Ugly Crying Over The Fact That I Don’t Have Any More Bagels For Breakfast

"Cassian could stick up for Nesta just once and I'd forgive him" "just waiting for the moment to forgive Cassian" "I give up I forgive him already"

couldn't be me like I genuinely don't understand this way of thinking

if it was just the fact that he didn't say I love you or doesn't stand up for her then maybe I could understand if he really redeemed himself but after everything he has done?

he has repeatedly judged, harassed, mocked, berated, insulted, and assaulted her. he punished her physically and emotionally, locked her up, took advantage of her and even more

why on earth would you want to forgive any of that? why are you waiting for a moment where you can just forget all of that happened? you can even see it with that stupid quote when they almost died people think that means it's okay that beforehand he was horrible to her and couldn't respect a woman's "no" if it kicked him in the balls (and there is actual canon evidence of that fyi)

I will never support people who romanticize young girls being in relationships with older men that shit is my worst trauma

A Court of Thorns and Roses Locations

⤷ THE AUTUMN COURT

For @moononastring

I'm the type of person to destroy myself with knowledge.. needing to know exactly how something happened, even if its gruesome. So when nesta looked into the dead eyes of the king I felt that

Ugh I'm gonna be fr my mommy issues are literally why I'm so frustrated at sjm for how she handled Nesta's 'healing journey' in ACOSF

she should have found some healing in relation to both her parents fr

ever since i turned 20 i feel like i’ve genuinely just become so much more restless. i think i’m just reaching a point in my life where i’m ready to tap into that version of myself i’ve dreamed about for so long. like i’m just so ready to be her. nothing but love for current me, bc she got me through a lot. but i want to move w that new energy i’ve had on my mind for so long. i think i’m getting closer to being there

Autumn Court villages with colorful roof tiles that match the autumn foliage, and architecture with carved wood for window frames, gables, and fascias, and cool painted decor.

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!tw!: mentions of pedophilia, sexual assault, basically my encounter with a sexual predator (no detailed descriptions or anything, just me telling the story of how i was exposed to one)

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kids just kinda... have a sixth sense... i can’t really explain it,, but like,, they can tell if an adult is a sexual predator or dangerous or something. i’ve seen this happen so many times, but the one event that confirms it is actually something that I experienced with my karate instructor.

when i was about six or seven, i went to karate classes twice a week. my dad would drive me there, then sit and read a book (usually the chronicles of narnia or lord of the rings or something like that) in a chair at the edge of the room with the other parents.

 i had always felt uneasy around the instructor, but i passed it off as me being super shy. it eventually got to the point where if he got within three feet of me, i’d immediately start shaking and my heart would race and stuff. 

the breaking point was about eight or nine weeks into classes. for some reason, as soon as he stopped next to me, i burst into tears. (now, when i was a kid, i didn’t cry. i just didn’t. i’d scrape my knee, fall off my bike, hit my head, but i almost never cried.) cue everyone asking me if i was alright and crowding around me and stuff, but i just ran over to my dad and jumped into his arms, refusing to let go of him. after a solid ten minutes of me sobbing my heart out into his shirt, he pulled me from the class, took me out for ice cream, and drove me home, playing my favorite heavy metal songs for me (yeah i had weird taste in music as a kid).

after that, i refused to go back to karate. i dug my heels in and would throw a temper tantrum that shook the ground if my parents tried to get me to go to karate. so, i never went back. 

i’d mostly forgotten about it over time, occasionally thinking about it late at night when i had trouble sleeping, but other than that, it almost completely left my mind.

that was, until earlier this morning, my dad told me that my old karate instructor had been arrested for sexually assaulting an eight year old boy, and apparently, according to his DETAILED journal, he’d been doing it since he started working as a karate instructor. boys, girls, big, little. he’d done it for decades.

who knows, i could have been one of those children. i could’ve been one of them, and i can’t stop thinking about it, along with the fact that children most definitely can, in some small part of their minds, tell if someone is dangerous. they may not know at the time what exactly is wrong, but they know that something is.

random thoughts that add to the list of reasons why i should not be allowed to have sentience.

so,, you know how tooru hagakure (invisible girl from mha), when she wears clothes, you can still see them bc things don’t turn invisible when they touch her? 

what if she had her hero costume on but was on her period so you just see boots, gloves and a fuckin tampon floatin in the air. that’d be every teenage boy’s nightmare lol. 

also, can she see herself? 

how did her parents know she’d been born when she came out of her mum, if she was invisible? 

how does she get a haircut? 

Also, since she’s pretty much naked for her hero costume, then could her hero costume be classified as a “titties out” outfit?