Something, Something, König Picking Up Gaming In His Free Time, Not Uncommon For An Older Guy Especially

The thing about method acting is everyone talks about that joker guy being a dick or whatever but no one ever talks about Viggo Mortensen in the lord of the rings sleeping in the horse stables and leading the entire cast on random adventures

Every time I think I’m out of my lotr phase I hear the beginning of the bridge of kazhad dum and immediately get thrown back into the trenches

Aragorn “I’d rather unalive myself than be King” Elessar:

-volunteered to help walk the One Ring to Mordor

-chased an entire battalion of orcs for weeks with just his two (2) besties

-fully intended to die defending Helm’s Deep

-fully intended to die recruiting the dead army

-fully intended to die in a “diversion maneuver” to help Frodo

Only when all of these failed did he finally say alright FINE. Promote me I guess. Ugh.

Tolkien at the start of the Hobbit: oh I’m going to tell a fun little story for my children about how even the smallest people can make a difference!

Tolkien at the end of the Hobbit, gripping his son’s shoulders intensely: Chris. Christopher. Listen.  Greed will only corrupt you Christopher, it will twist your mind like a poison, like a disease, until you are nothing but a hollow wreck of what you once were.  Also I’ve killed off like half the characters in a battle I don’t even show sorry. 

Hello! I am back and I have more headcannons. So yay! We have some more fluffy headcannons to apolagize for the other ones! I am opening the ask box if anyone wants to request something

Anyway!

How tf141 would comfort you/help you after a hell week <3

Soap would definitely be a bit overbearing, but still very helpful and comforting. My man has been prepped for just such an occasion for months. Despite being loud and generally rambunctious, he would definently tone it down or leave you alone entirely if that's what you needed. However! If you need a distraction, he is ready and primed with a whole yap fest about his latest fixation. If somehow your comfort food and snacks is out, you best believe is is running to the nearest store to buy some. Favorite blanket? Freshly washed and warm from the dryer. Comfort show already on the tv. And from advice from his Ma and sisters, all the chores and errands are already done. "Just let me take care of ye, alright?"

Price is internally panicking. He does not want to neglect you. At all. As such, maybe a bit overbearing. Very hands on, I think. Massaging whatever aches, his hands slightly rough but incredibly warm. Has a bath prepped, full of bubbles and your favorite bath bomb. Bought a few asthetic little lamps just so you could relax without the big light on. This man cooks too. Your favorite meal ready by the time you came out. And if it was a food unfamiliar to him, or a family recipie? Don't worry, he's been practicing for weeks. Sneaky bastard. Suprises you by doing a little task around the house that you've been meaning to do but have been putting off.

Ghost. Oh my poor boy. Doesn't know what to do. At all. Or, at least he thinks he doesn't. But he does order in your takeout. Shuts up until you tell him to say something because he knows how too much noise gets on his nerves when he's spread too thin. Gives you his hoodie, still warm from his skin. He puts on your preferred show, and lets you use him as a stressball. Let's you get all of your aggression out on him. Afterall, "I can take it luvie."

Gaz is determined to make you feel better by the end of the night. Like Soap, he also gets the chores and errands done. Doesn't mind one bit if you ask him for some alone time. Uses his time out of the house to buy you some flowers, your favorite little treat; pastry, drink or candy. Picks up take-away on his way home too. He's the one to drag you out of the house on a walk, claiming that it'll make you feel better. Listens to you rant about what's wrong the entire time. Definitely one to ask "you want solutions, or do you just want me to listen?"

obsessed with the idea of onlyfans model! reader x Simon

Maybe you’re one of the biggest creators on the platform and you’re very well known after doing it for a few years. Except, you only do solo content, despite your peers constantly asking to collab or getting requests from fans to see you getting fucked.

Then, one day you post a video showing off some new panties and Simon’s tattooed and scarred hand just appears, squeezing the meat of your ass, claiming and possessive. A subtle message he’s sending to your audience as he spreads your cheeks apart, sliding your panties to the side and shows off your pretty pussy dripping with his cum.

the beauty of in-laws <3333

aaand bonus silly fili and kili

I need bratty sergeant and Simon Riley smut (im sorry if this is too blunt and also you don’t have to do this, okay ily)

"if you don't shut it, i'll shut it for you" / one-shot -> bratty!sergeant x simon riley [3] (can be read independently) part one - part two

⠀ ⠀⠀ `· . dead-flight .ᐟ masterlist -> REQUESTS OPEN!

cw: smut smut smut, oral (simon recieving), fingering (r), edging, overstim, rough sex, helicopter-fuckin', "pup", consentual sex!!!, fingers in mouth, one face slap, "slut" x1, p in v, creampie

he's fucking tired, the lot of his muscles aching with a deep, cloying need. he wanted to collapse on his barrack and dissapear for a week. the helicopter rumbles with sound as he sits on a jumpseat, closing his eyes to lean his head back against the walls.

