forget tomorrow's movie night as always our newest member will be picking the movie.” You give an awkward smile before standing up and turning to leave along with the rest of the group. Heavy footsteps creeping up behind you and the sound of your name being called stops you as the tall boy catches up.

“So um do you need help with your obituary? not to brag but I think I did a pretty good job on mine.” Wally was quite attractive, tall, with big brown eyes, and slick back brown fluffy hair. No doubt having made girls fawn over him during his lifetime. You and him weren't exactly friends but the idea of having a little help writing… well, a self obituary wasn't bad. 

“Sure, we could go to the library.” An excited grin grew on Wallys face, not expecting you to say yes. 

“Yeah, yeah the library sounds great” It was kinda cute how he acted sometimes. Not like a typical jock, a pure golden retriever. 

“Cool” You stand there kinda awkwardly, hands in the pockets of your red zip up hoodie as you gave him an expecting look. 

“Oh like now?” He was somehow the most confident yet most awkward person in the world. “Um okay yeah that works” 

You tilt your head sideways towards the door leading out the gym, indicating for him to follow you out. Taking the lead and making your way out, opening the door for him. “Ladies first” He let out a small chuckle at your attempt at a joke, considering it was the first time you really talked to anyone since everything happened. It wasn't that you didn't like people, you just didn’t understand the point of friends. It might sound depressing but having a small group of people that you know will stick around is better than hanging around people that barely know you. Yet here you are, stuck with strangers for eternity or until you finally move on, however long that’ll take. 

The hallway was filled with loud teens, some rushing to their next class others going out the back door, more than likely skipping. “So how does this work?” You look over at him.

“What? The afterlife?” He looks at you, a little nervous. “I don’t think im the best person to explain it to you, that's more of Charley's thing.” Charley was sweet, the first person you met when you woke up. Some sort of after life guide. 

“No, a self obituary.” The words felt weird coming out your mouth. “I know I'm supposed to write about all the great things in life but I don't think huffing nitrous in my uncles bathroom on thanksgiving really counts as a good memory.” 

“Nitrous? like the shit in whipped cream?” He gave you a sideways look, a concerned but humored smile on his face. 

“Yes, the shit in whipped cream, I don't recommend. I passed out and almost had a seizure.” As we reach the library he opens the door, allowing you to go in first. 

“Okay, maybe don’t include that in your obituary, how about” He thought for a second. “Write about your friends and family, I'm sure you have some good memories with them.” 

You let out a frustrated sigh as you sat down at a table, Wally sitting down across from you as you take off your backpack, pulling a pencil and the folder Mr.Martin had given you. “That's too much work, do you think Mr.Martin would notice if I just copied yours?” Wally laughs a little, his straight white teeth showing.

“No, he’ll totally believe that you played football and lost your virginity in your moms car.” Now you’re the one laughing, his sentence coming out way too casually. 

“You lost your virginity in your moms car?” You take a few seconds to process before you look at him judgmentally. “You included how you lost your virginity?” Though the smiles’ still apparent on your face. 

“Happy memories, remember?” And there's the jock attitude you were waiting for, somehow a bit surprising but not unexpected. “You could just write your feelings.” You have a whole journal for that from when you got sober… soberish. 

“This may come as a shock to you but I'm not exactly a feelings person.” Not totally true, it was just easier to not feel anything at all, especially with the situation you're in right now. 

“Really? I couldn't tell” The sarcastic tone in his voice very apparent. “Alright fine, if you were happiest when you were high then it's worth writing.” 

“Great, so high stories, got it” Though it wasn't the best idea, you had to write something so Mr.Martin would get off your ass about it. Reminiscing was a slippery slope, you were holding up decently so far but contrary to what all the others think it hurt deep down. “How about the first time I tried molly?” Probably one of the best ‘happy pills’ you tried in your lifetime. 

“What was it like?” He clearly had no intentions of finding out first hand, just curious of the experience. 

