Hive Worms Are Just Tiny, Evil Roombas

Destcember Day 18: Dancing Is What To Do

"Are you sure now is the time to be dancing?"

"I'm sure."

"Because you are surrounded by Hive."

"Yes Yew, I know that."

"Then why are you dancing?"

"Because I am completely out of ammo, grenades, melee abilities, rifts, and health and we are in a Darkness Zone, so you can't revive me here. I have 30 more seconds until I can use my super and the only thing I could think to do to stall was dance. If I stop now, they will kill us both. So, that is why I'm dancing"

"Oh, well I suppose dancing is what to do."

If Guardians still play baseball, I guarantee you that someone has accidentally thrown their Ghost instead of the ball. I'm not sure how or why it happened, but I am completely that it has.

Destcember Day 30: New Vistas

Of all the places that I have been, perhaps the one that awed me the most my first time being there was Mara Sov's throne world, specifically the Queen's Court. It was such a beautiful sight, looking out past the edge of the universe and seeing. I stood there for as long as I could, until Mara started less than subtly suggesting that I should leave. It isn't just her Court that is beautiful. While I was Dûl Incaru, what I saw of the rest of her throne world looked like it would be almost as awe inspiring as her Court once the damage Oryx did is repaired. If we ever manage to end all of the wars we are fighting, maybe I will be able to find myself a place with such a view. Perhaps a little home on Pluto, without any light pollution to obscure my view. Or, if I can master enough kinds of magic, I could carve myself out a bit of the ascendant plane. Hell, even the Drifter managed to get himself a slice to store his Taken monsters in, as small and ramshackle as it may be. Yeah, I think I'll look into that. Surely all that killing that I have had to do recently must be good for something.

I have questionable tastes

joker’s wild is here and penumbra is coming and i’m reminded of the Discomfort

Proposal for a new type emote: Emotes that let your Ghost emote with you. The possibilities are endless, but include:

Your ghost flying around your head

Sitting with your ghost on your shoulder

Disco ball ghost

Ghost spinning on your finger like a basketball

Ghost scanning you and using their little laser on different spots

Multi-person emotes where you stand around and your ghosts talk

And many, many more.

Fireteam member, helping to drag a heavily traqulized Royal Beast back from the Pleasure Gardens to my ship:

"So why are we doing this? It would have been easier just to kill it and take the loot"

My Warlock:

"I need it for... ... ... psionics research."

*whispering to the dog* "Good boy. New Pet."

Destcember #1: A New Look

"Should I even ask why you have a screwdriver in you head?"

"Ok, so you know how exos can have the same base body but different colored eyes? Well, I think it might be a setting I can manually adjust and I want a new look."

"Then buy some shaders. All you are going to do is blind yourself."

"No I'm not, and even if I did you could just revive me good as new.

There, I think I got it. Let's see, red, orange, white..."

"Black?"

"No, I blinded myself. I'll just turn it back... and its stuck."

"I told you."

"You did. Now just reset me before I fall off the Tower."

"In a bit. It's funny to watch you stumble. I'll be back one have learned your lesson. In the meantime, enjoy your new look."

"Hilarious Yew...

You still there, Yew?

Well, she's gone."

I know it will never happen, probably because it would be a nightmare to program and balance, but I want a flamethrower. Just imagine it. Finally being able to literally kill all of those creepy thralls and screebs. Seeing the home of the enemy burn down around you. Looking at your Ghost worry as the fire glints off your wide eyes and wolfish smile. In conclusion, fire good.

Destcember Day #3: A Long Shadow

Humanity stands like a young sapling in an old forest. We have so much potential to grow large and prosper. We were on our way even before the Traveler ushered in the Golden Age. With just a little room and a bit of time, we could have been something great. But it was not to be, because we started our journey late. We were not in some bright clearing or field. No, we exist in the long shadow of the old races. The Hive came and blotted out our Light with their Darkness. It was so easy too, for they have enjoyed the benefits of maturity and age for billions of years before our little star even began to form, let alone our race. So, here in the shade of the old and the Darkness, we are left with two choices.

We can allow ourselves to wilt away into dust and rot, just a minor footnote in the logs of the Hive. It would be so easy. If we just stopped fighting, they would gladly wipe us without a shred of hesitation or remorse. If we were lucky, some of us might be taken by the Cabal as oddities or a new client race. Maybe some would survive the purge for a time, huddled together in the cold until nature runs its course or they find themselves at the end of a scout's gun. Our spark would go out and be forgotten in the shade. However, we have never chosen the easy path.

In order for a sapling to prosper, the old growth must be cut away. The old trees must be chopped away and cut down to size. Only then can the light pierce through the dark. Only then can the weak and the young begin to grow.

So take up your Light and your guns and wield them like an axe. Cut and cut and cut until the rivers run brown with the sap of the old trees. Cut until the Dark is no more than an old story that we tell our children. Cut until there is nothing left between you and the Sky. Today they may cast a long shadow, but tomorrow they will cast a shadow no longer.

Destcember Day 6: In the Vanguard

In the Vanguard, your duty always comes first. Everything other than your duty to the City and its people is secondary, as Zavala will happily tell you if you ask, or, more often, if you ever do anything that indicates to him that you might even think otherwise. Personally, I could never get behind that mentality. Of course, I still believe in protecting the City and all, but not to the exclusion of all else. Zavala's mindset on duty boarders on both tyranny and cowardice. He attempts to ban all guardians from searching out their past, reasoning that they would have to leave the city to do so. When Ana tried to help Rasputin, Zavala constantly tried to discourage her, on the grounds that we couldn't control Rasputin, never thinking that maybe we didn't need to. He never pushes advantages or goes on the offensive, only holding on to what we have and, more often than not, nearly losing that too. But, the final straw for me was his pathetic treatment of our greatest friends and allies. When Cadye was murdered, rather than sending an army of guardians or even a single fireteam to avenge our friend, Zavala refused, saying that our duty to the City was more important. Then, when I took the initiative and hunted Uldren down myself, he had the nerve to act high and mighty, both saying that I shouldn't have done it and that he would have done the same in another life. So, that's why I'm no longer in the Vanguard. Because in the Vanguard, it is duty before self and duty before reason, with a spineless tyrant in charge of it all.