Pro Hero, Pro Mama, No Problem Pt. 4

Pro Hero, Pro Mama, No Problem pt. 4

You heard voices.

Voices that sounded terrified.

"Omigod! Is she okay!?"

"Get her sitting up, Bakugo!"

"I know, dammit! I am, I am!"

You blinked blearily, lights coming through your cracked eyelids. You let out a breathy little noise, as if you found your breath again. You saw Katsuki's face first, a look of worry etched on his features. He was kneeling, holding you up.

You then saw Ochaco, Mina and Izuku along with a few other unrecognizable people standing around. Some were obviously looking at the spectacle. Your head still felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and you looked around. "...wha?" You managed to ask.

"De-...Izuku found you sliding against the wall." Katsuki said, sounding slightly pissed. "What the hell, (y/n)?? What's going on?"

"Kacchan, be nice." Izuku kneeled down to your level, reaching out a hand. Katsuki drew you closer. "Kacchan. I'm gonna check her pulse. Nothing else."

He clicked his tongue, and loosened your hold. As Izuku slipped two fingers against your neck, Mina spoke up.

"I'm gonna see what's taking the medics so long." She said. Ochaco went with her, throwing you one last worried look.

"Kacchan." Izuku finally spoke up. "Shes got a high pulse. Like...really high."

You felt Katsuki's chin move to look up at his rival. "What?"

"Like, 120 beats per minute." He looked at your half conscious state, and back at Katsuki. "She needs to go to the hospital."

"...What?" Katsuki echoed again. "...No,she's, shes fine-" he brought his own fingers to the pulse of your neck. His eyes widened after a few moments. "Holy shit."

"Yeah." Izuku nodded.

Katsuki never panicked. He prided himself on that. He didn't even panic when you went into labor.

But this? You never fainted. You never had any health issues. Hell, even when you were hurt in battles or training, you got back up with a shit eating grin, ready to go out and fight again.

This was...different.

He looked at your face. It was perspiring, your eyes half lidded as you breathed quickly. You trembled slightly.

Mina suddenly was heard, telling people to 'make way, or I'll make you make way!' And you noticed three medics. Izuku made room, explaining to the one medic what he witnessed. Katsuki continued to hold you, still in disbelief at what was happening.

You saw a light being shone in your eyes and you squinted, and another feeling of something being slipped over your arm, and squeezing. "Ma'am, can you tell me your name?"

"...(y/n) Bakugo..." you said, your voice tired.

"Great, and the year?"

As you answered basic questions, Katsuki cut in. "Oi, what's wrong with my wife? Can I take her outta here??" He asked, his voice sounding a tad bit unsure.

"We don't know sir, but we really think she should at least stay in the hospital for a few hours-"

"What the hell!?" Katsuki cried out, Izuku holding his shoulder.

"Kacchan, let them do their job!"

You didn't have the energy to scold your husband. But you could tell he was worried. And when he was worried, he acted out.

You finally felt the pressure in your arm go away. "Her blood pressure is a bit high-and she's post partum. We'll take her in the ambulance-"

"The hell!? I can take her-"

There was bickering, and your eyes fluttered. You heard one of the paramedics calling your name, and Katsuki's grip tightening. You couldn't seem to keep awake.

That was fine.

This was all fine.

You let the darkness take ahold of you, and the sweet silence of it all.

You awoke about an hour later, the smell of a sterile environment stinging your nose. Bleach and alcohol.

You slowly sat up, the small blanket draped over you fell to the wayside.

What happened??

You looked at the I.V. in your arm, and the heart monitor you were attached to. Your chest ached, needing to be emptied. You were alone.

The steady beep of the monitor grounded you as you sat back.

Great. Some comeback you made. The make up on your face felt cloying by now, and the several pins in your hair irritated your tired scalp. You reached up, taking the pins out one by one, depositing them on your lap.

Your sinuses and eyes burned with unshed tears, each Bobby pin bringing you closer to collapse. Your hair came out stiffly, crunchy from the gallons of hairspray it was in. You licked your lips, the waxy taste of lipstick heavy on your tongue.

You felt like you hit rock bottom.

"....Shit." you muttered, bringing a shaking hand to each earlobe, taking out the pearl earrings, along with the necklace. They hit the Bobby pins, and a small clatter sounded. You ruffled your hair, your scalp finding relief in the action, despite the gallons of product clinging to it.

You should've stayed home.

Forget about being a hero. Forget about your image,the media, the public...

Suddenly, a wash of rage seeped into you.

See? This is what happens when you go out. Your body aches. Your boobs ache. You're weak and-

A knock on the door interrupted your thoughts. A nurse came in, smiling softly. "Hi, Bakugo san. Or, did you want me to call you (h/n)?"

