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I did some extra hcs so just gonna reblog with the link!
"The Son of Graces"
~ Dari
The Loving Hands of God
Creator AU - Where the reader is treated like a diety by the characters of Genshin Impact
Pairing(s): None || PLATONIC: Son! Wanderer & Parental! Gender Neutral! Creator! Reader Summary: He is reminded everyday that you chose him. But some days are harder than others; and he's grateful to have you sweep the cloudy skies away.
A/N: I don't really play Genshin but here we are, I'm just getting out my ideas - don't mind me.
This Wanderer is named "Kaito(神愛)", with the characters written for "god" and "love". I thought it could be cute to kind of give a call back to his origin but something also to remind him of how far he's come. He also calls the reader "Oya", which is the best thing I could get to a gender neutral Japanese term for mother or father.
I won't be taking requests! This is most definitely a one time thing. This is also inspired by "this lovely piece" by @dropletpetals
(Extra Miscellaneous HCs: "The Son of Graces")
Warning(s): Wanderer backstory spoilers! Some revenge. This was written on my phone so forgive any errors.
Over grassy, rolling knolls - filled to the brim with blooming flowers in his favorite colors and breeds. Even under the loving warmth of sun on his cheeks and clouds turning themselves into the childish shapes of his desire. Even as the song on the winds speak his new name into his ears, the bonfires below burning it up so it reached the heavens. to the voices of acolytes proclaiming it so...
He was worried.
Worried and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He was unwanted everywhere else.
By his mother, who made him a puppet - who left him with no identity or name
By the Fatui, who deemed him unworthy.
So when it came to be; the Creator's return to the mortal plane...
When he'd come to demand answers, angry about simply existing.
Your voice so gentle and warm, apologizing that you were not there to help him when he called to your name in begs and prayers. When the world you made and hurt him so much and how sorry you were that it treated him so cruelly... He felt the sincerity pouring through every pore, it washed over him - like a blanket.
You understood his pain.
He found that you had long since been asleep, since the dawn of the Archonic creation. Even the small bit of divinity used to create each drained your body, already tired from forming Teyvat with your hands. So you could not know of the acts being committed in your name, what those of your own blood were doing.
"If i had known one of mine created their own, I would have cherished them like I did them." You said with a softness only rivaled by your hands.
He had fallen to his knees, unable to stand after the crushing weight of pain fell upon him. You were not completely blameless...
But you did not lie to him.
Did not abandon him.
You stayed until the tears dried up, stroking his sore eyes.
"So now that I know she did not love you like you deserve... You are mine now." He nearly fell again, but your embrace held him up. "You will be my son... And I will give you everything."
How it was so warm and loving, arms cradling him as if he were nothing more than a babe. His hands white-knuckling at your divine robes as he just sniveled into your chest, no doubt covering them in his snot and tears... But you didn't care, cooing sweetly to the boy about how he's already made you proud. How you already loved him.
He nearly cried again when you gave him his name.
"You will be my son, so your name will have our title."
You pondered about it for a while before having a servant fetched ink and parchment. It was a bit unusual, seeing you hold the calligraphy brush. Seeing the ink touching the edges if your sleeves and staining them, but you just smile so brightly when it is finished.
「神愛」
He longed for a place to belong, for an identity... For someone or something to give him worth.
You have given him all these things.
He was uncomfortable at first having it, as it was blatantly a reminder of his lineage. of the woman who abandoned him... Of beelzebul.
But you only smiled.
"It is to remind everyone where you started," your hands come to guide him "and how far you've become."
"The character for god, so you always remember me and so i am always with you." You hummed a lullby as the strokes appeared across the parchment. "And the character for love so you know how much I have for you."
He smudges ink on his robes too, unable to stop smiling as his whispered his name to himself.
Kaito was the name on the tongues of the acolytes once his adoption was raised outside your walls domain. Call of festivals was announced to welcome him into the fold, into the public, as the beloved son of Teyvat's dear Creator soon to be celebrated as well.
For if he was worthy in the eyes of the Creator; he should also be worshipped.
He laughed at Beelzebul's frantic correspondence sent to you; of which descended into begging for at least a letter to be sent... You had found yourself simply unable to deal with her after finding out what she'd done to him, decidedly icing her out on his behalf.
It was a wonderful feeling being loved, as sweet as it would be showing her what had become of her puppet.
