Fallen Star

I'd also want to meet my male version.. I wonder what my male version is like or how he looks like

Btw, which one did you pick in the "would you rather" I sent you?

-👻

I picked the teleporting I believe I think telporting is cooler cuz if I ever spoke to past me idk be like " bro tell you mama to go on birth control"

NOO

I WILL SURVIVE BUT NEVER RECOVER

summary :batfam enjoy each other's presence while Alfred and Bruce silently mourns your death.

part 1 of die young

before you read !!

AWARNESS - info

- since 2015 , school shootings in the U.S has significantly skyrocketed in comparison to every other decade .

- according to the NCES (National Centre for Education Statistics) during 2020 - 21, there was 93 school shootings , resulting in 43 deaths & 50 injuries.

- there was 332 shooting incidents that occurred in k-12 schools in 2024 , this incident resulted in 267 injuries & fatalities.

- active school shootings typically occur in high-school - about 61.8% .

- many parents grieve the lost of their child , many never recover and end up living their life miserably . This is encouragement to help stop school shootings to prevent innocent children from dying.

Bruce stands in the manor's foyer , his face is maimed with bruises and has grime stuck on it . One hand clutches his bat mask tightly as he stared into the darkness encompassing the long hallway before him. His chest plate is battered , its bat symbol is no longer recognizable , his once pristine cape is now tattered with bullet holes .

He looks so dead - and he feels it , he feels the emptiness. He alone went on patrol tonight , his children did argue - offered to join him tonight, but he declined, and some stubbornly disregarded his declination and attempted to go anyways, but Lord thank Alfred stopping them. Only the two of them understood why he had to go tonight.

They shouldn't have to see how brutal he was tonight - none of them should - none of them should have to witness how he practically almost brutalized some goon for pointing a gun at him - that the sight of that oh so familiar gun brought back memories of him cradling your mutilated body that dreaded day. Or the way he threw rational to the wind as he chased after two face like a mad man for an hour only to dump him in front of blackgate like the scum he was.

He trudges through the darkness of the manor - embraces the quietness and darkness as he slums his tired body against the dining table where his cold dinner sat. He feels bile rising in his throat when he realizes it was placed in front of the same chair you used to always eat in.

He falls to his knees - tears brimming as the memory of your happy small self feeding your plushy a cookie in that same seat. He can practically hear your giggles and the familiar sound of the chair wobbling as you swung your little feet back and forth.

He blinks - and the memory is gone - you are gone - no longer in front of him. He shuffles back on his feet frantically, and like a scared man, he runs away because that was too real - it felt too real - it felt like you were there - like you were home again.

He stumbles up the stairs, and his feet carry him down a familiar route . Even now - when his body is in overdrive - in a panic state - his body still takes him back to you . He stands in front of a familiar door . Yours.

It's lower half is covered in sparkly stickers and a doodled portrait of three stick figures holding hands sticks out. His hands practically shake violently as he pushes open your door .

You stand in front of him , you're wearing the same dress from that day , your hair is styled in the same pig tails he put them and your pink backpack is slung on your shoulders the same way Alfred dropped you off in. You look at him and beamed, " Hello daddy !!" You exclaimed as you embraced his legs - too short to reach his waist.

Bruce doesn't hesitate to crouch down and hug you back , arms encasing you like the precious jewel you were . He feels you snuggling into him like you always did . He pulls you in tighter, and the feel of your familiar warmth and the scent of vanilla perfume fills him.

His heart is beating a mile a minute as he savors everything , " Sweetheart, you're okay !" He exclaims happily as he observes you . He has to force his head to crane back to look at your snuggled up form. Your cute little self turns to him confused , " Why won't I be okay, Daddy ?" You questioned with a tilt of a head as you looked at him.

Bruce blinks and you were gone . He looks down at himself to only reveal his exhausted body slumped to the floor - the same way he did that night when he grieved that night and it's then he starts to choke on his sobs.

How cruel- how dare life torture him like this ? He chokes on his tears even more as he looks around your room - frantically as if to prove to himself you're still here and that was just a nightmare .

It's empty- despite all the stuffed animals , the scattered toys strewn about , the walls filled with your favorite books to pictures and drawings. There , in the middle of your room laid an empty bed - deprived of the usual light of your nightlight you always put on before bed and most important- deprived of your sleepy figure cuddling the mountain of plushies.

Everything is still left untouched since that day they lost you . He feels a drop in the pit of his stomach as he does a once over of your room - you aren't here yet that felt too real - you sounded to real - too alive to be gone .

He forces himself to stand and close your room - he knows Alfred would have his head if he didn't - the old man considers your room as a place of sanctuary - something that had to be preserved and Bruce would never argue with him because he to believes it as sacred himself.

He forces himself to trudge up the hallway towards his own room and open his door . He looks down the hallway one more time - hoping to see you come running after him with your plushy in hand to ask him to read to you or maybe tuck you in.

He waited for a long time, and he was only greeted by cold looming darkness. He wipes away any more brimming tears before he enters his room - only once the door is shut and he collapses on his bed does he allow himself to succumb to his emptiness.

The golden rays adorned the manor angelically , everyone is wide awake and present at the table . Alfred distracts himself from the temptation to drown himself in his own misery with alcohol but chooses to fuss over the children instead.

He feels numb - he feels angry - he feels everything but nothing at the same time . He masks his irritation by choosing to focus on scrambling Bruce's eggs. He won't tell anyone - not even Bruce that the sight of cold dinner sat in front of the chair you used to sit in every morning and evening to eat irked him -

It felt like a sick cruel joke from God as he mocked - no egged him of your absence. He would never tell anyone how he stood there - eyeing that dinner and that chair as he cried his eyes out before he mustered whatever courage he had left to pick it up and throw it promptly in the trash.

He supposed one of the kids innocently placed it there for Bruce last night - something you would definitely do - because you were just that kind and sweet of a person.

Alfred forces himself to breathe when the smell of burnt toast meets his nostrils. He regains his composure and swiftly throws the toast in the bin before restarting.

Bruce enters the dining room - face a bit somber and dull. Bruce has to internally pray that none of his children questions why - he doesn't know what he'd do if he was to be subjected to another interrogation. He slips into his seat , making sure not to eye the familiar , empty seat next to him because he knows if he only does he'd simply break down.

His children immediately filled the sullen air with their happy chatter. He watches in silence, as Jason and Damian fight one another over waffles , Dick and Tim are discussing a movie they want to see , the girls are talking with Duke about some drama with a classmate they knew apparently.