"Lt!" his eyes open, and he swears, if he hears your voice again, he's about to pick you up and throw you off the fuckin' chopper.

"did you see that shot i lined up? wasn't that so cool--"

"sergeant. if y'don't shut y'reself up, i'll stuff y'r mouth myself," simon mutters, and if looks could kill, you may as well be on the ground, bleeding out.

you pause for a second, and then start right back up, moving to sit right beside him, prattling on and on about the mission, about your plans when you get home--

then you went and leaned over. just close enough to check if he was really listening. you barely even noticed what you were doing, but he did. tits pressed against him, your head craning to see if he was actually paying attention.

"sergeant, what the hell did i tell you?"

you freeze. are you actually in trouble, this time? the rest of the ride is filled with a tense silence, and you stare at him awkwardly, giving him big, apologetic eyes every time he looks at you.

how can you blame him for acting the way he is? pent up to hell, cock clubbed up in his pants, straining needily against the fabric? he nearly dealt with it the moment you landed. he wanted to shut you up, and wanted to see you cry when he did.

"so fuckin' loud," he huffs under his breath, and the moment the rest of the squad leaves the helicopter, simon takes the opportunity to grab you as you're leaving, forcing you back into a jumpseat and slamming the door closed.

the moment your back hits the jumpseat, you should've known you were fucked. "you just don't stop talking, do you, sergeant? like a ditzy, dumb f'ckin' pup."

he stands over you, his hand tugging your chin upwards, "what'd i say? that if you ran your mouth, i'd shut you up, yeah? i just fuckin' might."

your breath quickens, and you dig your fingers into his forearm, trying to pull him off, "sir--m' sorry, won't talk as much--" here you were, thinking he was going to sentence you to a thousand pushups and a hundred laps around base, but simon had other ideas.

"shut up." he stuffs his thumb into your mouth, pressing the digit down against your tongue.

you let out a strangled choking sound, blinking up at him in surprise. "god, m' gonna stuff your fuckin' mouth..." his eyes are dark, heavily lidded, and as you search past the mask, you note the lust taking over the forefront of his mind. "nod, lass, if y'want me to. i don't wanna hear words 'less you want me to stop."

you manage a nod. he gives you a nod of approval, his thumb dragging out of your mouth, smearing your saliva on your cheek. "fuckin' good pup."

his gloved hands pull at his plate carrier, tugging it off and dropping it on the seat opposite to you, shedding his headgear with it. he rolls his shoulders, grunting as he tugs off his shirt, leaving him in a tight, compression undershirt. you watch him like you're starved, taking in every contour of his muscles. he sheds his gloves too, tosses them to the jumpseat.

"like what y'see?" he teases, moving close, grabbing you by your hair, fingers digging into the strands. his free hand tugs down the zipper of his pants, reaching into his boxers and freeing his cock. it's heavy in his hand, flushed tip already drooling precum.

you blink up at him, eyes pleading silently, "sir, please, can i--"

his hand comes down on your cheek. "what'd i say, sergeant? shut up."

he's pulling your hair back, guiding you to open your mouth, and you do, his hips easing forward, the tip of his cock spreading your mouth open around his shaft. "suck, sergeant," he hisses, biting his tongue as you do.

you do. and fuck him, he's not touched himself for a damn long time. your lips seal around him like you're trying to milk him dry, your tongue flicking over his slit, sucking up precum and moaning while you do it--he almost cums right then and there.

"fuck'n hell, lass, you're..." he tightens his grip on your head, pulling you away, his chest heaving, "fuck."

"strip f'me, doll. wanna see y'spread out f'me, yeah?" he watches you, and it's not meant to be sexy, it's messy, how you tug your clothes off desperately, wanting to feel him against you. that desperation makes warmth pool in his gut.

he stops you when you're in your bra, your panties, nude coloured undergarments. but it makes some part of him scream. he kneels before you, eyes trained on your cunt.