He allowed an invitation to his coronation be sent to her, despite your worries about his mental health.
"Are you sure you want to see her, dear? it'd be so dreadful if she ruined your special day." You asked him gently, your concern making his cold heart swell.
"I will be fine," he insisted as you settle another crown to test on his head, amused "it will show her what she missed and how much it cost her."
You laughed at the cruelty but don't otherwise protest.
You didn't find a crown suited to him that day, though you thanked the providers. The items were returned and shop-keeps were able to keep them as they were considered beautiful pieces by the creator.
The day came and he still did not have a crown.
But he trusted you to find one, as you insisted it would be only appropriate as he was your son.
The day had come quicker than he would have liked, how he was primped and cleansed - donning the celestial robes of the creator.
Of you, his darling guardian.
They were deep violet, small pearlescent spots likes stars crawling up the gold trimmed edges. His under clothes blacker than the abyss, the servants in awe of his beauty. Leaving him bashfully flushing and modestly brushing off their assorted compliments. He dripped in opulence, gold pieces to accent his looks as the crackle of blessing came from the Gnosis you made personally for him.
As he finally was ready, he wondered if he was worthy.
Your eyes sparkled like gems when you saw him, taking him in your open arms and bursting in joy. Happy to see him looking so handsome and playfully crooning about his future partner in a manner that made him absolutely red in embarrassment.
You only laughed and softly spoke, "Come baby, there is a whole world to show that you are worthy of worship."
His hand was clasped in your's, the walk slow and almost agonizing. The chattering of people growing less distant with the passing moments, his hands shake and he needed a second as you stepped onto the balcony first.
The cheers of Teyvat boomed like a sonic roar, your hymns and prayers called to the wind as the ground and skies bellowed your name. He is terrified....
But he is ready.
You lifted your hands for silence, still smiling as bright and as warm as the sun. The hush that came was nearly instant, eager faces peering up in utter reverence. Archons on high waiting to hear your lovely voice.
"My dear creations, Teyvat.... As you have heard, I have found a son." The cheers from below just made you smile wider "It is much more than just finding someone worthy to hold my place and succeed me, it is because I love this boy... Love him so dearly that I wanted him as my own, he deserves your worship. Deserves to be loved as much as I. He'd gone through much pain and it broke my heart to know that this world that I made treats its kind people with such cruelty."
Your eyes watered when the people join together, holding hands and each other.
"If I could take all the suffering, I would... But feeling and understanding pain is what shows we are alive, that we are stronger for persevering." your voice shook, "And my poor boy had been through so much."
Your hands wipe your eyes and they watch, captivated at your grace and beauty - even in your sorrow. But then you give them a smile again and step aside, calling to the masses in pride that is so reminiscent of a parent.
"I, the All-Creator, Jewel of Celestia, have the greatest pleasure to present to you; your prince and my son..." The curtains pull back and he walked onto the balcony, beams of light shining off his hair and deep eyes. "Young lord Kaito of Teyvat!!!"
The screams would be deafening if you both weren't so high up, the chants of his new name louder than he can even think. The shouts of praise nearly make him shrink, but he stood tall. Especially as your hand touched his back, as your smiling face came into his peripheral. With his head up, he looked at them dead on and waved.
He smiled.
Especially as his sharp eyes caught Beelzebul's pale, shocked face. but the fuzzy warmth in his chest only grew as your fingers touched the top of his head.
From your touch, your grace washed over him. The weight of a diadem formed on his head. The Gnosis on his chest buzzed to life and his body rolled in a brightness rivaled only by the stars, from his skin to his blood - it was if he was charged with energy. A power that was unlike anything else he'd ever had.
"Divinity suits you, Kaito." You hummed, taking his hand.
Kaito smiled shyly and just squeezed your hand and whispered, "Only because I take after you, Oya."
At your side, he finally has a place.
He finally has his rightful godly status.
As he looked to see pride in your glittering tears and smile nearly blinding... A peace like no other settled within him.
He belongs.
He is worthy.
The Son of Graces
Pairing(s): None || PLATONIC: Son! Wanderer & Parental! Creator! Gender Neutral! Reader
A/N: Some miscellaneous HCs surrounding this AU. Involving some things I can't stop thinking about.
This wanderer's name is Kaito! He uses "Oya" to refer to the reader as a gender neutral Japanese term for a parent.
