I Wish You Didn’t Get Distant And I Didn’t Turn Mean.

i miss him so much. i miss his quick wit, i miss his comforting presence, i miss the constant companionship, i miss the everything about him.

it’s so hard missing someone your brain created, that because i am doing better they took my friend away.

i don’t know what to do, how to fix this pain.

Jane Grealy 1. Puppy with Stick, 2021 2. Legs, 2021

The most beautiful thing John Green has taught me was the way out of the Labyrinth of suffering is alaska style (straight and fast). for me, my labyrinth is always my perfectionism during the school year. The only way to get out of the labyrinth though, is through. So, you put your head down and try your absolute fucking hardest and eventually it’s over until you have to start it all over again.

“The only way out is through” has been my personal mantra ever since i read looking for alaska during a residential stay. the book and the depth of its meaning are so very important to me and i could write essays upon essays taking about my personal labyrinths and how they are full of demons that i can barely outrun- but i won’t, i’ll save it for later. for now i have a labyrinth to escape.

Recently I went to one of my favorite museums of all times, the Muskegon Art Museum, and discovered this new bronze by UK artist, Beth Carter, Minotaur Reading. When people think of the myth of the Minotaur it’s almost always in context of his violence, his lust, his impossible body. Here all that is swept away with this monstrous form reading a small golden book. This made me crazy happy to see.

holding back tears in the parking lot of the community college because my mom called to tell me that my sister told college recruiters i was her hero.

taking the years of abuse for her wasn’t for nothing :’)

this was written during a suicidal episode, so please bear with the fragmented thoughts and overall vagueness of the big feelings I was feeling.

MASTERLIST LINK

go here!

thank u all for reading what i write. i love u <3

blackout poetry from a list of reasons i should not reach out to the bad people who i still love.

‘everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it’ is cute and all til u have bpd and go genuinely psychotic when someone abandons you