Alfred stands behind him and set his breakfast , "Morning Master Bruce" he greets. " Morning Alfred," he greets back . Bruce detects the lack of 'good' in Alfred's greeting - though Bruce understands why since if it truly were a good morning you would of been here with them.

" Hey B do you want to join us in a shooting range this evening ?" Dick asks - breaking the silence. Bruce felt his world still around him - in the background - you can hear the sound of clattering utensils as Alfred drops whatever he was doing at the sudden inquiry.

Bruce feels himself hyperventilating at the thought of any of his children near that devilish thing called a gun. He's lost too damn much to it - so for the sheer audacity of Dick to suggest this - feels like a cruel joke. He feels the world consuming him as he merely glances at the empty chair next to him and there - a memory of you eating pancakes while singing replays in front of him . This one was the last morning - the last breakfast him and Alfred had with you.

You look at him and flash your innocent smile at him , " Do you want a pancake papa ?" You ask as you held up a pancake towards him. Bruce has to force his eyes to blink before he loses himself and starts to break down.

Your figure disappears once again and then Bruce turns towards Dick , face void of any emotion. Seeing you once again only finalizes his decision , " No and you aren't going there" Bruce says firmly. Everyone at the table stills and looks at him - defiantly. " What the fuck Bruce it's a shooting range it's not that serious" Jason says . " Exactly father if you don't want to join us just say so" Damian says matter of fact.

Bruce feels his blood freeze. " I said no, and not one of you is going " he says firmly - his eyes narrowing as he stares at each one of them. Everyone looks at him - an unspoken defiance and challenge.

" Fine be that way B ," Dick says - fustrated that Bruce had to shut down a family bonding moment. Alfred approaches the table , his face is void of any emotion as well, eyes distant as he pours everyone a class of marmalade .

" I advise you listen to your father young masters" he says finally. Jason practically rolls his eyes and pushes his chair back , " Not when he's being such an asshole Alfred" Jason quips before leaving. The girls and Duke follow him suit - disappointed at the outcome of this morning as they too were excited to go let off steam .

Tim rocks back in his chair before shaking his head in disappointment as he stares at Bruce, him and Dick finally got up and left, storming off elsewhere. Damian was the last to leave - ensuring he glared at his father . Bruce met his glare- equally defiant as he watches his son storm pass him - not before shoving the empty chair back into the table.

Alfred immediately launches forward to brace the chair's impact against the table . Bruce sits there , head hung low as he stared at your chair longingly.

" Oh sweet heart daddy doesn't know what to do anymore "

like + share + comment pls !!

thank you for reading hope you have a good day!

Taglist :@itsmossy @sugarrush-blush @shirp-collector-of-fixations @anteroz @cxcilla @shynerdtriumph @amber-content @azulesworld

I was in a silky angsty mood

DIE YOUNG

summary : batfam enjoy each other's presence while Alfred and Bruce silently mourns your death.

part 2 of die young

Dick sit's down and eyes his family with a warm smile as he looks at his siblings with a loving look - they've all came so far and they all deserved this moment of blissful peace . He observes Tim and Damian engrossed in some random videogame , duke was painting steph's nails while she shows him random memes on her phone while jason and cass are talking about the latest anime they watched .

Everyone is happy , including himself because he's back home , surrounded with the people he holds so dear to his heart. Alfred approaches him with a fresh pan of brownies . Dick quickly snatches three portions and flash Alfred a smile , " Thanks Alfie !!" he exclaims . Alfred nods and rest the pan on a nearby table . " Hey Alfred when is Bruce coming back ?" Jason randomly asks . Alfred glances at his watch , " In approximatly one hour Master " . Jason groans. " That's so longggg besides why is he always disappearing off these days ?"

Alfred takes a moment to compose himself - he desperately tries to swallow the underlying pain he feels bubbling inside before he answers , " He always has board meetings around this time Master " , his tone wavering in the slightest yet unnoticeable. Jason rolls his eyes - annoyed but understanding and was about to retort but gets distracted when Cass shows him something on her phone.

Alfred excuses himself and makes a beeline escape to the outside patio . In the quiet stillness of the manor , when the eloquent halls are empty , when the kids are enveloped in their own innocent warmth , Alfred takes his time to shed a silent lone tear as he grieves . God knows , knows that every night when his worn palms are intertwined as he mutters a silent pray - that he's praying that your soul is safe and happy wherever it is - that your watching over him and this family with your silly smile and wrapping them in your soft , delicate hugs as you shield them away from the evil that tore you apart from them.

Meanwhile Bruce sits in his office chair - the room dark and quiet save for the occasional hum of the AC . His workers long since left hours ago , his work long finished and laid discarded on his desk . Bruce was a man that planned for everything , whether he was doing business or simply being Batman , he had plans and preparations for everything but parenting - he swears no matter what he does he can never ever fully plan .

He never planned on adopting Tim , Jason , Dick and Cass , never planned on being Steph or Duke guardians or hell never plans on having his son, Damian. None of it mattered because he would never ever regret having them in his life . He has read so many parenting books over his years , learning how to carter to each one of them but none of them prepared him to bury a child.

There is no feeling in this world that comes as gut retching , as tragic , as painful as the feeling of a parent burring their child . The memory is fresh in his head - the view of your small body - mangled beyond recognition - save for the pretty pink princess dress he dressed you in to go to preschool - your own blood covered you - like a blanket - a last ditch attempt to protect you from the harshness of the world .

Your once glowing big eyes that always looked at him with excitement now stare at him with a dull , blank look . He remembers cradling your small frame into his chest as the world around him crumble apart , as it slips through like sand slipping away to the ocean whenever the tides crash onto the shore . He remembers crying when he felt the bullet holes in your chest against his own. He holds your cold body close , cradling your head into his neck like he always do when he tucks you in to sleep . He lips memorized the way it kept muttering " it's okay baby daddy's got you , it's okay " .

He held your body until the police arrived and had to confiscate it . For the first and last time - Bruce lashed out at them - where were they when the school called in an active school shooter - where were they ? What was more important than saving his daughter's life ? He remembers screaming at them and Alfred having to hold him back . Alfred had to make the difficult decision to shove Bruce into the car to stop him from attacking the officers even though he himself wanted to confront them.

That night the manor for the first time was silent - Alfred was opening his fifth bottle of whisky in his room as he drowns himself in his own misery - he misses his grandbaby so much - he knows you hate seeing grandpa so sad and miserable - would always climb up on his bed and offer him your plushie as you gave him a big old kiss but you aren't here to do that anymore so he downs another after another.