Companion Piece to "The Loving Hands of God"
Still not taking any Genshin requests, this is truly the last of my brainrot.
honestly, he's such a baby, it's adorable though and it's funny how pouty he gets when you tease him about it
he has a whole floor to himself with your imperial temple and while he does enjoy occasionally studying and reading by himself, he much prefers having tea with your or sitting in the garden
when he has trouble sleeping, he always ends up in your room - though he can get quite flustered about how he feels like a young babe still sleeping with his parents
(don't worry, he grows out of it - though he likes napping with you)
he started growing out his hair too, starting to braid it as it grows - it's long and tight - thinner
you mentioned that it would suit him and he wanted to try, though it's clear to any bystander that he'd hate to disappoint you
super awkward when he started recieving offerings, taking them with dignity, grace, and modesty but forever is concerned over there being too many
he wears his diadem for special occasions, mostly because the both of you travel around orphanages and give food and money to the needy and well... he doesn't need it to signify his new position
when he first pricked his fingers and ichor came, he was amazed
while he knew he was given your grace during his crowning and he did have the ability to create; having bloomed plants from his palms and shaped rocks with his finger tips...
you tell him that he will grow strong as you in time and that you will teach him everything
he was truly of your creed and there is such pride in him, he's bursting to make something new to show you
and Kaito was so terribly excited to make something you would be proud of
so he begins research, specifically on flora and botany and herbs
it would be something he would make not only as a dedication to you but a gift to the people, his studying was intensive but he was careful to not spoil the surprise
his personal servants are unsure about lying to you but only do so because to defy Kaito was to oppose you
they thought it was quite precious that he wanted to surpise you anyhow so they were able to keep it under wraps
eventually, he finally creates a new, beautiful flower after bouts of trial and error
he wants it to be available in all types of climate so there was testing and adjustments made to it's needs
it was perfect, it grew in bunches and the color was your favorite
when the petals are harvested, they make a lovely tea that promotes better sleep
when the bulb itself is ground up, it makes for a balm that encourages faster healing
when he presented to you, he was terribly nervous
you had created so many large and beautiful things and this was his first step to show that you were not wrong in choosing him
unsurprisingly, you weeped at the thoughtfulness of your darling son
even after the world you made was so cruel to him, he could still find kindness to give to the people that need it
the flowers were beautiful as well and Kaito made sure you and your staff were the first to try both tea and balm
so moved, you hugged him right away and praised his intelligence and ingenuity, prideful and happy as can be
you softly tell him that he was doing right already and he feels himself welling up as you went on to call him the healing balm that your creation needed
with that, the pair of you headed out to make sure his new flower bloomed across the whole of Teyvat
... it was rightfully named "god's lace" once discovered by herbalists and you happily piled all the rightful credit onto your son, singing his praises to anyone that would stop and listen
like that, his popularity skyrocketed even more and people from all over would associate the flower with him
it makes something in his heart warm when he sees less people in hospitals and planters bustling with the flowers he made for you
you take care to put some in your hair and on some commissioned tapestries occasionally
he's done some good
you surprise him later with a very lovely set of earrings, with gems made personally for him and imbued with your godly essence
he rarely takes them off
the pair of you spend a lot of time together and unsurprisingly, he's never far from your side
you take to calling him all sorts of nicknames; he's partial to just his name but "nightingale" or "chickling" make him smile... he might be a bit old for the latter but who is he to deny his beloved parent?
he usually isn't too cruel but he sort of finds it amusing Baal was just so desperate to reach you, but you continue your rather curt disposition
you do not speak to her for anything other than official business, mostly as a formality and it is only a mix of your grace and Kaito's kindness was the reason she wasn't removed from the role of Electro Archon
you're polite at best, short and cold at the very worst
there is no heavier punishment then her seeing how sweetly you treat the son she'd abandoned
now the son of the creator, he needs no revenge past that - finding it useless in the grand scheme
his former minions are now so apart of your staff - seriously, they did not expect to move up in the world so high
they still attend to Kaito but now as the essentially a damn prince, he gets to pay them real well for the work they do
some now attend to being his guard but others deigned to hide among staff as seemingly unskilled civilians
this simpler life is much nicer and getting to attend to Kaito; now the Esteemed Son of the All-Creator is an honor they'll be envied for
Kaito is also much less bratty too
The Loving Hands of God
Creator AU - Where the reader is treated like a diety by the characters of Genshin Impact
Pairing(s): None || PLATONIC: Son! Wanderer & Parental! Gender Neutral! Creator! Reader Summary: He is reminded everyday that you chose him. But some days are harder than others; and he's grateful to have you sweep the cloudy skies away.
