This ^^^

This ^^^

I have seen so many people misconstrue this part of Atsushi’s journey and not quite grasp this scene for what it really is. It’s great to see someone break it down a bit.

i want to talk about the moment that both made me fall in love with atsushi nakajima as a character, and which made me realize that I was probably going to get obsessed with BSD.

specifically, it was this moment.

I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,

words can not describe how important this moment was to me, and how vital this is to both atsushi as a character and his relationship with dazai as a whole.

as someone who is currently living with my abusive parents, this was something that resonated with me a lot — oftentimes, media when attempting to portray abuse (specifically parental abuse) and victims of abuse, does 1 out of 2 things:

1. Tries to justify the abuse and protect the parents — having the kids be okay with the treatment they recieved.

2. Has the kids utterly despise their parents with no shred of good feelings.

And whilst, sure, both of these can happen — and I'm sure there are victims who actually feel like this — it's not the most common response.

Speaking from my own experience — I don't know how to feel about my parents. If they died, I wouldn't know what face to make. I hate them more than anyone else, but at the same time, I grew up with them. I hate them, but I also love them. If they died, I don't know how I'd feel about it. And we get to see Atsushi having that exact breakdown — the elation over the person you hate dying, versus the grief and frustration and confusion. Abuse isn't simple, and feelings aren't simply — your abuser dying isn't something that's clean cut, it comes with a million different conflicting confusing emotions.

I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,

And the fact that Atsushi is allowed to have these feelings, is allowed to hate the headmaster, is allowed to grieve without forgiveness, is so important. BSD doesn't try to justify his abuse — it's okay to mourn someone that hurt you even if you don't like them. Their death — or their intentions — don't make forgiveness a necessity.

I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,

And even moreso, the fact that he gets explicitly told that regardless of the fact that that abuse was what molded him into the person he is today and has helped him survive, and the fact that the headmaster had good intentions, it was bad and unforgivable, is extremely important.

I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,
I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,

dazai not forcing atsushi to feel a certain way about his abuser, and encouraging him to mourn without forgiveness and to actually feel, is an incredibly important moment — i doubt that i'm only speaking for myself here when i say that when dealing with these subject matters, these are the types of things we'd like to hear.

the fact that dazai is the character telling atsushi this isn't lost on me, either — considering that earlier on this chapter, he sent ryuunosuke to tell atsushi about the headmaster, and they had this interaction:

I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,

everything about this is so fascinating and well written — from atsushi having an extremely realistic breakdown over the death of his abuser, to dazai telling him that he has zero obligation for forgiveness — and the implications that he's aware that what he's done to ryuunosuke is wrong regardless of intentions, is fascinating.

to me, atsushi nakajima has always felt human in a way most protagonists don't — his trauma impacts him, he has complex messy feelings that can't be easily resolved. it's his choice what to do with his emotions, and all others can do is give advice, and let him figure out how to deal with them.

atsushi nakajima crying over the man who simultaneously raised him and made his life a living hell is accurate in a way that almost hurts.

(slightly unrelated, but i sure was accurate with this prediction from a month ago, huh!)

I Want To Talk About The Moment That Both Made Me Fall In Love With Atsushi Nakajima As A Character,

More Posts from Pebblul and Others

7 months ago

i also wanted to say aroaces love chuuya too 🎀

I Also Wanted To Say Aroaces Love Chuuya Too 🎀

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3 months ago
He Struggles With Emotional Permanence Your Honor 😔
He Struggles With Emotional Permanence Your Honor 😔

He struggles with emotional permanence your honor 😔


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11 months ago

I’d be glad to have y’all

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone of any nationality and ethnicity.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone with a disability or disorder.

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone who has experienced or is experiencing trauma.

Reblog if your page is a safe space.

1 year ago

normies will call it a "scalp massage" instead of admitting that they like being pet like a puppydog or perhaps a kitty


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8 months ago

Genuinely, it’s so easy to see Sigma being tired of such big behind the scenes roles, even if it’s for the Agency.

Especially because the Agency seems to already have their fill of administration and support members. (The structure of that place is kind of a mess but it works very effectively.)

It would be nice to see Sigma go through the journey of trying to put himself into a place like that, only to realize that’s not he wants, and it’s not where he fits.

