Forgive Me Father For Sometimes I Just Say Things

oh you like history? name everything that ever happened

Sometimes when I have a hard time sleeping at night I try to imagine the person I want to be someday. Whether that be in my clothing, my lifestyle, where I live, or the kind of people I hope to be surrounded by someday.

Recently that’s been in the form of mapping out what tattoos I would want. I am unfortunately lacking in disposable income but I know that I will be getting:

1) the follie a deux bears with some minor posing changes on my thigh

2) “one day I am gonna grow wings” on my ribs on one side and the word wings will be underneath the rest of the text and look like cutie sweetie beautiful ethereal angelic fairy wings with a corresponding set of wings on my back

3) little stars/sparks on the other side of my ribs inspired by Bakugo from MHA.

It may be one year, it may be three years, it may never even happen.

But maybe one day I will :)

trying to figure out how to submit myself as a case study cause what the everlasting fuck is wrong with me !

Let me recount the journey the lord has placed me on over the past two months.

1) Made an account on tumblr after realizing this is peak social media for my brain (generally focused on fandom related content, formatting detoxes my brain from consistent easy dopamine, not a single soul I know in my day to day life is even aware of the existence of tumblr)

2) Quietly consumed all the content I came here for in the first place, found my favorite ships, found content for fandoms I had considered dead etc. while doing my best to observe the ecosystem without causing any kind of disruption to it.

3) Realized the Tumblr ecosystem does not give a shit about me and I can use this as a diary now! YIPPPEEEE YOPPPEEE YOEPEPEPE YAYAYAYAYAYA WOOO HOOO

tiktok ban to tumblr

Basically I've spent the past decade interacting with fandom content that originated from here on different platforms. Once fandom stuff found it's way to tiktok I completely moved onto there but as someone living in the US that's kind of done for at this point lol. I don't know I think I'm just rambling now but it feels so nostalgic and full circle that I finally actually made my own tumblr account after a decade and everything is so beautiful and nice here and all the awesome fanart from my fyp is all here too!! I don't know it just feels very nostalgic and nice to finally be here :')

so much of my life has been “you know i always really wanted to…” and then not doing the /thing/ because I gaslit myself into thinking i couldn’t. But now? now!! NOW?!? i’m free will maxxing babeyy! I will write a shitty shorty story! I WILL BUILD MY LEGO SET! I WILL BUY A MINI FRIDGE! I WILL GET A DEGREE! WHO WILL STOP ME!!! Not me!!!

so far i’ve just been silently scrolling and finding my fandoms. I’m too scared to disrupt this beautiful ecosystem.

#spenttwentyminutesrealizinganoteisalike

#canistillcommentrawnextquestion?Ireallylikedthatone

#tiktokban

#tiktokrefugee

tiktok refugees i believe you are few but it is VITAL that you know on tumblr you can speak freely. kill. die. sex. fuck. you can say things here

i’ve never actually talked to 95% of my mutuals but that doesn’t stop me from automatically thinking “friend!!” whenever their icons pop up in my feed