These Are Literally The Only Villain Redemption Arcs That Are Good, So If You’re A Writer, Take Notes:

Harry hadn’t actually meant it when he told Draco that “he should try not getting arrested every few weeks.” At the time maybe he had, but Harry had grown antsy over the past few weeks.

Things had been quiet. Too quiet.

“You’d like to what?” the Head of the Aurours department asked.

“I’d like to conduct a search for Draco Malfoy,” Harry replied. Ron stood at his side looking unimpressed. Search missions required back up by law, and Harry had managed to convince a reluctant Ron to be his.

“He’s not going to give this up,” Ron pointed out.

“You know what, fine. Fine. But make it quick.”

____

Harry found Draco in the basement of Fangtasia brooding at 11am on a Thursday.

“You’re not wearing the necklace,” Draco pouted.

“That thing was bloody hideous Malfoy,” Ron said defending his friend. Draco actually looked almost offended.

“Come on Draco we both know that you usually have much better taste,” Harry said as gently as he could. Draco had clearly been struggling ever since he’d become a vampire, and as amusing as it was to watch, Harry wanted Draco to accept himself and find happiness...preferably with Harry.

“I knew you liked the leather,” Draco said proudly gesturing to his current outfit. Harry just shook his head and decided not to start this arguement.

“Draco are you okay?” Harry asked. The basement was windowless, but well lit. Draco sat at the head of a long table filled with unoccupied seats.

“None of them came,” Draco said looking at the empty seats around him with dismay.

“None of who came?” Harry asked.

“I tried to construct a founders council, and invited all the prominent Vampire families, but no one showed up,” Draco sulked. Harry nudged Ron before the boy could start laughing.

Harry was prepared for this. Harry had researched the Vampire Diaries when he’d realized Draco’s habit of picking up the identies of famous fictional vampires.

Harry spent the rest of the day making calls with Draco. They ended up enlisting Luna’s help and instead created a council of influential magical minorities.

Harry hopes that this was a good substitute for the support groups Draco had opted out of having. But wasn’t surprised when Draco ended up back in his office a week later.

Vampire Draco XD

LISTEN YOU… I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WRITING THIS GOD DAMMIT! Tagging @violetclarity for inciting shit too. :D

Word count: 200

Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for what felt like the 20th time this month. Today was supposed to be a normal day, his day for paperwork and non-magical nonsense. So when his eyes fell on Draco, sitting as casually as possible in Harry’s office chair, Harry knew his day was done.

“What did you do this time?” Harry sighed, waving his hands in a way that indicated Draco should get the fuck out of his chair.

“I asked a wizard if he knew what I was….”

Harry looked at Draco quizzically. “What’s wrong with that?”

Draco sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a handful of glitter. Harry stared, already knowing where this was going but really hoping it wasn’t.

“Draco… Please tell me you didn’t.”

“….I did.”

Harry let his head fall to his desk, hands pulling out his hair in hard tugs.

“But- But, just listen! It was going great, I was broody and reciting poetry. He was totally hooked.”

“And then…?”

“And then I threw glitter in his face.”

“Draco, what the actual fuck? That’s not even… The vampire in that book fucking actually sparkles. Like “diamonds”… He doesn’t throw sparkles.“

“Oooooh….”

James: Hey Remus I need some advice-

Remus, immediately: Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to add, you measure that shit with your heart

James: Right, Okay…. See I actually had something else in mind..

draco malfoy: i’ll take my secret love of potter to the grave

the grave: *beckons*

draco: POTTER

thank you to @dddraconis for the idea to do ‘dark twist on the little mermaid’ w/malfoy losing his gay ass voice <3

You’re in a Zoom meeting, Harry

Harry: Draaaa-cooo?... Have you got any spare pain potions?

Draco: *Squinting suspiciously* ... Why?

Harry: My leg hurts...

Draco:

Draco: So what you're telling me-

Harry: Here we go-

Draco: -Is that when I said that trying to skateboard like a muggle, with no practice, on concrete-

Harry: It was asphalt-

Draco: Was a bad idea...

Harry: It was something I'd always wanted to do as a child!

Draco: And then not take anything after you inevitably crashed and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor-

Harry: It wasn't that bad!

Draco: And that it would hurt later-

Harry: It didn't feel too bad at the time!

Draco: I was right!

Harry:

Harry: Look, I'm sorry, alright? What do you want from me?!

Draco: *Grinning smugly* Nothing, darling. Nothing at all!

my favorite kind of fanfics are “canon divergence” because it’s always like handing back a reviewed essay with comments like “I enjoyed the strong beginning but here is where you lost me, I’ve made some notes”

remember in goblet of fire when minerva says ‘potter’s a boy, not a piece of meat!’

imagine harry telling her everything after the battle of hogwarts, telling her about how dumbledore raised him like a pig for slaughter, and how he had to die and mcgonagall gets so goddamned mad

she loses control for the first time that harry’s EVER seen and she’s actually yelling, she’s so pissed that harry was seventeen and he had to accept death and dumbledore KNEW he would have to die and NEVER TOLD HIM

and harry’s about to cry because yeah his friends would be devastated if he was gone but NO ONE got this damn pissed that dumbledore had raised him so that he could die at the right time and mcgonagall’s in the middle of a rant and he just shoots up and hugs her and she’s stunned into silence but after a moment she hugs back and it’s great

and then she goes up to her office and starts screaming at dumbledore’s portrait because ‘i don’t care if it had to happen, albus, he is a CHILD-’

okay but /listen/ the one thing this fandom doesn’t have nearly enough of is headcanons surrounding the gryffindor boys dorm in harry’s year

like,,,, harry, ron, dean, seamus, and neville… there’s so much potential for wonderful, wonderful headcanons and i feel like we really don’t explore that enough

that i sometimes forgot what hating myself felt like. [insp.]

harry: CAN YOU NOT

draco: what

harry: MAKE STUPID LITTLE PAPER CRANES LIKE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH ME

draco: have you looked inside those cranes?

harry: no *opens paper crane* *sees an animated harry and draco holding hands with love* *opens more* *there is one where they kiss*

draco:

harry: oh