Oh Yes, Getting All The Ladies !

Me? A vegan? Oh honey no, I’m a vagitarian and I’ve got my sights set on my next meal.

Dwight Schrute Valentine’s cards

Me? A vegan? Oh honey no, I’m a vagitarian and I’ve got my sights set on my next meal.

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

I got a crush on a band chick and this happened

pick up line #11

i scream, you scream, but it’s not because we’re terrified ;)

did anyone ask for soil/farming themed shitty valentine’s cards? no. did I make them anyway? you bet.

pick up line #20

are you from korea? because i think you’re my seoul mate

Girl:*walks up to my crowded table* Hey guys, is there anywhere I can sit?

Me:*gives a small smirk* If you want you can sit on my lap, but I’m told my face is way more comfortable..

Group:*Whooping and shouting* OOOO! Oooo!!!

pick up line #6

roses are red violets are blue sugar i want to go down on you