“It made me really aware but like in a good way.” There was no real way to describe it without going into depth. “And kinda trippy I guess, does that make sense?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” He knew he could never truly understand, no one could unless they experienced it themselves. As you begin to jot down the memory Wally peaks over, looking at the page though it's not very useful due to the fact that he doesn't possess the skill to read upside down. 

“Nosey” You laugh a little at his attempt to get to know you better. “You know if you want to get to know me, maybe there are better ways to do it then helping me write my own obituary” Yep, still didn't sound right.  

“Oh um yeah, this is probably a really weird first hang out.” He laughs awkwardly at the realization that this is still new to you. It wasn't like he had never been around a new ghost before, he knew he was supposed to be slow, supportive, ease them into it but with the way you acted sometimes made him think you were more used to this than he was. In a way you were, death was something that you had imagined so many times so when it actually came the idea of being trapped wasn't one you hadn't thought of before. “How about after we're done with this I could take you down to the pool?” 

You smile, the sentiment was sweet. “Thanks, but I don't know how to swim.” You were never taught and it didn't seem important in life so you just never learned. The surprised look on Wallys face was priceless.

“How the hell are you 18 and don’t know how to swim?” It wasn't judgmental, just a little surprised, but the grin on his face indicated that he had an idea. 

“Oh god, what are you thinking about?” You knew what was coming, he wouldn't be him if he didn’t jump at the opportunity to help a new friend. Wally was very readable and you didn’t know if that was a good thing yet. 

“I could teach you.” And there it was, of course he wanted to teach you. “It could be fun, plus you don't have much else to do.” 

“You know what fuck it, you’re right there isnt shit else to do.” Especially with your body still laying cold in the old abandoned locker rooms aka ‘the brain cave’. 

“Great, you should keep writing, the faster you get it over with the less weird it feels.” And that's how it started, you were never the friend type but as much as you hated to say it you needed someone. Sure that someone is very attractive and the idea of seeing him in nothing but swim trunks was a nice image but who could blame you? The afterlife is lonely.

Pt.2

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

October Sun

summary: you'd never told Xavier. not because he hadn't been a good friend, but because you'd kept a secret no one but you had known. only then, in the eye of the storm, you'd been forced to tell him: i can't remember.

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

sorry for the delay, loves, work was overwhelming (it's busy season) and i'm sick and it was a lot 😩⚰️ ilyg 🫶

bon reading, frens

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.25

In 1987, during the period Wally had still been reluctant to join the Afterlife Support Group, Mr. Martin had asked Bernie to ask Wally to help Mina Volkov transition from life to death. You're from the same decade—Mr. Martin's words from Bernie's mouth—she probably remembers you. Although, looking back, Wally wondered if it hadn't been a strategic play to get Wally to see the benefits of togetherness.

For the first time since his death, Wally had felt useful, but it'd backfired almost immediately and had sent him into a tailspin of doubt and frustration that'd lasted another five or so years. Mina had simply yelled at Wally about a safety course and how she hadn't been responsible for who got what part, barking at Wally until he'd descended from the rafters with his tail between his legs. He'd tried a few more times after their first encounter to cajole Mina out of her roost, and he'd been chased away every time.

So, color him surprised when Mina quietly accepted the bouquet Maddie handed her, tempered, receptive, and willing to offer what she knew by lifting and dropping the stage's trapdoor.

"How did she do that?" Wally asked of Maddie, who'd done in a minute what he'd tried to do over the span of years.

"Maybe it has something to do with what your girlfriend mentioned," Rhonda said in long, bored strokes, "Maddie might have ghost powers that she can use to tame even the most stubborn dead stagehands."

Wally warmed at Rhonda's use of the word 'girlfriend', cheeks flushing and heart picking up speed. He hadn't given much thought to titles, but something inside him did somersaults at the idea that you and he were that kind of official.

"Stop that." Rhonda smacked him lightly in the chest with the back of her hand.

Wide-eyed and totally confused, "Stop what?"

