That Man So Fine Omg

Do u have the full image that ur pfp is from?

This is it!

I just woke up from the weirdest dream, I was somewhere with my bed and another person who I didn’t see but I knew was there and suddenly I see hitler coming in and going bed to bed doing something and then he gets to me and is like ‘I’ll dye Jesus’ hair’ and I reply ‘he’ll like that’ then he disappears and reappears on my bed tickling me and then I woke up

You did WHAT ^Part 1^

(Based on a prompt/my reply)

Prompt:

You stood there, looking at your friend, facepalming “Let me get this straight, you’re dating a goddess, and actual ‘divine powers, older than civilization’ goddess and you ….CHEATED ON HER!?!??” Your friend has a desperate look in their eyes “Can you help me or not?”

My Reply:

‘Solve the problem by getting with her/j’

CW: Mentions of cheating, minor character death/mentioned character death(In the future), Religion 

(This is all fiction! There’s gonna be inaccurate stuff)

Here’s the story (Might be the first story I actually complete/j)

It was a peaceful night, everything was fine. Robyn actually had a peaceful off-day from work, spending their day touring the city she never had the chance to do. Then as she’s about to doze off watching TV, pounding comes from her front door. “I’m coming! I’m coming geez…” as she tiredly opened the door she was surprised to see their friend, Delilah Houston, it looked a bit relieved as they opened the door, “Hey…uh sorry I came over this late of night but I need to talk to you about a..uh…problem..?” They smiled sheepishly as it finished. Robyn, tired and confused, let them in.

“What’s the problem? And couldn't have waited until morning?” Robyn asked as she closed the door behind Delilah. “Well you probably wouldn’t have seen me by morning to hear about it” They joked. That woke Robyn, ‘What do they mean wouldn’t have seen me by morning to hear about it?’ They thought. “What do you mean by that?” She warily asked. Delilah then nervously chuckled, “Well….”

=========

Robyn just stood there, trying to process the info just given to them. Facepalming they asked, “Let me get this straight, you’re dating a goddess, Korah right?”

“Yes”

“What was she goddess of again?”

“Goddess of love and fertility”

“Actual ‘divine powers, older than civilization’ goddess”

“Yes”

“And you..CHEATED ON HER!?!??”

“...That’s correct”

Robyn sucked in a breath, praying to whatever god that isn't Korah to give her strength. With a desperate look in their eyes, it pleaded “Can you help me or not?” Robyn looked at them with a deadpan look, “How am I supposed to help you get away from your ex-goddess girlfriend? For all we know she might be watching us right now!” 

“Look these past few days she’s been trying to kill me in various ways and I need to find a way to get her get over me and FAST”

“What am I supposed to do?!”

“I don’t know! Why’d you even come to me?!”

“Cause you always manage to be the mediator in the group!”

Robyn sighed, this was gonna go in circles, and now 11:50 at night, and no progress was being made on how to evade someones now ex-girlfriend goddess. After a moment of silence, Delilah snapped its fingers in an idea, “I got it! Get with her!” Robyn looked at her friend in shock. As if 

They couldn’t find anymore crazier ideas than cheating on a goddess they somehow did.

==========

As Robyn walked to the café , the place to ‘bump into’ Korah. Though there's a VERY great chance she already knows about said plan and just wants to see it action just for the fun of it. As she walked into the café, she immediately saw the goddess eating alone at one of the seats by the door. They tried to relax themselves as she walked up to the table, “H-Hey Korah!-”

“You want to distract me from the fact that your friend cheated on me for months” 

“Wait for months….?” Robyn was not told this, they were only told it was a one time thing. Not the fact that they managed to hide this for MONTHS. She can see why Korah was after them.

“It’s not a surprise they hid that from you. As they managed to hide multiple people behind my back, even I’m surprised” Korah revealed. Robyn now had a change of plans, as she usually tries to at least hear both sides before making judgment (unless it's something more serious than there's an obvious answer). Now it’s more ‘give Delilah karma and (potentially) get with pretty goddess girl anyway’. Korah looked at the girl, “Look I have a proposition for you” Robyn looked at her, “I’m listening…”

==========

Thanks to @anima-chara I managed to make this but I’m gonna make a second part soon

Lawyer who is like visibly trying not to cry and teary-eyed and snifflign and drawing shaky breaths and hands trembling and constantly wiping his nose on his sleeves but he’s winning the case

Worlds can not describe how much I love Shuichi.

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

…

I didn’t even know that

how r u not following anyone lol

Idk but I am

Lactating

lactating

lactating