A/N: I don't really play Genshin but here we are, I'm just getting out my ideas - don't mind me.
This Wanderer is named "Kaito(神愛)", with the characters written for "god" and "love". I thought it could be cute to kind of give a call back to his origin but something also to remind him of how far he's come. He also calls the reader "Oya", which is the best thing I could get to a gender neutral Japanese term for mother or father.
I won't be taking requests! This is most likely a one time thing. This is also inspired by "this lovely piece" by @dropletpetals
(Extra Miscellaneous HCs: "The Son of Graces")
Warning(s): Wanderer backstory spoilers! Some revenge. This was written on my phone so forgive any errors.
Over grassy, rolling knolls - filled to the brim with blooming flowers in his favorite colors and breeds. Even under the loving warmth of sun on his cheeks and clouds turning themselves into the childish shapes of his desire. Even as the song on the winds speak his new name into his ears, the bonfires below burning it up so it reached the heavens. to the voices of acolytes proclaiming it so...
He was worried.
Worried and waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He was unwanted everywhere else.
By his mother, who made him a puppet - who left him with no identity or name
By the Fatui, who deemed him unworthy.
So when it came to be; the Creator's return to the mortal plane...
When he'd come to demand answers, angry about simply existing.
Your voice so gentle and warm, apologizing that you were not there to help him when he called to your name in begs and prayers. When the world you made and hurt him so much and how sorry you were that it treated him so cruelly... He felt the sincerity pouring through every pore, it washed over him - like a blanket.
You understood his pain.
He found that you had long since been asleep, since the dawn of the Archonic creation. Even the small bit of divinity used to create each drained your body, already tired from forming Teyvat with your hands. So you could not know of the acts being committed in your name, what those of your own blood were doing.
"If I had known one of mine created their own, I would have cherished them like I did them." You said with a softness only rivaled by your hands.
He had fallen to his knees, unable to stand after the crushing weight of pain fell upon him. You were not completely blameless...
But you did not lie to him.
Did not abandon him.
You stayed until the tears dried up, stroking his sore eyes.
"So now that I know she did not love you like you deserve... You are mine now." He nearly fell again, but your embrace held him up. "You will be my son... And I will give you everything."
How it was so warm and loving, arms cradling him as if he were nothing more than a babe. His hands white-knuckling at your divine robes as he just sniveled into your chest, no doubt covering them in his snot and tears... But you didn't care, cooing sweetly to the boy about how he's already made you proud. How you already loved him.
He nearly cried again when you gave him his name.
"You will be my son, so your name will have our title."
You pondered about it for a while before having a servant fetched ink and parchment. It was a bit unusual, seeing you hold the calligraphy brush. Seeing the ink touching the edges if your sleeves and staining them, but you just smile so brightly when it is finished.
「神愛」
He longed for a place to belong, for an identity... For someone or something to give him worth.
You have given him all these things.
He was uncomfortable at first having it, as it was blatantly a reminder of his lineage. of the woman who abandoned him... Of beelzebul.
But you only smiled.
"It is to remind everyone where you started," your hands come to guide him "and how far you've come."
"The character for god, so you always remember me and so I am always with you." You hummed a lullby as the strokes appeared across the parchment. "And the character for love so you know how much I have for you."
He smudges ink on his robes too, unable to stop smiling as his whispered his name to himself.
Kaito was the name on the tongues of the acolytes once his adoption was raised outside your walls domain. Call of festivals was announced to welcome him into the fold, into the public, as the beloved son of Teyvat's dear Creator soon to be celebrated as well.
For if he was worthy in the eyes of the Creator; he should also be worshipped.
He laughed at Beelzebul's frantic correspondence sent to you; of which descended into begging for at least a letter to be sent... You had found yourself simply unable to deal with her after finding out what she'd done to him, decidedly icing her out on his behalf.
It was a wonderful feeling being loved, as sweet as it would be showing her what had become of her puppet.
He allowed an invitation to his coronation be sent to her, despite your worries about his mental health.
"Are you sure you want to see her, dear? it'd be so dreadful if she ruined your special day." You asked him gently, your concern making his cold heart swell.