"...The former is fine." You said quietly. (H/n)...wasn't you.

Would that ever be you again?

"Okay. Bakugo san." She sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling? You gave alot of people a scare." She said kindly. You looked up at her.

Truthfully? You ached. You were sore. You wanted your baby and you wanted to stay in your home and never ever show your face again and-

"I'm...okay." you then added, "could....I have my hand pump in my bag? I'm breast feeding and-"

"Oh, of course. Let me get that for you." She went to the side where a sink was, with your things. She handed the clutch to you, and you smiled politely in thanks.

"Is...it alright if I..?" You trailed off, and the nurse nodded.

"Quite alright. You're fine."

As you covered yourself while you pumped, she began to explain what was wrong. "It seems your blood pressure skyrocketed for a little while. We're ruling out all the factors like hypertension and pre-eclampsia-"

"But I'm four months out." You said. She nodded.

"Right. But sometimes it can happen after pregnancy ends. Your body is still recovering. Alot of changes have happened to your body, and now it's trying to regulate itself again. Spikes in blood pressure can occur. Pre-eclampsia can happen after birth, but usually after six weeks you're in the clear. What we do think," she paused, trying to find the right words, "is that you aren't getting enough rest. From what your husband has told me-"

"Is he here?" You asked quickly. She gave a small smile.

"Yes, but he's talking to a doctor right now about your condition-"

"Condition? If it's just stress-"

"We don't think its just stress." She said quietly, her hand placed on your thigh, "we think you need to be evaluated for post partum depression."

Your world stopped.

You? Post partum depression? But....no, that meant you weren't capable. That you couldn't take care of your baby. And Katsuki-

"No, I don't think so. I just was tired-"

"Ma'am-"

You began to tremble. She looked over at the monitor, the beeping a little faster now. "Try to take some breaths-"

"Heroes don't get-they don't get post partum depression. *I* don't get depression of any kind, and I'm capable of taking care of my child!" You stated strongly.

"Of course you are! No one is saying-"

You interrupted her, "I just...need to sleep this off." You said. She nodded.

"Well...if you'd like, we can prescribe you some medicine, and a psychologist that specializes in this sort of thing." She gently handed her a paper from her chart. "Here. You don't have to do it right away-but think on it." She was kind.

You shouldn't have lashed out. You stared at the paper in your lap. "...Okay." you said softly. As she left, she smiled.

"The first year is always the hardest. I'll let your husband know you're awake." She said quietly, and left. The door clicked shut, and all you were left with was the sound of the heart monitor and your hand pump.

It was a quiet drive home. Katsuki's tie was undone, hanging on his neck. He looked like he was thinking too hard, one hand on the wheel, the other propping his chin up. You felt shame and anger, worry and sadness all at once. The care packet they gave you on taking care of yourself and mental health after birth mocked you, and the hot brand it came with.

After a bit, he pulled off into a combini parking lot. You didn't look up as you heard the gear shift into park. He sat back in his seat, staring ahead.

"...What can I do?" He asked quietly. You still didn't look up.

Sure. There was plenty. He could take less patrols. He could take less nights. He could do alot, alot you couldn't even think of.

You couldn't ask him to do that. Give up his work? No.

"...I dunno." Your brain answered on autopilot.

"Then dammit what is it?!" He slammed his fist on the steering wheel, making you flinch. "I feel like an idiot because half the people I talk to that see you say you're not yourself, and now I have doctors telling me to get my ass in gear and open my eyes-"

"I'M FINE!" You suddenly screamed, and startled the blonde. You rarely screamed.

It was like a cork popped.

"I'M FINE. I CAN DO THIS! WOMEN ALL OVER THE FUCKING WORLD CAN DO THIS, EVEN WITHOUT A SPOUSE OR IN-LAWS OR WHATEVER AND THEY'RE FINE! SO WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!? SO WHAT IF I CAN'T SLEEP OR CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT!? SO...So....so what if..." you're screams turned to sobs. " So what if I'm not myself anymore? I don't even know *how* to be myself anymore. I'm...I don't even feel like I'm a person anymore. Do you know what that feels like!? The....there was a photographer who literally told me I wasn't the demographic they wanted in their magazine. On *women* heroes. I'm not a hero in anyone's eyes anymore! I'm...I'm *no one* but the woman who gave birth and now can't even go out with her friends! All our friends don't get half the shit I'm going through!" You couldn't stop the word vomiting.

"I can't even explain it to them! They all looked so....and...." you hiccuped. "I....Katsuki, I can't-" you wailed. "I just wanna be the woman I once was!"