Bruce sat on the floor of your room that night , the pastel walls filled with polaroid pictures of all three of you , his eye caught one - you were sitting on his shoulders , you wore a wide grin on your face , arms outstretched as you held a cone of ice cream he got you . He looked so happy there , hair tousled from your antics but he wore a smile . That day you were offering him your ice cream because you claimed " ice cream is the bestest thing in the entire world !".

He sobbed into his hands - why - why must the world be so cruel to him ? Why must the world take away his parents ? Why must the world take you away ? Does he not deserve happiness ? Does he not deserve to have hope ? Why must only he suffer ? Why out of all the children in that preschool the shooter chose to shot you ?

Was it because you were a small kind thing and had pushed your classmate out of harms way and took that hit ? Was it because you were too caring for your own good so you cradled your classmate's crying form into yours while you bled out ? Was it because you were you ? Did anyone ever thought in that moment to help you when the shooter yanked you away from your classmate and began to beat your small frame with his gun ? Did no one stop him from mangling your form ?

Did anyone care to step in before he shot you in your stomach a few times and left your body to be ensnared by death's cold fangs? Did anyone care to listen to your last words ? Did anyone catch the way you softly whimpered papa and grandpa - too scared , confused , too engulfed in pain to understand what was happening - just a small child searching for her family because that's all you knew ?

He curses that blasted teacher everyday - how could she let a child face that ? How could she huddle the other kids closer to her - leaving you to face that monster alone ? He wants to grab her and brutally rip the life out of her lungs - he doesn't care that she was pregnant and stressed and was doing 'her best' - what makes her unborn child and those other children more important than you ?

Another anguished sob leaves him and he remains there , crying his eyes out til the dawn breaks upon the world again. He hated that moment the most - of course that morning the sky had to shower upon them all a strong storm - strong winds that destroyed rickety rooves - practically plucking them from their houses like it was nothing . Strong , heavy rains that flooded the earth , a desperate rebuttal to wash away the scum of the world.

Alfred and Bruce stood together side by side as they watch a small casket descend into the depths of the earth . The priest practically choked on his tears during his prayer - Bruce feels himself going numb all over again - just life when his parents left him - he feels himself succumbing to the darkness and emptiness that reside inside him.

He shovels dirt onto your grave , each movement engraves a knife deeper in his chest - further solidifying the fact that you were gone and never ever coming back . He will never get back the sound of your cute giggles , never receive your colorful doodles of Alfred and himself , never get the opportunity to carry you on his shoulders , never get to experience you going to high school , you getting to experience you bring home your first boyfriend , the feeling of being overbearing and overprotective of his little girl going out with some guy , never get to experience watching you graduate high school , never get to experience you going to university and hear you complain about how annoying your professor is , never get to experience being happy and celebrating you getting your dream job and he would never ever get to experience watching you get married to the love of your life .

He would never get to experience any of this because you were never coming back home to Alfred or him . Bruce pulls up to the drive way of his home . His hand falls to his side as he watches out of the window and glances at the shrubbery. He misses you so much - he wonders all the time if you would love your adopted siblings - if you'd doodle all of them with your scented crayons and hang them up on the fridge , he wonders if you'd love petting Titus with Damian , if you'd play tea party with the girls , if you'd chase Jason down the halls with Tim and Dick because he stole your plushy -

He wonders if you'd love them , wonders if your watching over them - if you are proud that after you died he became the Bat ? Wonders if you would be proud that Alfred stopped drinking for you because he didn't want his little girl to be sad . He exits his car , his hands clutches the stuffed white bear in his hand and the other holds the bouquet of tulips and sunflowers.

He takes the long walk to the family cemetery , recalls all the funny conversations you both had - like how you thought the sun followed you in the car - maybe it did because whenever he was with you things were brighter . Even now , as he stands in front of your grave , the sun set behind you like a golden crown , its soft orange and pink hues , your favorite colors , paint the sky . Bruce sits near your grave and begins to talk to you ,

" Hey sweet girl how are you ? ......Daddy and Grandpa misses you alot sweet girl ...we miss you alot .....did you know grandpa made your favorite brownies today ? He made your own pan because he knows you loved them ....Daddy brought you a new stuffie and your favorite flowers ? You can name him whatever you want sweet girl .....I see grandpa left you a princess crown - I bet you love the pink glitters don't you sweet girl ? Daddy knows your still the prettiest princess no matter where you are . I miss you so much sweet girl - I wish you were here hunny - wish I could get more of your warm hugs - Wish you were still here with me - with us "

Everything goes silent for a long time , Bruce stays , embracing your comfort . Bruce watches as the sun full set behind the distant trees , the world now engulfed in darkness . He gets up , wiping away the lone stray tears on his face as he prepares to face his family.

He gathers himself and looks at your grave one last time , " Daddy loves you sweet girl stay safe for me okay ?" and with that Bruce leaves , heart heavy and longing .

You wouldn't mind if I'd just randomly dump my ideas in your inbox, Do you?

-👻anon

NopE

Bro, we really gotta start working.. Like frfr

-👻anon

Frl anon ( I say as I eat French fries)

Ok so.. What if you make a batfam x neglected harry Pottah fem reader? Where we are basically the fem version of Harry Pottah.

- 👻 anon

Of fem reader is female Harry does this make Damian the automatic Draco equivalent 😭😭??

For the bimbo reader x yandere.. You can decide (surprise me 👉👈)

👻

Ty for the request !

Ghost noonie there's SO MANY POSSIBILITIES??

Alrighty I'll pick my man jason todd .

- so this delicious man loves reader despite how a lil ditsy she is

-he literally finds himself explaining everything to reader from simple " why can't I just shove the tray in the microwave" , " hunny it's metal tray and if you put it in we'll literally die " and he does it so gently it's all so hot -.

- he loves how reader wears all pink - he just likes how it looks so yummy on you.

- has a whole album of reader and is not ashamed of it.

- kills any man that states at reader top long and if reader questions why there's red stains on him he'd be like " sorry hunny was painting "

- reader is always sitting on this man's lap because he's clingy and too overprotective.

- loves when reader is being sassy and bratty with him.

- once jumped off a four story building to get to you because you left the house in that cute pink short booty shorts and no way was he letting anyone else see you in that. Like that's only for him ?

- dick once joked about liking you and Jason shoved him off a roof.

- jason doesn't mind readers clutter 8n his house because it just proof that reader lives him and is sade with him.