"gonna be good f'me?" he's shoving your panties to the side, his thumb pressing to your swollen clit, satisfaction reflected in his eyes as your hips jump forwards needily. the way he speaks to you--speaks to your pussy--as if you aren't even part of the conversation has you leaking.

he smears your juices across your folds, twisting his hand to push a meaty finger in you, massaging your velvety walls, and he moans, his free hand digging into the skin of your hip, "fuck, doll, you're so f'ckin tight f'me."

all you give him is a series of choked moans, a breathy "please, please, please," and a tight squeeze of you around his fingers.

"so wet, i could slide right in, huh?"

it was like being pulled apart and stitched back together, as he curls his fingers deep against your gummy walls, drawing you right there. so close, if only a hair's breadth from falling apart--

he pulls away.

"fuck, simon!" you whine, your eyes welling with tears, "please, please..."

"no," he mutters, slapping your soaking pussy, a sadistic grin falling over his face as he watches how your hips jolt upwards, seeking more. his hand moves to pull off his balaclava, and before you can gawk at his face, he leans up, kissing you--the action is gentler than before, his tongue sweeping your mouth and claiming.

when he pulls away, he's panting, his hand moving to grip his hard shaft, fisting it, pushing against your thigh. "fuckin' hell." he lets go of his cock, pulling you up and holding you up over his cock, lowering you down. one hand holds you, wraps around your waist like you're weightless, the other guiding his cock past your tight entrance.

"tight as hell, sergeant. who knew y'r bratty mouth could be shut up so easily by a good fuckin'?"

he lowers you down slowly. just enough to keep you clenching desperately as you try to ease more of him in, to accomodate more--the burn is deliciously pleasurable. when you ease all of him in, he moans into your ear, his teeth moving to suckle at your neck.

he pounds into you, ferally. lifts you up, drops you down over his cock, your combined fluids dripping down his shaft and falling to the floor.

"fuck, gonna make me cum, this fuckin' cunt... s'pretty f'me, drippin' so much..."

you moan, squeezing harshly down on him, clenching, his fingers digging into your hip hard enough to leave marks. he buries his head in your neck, bites down on your skin like he'll leave a mark, muffling his noises.

"you keep clenchin' on me like that n' i'm gonna--" you're mewling, drooling against him, fingers tugging at his messy hair. he's wanted you like this for the longest time, spread out for him and at his mercy... suddenly the hours of torture of you teasing him is all worth it.

but you're so on edge, from his denial of your orgasm, that when he bullies his cock right against that spot in your walls, you're clenching down on him, digging your fingers into his trapezius and throwing your head back. you're a wreck, but simon's not done.

keeps you bouncing on him, and he's just so close, spurred on by your spasming walls and desperate whimpers. "mmh, fuck, who'dve known that such a fuckin' bratty little slut 's just a needy fuckin' bird," his voice is hoarse, stuttered by grunts as he uses you like a toy.

"fuck'm coming, take--take it all," he manages, pulling you flush against him, your hips right against his pelvis as he pumps his load deep inside you, filling you up. like he owned you.

for once, you were quiet. but now that you know you can get him to behave like this? you won't be quiet for long.

If I see another “Batman thinks he saved his kids, but really he destroyed them” or any iteration of him purposefully making the robins and co child soldiers I’m going to lose my mind.

LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN CAREFULLY: these fucking kids would have found a way, one way or another to cause havoc on the criminals of Gotham with or without the care and training of Batman.

Remember, these kids could have stopped at any point, all they had to do was say so but no. After every traumatic event, after every fight with Bruce, after every death/almost death…they still put on their cowls and fought crime.

Let’s not forget the roots of these characters:

Dick: wanted to kill Tony Zucco

Barbara: Wanted to save Gotham like her father, ended up saving Bruce Wayne, then continued to play hero in spite of Batman telling her not to

Jason: ballsy street kid

Tim: stalked and negotiated his way into being Robin

Steph: went out on her own to stop her criminal father, legit ‘spoil’ his plans

Cassandra: born and raised weapon

Damian: born and raised weapon, thought being Robin was his born given right

Duke: willingly joined the ‘We Are Robin’ movement to fight for Gotham

What are you guys not getting? This information of how each kid becomes a vigilante is free…you don’t even have to read a comic, just look it up on wikis.

That is all, good day

he was waiting for his goth bf to pick him up