"Your face," Charley explained, "It's gone all soft and pining." Then, to himself, "It's actually adorable."

Wally rearranged his expression into something less smitten as he, Rhonda, and Charley stood and followed Maddie through the trapdoor and down into the cellarage.

‗‗‗‗•‗‗‗‗

Time stammered to a stop, the walls closed in; lights dimmed, noise ceased, and all you could see was Xavier. His ice-wild eyes filled with fear and confusion, already positioned on the defensive, more disturbed than you'd ever seen him before.

"Zav?" You croaked as your heart thundered in your chest. "Are you—?"

"No." Xavier snapped, pacing a few steps forward and then back, "Don't. Just. Stop..." He deflated instantly, rubbed his eyes, and raked his fingers through his hair, and then he demanded, "Who was that guy?"

You couldn't deflect; couldn't say no idea what you're talking about, couldn't fake it 'til you made it or wait for him to think up some plausible excuse on his own that you'd glom on to and ride into the sunset. It was Xavier and you'd promised yourself years ago that he'd be the one person in the world you'd never, ever lie to. Dance around the truth for self-preservation? Sure. But outright lie to him? Your instincts screeched and cried against it, fight-flight-frozen in place as you watched his eyes dart around, the flurry of his thoughts practically spilling out of him for you to hear.

The years you'd spent curating an occult personality, touched by the same incandescent, bewitched spirit as every other boho-goth girly with a penchant for Halloween and horror films; the admissions you'd made of having a crush on a ghost at the school; the easy way you talked about what lay beyond the spiritual veil. The many breadcrumbs you'd dropped in the form of red herrings rose like a bloated corpse from the depths of a lake as he viscerally pieced together the truth.

"I know what I saw." He grunted, falling back against the wall and sliding to the floor, head in his hands, wide eyes staring at his feet. "You were making out with some rando and then he just...vanished into thin air." Xavier made a poof-gone burst with his hands, head panning in a crescent to scan the hall for signs of what he'd witnessed.

"Xavier, I..." Didn't know what to say and your inability to explain everything away seemed to strengthen Xavier's resolve.

He sniffed, dropping his arms to hang on his knees, face creased in a pain you didn't know the source of. "I know I can be a shit friend," He began, tone thin as wet paper, but before you could voice a denial, he continued, "I know that everything with Maddie has...has been hard and it's obviously triggered something for you, but..." And his voice scratched, "I thought I was your best friend."

"You are," You insisted, trying so hard to convey how true the sentiment was.

"Yeah? Then why don't you ever talk to me about Aidan?" A blade to the heart. "Why won't you tell me what the fuck actually happened to him? I loved him, too." The blade twisted, sinking deeper. "I know it wasn't an accident, May; I know you saw something; I know you were there." The nickname hurt for more reasons than one, and it took everything in you not to call Xavier out. "Why don't you ever share anything with me? And now you're buddy-buddy with Simon and handsy with a guy you can't. tell. me. wasn't Walker Clark—fucking Number 57 right on his jacket, DEAD high school legend." Xavier paused his tirade to note, "Jesus Christ, I sound fucking crazy," knocking his head against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut.

Your surprise bubbled out of you before you could reel it back in, "How do you even know any of that?"

Xavier slumped in defeat, shook his head, and confessed, "You always talked about him. How your mom fangirled after him worse than a K-pop stan." He snorted, "In sophomore year, when Eli asked you out? You wouldn't stop joking about how you thought a stupid ghost was more your type." He looked up at you then, gaze misty, brows pinched in anguish. "I wanted to see what the hype was about...so I checked out the '84 yearbook in the library. There's a whole spread dedicated to his memory, did you know that?"

You did. You'd been shown a printout of it along with the rest of Wally's dossier. "Yeah."

"I mean, I thought you'd just looked it up, too." Xavier laughed without humor, "Thought you were just bullshitting for the sake of some manic pixie dream girl vibe you wanted to try out because being a teenager's fucking stupid like that, but..." Again, his gaze met yours, held it briefly as he stared into your soul, and then skirted away, up and down the hallway before returning to fixate on the theater door. "Where'd he go, May?"

