Words From Howl By Florence + The Machine

i wish you didn’t get distant and i didn’t turn mean.

i miss you every damn day.

meditated in a salt cave!! the gods totally knew i needed to cleanse myself after everything i’ve been through lately LMFAO

i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.

she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.

the realization that if Uriel was smart he would in fact know about this account, but i don’t think he cares that much to silently stalk me so for now i think i’m safe??

I know I don't talk much about my practice or worship much here as this blog is mostly just mental illness venting in a prettier format, but today I feel connected to my gods and that is a wonderful thing. To be able to hear the existentialism lectures in my philosophy class and know that I no longer can buy into such a way of thinking is lovely. I sit there like "this is interesting n all but my gods are here! I am not some abandoned spec of dust in this big universe!!"

So here is a digital thank you to my gods, for many things that I will never be able to adequately explain and express.

i just want to give up. i’m tired of being damaged goods n hurting everyone accidentally.

i know it sounds stupid but praying in the quiet hours of the morning will always be one of my favorite things.

(god i never thought i would say that lol, but here we are,, life is weird but my gods are good and that is all that matters)

i’m obviously sad how hard would it be to say you love me, or maybe try sending something to cheer me up? anything?

if Lord Apollon allowed song alone to heal, florence + the machine would have me considered sane

to my person - i will love you forever. thank you for giving me the universe <3