Reblog To Give Your Headache To Elon Musk Instead

"My Snapchat Story" is what you would say if snapchat was a terminal diagnosis you recovered from as a kid and then you wrote a book about it

*grumpy climatologist staying at hotel for convention*

"Continental Breakfast? I'd hardly say so, it's just as lukewarm in summer as it is in winter!"

these three gentlemen are always telling me sweet nothings about the world while i eat my deerslop

ive recently been able to get over my sensory issues regarding moisturizer by literally just saying "im going snail mode"

Pro tip! If someone ever says they would fuck their own clone, you can make the conversation different by saying you'd also fuck their clone.

why is this weirdly racist alternative medicine bottle offering a handjob. to my liver

early gnostic theologian: material existence is a form of torture thrusted upon humanity by the treacherous demiurge.

the same theologian eleven months on estrogen: well maybe actually it not so bad.

hey, don't cry. I detest trickery, but if we ourselves are to suffer deception, our hands are no longer tied okay?

I find it so deeply fascinating that there are medieval and possibly even ancient texts (I can't remember specifics rn but I definitely saw one from early medieval Europe recently) that are like "oh if only I lived in an earlier age when there was literal magic in the world"

I feel like nowadays people project that back ONTO the middle ages, but even back then they were like "there used to be magic and now it's gone"

its magic turtles all the way down etc etc