"Please stop calling me that." You said, hoarse, strangled, breath shortening as your lungs struggled to expand.

Xavier stood and strode forward until you and he were nose to nose, "Who was that?" He pressed, "Who just had their hands all over you and then disappeared just like that." The last word emphasized with a loud snap of his fingers.

"Zav, please, just hold on—"

He abruptly whirled around, stormed toward the theater door, and violently threw it open. You scurried after him, pleading with him to listen as he charged down the center aisle toward the stage, calling out for whoever you were to show himself as if to prove Xavier wasn't losing his mind. And he wasn't, you knew that, but how were you supposed to tell him without doing more damage than had already been done when you'd revealed yourself to Rhonda and Charley?

"Xavier, wait!" You yelled, panicked, divulging the only thing you thought might redirect his manic assault around the theater. "I didn't tell you about Aiden because I can't remember!"

Xavier stopped his search, still as an eerie pond in winter, and slowly turned to face you. "What?"

"I can't..." Fuck. You scraped your fingers over your scalp then shot your arms wide, "I can't remember." You revealed, voice cracking, "It comes back in bits and pieces that don't make...they don't make sense without the context and you're right, okay? I was there, but I can't remember. Not everything." The door, the farmhouse, blood, blood everywhere, a crowbar, and Aiden screaming for you, his Sissy May because your mother always called you her May child—her little baby girl a symbol of new hope and abundance that had nothing to do with Beltane or spring blessings or the month of May itself.

"What do you mean you 'can't remember'?" Xavier questioned, face scrunched up as if that was somehow crazier than the fact that he'd seen you and a literal ghost make out.

Tears streamed down your face, vision blurry, voice pitched and broken as the last thread of control you had on the situation split. "I don't know." Xavier shook his head in disbelief, compelling you to blurt out whatever you could to keep him calm, "I really don't know. Ms. Chung kept saying my brain was 'repressing the trauma' but I wanted to remember. We tried everything: Art therapy, guided imagery, fucking hypnosis, Xavier, and nothing worked. I can't...I can't remember anything after I picked Aiden up from school."

Panels of that drizzly afternoon read like a heavily redacted picture document. The short walk in the rain from the elementary schoolyard to the end of the block. The friendly smile on a face you knew you'd recognized but that now had a thick, black bar over the nose and eyes. The apple juice. The farmhouse cellar. The crowbar. The door. And then everything sped up from images to a movie reel when then-Deputy-Baxter had to wrestle you to the ground at the side of the dirt road while EMTs tried to resuscitate Aiden.

"I didn't tell you because there wasn't anything in here," You aggressively jammed your fingers into the side of your head as if attempting to unblock the memories, "to tell you. And it's fucked up and I'm sorry I didn't let you in, but I didn't know how. Half the time I didn't believe anything even happened because my fucking brain kept skipping over it."

Except you could remember one crucial detail: "Trust me, it takes four minutes before a person goes from attached to their earthen vessel to haunting the science lab." However, despite the awareness you possessed of having witnessed Aiden's death, your brain refused to evoke the visual memory.

You trembled, tortured by the fact that you hadn't been able to save your little brother, and you had no idea if you'd even tried. Ajay appeared at your side, his hand on your shoulder while his narrowed eyes were pinned on Xavier. As he prepared to say something, the trapdoor at the middle of the stage banged open and Wally climbed out, looking furious and ready for war.

💀___________________________

PART TWENTY-FOUR

note: Waiting for Godot is so stripped down that I disliked it immensely. also, please remember that time moves differently between the worlds of the living and the dead. so the 2 seconds it takes Xavier to lose his shit is, like, enough minutes in the metaphysical world for our ghost friends to find the forged receipt. like Narnia...it's been a thousand years O.o (iykyk)

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ABOUT THE TAGLIST: i'm afraid i am no longer updating or using the taglist. moving forward, if you'd like to keep up to date, please FOLLOW ME and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS. that thing took me to Hell and back, and we're no longer on speaking terms...😒

Period Comfort Headcanons

Alive!Wally Clark x Alive!Reader (Modern AU)

Warings: Not much just basic period stuff and a lot of fluff.