"I will be fine," he insisted as you settle another crown to test on his head, amused "it will show her what she missed and how much it cost her."
You laughed at the cruelty but don't otherwise protest.
You didn't find a crown suited to him that day, though you thanked the providers. The items were returned and shop-keeps were able to keep them as they were considered beautiful pieces by the creator.
The day came and he still did not have a crown.
But he trusted you to find one, as you insisted it would be only appropriate as he was your son.
The day had come quicker than he would have liked, how he was primped and cleansed - donning the celestial robes of the creator.
Of you, his darling guardian.
They were deep violet, small pearlescent spots likes stars crawling up the gold trimmed edges. His under clothes blacker than the abyss, the servants in awe of his beauty. Leaving him bashfully flushing and modestly brushing off their assorted compliments. He dripped in opulence, gold pieces to accent his looks as the crackle of blessing came from the Gnosis you made personally for him.
As he finally was ready, he wondered if he was worthy.
Your eyes sparkled like gems when you saw him, taking him in your open arms and bursting in joy. Happy to see him looking so handsome and playfully crooning about his future partner in a manner that made him absolutely red in embarrassment.
You only laughed and softly spoke, "Come baby, there is a whole world to show that you are worthy of worship."
His hand was clasped in your's, the walk slow and almost agonizing. The chattering of people growing less distant with the passing moments, his hands shake and he needed a second as you stepped onto the balcony first.
The cheers of Teyvat boomed like a sonic roar, your hymns and prayers called to the wind as the ground and skies bellowed your name. He is terrified....
But he is ready.
You lifted your hands for silence, still smiling as bright and as warm as the sun. The hush that came was nearly instant, eager faces peering up in utter reverence. Archons on high waiting to hear your lovely voice.
"My dear creations, Teyvat.... As you have heard, I have found a son." The cheers from below just made you smile wider "It is much more than just finding someone worthy to hold my place and succeed me, it is because I love this boy... Love him so dearly that I wanted him as my own, he deserves your worship. Deserves to be loved as much as I. He'd gone through much pain and it broke my heart to know that this world that I made treats its kind people with such cruelty."
Your eyes watered when the people join together, holding hands and each other.
"If I could take all the suffering, I would... But feeling and understanding pain is what shows we are alive, that we are stronger for persevering." your voice shook, "And my poor boy had been through so much."
Your hands wipe your eyes and they watch, captivated at your grace and beauty - even in your sorrow. But then you give them a smile again and step aside, calling to the masses in pride that is so reminiscent of a parent.
"I, the All-Creator, Jewel of Celestia, have the greatest pleasure to present to you; your prince and my son..." The curtains pull back and he walked onto the balcony, beams of light shining off his hair and deep eyes. "Young lord Kaito of Teyvat!!!"
The screams would be deafening if you both weren't so high up, the chants of his new name louder than he can even think. The shouts of praise nearly make him shrink, but he stood tall. Especially as your hand touched his back, as your smiling face came into his peripheral. With his head up, he looked at them dead on and waved.
He smiled.
Especially as his sharp eyes caught Beelzebul's pale, shocked face. but the fuzzy warmth in his chest only grew as your fingers touched the top of his head.
From your touch, your grace washed over him. The weight of a diadem formed on his head. The Gnosis on his chest buzzed to life and his body rolled in a brightness rivaled only by the stars, from his skin to his blood - it was if he was charged with energy. A power that was unlike anything else he'd ever had.
"Divinity suits you, Kaito." You hummed, taking his hand.
Kaito smiled shyly and just squeezed your hand and whispered, "Only because I take after you, Oya."
At your side, he finally has a place.
He finally has his rightful godly status.
As he looked to see pride in your glittering tears and smile nearly blinding... A peace like no other settled within him.
He belongs.
He is worthy.
To the Heart of It
Pairing(s): Alternate! Cesar Torres X Gender Neutral! Reader
Summary: You try and tell yourself that you didn't lose the love of your life, you just have to keep believing that... But why is the alternate letting you believe your own lie?
A/N: Down the rabbit hole I go, I guess. I wanted to explore this idea so here, I probably won't be writing for the Mandela Catalogue again tho - I won't be taking requests.
(I also again do not have a blog for this, so I'm just posting it on my main.)