- reader once cosplayed as a sultry version of red hood ( black crop top with short black skirt and his leather jacket , your even dyed a part of your hair white and was walking around in 10 inch slitoes and a red hood mask in hand) . HE SWEARS HE SAW HEAVEN THAT DAY.

- literally simps for you

- would fight anyone who calls reader dumb or treats them like they are

Djwhdjddu tysm !!! I'm glad people like it I was low-key scared I screwed it up 💀

Lone Warrior Pt.3

summary :reader is put into emergency foster care after a tragedy , despite living with the Wayne family for a bit , reader takes it upon herself to move away and start anew since she clearly wasn't welcomed , after many years have passed Damian finally joins the family and after a particular spat w his father he finds himself in reader's room and an interest in them has sparked.

enjoy !!

part 1 , part 2

Gotham City , North , Mercey Island , Arkham Asylum. , Year 2014

Arkham Asylum stands alone on a hill , the sky above it was a perment drab of grey that looks too similar to the flickering static screen of an old television. The trees surrounding the island were scarce and bare - it's bark a dead charcoal black - it's inhabitants long gone.

The asylum looms too tall - like an angry adult looming over a child ready to punish them . Young Y/N steadily walks through the rusting iron gates - the old thing practically already fell off its hinges years ago . Y/N stumbles along the muddy track , her beat-up converse drags the brown mush along with her every step , cementing her footsteps in their wake.

Y/N feels a shiver crawl up her spine as she observes the flesh orange paint practically peels off the building like a fresh wound , it does nothing but reveal the building weak infrastructure. Y/N eyes drifted up to the windows that were way above her, all were barcaded in thick iron bars . Some windows had absolutely no light , some had, but most were flickering on and off.

Y/N's hands hesitantly outstretched and knocked on the bolted up iron door - she stood there for a while - a long while, but her mother always taught her to be patient, so she continued waiting. A long while passes until the door opens, revealing a long corridor - everything was of sickening white , down to the floors , the ceilings even the doors . The hallways look like it outstretched for miles and miles never-ending . The air smelled of bleach, and it practically burned your nostrils .

" Hello ?" Came Y/N's small voice , unsure. A nurse emerges from a nearby door and approaches her , her blue eyes practically pierces through her soul, and Y/N can practically feel herself reel back. " Name and business," the nurse states gruffly as she skims through a nearby clipboard on the wall.

" Y/N L/N and I'm here to visit Nora L/N" She says- her tone going melancholy at the mention of her mother's name. The nurse just nods - her face looked bored. " Alright kid , sign this form and go down that hall there -" she says, pointing to the back of her . Y/N nods along as she held onto the forms.

Y/N took her time signing the visitor's rule form and her name in a visitor's sheet before walking down the hall. The halls feel suffocating - despite the fact it's so huge, but Y/N swears she can feel it pressing down on her lungs.

' Would mom remember me ?' , ' hell would she even want to seem me after so long?' She thinks to herself as she rounds a corner. It's been two years since her mother had been admitted here , two years and Y/N going back and forth with the asylum administrators for visitation rights.

It was tiring - so unnecessarily exhausting having to prove time and time again that her mother wasn't some looney - wasn't an abuser , wasn't a bad mother - that what happened on that day was built up stressd , that she was just overwhelmed only to get shut down with ' she's gone kid forget her ' each time.

Y/N stops in front of another metallic door - it's white just like every other door in here, but somehow she feels the air around her tighten . ' This is it - I get to see you, mom,' she thinks as she pushes open the door . The door lets out a groan as if it's been years, someone has used it .

Y/N steps inside , her nostrils immediately are met with the smell of synthetic medicine and bleach. The walls are white - too white - it's unnerving there is no color in sight . Before her lies an empty metallic chair - the ones you sat in the principals office.

Y/N hesitates as she approaches the chair and sits in it - the cold iron sends shivers up her exposed arms. Her attention turns to the vast window in front of her , practically its own wall.

Before the window lays, her mother sat on a plain plastic chair . Y/N swallows the rising bile in her throat as she observes her mother . Long gone were those colorful , polka dot sun dresses she knew her mother adorned so lovingly , now she wears a baby blue knee length garb , her once honey toned skin was sickly pale - as if she was a corpse . Her once vibrant brown eyes just stated back at her dully. Her mother's hair - her hair that was always pin back or braided so beautifully was now knotted messily and strewn about her face .

Y/N feels herself wince as she takes in how skinny her mother has become to the point you can see her hallow cheekbones and the veins in her arms and legs. Silence engulfs them for a long while - both taking in each other . " Y/N," her mother's wraspy voice calls out to her . Y/N feels herself freeze - and suddenly, she feels tears fall down her eyes . Surely, if her mentor saw her like this, she'd laugh at her patheticness.

Yet still, the tears begin to pursue down her face , landing on her hands . " Mama " Y/N calls out longingly because God knows how much she wants her mom , how much she craves for her old life, to feel her mother's warmth , to feel her dad pick her up all over again , to feel normal - to feel like a kid again.

She chokes back a sob - God doesn't love her enough to grant her that wish - doesn't have enough mercy to even grant her that even in her dreams. " Y/N , what are you doing here dear ?" Her mother's hoarse voice asks her , the straight jacket wrapped around her like a cobra restraining her from her own pathetic attempt to comfort her daughter.

Y/N chokes up at the sight . " I'm here to see you, Mama," she answers truthfully with a smile. Her mother looks at her daughter - her beautiful daughter and for the first tike since she's been admitted here she let's out a laugh. " Missed you sweetheart " she murmurs , her eyes - her eyes look warm like they used to.

Y/N just nods , " Missed you more, Mama," she says sincerely as she looks at her mom, hopefully. Her mother smiles at her while she rubs against her handcuffs ." How are you dear ?" Her mother asks as she peers at her .

Y/N smiles , ecstatic - she's internally great full her mother was strong enough to withstand going crazy being locked up in here. " I'm fine, mom - I'm in military school now." Y/N answers as she shoots her chair closer to the window. Her mother begins to anxiously rock in her chair , " Military school ? " she asks, perplexed . Y/N allows silence to pass between them.

Unsure how to answer her , her mother meanwhile begins bouncing her foot anxiously. " They - they're turning you into a monster - my daughter, my precious daughter, how - how dare they -" she begins to rambling. Y/N perks up and places her hands against the glass ," No mama, no one is turning me into anything - I'm gonna make the world better, Mama, that's all promise -"

Y/N tries to persuade her but it was no use her mother was in too deep , " No - NO ! I WILL NOT LET THAT MAN TURN YOU INTO A MONSTER - THAT DEVILISH MAN HOW DARR HE TAKE MY DAUGHTER FROM ME AND TURN HER INTO A DEMONIC WRENCH LIKE HIMSELF - HOW DARE HE - HOW DARE HE !!!" She begins screaming and viciously pulling at her chains.

