@4humanexperiment4​ You Have Something Of A Point, Sometimes Bad Social Skills Can Be Mistaken For

@4humanexperiment4​ You have something of a point, sometimes bad social skills can be mistaken for harassment. Just last week, a much older man gave me a compliment in a weird context, and I and the girls around me weren’t sure what to think. I asked someone, and it turned out he was mentally disabled. So yes, that does happen. But let’s be real. That kind of thing is the exception, and it is extremely rare. The vast majority of the time, when an older guy is crossing a younger girl’s boundaries, it’s because he’s a creep. 

So let me be clear. This instance was not one of those rare exceptions. This man’s intentions were absolutely deliberate and sexual in nature. There was zero ambiguity in that regard. He was not awkward about anything, he didn’t look confused when I jerked my foot away from him. He knew what he was doing. 

With that said, I’m not necessarily accusing him of being a rapist or anything. I didn’t get the sense that he intended to hurt me or get violent. But I did feel very uncomfortable, confused, and self-conscious. It was not okay.

His actions were completely inappropriate, not least because: 1, he was a complete stranger who felt he had the right to make comments about my body and touch my foot (which was just flat-out weird) without any indication from me that that was okay; 2, he was significantly older than me; and 3, I was working.

So he may not be a rapist, but he is someone who would sexually harass a stranger, a teenage girl. Don’t excuse him.

(1/3) So, the store I work at just moved to a new location where there's greater foot traffic. Today was my second day there, and my first shift manning the store alone. I’m 18, by the way. Towards the end of the day, this guy came in. Sweaty from a run. Seriously muscled, maybe mid-to-late-twenties. Anyway, he started talking, being kinda friendly and joking, and also I had the impression of flirtatious too.

(2/3) I was, you know, wearing my ‘customers’ face. Anyway we’re chatting, I’m telling him about our soaps, etc. Then, he kinda stops, looks me up and down, and says, “You know, you have a great body. Do you work out?” And I’m like, ugh, internally. I shrug and tell him I do ballet. I go back to talking about the products, kind of just, you know, moving away, but he kept moving closer to me, getting within about a foot of me.

(3/3) We talk for a little bit more about the products, then he looks down, says “Wow! Your feet are so small! They’re tiny!” and then he knelt down and he grabbed my foot around the heel and lifted it up to examine it. I was so startled I nearly kicked him, but I just ended up just jerking my foot away. He stuck around for the rest of my shift (half an hour), and said he’s planning to come back and see me again. Any advice, anyone?

Okay that is seriously creepy and I’m so sorry you experienced this. Touching you without permission is harassment. A couple thing to do if he comes back in, optional, of course:

1. Immediately alert your manager or another person on staff. Tell them he has come in before to bother you, touched you without your permission, and makes you uncomfortable. Allow them to handle him while you wait in a back room.

2. If you do not have another person working with you, be sure to keep your distance from him. Stay behind a counter. If he lingers, inform him your “boss” has a policy against loitering, and you’ll have to ask him to leave if he isn’t shopping. If he inquires further, say that the door “has a counting metric, to see who enters and leaves without a purchase, and it affects your formal review”. (A retail shop I worked at before had this, it’s real tech). This is to encourage him to leave.

3. If he strikes up casual conversation about yourself, or asks your number, work in that you “have a boyfriend”. Creepy men often respect the “authority” of a created man having “ownership” of you more than your own bodily autonomy. This can make you safer and deter him from returning.

4. If he touches you again, tell him you are going to have to ask him to leave. He will likely do a big show of “wow you’re making something out of nothing!!” Calmly ask him again to leave. If he seems aggressive, remind him of the “cameras”. It doesn’t matter if you actually have cameras.

5. If he continously shows up to bother you, make sure a manger is on shift with you to deal with him.

6. If he ever follows you home, or shows up anywhere else in your life, call the police.

I hope some of this helps!

More Posts from Princess-of-lions and Others

4 years ago
Traces Of Coca And Nicotine Found In Egyptian Mummies - WTF Fun Facts

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4 years ago

So a lot of people are rightfully unhappy about the possibility that Katara will be aged up in the new Netflix version of The Last Airbender. That has a lot of issues and I’m glad people are talking about it.

But truthfully, I’ve always had some issues with how Katara’s relationship with Aang was handled. Generally, ATLA did very well with its female characters and gave us a lot of strong girls and women to admire, but it still had its flaws.

