Curiosity The Cat Strikes Yet Again. God I Hate Everything

i needed that praise- i needed you ten years ago. i learned how to live with a present but absent father, i learned how to live with the years of emotional abuse and pain, i learned that nothing i can do is ever right or enough.

i don’t need you now, it’s too little too late. leave me the fuck alone.

i love car rides for the same reason i hate them; they give me the perfect space to finally think. today i’m wondering if 0.5/2 parents is really all that much better than 0/2.

atleast the 0 can’t disappoint you ig.

to my mother who won’t read this: honestly fuck you.

‘everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it’ is cute and all til u have bpd and go genuinely psychotic when someone abandons you

my heart hurts, everything hurts, i leave teeth marks in everything i’ve ever loved

‘Prowling Cats’ by Tim Southall

8.26.22

The Empty Kind. (excerpt)

“…I wish I didn’t burn every bridge I’ve ever stood on, now all I breathe is smoke.”

3.22.23 - quantified damage.

[in no way do i condone ANY stigma that pwNPD are inherently abusers. us cluster b’s gotta stick together. this is simply a post documenting my literature and growth into the recovery process from my own personal childhood traumas. THIS BLOG WILL ALWAYS BE A SAFE SPACE FOR THOSE WITH NPD! ONE ABUSER IN A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE DOES NOT MAKE THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY BAD PEOPLE!]

i hate being alone. i cannot stand it for some reason when the thoughts are bad. it’s just me and the voices tn fr :/

i just think it’s silly that my parents were a little sucky and now i’m a 19 year old with a personality disorder and an emotional support stuffed animal

i’m going to start screaming and crying pretty soon. like i am so SO tired of caring SO much for people who don’t even have the courtesy to officially end things.

i just keep getting abandoned over and over and over again and i will end up in the psych ward oh my god.