Y/N bangs against the window , " Mother, please ! I am not a monster mama please I'm still your little girl !!" Y/N practically pleads with her , her voice drowning in desperation as she banged against the glass hoping to get through to her.

Blood begins to spill from her mother's arms , and she begins to scream and curse violently as the blood gets everywhere on her clothes. " SHUT IT YOU DEMON, YOU TOOK AWAY MY DAUGHTER - YOU WICKED WRENCH I WILL KILL YOU!!," She declared as she violently launched herself to the glass . Her bloodied hands begin the bang against the glass.

Y/N begins to back away from the window , tears now spilling from her eyes - not even noticing the way her body collides with the chair. " Mama please clam down -" she tries again , pleading like a little child all over again -

Again, she's that 10 year old girl looking at her mom and dad fight all over again, and it makes her feel sick . Again, she's that helpless child that hides behind the sofa cushion as their screaming match gets more violent, and the sound of plates and glass cups being broken practically echo off her eardrums Her mother doesn't even stop - just starts bashing her head against the glass even more violently .

A door behind her mother's room opens and in walks in two heavily guards and a nurse. " GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME " her mother yells as she frantically tries to pry the guards hold off her . One guard looks to another and simply nods. " What are you doing ? WAIT LEAVE HER ALONE " Y/N yells as a guard practically shoves her mother face first into the floor and kept his whole body weight on her.

Y/N immediately starts banging against the glass hopelessly, " LEAVE MY MOM ALONE PLEASE " but no one paid her any heed. The nurse simply flicks at the barrel of a syringe and begins to approach her mother. " BACK AWAY FROM ME YOU WICKED BITCH" her mother shouts , her legs , frantically kicks at the air.

The nurse does nothing. she just calmly approaches her mother and sticks a slightly yellow liquid into her mother's neck. Y/N watches in utter horror as her mother's body begins to go limp before her. " WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER ?" Y/N shouts as she violently bangs against the glass. She watches as the guards drag her mother's body away without any care . The nurse turns to face her , face bored, " We injected her with benzodiazepine " she says , tone laced in sarcasm.

Y/N feels her eye twitch in anger. " English " she demanded . The nurse looks her up and down , " Basically, we sedated your mother kid now go home," she says before turning around . Y/N growls as she banged on the glass one last time , " MY MOTHER WAS NOT CRAZY YOU MADE HER THIS WAY".

Rostov-on-Don , Rostov Oblast , Russia , 2025

Y/N practically jolts up - like a madman being risen back from the dead. That memory of her mother will always haunt her even now when it's been years and years. Y/N wipes away at the stray tears on her face and sniffles .

She always go through with this - every night she is forced to relive that haunting memory of her mother - reliving how she's failed her time and time again - relive the anger of wanting to burn everyone in that stupid asylum to the floor .

Her hands tighten around the wool blanket laid on top of her - she gets angry every time she thinks of that place - that place that does nothing but destroy people lives. Another tear falls onto her palms as she states into the darkness of her room.

Her mom would of been normal if they hadn't dragged her there - if those wicked people hadn't taken her away. Her hand unconsciously reaches under her pillow and withdraws a small revolver . She plays with the cylinder , tracing over the five bullets within it . Her eyes drift over to her alarm clock - it displays 4 : 00 am.

Y/N pursues her lips - 'no use sleeping anyways ' she thinks to herself as she slips off her bed and hurriedly puts on her sneakers. Y/N grabs her phone , the revolver and her keys , shoving them in her hoodies'a pocket before slipping out her front door - fully intending to go for a run . Maybe - just maybe she can clear up her mind and pretend everything is fine .

Y/N finds herself jogging along the coast , the dock is lined with ships from all sizes galore - all docking in for the day to offload their goods . The water is crystal clear , practically a shimmering mirror as it reflects the faint light in the sky. It glistens and glided along like a ribbon dancing in the wind.

The sky itself - a beautiful tapestry of dark violet mixing in with pink and yellow hues - a tell tale sign that morning was about to dawn upon the country. Birds begin to flock onto the nearby seashore while the fishermen below on the docks set out to catch their early catch.

Y/N inhales the crisp sea air - practically greedily filling her lungs . Russia was so beautiful - so warm just like her mother was - no wonder why she always felt homesick when she spent too long away from home. Y/N crosses the empty road , making sure to wipe away her sweat. She begins a slow jog as she acends the hill in front of her - she is sure Dedushka (grandpa) Micheal is already busy brewing coffee in his small parlor, and she fully intends to get herself a cup. Efore the morning rush.

Just as she makes it to the top , she spots a kid in front of her crossing the road while an incoming truck comes barreling towards them , full speed. She immediately makes a bolt for it practically grabs the kid by the collar and yanks him back towards her . " Kid, look out !" She exclaimed as she shoved the kid back , causing him to collide with the ground.

The kid landed with a loud " oomph" behind her while his phone that he was previously so occupied with went flying out of his hand elsewhere. Y/N runs towards him and sits him up against the nearby building. The boy groans as he holds onto his head . " Hey, are you okay ?" Y/N aks as she brushes his raven hair back. The boy groans and sends her a glare - his green eyes literally looks at her in utter fury, " Listen lady I knew what I was doing- " he starts arguing but immediately stops when he gets a good look at her.

" Y/N ?!!" He exclaims and immediately embraces her.

like + comment + share please!!

Taglist :

@ellethesleepypotato @1abi @pix-stuff @shadowytravelerlover @cxcilla @vanessa-boo @not-your-average-url @sirenetheblogger @fennecspage @cj-theyoungling @jsprien213 @lonelyladyghost @type-ink @ryuusho @twismare @crazycaoticsimp @bunnyharp @narmothewraith @leelovesmadly @geminis93 @introvertedreader @jellystarjam @glowinthedarkjellyfish @not-a @seemee3 @radomperson2010 @delusiontown-exe @queenofdumbfuckery @bunniotomia @k-homosapien @khalinda-ev @lexi-username-1 @amber-content @yourhornysister @redkarma @scoutyyy @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni @anonymoustext @tin-foil @yl90 @cat-lover2000 @nightwinggrayson12 @bigteefsmallbrain @hon3y-l3m0n05 @sbrewer21 @yumeravenclaw

Notes :

(Also sorry if this was short I was anxious writting this - might edit later because I still don't like it but ty for reading !!!)