Specifically, the thing that bothered me the most when I first saw it as a child was the scene in Day of Black Sun where Aang kisses Katara without warning and without permission. That always made me uncomfortable. 

There’s also the way the writers handled the development of their relationship. Throughout the series, it is made very obvious that Aang has a major crush on Katara. But while Katara cares deeply for Aang, she is pretty much never shown to have romantic interest in him - except for that time that the fortuneteller tells Katara that she will marry a powerful bender and Katara is reminded that Aang is a powerful bender, plus that time they dance together in the Headband. But honestly, neither of those carries a lot of weight, in my opinion, especially compared with other scenes. Katara explicitly has a pretty negative reaction to the idea of a relationship with Aang in the Ember Island Players episode - where, again, Aang kisses her without permission, right after she said she was confused. Again, she reacts negatively to the kiss, and to Aang’s pushiness regarding a relationship. It’s kind of hard to see how they could move from this point to a full blown romantic relationship over the next few episodes. (Honestly, I hate that scene for Aang. It’s a pretty negative characterization for him. This scene made me uncomfortable as a kid as well. Actually, I might have hated this scene more than the Day of Black Sun scene.)

Anyway, for most of the series, Katara acts more like an older sister or mother-figure to Aang. And then at the end of the series, Aang defeats the Firelord and suddenly Katara is all in for a relationship? I remember the first time I saw it, it seemed sudden within the context of the story. Outside of the context of the story, it pretty much looks like Katara was treated as a reward for Aang - the hero saves the day, gets the girl trope. I don’t think I need to explain why that’s bad. It was also weak within the story’s plot, because it’s not well-supported by Katara’s character arc.

So the two main problems with the Katara/Aang relationship, in my view, are  these: one, Aang’s treatment of Katara within the story; and two, the writers’ treatment of Katara from outside the story.

(Plus, a 12/13 year old dating a 14/15 year old comes off kinda weird to me. A couple years difference matters at that age.)

This is honestly my biggest criticism of the series. It was still a great show, and I loved it, but as iconic as it was, it wasn’t perfect. 


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4 years ago

Omg I recognized this right away and then sat here thinking, but no, it can’t be, how likely is it that I would encounter a random picture from this particular museum? But it IS.

I used to work there! There’s an upper floor to the right of the whale skeleton and I would walk by it on my way to one of the labs in the morning!

The Setting Is: Below The Whale Skeleton

The setting is: Below the Whale Skeleton


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3 years ago

Lol I never thought about it that way but it’s so true! I play piano and flute, but I’ve also picked up some guitar and ukulele along the way and I can manage a cello too. I can also play the piccolo, but not particularly well. I don’t know how to use a violin well enough to say I play it, but I’ve learned a couple simple songs on one. (I’ve wanted to learn the harp since I was 13 or so, but those aren’t easy to get a hold of.)

What instruments do you play?

Him: yes


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4 years ago

I love how the Earth is this giant, beautiful tectonic mosaic

6 years ago
Took These At The University’s Garden The Other Day. Spring Is Coming - If Very Slowly.
Took These At The University’s Garden The Other Day. Spring Is Coming - If Very Slowly.

Took these at the university’s garden the other day. Spring is coming - if very slowly.

3 years ago

The Most Iconic™ Moments In Leverage

-sophie showing up at her own funeral. Twice. -nate running up 15 flights of stairs and stopping on every floor to press the elevator button just to piss off Sterling -“he must’ve had some good qualities” “none. Not even in bed” -sophie throwing off her trench coat to reveal a rapelling harness, and Parker running to her while Sterling’s shouting for the agents to catch them -eliot knocking out 4 guys before Hardison’s bag hits the floor -“if you eat a snakes heart, you consume its soul”

4 years ago

This is very cool and I’d love to take a look at that movie but does anyone know where I can find it with English subtitles? Or if not, I saw something about it being produced with French subtitles - couldn’t find that one either - but that would work too

Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)
Anahit: The Queen Who Made The King Get A Job (Armenian Folk Tale)

Anahit: The Queen Who Made the King Get a Job (Armenian Folk Tale)

Full entry (with footnotes) here. Book here. Patreon here. Art notes and whatnot after the cut - but real quick:

Yes, she already has her own animated princess movie. It’s not in English. It was posted in full by the animation studio here, so I hope it’s okay to embed it:

This version seemingly takes some liberties. Her uncle is in league with some shadow demon, there’s a talking dog, and her horse turns into this fiery magic flying creature…? I don’t know.

Keep reading


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