How Would One Skip Rocks

I think I saw an advert a while back for bake off: the professionals which completely misses the point but if you're going to do it then:

•no eliminations. Ever. All contestents get through to the end

•no professional judges. Their food is presented to random people on the street or a massive open picnic is held and people get to vote what their favourite dish is

•if they want more masterchef vibes they can have their work experience in a soup kitchen or something

Saying this an Elia Martell fan from what little we know of her, but I'm really sick of how fandom sees her as nothing but a perpetual victim and/or hater of Lyanna and Rhaegar. Where's fandom content of her being kind to baby Tyrion or headcanons of her plotting with Rhaegar against Aerys? Makes me wish GRRM would write more Fire and Blood books to flesh her out more outside of the "pretty victim" fanon Sansa stans want her to be.

It's actually so frustrating cause there are great conversations + theorizing that could be going on surrounding her character because we know we're going to be learning more about her in the future, but a lot of her "fans" are just stuck on using her as a prop. And honestly? That's because the more we learn about her, the more she moves away from being fandom's favorite passive self-insert character. If George has her doing anything it breaks their idea of her being the perfect victim which is what they love about her. They don't even like her character organically, they just like that it gives them a justification to hate Rhaegar and/or Lyanna. I'm personally neutral-positive about Elia, but I am very interested in learning more about her character. George has kept that portion of the story intentionally vague for a reason and I can't wait to see why.

via almatinets.kz/IG

I want to see a fic wherein Harry’s animagus form is a basilisk. No, not that basilisk. I mean this thing:

Basiliscus basiliscus, the common basilisk. Also known as the Jesus Christ lizard for its ability to run across water. 

I mean, think about it. It’s essentially just a normal, mostly overlooked animal, except for this one quality that causes it to be named a “saviour”. The irony would be delicious.

Also, imagine if/when Harry has to talk about it in public:

“My animagus form is a basilisk –” Screams, accusations, and shouted questions drowned out whatever Harry might have said next. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes, resigned to the uproar. 

Hermione waved her wand and cast calming and silencing charms. Ron rolled his eyes and just let off several loud firecrackers. Slowly, the panic subsided and the hall was quiet once more.

“Thank you,” Harry said dryly to his friends. He turned back to the audience. “My animagus form is a basilisk,” he repeated. “No, not the gigantic snake with the deadly and/or petrifying eyes and potent venom that I stabbed in my second year. It’s a lizard. A tiny lizard with a long tail that lives in the rainforest and can run really fast …”

[a few hours later]

“Honestly,” Hermione sighed. “You’d think they’d remember that animagus forms can’t be magical creatures.”

“Yeah, but he’s Harry Potter,” Ron put in, grinning. “Even if they knew that beforehand, they’ll make an exception for the Chosen One.”

Harry groaned and dropped his head on the table. “I hate you both.”

A Hand-Muppet Great Potoo Getting Snacks

Sleeeeeeeeppppppppp

Bone Spaghetti.

Mood

2 and 5 are cursed