(Also I'm not sure why some @ aren't working ? If any experienced author knows why please let me know)

(Also, to any Russian readers, please correct me in any mistakes or misrepresentation - all Russian came from Google, so I apologize in advance)

Is anyone interested in being a beta reader ? Just curious , I have some wips but I'm not so confident in them so I was wondering if anyone is willing to read them and decide whether I should post them or not.

TO LOVE YOU IS KILLING ME

summary :the only person bucky has ever felt seen , loved and cared by is slowing dying and he can only helplessly stand there and watch them go .

inspired by the let me down easy prompt

crds to this challenge goes to @fvckingavengers

Bucky knew he was a difficult person - from the way he unnecessarily had to check all his rooms , closet spaces to little hidey corners in order to stupidly reassure himself every night that he can indeed sleep here or the fact that hydra's taken everything that made him human.

It hurted alot when they took his arm , it hurted even more when they scrambled his mind but it destroyed him most when they took away his ability to feel - to connect to anything remotely human.

It hurts so much to see his teammates hug one another after a successful mission knowing he fully well can't bare to close to someone like that, bruises him to the core when he flinchs like a scared , wounded animal when anyone so much as brushes against him the slightest

This type of agony bucky would wish upon no one - not even his worst enemy. It's such a lonesome life - a life where everyone either avoids him or sends him pitiful looks. He sits alone - wondering - sometimes crying to himself in the lonesome comfort of his home when he ponders on why - why must he be alone ? Is he not worthy of companionship ? Not worthy of feeling connected ? Of feeling attached ?

It came to a high one day when he met you. You were a lonely, ghostly figure whom stood by overhanging cliff - he just so happened to be on a late night run, and naturally , his keen eye spotted your figure encroaching the overhanging cliff.

He immediately sprinted towards you - holding your shoulders , " Excuse me, you need to stand back," he orders. He was met with silence - and for a long moment, bucky had actually thought he was holding a ghost since you were so uncannily still until you slowly backed up towards his chest.

You hadn't said anything yet - didn't have to when you finally turned around to face him - a look of pain and suffering was etched into the contours your face , dark circles prominent under your eyes and your unkept hair kept falling into your face .

Bucky had to hold himself back from practically caressing your face - but decided against it paiinfully aware of how intimate such actions are . He just - something in him wanted to tell yu hat everything would be okay .Silence drags out for a long time - neither daring to speak. " I'm sorry ...you had to see that" your soft voice apologized.

Bucky almost hadn't heard it over the strong wind sweeping in, but thanks to the serum and his intense training, he managed to pick it up. " It's alright " he murmured. A long silence passes by again - this time not awkward like he thought it was - it was one of mutual understanding.

A while passes by, and finally, your figure turns away from him and retreats away in the night's smokey blanket . Bucky stands there as he watches your figure disappears before he himself retreats back home.

The next time he sees you - it is at the cliff - this time he's there first. It's late in the evening and few days has passed since that incident , the dark blue , rough waves crash against the black jaggery cliffs beneath him , in the distance the golden sun was setting - casting an angelic halo across the pink , orange sky above him.

His hands sunk further into the worn pockets of his leather jacket as he intently watches over the cliff - today was exhausting for him - too many meetings- too many eyes looking at him , too many eyes staring at him , too many eyes trying to pry him apart.

He inhales, and his head immediately snaps when he hears shoes crouching on fallen leaves. He spun around - alert , reading to take out the threat only to be met with your slumped figure approaching him.

He observed your hands tucked in your own hoodie , oversized pants that bellowed in the wind . Your worn-out sneakers had ducktape stuck on in odd angles, but somehow, to Bucky ,you had managed to upstage even the prettiest models even when you look like you don't try.

You approached him calmly - as if he wasn't some treat - as if he wasn't capable of ending your life in a matter of seconds. You stopped beside him and took in the view , " Didn't expect you here," you murmured as your eyes taken in the shoreline.

Bucky doesn't say anything at first- it feels weird to him that someone is actually talking to him - not out of pity , not because he is expected to do something, not because it's mission related but out of genuine interest.

The words die in Becky's throat - how strange - he was a warrior capable of so much - how disappointing he couldn't talk to you like they wsy he oh so confidently did before the war. He mustered everything within himself to answer you , " I just like the view" . You were silent , pursued your lips as you kept staring out into the vastness. " Me too" you finally answered.

From then on - every other day , bucky looked forward to seeing you by the piere where he could indulge in your comforting silence and non judgemental presence. Bucky notices himself always feeling more relaxed around you - it started subtle at first - like his fingers going on their own accord to intertwine with your own whenever you stood next to each other .

And gradually he's become accustomed to leaning on your shoulders. Most times you both didn't talk - didn't have to because you both understood each other through silence and slow touches you both bestow upon one another.

One day - one particular day you were staring off into the setting sun - face held grim . Bucky held his tongue- of course he's noticed but knows better than to push you for answers - too scared you don't come back to him or worse hate him if he did. " Don't get too attached to me" You said abuptedly disturbing the tranquility.

Bucky looks at you strangely , " Name, don't be ridiculous" he says as a matter of fact . Name doesn't say anything else after that - just opting to squeeze his hand again.

Days pass by - bucky has yet to visit to piere, too busy being wrapped up in mission after mission. Months pass by like this and finally- he visits the piere , a handful of forget me nots were in one hand , his face wears a smug smile .

He's in a good mood - for once he's approaching this piere with eagerness - he's confident that he feels something for you - confident that he wants to further what you both have - confident to finally tell someone I love you.

He spots your figure already there, and he eagerly speeds walk there . He back hugs you once he's close enough, and you simply pat his hand. " Name, I miss you," He confesses. Name gives him a small smile " Pierre's is always lonely without you " ( I miss you too) Bucky smiles.

As he hands you the forget me nots, " I have something to tell you " He says - shy but determined. You face him and tilted your head. Bucky coughs , " Name - it's been Years since I've met someone who's wanted me for me , who can see me for me - be there because I am me , I thought for a long time that I didn't deserve any happiness until I met you , Name ....I love you" Bucky confesses.

Name smile , " Bucky..I love you too but I told you not to get attached to me " You say with a somber smile . Bucky holds you , " What do you mean Name?" He enquires , eyes furrowed.

Name weakly reaches to touch his face but suddenly erupts in hoarse coughing fits causing her to bend over. Bucky holds name but her figure is already limply falling to the ground. " Name ?!" He exclaims as he crouches down to examine you.

