This Is A Perfect Description

When you paint a room, you are making it slightly smaller

A new daddy friend

Daddy: Princess, I'd like you to meet my friend.

Me: *looks up from my coloring book* It's nice to meet you!

Daddy: Those aren't very good manners, stand up and say hello properly.

Me: *bottom lip curls down into a pout and looks back at my crayons* Yes si-

Daddy's friend: Aw now, it's okay. She's obviously very busy. Can I see what you're working on?

Me: *all smiles again* Yes! It's ponies!*holds up my picture*

Daddy: *laughs and shakes his head* Come on man, you're gonna have to build up an immunity to pouty face if you want to be a daddy.

Daddy's friend: Dude. There's literally no way. That shit's kryptonite.

Me: *tugs on daddy's friend's pant leg* Excuse me!

Daddy's friend: *crouches down* What's up buttercup?

Me: You said a bad word. You have to sit on the pink stool over there until Daddy says you can play again.

Daddy's friend: *facepalm*

Daddy: *choking back laughter* You sure you want this to be your life?

The irony

What would your Zodiac sign would say? Find out here

We landed on the moon 20 years before we figured out how to invent dial-up internet.

Little baby

Fennec Fox by asbimages.co.uk

Read more about your Zodiac sign here

Bad Trump! Bad.

Gotham City Sirens Minimalistic