I swear to god I need to read ops username
I was walking through the mall and I headed into a Barnes & Noble, and Barack Obama was for some reason signing books there so I walked up, like ???? He wrote a book? Some biography?? When I got up to the desk, all the books were just lizards, and Obama replied to my inquires with a simple, “They may have no names, but there’s an identity to be acknowledged,” and he smiled as he signed another lizard and then there was something about a surprise dragon and then I woke up.
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT GET YOUR VPN TODAY!!!
Farewell online privacy
watch you be the ceo
A technician pulls a headset off of you and asks you if you liked the VR. You panic, and he calmly says that your whole life was a 2 minute VR experience to show you what being an average person would be like. You, stunned and afraid, ask, “Who am I, then?” He stares in complete disbelief.
reblogging only for this master piece
A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec
I know, that’s a lot of information to swallow.
I would like to to correct the amharic translation. It is (Return my story and fill my mouth with bread)
ending a story in other languages
kurdish: “my story went to other homes, god bless the mothers and fathers of its listeners” (Çîroka min çû diyaran, rehmet li dê û bavê guhdaran.)
greek: “and they lived well, and we lived better” (και ζήσανε αυτοί καλά και εμείς καλύτερα)
afrikaans: “whistle whistle, the story is done” (fluit fluit, die storie is uit)
goemai: “my tale has finished, (it) has returned to go (and) come home.” (tamtis noe lat / dok ba muaan yi wa)
amharic: “return my story and feed me bread” (ተረቴን መልሱ አፌን በዳቦ አብሱ::)
bengali: “my story ends and the spinach is eaten by the goat” (aamaar kothati furolo; Notey gaachhti murolo) *means something is irreversibly ended because goats eats herbs from the root
norwegian: “snip snap snout, the tale is finished” (snipp snapp snute, så er eventyret ute”
polish: “and i was there [at the wedding] too, and drank mead and wine.” (a ja tam byłem, miód i wino piłem.)
georgian: “disaster there, feast here… bran there, flour here…” (ჭირი – იქა, ლხინი – აქა, ქატო – იქა, ფქვილი – აქა)
hungarian: “this is the end, run away with it” (itt a vége, fuss el véle)
turkish: “lastly, three apples fell from the sky; one for our story’s heroes, one for the person who told their tale, and one for those who listened and promise to share. And with that, they all achieved their hearts’ desires. Let us now step up and settle into their thrones.” (Gökten üç elma düşmüş; biri onların, biri anlatanın, diğeri de dinleyenlerin başına. Onlar ermiş muradına, biz çıkalım kerevetine.)