" Bucky, I'm sorry, but I love you," you confess - this time coughing up blood in between. " and I'm sorry you had to love me". Bucky fishes out his burner phone and immediately starts calling Tony when reader reaches out her hands onto his to stop him " Please no - I'm right where I want to be" reader whispers as she leant onto his shoulders.

Bucky holds them." Name - name. What's going on ? Let me get you the help you need !!" Bucky exclaims in a panic. Name's head began lolling off his side , "mhmm, don't need anything - just want you to lay me down slowly," readers mumbles - drifting in-between consciousness.

Bucky shakes them' in attempts to wake them, ' Name - Name, please ! Please answer me !!" He says as he frantically shakes them. Moments passed, and Bucky began to feel their corpse grow cold in his hold. Bucky, let's out streams of tears - it practically dalls onto your facxe , staining it causing him cry even more. He can't believe your gone - slipped through his fingers , ensnared by death .

He numbly stands up with your corpse in hand as he begins to descend the rocky cliffs towards the shoreline.

Bucky knows he can't promise being good. He can't promise not to let Winter Soldier reek havoc , can't even promise you to not get too attached in the first place. Now , he slowly approaches the calm seashore , the waves calm , gentle embraces his presence as he walks through them like a knife.

Water bunches around him as he descends further , your body in tow as he reaches as deep as he can get, he can't promise to be a good man after this but he can promise to let you down as easy as he can .

He lowers your body into the waves gently , watching as it encases you like a cacoon and eagerly carry you away from him. A part of him wants to scream , claw and be angry at you - how dare you make him love you, how dare you fix him only to leave but a major part of him doesn't regret loving you and doesn't regret you fixing him.

Just because you're gone now doesn't mean that bucky won't stop loving and mourning you.

Ty for reading. Please like , comment, + share !!

✨ fvckingavengers’ new year writing challenge ✨

happy 2025, friends! a goal i have for this year is to create more content for you guys to read after a 4 year hiatus. music really helps me to get the creative juices flowing, so i thought i'd make a list of some lyric prompts. whether you write smut, angst, fluff, or a beautiful combination of these and other tropes, i hope you find something that sparks inspiration. if nothing else, you can get some solid music recs because i have good taste. *cue glinda's toss toss hair flip*

there are no rules or deadlines. i do ask, that if you are interested that you please reblog this post.

lastly, please feel free to send me a prompt that you would like to read in my writing style as well! i mostly write smut/angst about Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers/Nomad!Steve, and Dean Winchester. but i with the right prompt, I could be persuaded to write for Peter Parker, Thor, Loki, ect. (really depends lolololol)

happy writing!! 🥰

fleetwood mac: gold dust woman - well, did she make you cry / make you breakdown / shatter your illusions of love / and is it over now? do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home silver springs - time cast a spell on you / but you won't forget me / i know i could have loved you, but you would not let me / i'll follow you down til the sound of my voice can haunt you / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

nothing but thieves: is everybody going crazy? - in this wounded, sinister place we've only got each other / the sky is crashing down, i know it's strange, but heaven's a mindset away // it would feel so good to steal some time / it would feel so good to make you mine miracle, baby - you need a miracle, baby, but i wouldn't wait too long, it's not gonna save you / seen any miracles lately? they hardly ever come along/ i need a miracle, baby

florance + the machine: seven devils - holy water cannot help you now / see, i've come to burn your kingdom down / and no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out / i'm gonna raise the stakes, i'm gonna smoke you out // seven devils all around you, seven devils in your house / see, i was dead when i woke up this morning and i'll be dead before the day is done cosmic love - the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out / you've left me in the dark / no dawn, no day, i'm always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart

nial horan: too much to ask - my shadow's dancing without you for the first time / my heart is hoping you walk right in tonight / tell me there are things that you regret / 'cause if i'm being honest i ain't over you yet small talk - tell me what you want because you know i want it, too / let's skip all the small talk and go straight up to your room / i've been thinking what i'd do when i'm alone with you / just say nothing, small talk only gets in the way

gracie abrams: i love you, i'm sorry - 'cause that's just the way life goes / i push my luck, it shows / thankful you don't send someone to kill me // the way life goes / joyriding down our road / lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me us. feat taylor swift - the curse or the miracle / hearse or an oracle / you're incomparable, fuck, it was chemical / you plus me was us that's so true - made it out alive, but i think i lost it / said that i was fine, i said it from my coffin / remember how i died when you started walking

maroon 5: harder to breathe - when it's cold outside and you got nobody to love / you'll understand what i mean when i say there's no way we're gonna give up / and like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dream / is there anyone out there? 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe secret - i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad / everyone has a secret, oh, can they keep it? oh no, they can't // i ask you how hot can it get? and as you wipe of beads of sweat slowly you say, "i'm not there yet" animals - you're like a drug that's killing me, i cut you out entirely / but i get so high when i'm inside you

miley cyrus: plastic hearts - i can be whoever you want me to be / love me now, but not tomorrow / fill me up, but leave me hollow / pull me in, but don't you get too close angels like you - i know that you're wrong for me / gonna wish we never met on the day i leave / i brought you down to your knees, 'cause they say that misery loves company / it's not your fault i ruin everything / and it's not your fault i can't be what you need / baby, angels like you can't fly down hell with me / i'm everything they said i would be gimme what i want - sweat drippin' down to the floor / bite marks like an animal / you might be insane / but maybe we're the same / tonight you came here 'cause you know what i need and no one likes to be alone

teddy swims:

lose control - problem is when i'm with you i'm an addict / and i need some relief / my skin in your teeth / can't see the forest through the trees / got me down on my knees, darling, please // i lose control when you're not next to me / i'm falling apart right in front of you, can't you see? hammer to the heart - just because you're staying over, doesn't mean that you're forgiven // baby, i'm helpless, baby / porcelain in your hands, bound to fall about/you know how to break me bad dreams - without you, there ain't no place for me to hide / without you, there's no way i can sleep tonight

daisy jones & the six: look at us now (honeycomb) - we unraveled a long time ago / we lost and we couldn't let it go / i wish it was easy, but it isn't so / oh,we can make a good thing bad let me down easy - if you're gonna let me down, let me down easy / if you're gonna let me down / don't you go and tell me that you loved me while you're leaving / if you're gonna leave me now you were gone - how about we turn it off? / just flip the switch and walk away / every story has an ending / and it's not our job to stay / now, how about we turn it off ? /just forget it like it's gone / we'll forget about the way you turn me on the river - if i follow you to the river / send my blues out to the sea / will you stay with me forever? / will you chase me in my dreams? / if i throw it all in the river / and let the rhythm take the lead / will it stay with you and never let you leave on me?