He got out of the car. You thought he was leaving you to sob privately, but he opened up the door to your side. He unbuckled you, and held you, kneeling on the pavement as he hugged your midsection. You just sobbed.

"This...this ain't normal baby blues shit, is it?" He said quietly. You shook your head, hugging his head.

"I-I guess not." You said in between wet hiccups. You felt awful. "M'sorry. I'm...I'm just awful, huh?"

"No." He stated bluntly. "No, you're not. You're....you're going through it. Alot of it...I'm...not there for. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. I thought..." he hugged you tighter, "I thought I could just keep doing what I'm doing. That you could handle it on your own and...I could tag in when you asked."

"But...you never asked. So I thought you just had some dumb baby blues shit and I could take care of it easily. Get my parents to watch Katsumi, and you do shit. But I guess that wasn't the whole answer." He said quietly. "I guess...I gotta just do, instead of waiting to be needed. It's not like hero work, is it?"

You shook your head. "...No. I think...hero work might be easier than this."

Another silent moment. Then;

"Baby blues is such a fucked up term." You found yourself saying, followed by a sniffle. He sighed.

"I guess it is." He looked up at you. You looked down. "...Babe."

"Katsuki."

There was beat of silence between you both.

"...What do I gotta do?" He said. "Cause...this seems bigger than me. Than you."

"Its....I don't think I'm-"

"You passed out in front of everyone and you literally just crashed out. Don't tell me you ain't some kind of way. If you have post partum depression or whatever, we're gonna fix it. You *and* me. I'm a pro hero, dammit. But I'm now a dad. And a husband. Those two come first now. And I'll be damned if I'm caught slipping again and letting you down." He got up from the hug, and went back to the driver's side. "Look. We're gonna get you help. You're gonna beat this, and you're gonna be fine."

You swallowed. "...I'm sorry."

He grunted. "Don't gotta be sorry for shit." He started the car. "You're my wife. I want you back, happy and healthy. But you're also a mom now. It's like I said before. You can't be the same, but I'm just gonna love you more." He said, voice gravely.

Like he was holding back something. You looked over at him he gripped the wheel.

"...Katsuki."

His eyes flicked to you. "What?"

"...Are....you okay?"

He flexed his fingers on the wheel. "...I'd say yes. But you'd catch onto that shit. You..." he sighed. "You scared me. Thought I was gonna loose you tonight. It's my fault you were there. I let-I let the damn media and other people pressure me to get you out there and-" he gritted his teeth, jaw flexed. "And I told you it would be fine. And it wasn't. You weren't ready and I *knew* that. But I thought it was mind over matter shit. I thought it was gonna be fine. You'd look beautiful as usual and we'd have some time away from it all and..." he pressed his forehead into the wheel. "And I let you down. I didn't think. And that's my slip up. And look what happened. You pushed yourself and ended up in the hospital because you're exhausted and your brain's fried." He sighed. "...because I thought everything was fine."

You looked away.

"If anyone should say sorry...its me." He looked at you fully. His eyes looked...

Worried.

Scared.

Like he almost lost something and was about to loose it again.

"I'm so sorry, (y/n). Please..." he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbed. "I'm...not asking you to forgive me right away. I know I dropped the ball, big time. But...dammit. If you're hurting...tell me."

You stared at him. "...Yeah. I-I am. I...I hurt alot." You admitted quietly.

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Okay..." he said softly. "...Okay. Let's...let's get you home. We'll get my parents to drop off Katsumi and I'll handle her for the night." He put the car in drive. "And I'll be there. When you feed her. I'll change her. I'll do this right." He slid out of the parking lot smoothly. "I'll do right by you."

You pressed your head to the cool glass of the window.

"Okay, Kats." You said softly, closing your eyes. "...okay."

As the engine hummed, you realized for a moment something.

"How'd you get the car? We took a limo to the event."

"Had one of my sidekicks grab it from the apartment." He said, and sighed. "Dumbass nearly scratched it at the hospital, almost ran it against an ambulance car."

You snorted, then chuckled. Then laughed. And he found himself laughing, too.

Maybe.

Maybe things would be okay again.

It was a step. But it was there, and that's what mattered most.

((Had to reach inside my guts for this one. Funny story, (but not really) I crashed out in a 7-11 parking lot with my husband after not sleeping for a week. And then he kinda was like....'oh shit you aren't okay'. And I was like...'please help', and vomited in his car! Yay. Postpartum depression and anxiety, everyone! God I love meaty stories. I love it when they don't shy away from the reality of it all. Sorry, I rambled again! Let me know what you think! Story isnt over yet!))