Love As Acceptance

fucking forehead to forehead is so intimate like pls... be careful........ our souls are gonna get intertwined........

Contains TOG spoilers........

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But first....... Lucien ☀️🔥

Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless—

"all the sounds that Lucien so carefully sorted through while he kept watch."

Like Rhys, he usually opted for words to win his battles.

“I trust in the fact that we currently have possession of the one thing he wants above all else. And as long as that remains, he’ll try to stay on our good side. But if that changes …"

"His talent was wasted in the Spring Court."

"There was a reason he had that fox mask, you know."

No wonder he’d been so eager to head alone into Velaris that day he’d gone to help us research. I shot a look at Rhys. Seems like Lucien can still play the fox.

“Lucien can’t be entirely trusted anymore.”. “Lucien might mean well, but any reports would be skewed—even if he isn’t aware of it—in their favor.

Lucien stared out the window—as if he could see the lake across a sea and a continent. As if he were setting his target.

“Eyes can be blinded,” Nesta said. “Not the ones under my command,” Azriel said with soft menace.

"Lucien will never be good enough"

“There are others in your court as delusional as you are. They’ll get it for me one way or another, with the right incentive.

I'd be surprised if we don't get a super clever scheme in Elucien's book, courtesy of Lucien.

SJM has previously said Dorian and Lucien would be great friends and we know that Dorian was not only extremely powerful with raw power that be could shape as he desired but he was also very cunning. In KOA, he took two of the Wyrdkeys and tracked down Maeve to find the third. Maeve asked Dorian to work with her, explaining that she wants the keys so she can get rid of Erawen and his brothers for good.

Dorian agrees, asking her to bring the spiders to his side and he will marry her, giving her a new Kingdom to rule over.

In a later chapter, Maeve slips into Dorians mind, using her powers to control him but the entire time he's been tricking her, using her own power against her (a Valg!) to learn how hers actually work, taking over her mind instead.

There's already notable similarities between Dorian and Lucien, their polished persona's, their fathers both had them held down and forced them to watch the execution of the woman they loved, unknown magical powers, hints at Lucien being extremely powerful as Dorian was powerful, and their intelligence.

SJM has also pointed out how Rhys and Lucien share a likeness in how they use their words to fight battles and we know Rhys often schemes, having others question his intentions only to find out he had some wildly clever plot going the whole time.

I could easily see her having Lucien do something similar. Maybe he'll have a plan for Koschei or the Human Queens that he didn't inform the others of, something Elain becomes suspicious about and starts following him (Mr. and Mrs. Smith anyone? It would be even better if this followed the arranged marriage trope 😂).

The others acknowledge Lucien is clever and insightful yet they still underestimate him. You can tell they look at him as a tool for when it benefits their own purpose rather than viewing him as an equal, a force to be reckoned with.

I'd also love if it led to Az eating a bit of humble pie. He's so certain of Lucien being unworthy, imagine if Lucien managed to outsmart Az and his shadows.

I just despise Elon Musk. I hope history remembers him as the giant, privileged, toxic, entitled douchebag he is and not this myth he has worked so hard to create about himself. He is a disgusting, despicable, garbage human.

does existence ever make you just... ache? 

i see and hear and know about so many atrocities and it’s just so overwhelming. how can people stand by as these things happen? how can people do these things? and i’m not just talking about things on the national, or global scale. how can people cheat on their partners? how can they stand to hurt someone like that? how can people be abusive? how do people rape and beat and murder others in cold blood? how do leaders turn a blind eye to the suffering of their people? how can a parent manipulate and abuse their child? 

how can anyone do anything horrible and not feel as if their brain is being ripped apart? how do their hearts not feel as if they’re being stretched to a snapping point and crushed all at the same time, when they hurt someone?

and at the same time,

i see and hear and know of such boundless love, such all-encompassing, unconditional adoration, and i know how i feel it for others, but i can’t possibly imagine someone feeling that way for me. and for this, i feel so arrogant. so self-absorbed. i’m ashamed at how sometimes i feel as if no one, never in the expanse of human existence, could ever feel these things as raw as i can. how only i bear the weight of the world, how only i feel as if all the suffering and weeping of the world is projected onto, into, my heart, and how my heart so often feels as if it’s combusting from all this.

i just... ache. i don’t know if i’m alone in this pain (i hope i’m not), but even the knowledge that those who experience emotions the way i do exist as well would not ease this burden, i think. 

Me rn

random things i hear pt 1

person 1: “what’s a quail?”

person 2: “a fish, you dumbass.”

I will never support people who romanticize young girls being in relationships with older men that shit is my worst trauma

matthew daddario as alec lightwood is the only fc for azriel i will not be taking any criticism

he’s got that previously neglected shelter dog rizz. he looks like he wants to quietly sit next to you on the couch while you watch TV