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This sweet sweet boy would probably be confused on what to do. He's not completely lost, he knows the basics like pads, tampons, mood swings, cramps, and cravings but that's where his knowledge ends. 

I feel like he's the type to freak out. Like genuine visible terrier when you tell him. Would cry if you told him how a period actually works. “Your fucking uterine lining sheds?!” Said as tears build in his eyes. 

For the love of everything do NOT send this man to the store to get you menstrual products. He will call you 50 million times to make sure he gets the right thing and will still come home with the complete opposite of what you asked for. It’s not his fault he's not used to this stuff. 

He’d also call his mom for help. She’d be the one to tell him about pain killers and heating pads. She’d make you boiling hot soup or hot cocoa to help with the pain. 

Snack galore. Will 100% go out at 3 in the morning to buy you a McFlurry. He hates seeing you in pain so if he can do anything to help he will and if that means sacrificing his sleep he doesn't care. 

Cuddles cuddles CUDDLES. This man is a living (just pretend) breathing furnace. Forget a heating pad, just have him lay on top of you. He’d keep his hand on your abdomen at all times.

He’d make you a little basket filled with snacks and products. (Once he finally learns what you use) He’d even write you a little card that says ‘I’m sorry your body’s torturing you.’ 

Would wear matching pjs and do skin care with you while you two watch a movie. He’d do this regardless of if you're on your period or not but especially when you're on your period. 

I know for a fact this man doesn't know how to cook but he’d try for you. When he inevitably burns the food he just buys take out. It’s the thought that counts. 

All in all he's trying and once he figures it out he's amazing. Just be patient with him because he’d feel so bad for you. 

(Okay thats all, sorry if it's shit. I was gonna do valentine day headcanons but according to my app i start my period tomorrow and need to cope 🥲)

Sex, Drugs, Ect.

pt.5

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2022. Hearing Voices. Talk of a Dead Body. Self Deprecation. Angst. Arguing.

2k words

pt.4

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The sight of the tall jock made guilt creep up on you. Asshole, you’d baled on him yesterday with no explanation. He hates you, he was the first person here to actually try and make you feel comfortable and you tossed him to the side, for what? A fucking book. 

“Hey” You were sapped out of your thoughts by the boy, he was walking over to you and… Smiling. Why was he smiling? He didn't owe you a smile, hell if anything you owed him an apology. “What's wrong?” Oh god he wasn't making this any better, he looks worried. You’re making him worry because you’ve decided to randomly wear your heart on your sleeve, fucking selfish. 

“Nothing, um-” Might as well tell him what happened, he’s gonna find out eventually, everyone is. “Some girls found my body.” 

“Oh shit” It was clear he didn’t know what to say to that. It was easier to comfort someone when you’d actually been given the chance to know even a little bit about them other than their obsessive drug use. 

“Yeah” You didn’t really know what to say either, leaving an awkward silence. “So um basketball?” Really, basketball. That's the best save you could come up with? Small talk definitely wasn't your specialty. 

“Uh yeah.” He let out a small chuckle. “I practice every Monday through Thursday morning. Even though I don’t change, it still helps to pretend to stay in shape. Makes things feel more normal.” Was he trying to offer you advice? 

“Cool” You gave him a tight lipped smile. Nothing felt normal, waking up, going to bed, hell even the halls felt weird. Haunted, not just by you but by all the other students that had lost their lives here. How the hell was this school still open? You didn’t know the statistics for school deaths but you’re pretty sure this isn't normal. 

“You wanna give it a go?” He gestures back to the gym or as he would probably call it ‘the court’.

