Girl:*walks Up To My Crowded Table* Hey Guys, Is There Anywhere I Can Sit?

v day spam !!!

has this been done yet

“I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain. There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.”

- Source

did anyone ask for soil/farming themed shitty valentine’s cards? no. did I make them anyway? you bet.

are you a pokemon? cuz i want a pikachu

Me? A vegan? Oh honey no, I’m a vagitarian and I’ve got my sights set on my next meal.

Are you a mix of oxygen and potassium? Cause I think you’re O K

Kara can’t resist Lena’s pick up lines

I am totally going to use this from now on when I pick up women.

Me? A vegan? Oh honey no, I’m a vagitarian and I’ve got my sights set on my next meal.