Warning(s): Angst. Mentions of Suicide and Character Death. Obsessive/Possessive Behavior. Body Horror.
When you came to see Cesar, worried about his lack of correspondence, you didn't even consider the alternates as an obstacle. There would be nothing getting in the way of you seeing him. Come hell or high water.
Bursting into the nearly empty house, you called his name over and over in search. Close to sobbing at the stabbing of anxiety every second you went on without knowing of he was okay.
Cesar's voice was low when it called to you, quiet as your name came from the end of the dark hallway.
You sprinted towards him without hesitation, arms swinging ariund his body. Enough to make him stumble and grunt in surprise.
Sobbing into his neck, you whisper, "I'm so happy..."
He was motionless before he cradled you in his arms.
You knew then that he wasn't Cesar.
Not quite anyway.
His voice would distort and shake between his sweet nothings.
His form, while sharing his face, was different depending on the day.
He'd come back smelling like blood.
But he always came back, always spent his time with you. Reciprocating your affections and "sleeping" in your arms, taking the time to run out to get supplies and make sure the house was stocked.
His laugh was the same, his voice was still gentle as it spoke to you.
He cradled you in his arms like you two were the only people in the world.
He still wasn't your Cesar Torres.
Just a monster wearing his skin.
It was nice to pretend.
But one winter night, tucked in the chest of the thing you knew killed the man you loved...
"I know you're not actually him." You whisper, staring at the swirling darkness at the edges of the room.
Still sleepy, even as the being behind you twitched.
"What do you mean?"
He almost sounded... Nervous.
"I know you're an alternate... I've known this whole time, the minute I heard you speak." You were so tired "... Why did you play along? Let me pretend?"
There was silence, oppressive and heavy. Lanky arms, that were much too powerful, curled tighter around your body.
In the whole of your heart, you couldn't call him an it.
His voice was fragmented, others interspersed between his soft tones.
"I was curious."
"Knew humans do a lot for their loved ones."
"Wanted to see why he loved you so much."
"Wanted to experience what it was like to be loved."
There was an extended silence and the whispers quieted.
"Cesar's" voice came, lips pressed to your ear. His voice was quiet, "Do you still love me?"
You peer into the shadows, your eyes welling with tears. Feeling very alone at the prospect of being left, arms like a vice around you. But he's still here.
He hasn't let go.
You would not cave to dying at your own hands.
Not when you seeked out the answer.
He knew that.
You turn.
His eyes were black as the void, dark and deep.
Your fingers curled around his cheek.
"Are you going to leave if I tell you that I do?" Your voice shook, fingers sweeping through his dark hair.
He shut his eyes, seemingly enjoying the feeling. Sighing quietly, though he is not breathing anymore. As there was no need to do it for show now thst you knew.
"No." His lashes were as dark and pretty as his hair having used photos to make sure he was close as he could be. "I don't think I can anymore."
Lips still soft as he kissed you, murmuring against your mouth. "You're mine now dearest lamb... I won't let you be taken by anything else. Other humans... My own kind... No one, not even yourself."
You whimpered against his lips but it's stamped out as he kissed you deeper, pressing you into the mattress.
"You've given... me a taste of love, made me... burn for you." He said in reverence, voice stalling occasionally "... I love you the way he did."
His face twisted a bit above you, stretching the features of the man you adored into frightening proportions. Smile stretched wide across his face.
"Will you still call me Cesar, dearest?... Can you still love me knowing I am not him?"
You peer at him.
Unafraid.
Just seeing this bastardized version of him should have broken you.
Should have driven you MAD, finally ready to run instead into the arms of death to see an afterlife with the real Cesar.
In the end, you fell in love with this creature.
All because he donned your boyfriend's face.
Cesar, the real one, might curse your name until you died and went to hell. For falling for the creature that killed him and wore his skin.
But as you lived and breathed, it was still love.
Your hands wound around his neck and you kissed his grotesque features, peppering his face.
He sunk into your affections like a cat.
You only smile.
"Do you have another name? Or will just petnames suffice?"
His cold, thin fingers stroke away your tears while his face morphed back into familiar territory.
"... Keep calling me Cesar until we'll pick a new name together."
You hummed, gently drawing him back under the covers. Body curling comfortingly around you.
Protective.
Solid.
... In the end, you still get to be with the man you loved more than anything so you were happy.
And now... So was he.
Sex, Drugs, Etc.
Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. SH. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2022
I got a lot of inspiration and motivation from @whoopsyeahokay series called October Sun if you haven't read it yet I recommend you do its amazing, you can find it on tumblr and Ao3. October Sun
(This is very self indulgent and based on things ive been through and how I could have very easily ended up as a ghost. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness. This is a judgment free zone so I want no bullying or hate on anyone. I'm not the best writer so be nice)
1.9k Words
Enjoy :)
-
Two days, two fucking days you’ve been rotting and no ones come to find you. Well no one alive at least.
It started off normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Just another boring school day with the same washed out boring people. Tired eyes and even more tired souls. So what changed? A little slip up on the same thing that had almost claimed your life many times over the years except this time no one was there to save you.
You were 14 when you first learned the only way for your brain to stop spinning, trying to find a new way to obtain peace was with a very simple little thing. Weed, this wasn't what was deadly, no it was what started the cycle. First it was weed, then it was alcohol, then it was late night parties, until one day it fell into the palm of your hand. A simple little pill, how could it cause so much damage? Things were fine until one pill turned into two then two turned into three and then you ended up on the patio of a stranger's porch foaming out the mouth. 4 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab was enough to scare you for a while, but not enough to make you forget about the relief that came with it.
That's how you ended up here, sitting in a circle sharing stories about life and death, a group of highschool boys who had no idea you were even there, playing basketball behind you. Should have just gone to group like you were told to, at least then you would have been with people who understood addiction. Now judgmental eyes fall upon you because you caused your own death. As much as you wanted to find someone, something to blame you knew you couldn't, this was your fault. The spinning hasn't stopped. At least ghosts couldn't go through withdrawal, doesn’t change the fact that the empty feeling you tried so desperately to fill is more presint than ever.
The sweet voice of Mr.Martin fills the room. Like white nose until you heard him call your name. Head shooting up to look up at him. “Have you started working on your obituary?” Ah yes, ghost homework. you would have never thought that you would have been asked to write your own obituary yet here we are. Not as easy as it sounds.
“I’ve got some ideas” Like when you got so drunk you threw up on your friends cat, or when you were so high that your brother convinced you the plane flying over your house was a UFO, fun memories. Apparently you were supposed to write about the good parts of your life but that's kinda hard when the only good memories you had were caused by what put you in this situation to begin with.
“Take your time, if you need to im sure some of the others wouldn't mind telling you about what they wrote, for motivation.” You give a simple nod, wanting all the prying eyes around you to look away. And they do, except a certain pair that had been watching you since you got here.
Wally Clark, a sweet boy, bright future, died to soon like everyone else in this fucked up version of your own personal hell. He asked too many questions, it wasn't a secret how you died, just something you didn't want to talk about. He respected that, like most of the others, most. Doesn't stop him from prying, staring with curious eyes.
“I think that's all for today, don't forget tomorrow's movie night as always our newest member will be picking the movie.” You give an awkward smile before standing up and turning to leave along with the rest of the group. Heavy footsteps creeping up behind you and the sound of your name being called stops you as the tall boy catches up.
“So um do you need help with your obituary? not to brag but I think I did a pretty good job on mine.” Wally was quite attractive, tall, with big brown eyes, and slick back brown fluffy hair. No doubt having made girls fawn over him during his lifetime. You and him weren't exactly friends but the idea of having a little help writing… well, a self obituary wasn't bad.
“Sure, we could go to the library.” An excited grin grew on Wallys face, not expecting you to say yes.
“Yeah, yeah the library sounds great” It was kinda cute how he acted sometimes. Not like a typical jock, a pure golden retriever.
“Cool” You stand there kinda awkwardly, hands in the pockets of your red zip up hoodie as you gave him an expecting look.
“Oh like now?” He was somehow the most confident yet most awkward person in the world. “Um okay yeah that works”
You tilt your head sideways towards the door leading out the gym, indicating for him to follow you out. Taking the lead and making your way out, opening the door for him. “Ladies first” He let out a small chuckle at your attempt at a joke, considering it was the first time you really talked to anyone since everything happened. It wasn't that you didn't like people, you just didn’t understand the point of friends. It might sound depressing but having a small group of people that you know will stick around is better than hanging around people that barely know you. Yet here you are, stuck with strangers for eternity or until you finally move on, however long that’ll take.
