While Looking Up 1950s Slang, I Found The Phrase “come On Snake, Let’s Rattle,” Which Has 2 Meanings:

Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

muggle 1: hey, do you ever hear from that kid in primary school with the weird name…hermione, that was it.

muggle 2: nah she kinda dropped off the radar a while back

muggle 2: weird thing though, her parents moved to australia for a bit and stopped talking about her

muggle 1: what?

muggle 2: yeah, like, my mum’s friends with her mum, and they just moved one day? hermione wasn’t with them, though, and they stopped mentioning her at all

muggle 1: didn’t she go to some fancy boarding school? i bet she’s, like, training to be a spy

muggle 2: dude, you’re so full of shit

Reasons charms class is my favourite:

1. The girl in the far left of the second row. She is perpetually confused, but one day my character will tutor her (and win her heart, she will be my girlfriend)

Also:

2. Watching the face of the blond behind me, seriously their expressions are always priceless!

*FLIPS TABLE*

GIVE ME GRYFFINDOR DRACO. GRYFFINDOR DRACO WHO GROWS UP BEING TOLD THAT HE DOESN’T BELONG IN HOUSE OF THE BRAVE AND CAN’T STAY IN THE COMMON ROOMS BECAUSE HE’LL BE DESTROYED, SO HE FREQUENTLY STAYS AS FAR AWAY FROM THE COMMON ROOMS, INCLUDING HIDING OUT AFTER CURFEW.

GIVE ME SLYTHERIN HARRY, WHO LEARNED THAT HE’D MAKE FRIENDS IN THE HOUSE OF THE SLY AND CUNNING. GIVE ME HARRY WHO IGNORES THE WHISPERS OF HIM BECOMING THE NEXT DARK LORD. GIVE ME HARRY WHO LEAVES THE COMMON ROOM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT’S TOO COLD.

GIVE ME RAVENCLAW RON, WHO FEELS WRONG, BECAUSE HE THINKS HE’S THE FARTHEST THING FROM SMART, WHO GETS LOCKED OUT OF HIS COMMON ROOM BECAUSE HE CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE PASSCODE.

GIVE ME HUFFLEPUFF HERMIONE, WHO CONSTANTLY LEAVES THE COMMON ROOM BECAUSE ITS MUCH TOO LOUD. WHO FIGHTS THE STEREOTYPE OF HUFFLEPUFFS BEING LEFTOVERS.

You still with me? Good because remember how I said they all stay out of their common rooms?

GIVE ME ALL FOUR MEETING AND BECOMING ACQUAINTANCES, THEN BEST FRIENDS.

Draco takes time to warm up to them, but slowly starts losing that prejudice(through a lot of corrections from Ron and Harry sometimes Hermione).

Give me them becoming friends and starting house unity.

Give me Draco bashing someone in the face for calling Hermione mudblood.

Give me Harry ruining someone’s status for making fun of Ron’s family.

Give me Hermione chewing someone out for calling Draco a carbon copy of his father.

Give me Ron asking his Fred and George to prank someone bad for starting rumors about Harry.

Give me all of them being protective of each other because they’re the only family they’ve got here.

Teacher: Excuse you, the lesson isn’t over. Where do you think you’re going?

Me: Sorry, Professor, I ran out of energy trying to glare at my nemisis and now I have to go throw a stick for the dog outside to gain even a fraction of it back.

family dinners

draco: oh grow up POTTER

harry: you’re an annoying little git aren’t you

draco: why you—

ron, to his concerned family: you’d think they hated each other, but they’re actually engaged. crazy fools, they are

hermione, sipping hot chocolate: it’s best to leave them to it…biscuits anyone?

Can I propose to you a new Harry Potter? One raised by Sirius and Remus, one who shared his father’s Indian heritage, who wears leather jackets and denim over hoodies, who shops second hand and uses magic or just old fashioned dyes, paints and a needle to make them new again, who has long curly hair and pins it up with his wand like is godfather, who can do magic without his wand with Hermione’s help long before deathly hallows, who bonds with Hermione over the sheer amount of hair care products they have weighing down their luggage, who makes friendship braclets with Luna and they start a band together as they bond over punk shit. One who isn’t afraid of Draco but instead spends a lot of time trying to help him. Whose little brother Teddy was born through a surrogate in the order, and every time Harry comes home on holiday he brings the kid some new punk CD or candy or some prank stuff from the weasley’s joke shop. Who probably gave himself a lightening bolt stick and poke after his scar faded to go along with the one of the two deer he gave himself in second year. He probably also gave Ron a stick and poke too, and a few other members of gryffindor tower. Neville probably has a phoebe buffay tattoo from that time.

dragged myself kicking and screaming out of this art block with a big friendly ‘fuck you’ to canon