paramore/hayley williams: thick skull - i am a magnet for broken pieces / i am attracted to broken people / i pick them up and now my fingers are bleeding / and it looks like my fault ignorance - i'm just a person but you can't take it / the same tricks that, that once fooled me / they won't get you anywhere / i'm not the same kid from your memory / well, now i can fend for myself crushcrushcrush - if you wanna play it like a game, well, come on, come on, let's play / 'cause i'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute you first - everyone is a bad guy and there's no way, no way to know who's the worst / karma's gonna come for all of us and i hope, well, i hope, i just hope she comes for you first idle worship - oh, no, i ain't your hero / you're waiting all your faith on me / oh, no, i know where this goes / think it's safe to say your savior doesn't look a thing like me

taylor swift:

august - i can see us lost in the memory /august slipped away into a moment in time / 'cause it was never mine / and i can see us twisted in bedsheets / august sipped away like a bottle of wine / 'cause you were never mine

maroon - when the silence came we were shaking, blind, and hazy / how the hell did we lose sight of us again / sobbing with your head in your hands / ain't that the way shit always ends

castles crumbling - my foes and friends watch my reign end / i don't know how it could have ended this way /smoke billows from my ships in the harbor / people look at me like i'm a monster / now they're screaming at the palace front gates / used to chant my name/now they're screaming that they hate me / never wanted you to hate me i can see you - i can see you waiting down the hall from me / i can see you up against the wall with me // i can see you throw your jacket on the floor / i can see you make me want you even more / what would you do, baby, if you only knew, that i can see you // i can see you being my addiction / you can see me as a secret mission so it goes… - i'm yours to keep / and i'm yours to lose / you know i'm not a bad girl, but i do bad things with you / come here, dressed in black now / so it goes/scratches down your back now/so it goes… new year's day - please don't ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere so long, london - and you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it / my white knuckle dying grip / holding tight to your quite resentment / my friends said it isn't right to be scared / every day of a love affair / every breath feels like rarest air / when you're not sure if he wants to be there

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - my boy only breaks his favorite toys / i'm queen of sand castles he destroys / 'cause i knew too much / there was danger in the heat of my touch / he saw forever so he smashed it up

don't blame me - don't blame me / love made me crazy / if it doesn't, you ain't doing it right / lord save me, my drug is my baby / i'll be using for the rest of my life // and baby, for you i would fall from grace / just to touch your face / if you walk away / i'd beg you on my knees to stay

i can fix him (no really i can) - good boy / that's right / come close/i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel / all night/trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man / no really i can

florida!!! - i need to forget so take me to florida / i got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida / tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable / what a crash, what a rush / fuck me up, florida / it's one hell of a drug

haunted - you and i walk a fragile line / i have known it all this time but i never thought i'd live to see it break

the prophecy - please i've been on my knees / change the prophecy / don't want money / just someone who wants my company / let it once be me / who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy

wonderland - you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had / and in the end, in wonderland, we both went mad

i know places - they are the hunters, we are the foxes / and we run / just grab my hand and don't ever drop it / my love // baby, i know places we won't be found / they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down / 'cause i, i know places we can hide

fortnight - i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me // i took the miracle move-on drug but the effects were temporary / and i love you, it's ruining my life

the black dog - old habits die screaming // six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke illicit affairs - you wanna scream don't call me "kid" / don't call me "baby" / look at this godforsaken mess that you made me // and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times this is me trying - my words shoot to kill when i'm mad / i have a lot of regrets about that // it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you the great war - it turned into something bigger / somewhere in the haze, had a sense i'd been betrayed / your finger on my hairpin trigger / soldier down on that icy ground / looked up at me with honor and truth / broken and blue, so i called off the troops / that was the night i nearly lost you false god - we might just get away with it / religion's in your lips / even if it's a false god / we'd still worship / we might just get away with it / the alter is my hips / even if it's a false god / we'd still worship this love

misc: daydreaming by harry styles - stay unil the morning, 'cause, baby, loving you's the real thing / it just feels right / so give me all of your love, give me something to dream about the summoning by sleep token - oh, and my love / did i mistake you for a sign from god? / or are you really here to cast me off? / or maybe just to turn me on? / 'cause these days, i would be lying if i told you that / i didn't wish that i could be your man / or maybe make a good girl bad wildflower by billie eilish - but i see her in the back of my mind / all the time / like a fever, like i'm burning alive / like a sign / did i cross the line? push me over by maren morris - necklace rests just so on your collarbone / makes me want to know how your perfume smells on me later // want you in my bed 'cause i dont need more friends / the more that you come closer, want you to push me over get stoned by hinder - let's go home and get stoned / we could end up makin' love instead of misery / go home and get stoned / 'cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me heavy by powers - it's heavy / heavy how i want you so bad / heavy when it hits me so fast / heavy and it's driving me mad / that i'm never gonna give you up addicted by kelly clarkson - i'm hooked on you, i need a fix, i can't take it / just one more hit, i promise i can deal with it / i'll handle it, quit it, just one more time then that's it / just a little bit more to get me through this in the middle of the night by elley duhe' - in the middle of the night / just call my name, i'm yours to tame / in the middle of the night / i'm wide awake, i crave your taste blame brett by the beaches - i'm sorry in advance / i'm only gonna treat you bad / i'm probably gonna let you down / i'm probably gonna sleep around / so sorry in advance / before you take off your pants / i wouldn't let me near your friends / i wouldn't let me near your dad / but don't blame me, blame brett / blame my ex, blame my ex, blame my ex ego talking by fletcher - hope my lips haunt you for life, hearing my name twists the knife / hoping you stay brokenhearted / but that's just my ego talkin' 63 days by atlas genius - i told you i would race home if you need me / in for the long chase / i'll make you believe daylight by david kushner - this lust is a burden that we both share / two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer / souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt celebrity skin by hole - honeysuckle, shes made of poison / she obliterated everything she kissed ceilings by lizzy mcalpine - bedsheets, no clothes / touch me like nobody else does / lovely to just lay here with you / you're kinda cute, and i would say all of this / but i don't wanna ruin the moment / lovely to sit between comfort and chaos disease by lady gaga - screamin' for me baby / like your gonna die / poison on the inside, i could be your antidote tonight