The hallway was filled with loud teens, some rushing to their next class others going out the back door, more than likely skipping. “So how does this work?” You look over at him.
“What? The afterlife?” He looks at you, a little nervous. “I don’t think im the best person to explain it to you, that's more of Charley's thing.” Charley was sweet, the first person you met when you woke up. Some sort of after life guide.
“No, a self obituary.” The words felt weird coming out your mouth. “I know I'm supposed to write about all the great things in life but I don't think huffing nitrous in my uncles bathroom on thanksgiving really counts as a good memory.”
“Nitrous? like the shit in whipped cream?” He gave you a sideways look, a concerned but humored smile on his face.
“Yes, the shit in whipped cream, I don't recommend. I passed out and almost had a seizure.” As we reach the library he opens the door, allowing you to go in first.
“Okay, maybe don’t include that in your obituary, how about” He thought for a second. “Write about your friends and family, I'm sure you have some good memories with them.”
You let out a frustrated sigh as you sat down at a table, Wally sitting down across from you as you take off your backpack, pulling a pencil and the folder Mr.Martin had given you. “That's too much work, do you think Mr.Martin would notice if I just copied yours?” Wally laughs a little, his straight white teeth showing.
“No, he’ll totally believe that you played football and lost your virginity in your moms car.” Now you’re the one laughing, his sentence coming out way too casually.
“You lost your virginity in your moms car?” You take a few seconds to process before you look at him judgmentally. “You included how you lost your virginity?” Though the smiles’ still apparent on your face.
“Happy memories, remember?” And there's the jock attitude you were waiting for, somehow a bit surprising but not unexpected. “You could just write your feelings.” You have a whole journal for that from when you got sober… soberish.
“This may come as a shock to you but I'm not exactly a feelings person.” Not totally true, it was just easier to not feel anything at all, especially with the situation you're in right now.
“Really? I couldn't tell” The sarcastic tone in his voice very apparent. “Alright fine, if you were happiest when you were high then it's worth writing.”
“Great, so high stories, got it” Though it wasn't the best idea, you had to write something so Mr.Martin would get off your ass about it. Reminiscing was a slippery slope, you were holding up decently so far but contrary to what all the others think it hurt deep down. “How about the first time I tried molly?” Probably one of the best ‘happy pills’ you tried in your lifetime.
“What was it like?” He clearly had no intentions of finding out first hand, just curious of the experience.
“It made me really aware but like in a good way.” There was no real way to describe it without going into depth. “And kinda trippy I guess, does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He knew he could never truly understand, no one could unless they experienced it themselves. As you begin to jot down the memory Wally peaks over, looking at the page though it's not very useful due to the fact that he doesn't possess the skill to read upside down.
“Nosey” You laugh a little at his attempt to get to know you better. “You know if you want to get to know me, maybe there are better ways to do it then helping me write my own obituary” Yep, still didn't sound right.
“Oh um yeah, this is probably a really weird first hang out.” He laughs awkwardly at the realization that this is still new to you. It wasn't like he had never been around a new ghost before, he knew he was supposed to be slow, supportive, ease them into it but with the way you acted sometimes made him think you were more used to this than he was. In a way you were, death was something that you had imagined so many times so when it actually came the idea of being trapped wasn't one you hadn't thought of before. “How about after we're done with this I could take you down to the pool?”
You smile, the sentiment was sweet. “Thanks, but I don't know how to swim.” You were never taught and it didn't seem important in life so you just never learned. The surprised look on Wallys face was priceless.
“How the hell are you 18 and don’t know how to swim?” It wasn't judgmental, just a little surprised, but the grin on his face indicated that he had an idea.
“Oh god, what are you thinking about?” You knew what was coming, he wouldn't be him if he didn’t jump at the opportunity to help a new friend. Wally was very readable and you didn’t know if that was a good thing yet.
“I could teach you.” And there it was, of course he wanted to teach you. “It could be fun, plus you don't have much else to do.”
“You know what fuck it, you’re right there isnt shit else to do.” Especially with your body still laying cold in the old abandoned locker rooms aka ‘the brain cave’.
“Great, you should keep writing, the faster you get it over with the less weird it feels.” And that's how it started, you were never the friend type but as much as you hated to say it you needed someone. Sure that someone is very attractive and the idea of seeing him in nothing but swim trunks was a nice image but who could blame you? The afterlife is lonely.
Pt.2