“Basketball?” There was clearly a bit of a shocked look on your face. “Oh no i don't play.” Sweaty bodies bumping into each other while passing around a ball sounds like literal hell. Still not as bad as being stuck in high school forever but definitely not a pastime activity. 

“Oh come on. It’ll be fun, I swear.” Why's he being so nice? He doesn't even know you. What the fuck does he want? 

“I don't know if it's really a good idea.” You gave him a tight lipped smile. “I'm not exactly what you would call coordinated.” 

“You don't have to be coordinated, just throw the ball around.” You couldn’t tell if he was trying to get you to loosen up or if he was just lonely, needing someone other than Charley to practice with. 

“I’m not the greatest with balls.” You cracked a fake smile. If he wanted you to act like everything was normal what better way to do it than with dirty humor. Now that was a specialty. The slightly stunned look on his face almost made you genuinely laugh. It was only there for a split second before he let out an awkward laugh. You couldn’t tell if you were making this better or worse, either way you were already here, talking to a dead guy. One of the most normal things that's happened in the last few days. 

“A smile looks good on you.” The past few days have been filled with nothing but self  loath and deflection. Not allowing your brain to process your situation. You know you’re dead, you know how but not why. That's the clarity you've been running on. But hey, at least he couldn’t see through the plastered on smile you’d spent years perfecting, right? 

“She only comes around every once in a while when I'm in a good mood.” Again with the lies. Tell him it's fake, tell him it's all a performance for everyone's entertainment. 

“Maybe I should try to put you in a good mood more often.” Before you could reply he threw the ball towards you, out of instinct you caught it with two hands, an unimpressed look on your face as his smile grew. “See? You’re a natural.” 

You forced out a small laugh. “A natural or traumatized?” 

“Bad dodgeball experiences?” 

“Older brother.” He let out a hum of recognition. You threw the ball back to him and watched him catch it with precision. “You haven’t lived until you've had a box of cereal fly past your head. Had to learn how to catch.” He gave you a bit of a side eye. “Sorry, was ‘lived’ a bad choice of words?” 

“Nah, but why a cereal box?” The smile on his face was real. It made you feel guilty for having to fake yours. You’d been needing so desperately to just be around someone and now you are but you still feel empty. Why isn't it enough? Fucking greedy.

“I don't know, guessing it was the first thing he saw.” The memory was oddly comforting. You still remember the confusion you felt when a box of cereal just barely missed you before smacking against the wall of your kitchen. It broke out into a shadow boxing match. 

“I never got that experience, only child.” There was a mixed look on his face. Almost sad but the smile was still there. 

“Consider yourself lucky. Me and him would beat the shit out of each other, steal each other's snacks, and I would steal all his hoodies.”

He laughs. “Sounds about rights.” Your conversation was interrupted by the sound of sirens  approaching. Both your heads turn to wear there coming from, though it was useless, you were both staring at a wall. 

“Fuck.” This is it, everyone’s gonna know. Nothings ever going to be the same. You’re officially dead. 

“You probably shouldn't go out there.” You didn’t look at him but in your peripheral you saw him turn back to you, concern and sympathy written all over his face. It doesn't make sense, he has no reason to feel bad for you. So why does he?

“I wasn't planning on it.” It’s your fault, you’re the reason you’re here and now you’re making some poor sweet boy feel bad for you. You don’t deserve his empathy. Even in death you’re fucking selfish, just get over yourself and suck it up. “Shut up.” 

“Excuse me?” It took you a second to process what just happened. You finally look back at him but he’s not mad, he’s smiling and a little confused. You know there's sheer terror all over your face. You can’t remember the last time you’d accidentally talked to them out loud in front of someone. This really isn't helping the asshole allegations. 

“Nothing.” The fake smile on your face is completely gone. How do you explain that without looking like an asshole or a lunatic? Fucking stupid. 