Being a part of a family doesn’t mean you have to be a member of their group or organization. The best families are the ones who let you choose the path that is best for you.

So then he ends up at the cafe, and is able to build his own life and identity in that space for the first time ever.

I don't want Sigma to become a detective, purely because I don't think that's what he wants either.

He wants the love, trust and care of the Agency, he wants the same bond Dazai has with the others. He's craving a home, a family, and the Agency is the first place he's seen have that.

But he's also highly strung and nervous, he doesn't seem to like being in combative and dangerous situations. Which being a detective would place him in. He does however seem to genuinely enjoy interacting with people and providing services for people.

He loved the sky casino and whilst the sheer size of his customer base overwhelmed him, he genuinely cared about that place and making people happy.

I think, if he does join the Agency, he should join it on the administrative side. He'd get to show off his organizational skills and he'd be helping people whilst staying out of action. He has great memory so going through case files and doing the behind the scenes research to aid the detectives out on the field would suit him well. He could also attend meetings with Fukuzawa, who hates having to talk business and help with the Agency's connections.

Alternatively, if he doesn't join the Agency, I think it would be fun if he also got a job at the cafe.

Again, I think he just enjoys customer service type roles and the owner has already adopted one stray in Lucy, why not another? Sigma and Lucy would be such a fun combo, I'd love to see them interacting with the Agency whenever they're in the cafe.


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7 months ago

Hey. Minors following me. Internet safety is key!! NEVER include these in your bio/byf:

Medical diagnoses - this is nobody's business but yours. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you are the way that you are

Trauma - same reason as above

Triggers - people can use these against you! Don't give people tools to hurt you. No one has to know what tags you block. Just block tags to stay safe!

Age - age is okay for adults to include but is iffy when you're a teen. Predators want this information, don't give people more than they need. Just state that you're a minor, that's all that anyone needs to know.

In general: stay safe. If you're not comfortable with every stranger out there having access to this information, you shouldn't post it on the internet.

Play devil's advocate and ask yourself about what would happen if someone searched for your information with intent to hurt you. You do NOT owe anyone an explanation!

1 year ago

I think drawing Albedo or Alhaithem would be cool and really suit your style, but Tighnari also has a very fun design <3

hi guys are there recommendations for genshin/honkai characters i should draw 😭 i havent played the games so i dont know any of them well enough but i want to draw some

7 months ago

im a fucking sucker for the “character gets so badly injured that they can’t think clearly and start calling for help in a distressingly vulnerable way.” characters who start using nicknames for their friends they haven’t used since they were kids. characters who start begging for their brother they haven’t seen in years to be there. characters who would usually use their parents’ names or call them mother/father/etc crying out mama when they go down. u understand.


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1 year ago

pro tip

ur friends don't hate you

nobody is secretly mad at you

you have anxiety and that's ok you are loved

9 months ago

Hello guys

I am Rozan Ayman Fathi, 24 years old

I ask you to read these lines and help me so that I can save my family

Consisting of 7 individuals

I live with my beloved family in the Gaza Strip, specifically in Gaza City. When the war began, we were displaced from our dear home and dearest to my heart to tents in the city of Rafah (we do not know whether it is still standing or whether it was demolished by bombings and shelling). We were always moving from one shelter to another seeking shelter. For protection, and when Rafah was invaded, we were displaced and moved again to tents in Mawasi Khan Yunis. We were very tired, especially my mother, as she is sick with diabetes and gallstones.

Life in a tent is torment, pain, and oppression, a life without the minimum necessities of life, where there is no bedding, no flooring, sand surrounds you from all sides, no sanitary facilities, no water, whether for bathing or cleaning, and no drinking water. There are no detergents. Canned food is scarce and of poor quality

We miss fresh food,

Very high temperatures inside and outside the tent

The spread of dangerous infectious diseases, insects, toxic organisms, and other difficult matters of life, in addition to the danger of bombing and death that lurks around us every minute..

Hello Guys
Donate to In you we hope to escape from the scourge of death and destr, organized by Ayman Fathi
gofundme.com
We are a family of seven people who are suffering from the sc… Ayman Fathi needs your support for In you we hope to escape from the scourge

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pebblul - pebblul
pebblul

they/them (I am a minor!!) Welcome to my personal blog where I mostly yap about BSD right now… I also like writing, world building, and media analysis tho!

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