“It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it.” He's laughing, whys he laughing? Is your insanity funny to him? You’re suffering and he's laughing. Who cares? He’s not offended so just take it as a win. At least you didn’t slip up in front of some one like Rhonda, she would have chewed your head off. 

“Uh-” Change the subject. Something, anything. Fuck just pull together something. The familiar tightening began to form in your chest. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Without a word you ran to the door, pushing it open full with all the strength you could muster. What the fuck was that? He probably thinks you’re crazy. You just had to go and ruin a moment of peace by opening your big fucking mouth. You could hear the sound of his hurried footsteps following you into the almost empty halls. 

“Hey, wait up.” He was approaching fast and you couldn’t bring yourself to run away from him. Your legs felt numb, you didn’t understand why. What the fucks happening? It’s not the first time you’d slipped up in front of someone but this felt different. This is a stranger you’re being forced to spend the rest of your existence with. There's no escape, no wear to run. That little group is all you have now and you already fucked up. 

You felt his hand touch your solder but didn’t stop speed walking. He kept up a steady pace as he began to walk beside you. “What happened?” You stayed silent, knowing if you spoke it would come out wrong. “Come on, it's okay.” Okay? Nothing about anything is okay. It’s all fucked, your entire existence is fucked. “It’s not a big deal.” Your movements came to a halt. “It is a big deal Wally!” It came out angry, not angry at him but at yourself. When the hell did you get so soft? You let it slip out so easily without a second thought. Such an amateur move. 

He looked taken aback by your tone. “Okay, I don’t know why you’re mad but I'm sorry.” He thinks he did something wrong because of you, because you couldn't control your anger. You could feel the guilt grow on your face, features distorting with your fucked up emotions. 

“No, no, don't apologize. You did nothing wrong.” Stupid, so fucking stupid. You just couldn't stop yourself, could you? It’s not that hard to keep your mouth shut and be normal. 

“I don’t know exactly what's going on in that head of yours but you can talk to me. You can talk to any of us, we’ve all been there.” He tried to give you a comforting smile but it just made you want to break down in tears. What did you do to deserve this kindness? 

“That's really sweet Wally, but I have to go.” You pointed behind you down the hall. Truth be told all you want to do is curl into a ball and forget the world around you. There's probably a gurney dragging your dead body out of the locker rooms right now. Soon you will just be a memory to those you care about. An example for your future nieces and nephews about the dangers of drugs. A whisper in the halls. A ghost. 

“Okay, but um, movie night?” He had a hopeful look on his face. You didn’t understand why everyone was so adamant about you being involved in group activities. 

“Yeah, I'll be there. You can pick out the movie, I know I'm supposed to but I'd prefer if you just did it.” Great, now you have to drag yourself to group later too. 

“Perfect, see you later I guess.” He clearly wanted to say something. 

“Yeah.” You gave him an awkward tight lipped smile. As you turn to walk away you can still feel his eyes burning into the back of your head until you hit the corner, finally away from his watchful eyes. 

There’s a bathroom on this hall that you run to, needing somewhere to be alone with your thoughts. It’s funny, you were praying to be around someone earlier so you wouldn’t be able to think so much yet here you are. Hiding away, alone again. 

You paced around, still trying to wrap your head around everything. Your brain never even gave you a chance to process. You’re dead, what the fuck does that even mean? You were basically a zombie before that fateful day in the locker room, so why does it matter? Invisible or not you still have no purpose. Nothings changed, you’re still you. Still you, those words would normally comfort someone in your position but they made you want to vomit, to scream, cry, break everything in sight. Being you isn't a good thing. You’re broken, a mess, lost…. So what the fuck does being dead even mean? 

You let out a frustrated cry as you tuned, delivering an angry punch to the wall beside you. For a split second you couldn’t move your fingers, presumably breaking them before they reset. It didn't even hurt, you were shaking with anger and fear, to the point where you couldn’t feel anything else. 

Nothing made sense, it was all just distorted in your mind as you let your back hit the wall, sliding down on it so you could sit on the floor. Two broken fingers got you into this mess in the first place. Funny how history repeats itself.

Pt.6

Mr.Martin: let’s talk about your emotions

Rhonda: stabby

Mr.Martin: that’s not an emotion, an emotion is more of a feeling.

Rhonda: well, maybe, i’m feeling stabby.

I know no one asked but I'm writing Pt.4 of Sex, Drugs, Etc. and I'm on a 1.5k word flashback that I'm actually really proud of cant wait to post it :)

✨ GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS ✨

tagged by the greatest writer I know @whoopsyeahokay

What's the origin of your blog title?

I technically don't have a blog title. It's just Patrick which isn't my real name I just really love spongebob and think Patrick is the realest character out there.

My user name patrickispinky is also because of spongebob. I was originally gonna go with patrickstar but it was already taken and so was patrickispink so I just added a y at the end.

OTP(s) + shipname:

okay I'm ngl I had no clue what opt meant so I had to look it up and Google said it means 'one true paring' Honesty I'm not too big on ships but if I had to pick one I would go with Nick and Charlie from heartstopper. Idk there ship name so like niclie or charlick.

Favorite color:

Right now my favorite color is lilac but I also really love earthy greens.

Song stuck in your head:

A pearl - mitski

Weirdest habit/trait:

Okay this is gonna sound really weird but I have a jar full of sequins that I pulled off of different things. I had a pillow covered in them that I just ripped them off of and put in a jar, same with this stuffed animal I had. I can't explain why I just had the urge one day and did it. Now anytime I have anything with sequins on it I just rip them off.

Hobbies:

Reading, writing, crying for no reason, listening to true crime podcasts, and arts and crafts.

If you work, what's your profession?

Right now I work part time at a local coffee shop but I'm in college studying in the medical field to hopefully one day be a nurse.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

If you asked me I would just say a nurse but on a deeper level I'd say an actress and a poet. I love the idea of just being able to play out a character with passion and I've always written poetry to help me in dark times.

Something you're good at:

I thought about this question for longer than i'd like to admit and the only answer I can come up with is working. I'm a hard worker and when I don't have school work or work work I don't feel right.

Something you collect:

Jewelry, books, candles, and sequins apparently.

Something you forget:

I have to have alarms on my phone to remind me to drink water or I'd just live off of coffee and red bull.

What's your love language:

Gift giving and physical affection but only physical affection from certain people. Sometimes when the wrong person touches me it makes my skin crawl for no reason I can't explain it.

Favorite movie/show:

Right now it's School spirits 100% but my comfort shows/movies are criminal minds, the umbrella academy, spongebob, heartstopper, and family guy.

Favorite food:

Boiling hot potato soup and buttery bread.

Favorite animal:

capybaras, they are adorable.

What were you like as a child:

I think I was pretty quiet and shy but when it came to the right people I was fucking weird as shit.

Favorite subject at school:

English literature and art.

Least favorite subject:

Anything math related.

What's your best character trait?

I think I'm pretty fast thinking.

What's your worst character trait?

I don't exactly like people which sounds odd because I'm literally studying to be someone who helps people but sometimes they repulse me.

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

I'd choose to live somewhere with free healthcare. Them bitches cut me off 🥲

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

Jeffrey Dahmer, before you say anything I'm just curious. I'd want to have a one on one conversation about why. I've always wondered what could go through a person's head to make them think they can just eat people.

no pressure tag: @gabbyygoo (Honestly that's it I don't have any more mutuals other than whoopsy who's already tagged at the top)

PLEASE! I literally don’t care that it’s short, it didn’t take to long. THANK YOU! I love my Wally smut😭 it’s literally perfect. MWAH💋

Im glad you liked it. I know I got so excited when I saw your request and I was hyped to write it but when the time came it was like my brain malfunctioned and I forgot how to turn thoughts into words. I do plan on doing a proper one-shot following the same plot sometime in the future. Don't know when but imma try.

Thanks for the love babes 💞 *Digital kisses*