Rabidblue - RadiumBlue

Just in time for Valentine’s Day... 💔 

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- The Ellipsus Team xo

I am scared .

I am a young queer girl.

I don’t have much of a community, only two people who are also LGBT+ and three or four more who are even slightly liberal. Only the former know I actually am panromantic.

I long to be in the sun, to know in the future I could have a girlfriend, or even just be open, but that longing makes me cautious.

I feel I must temper my argumentative side, make myself likable, and yet still try to hold all those around me accountable and challenge their preconceived notions. I want, when they think back on me, them not to feel revilement or fear I may have been deceiving them. I try to compliment all the other girls in my grade but I fear if I truly say how aesthetically beautiful I feel they all are, they will look back and see me as perverse or fear I had a crush on them and not understand I see them as beautiful in the same way I see the mountains and the trees. Rather than understanding I had hoped for them to see themselves as an innately beautiful part of the beautiful universe or even just to slightly improve their abysmal self esteem, they might look back and see “corruption” in my words.

I don’t know why I even fear it.

I fear how I see those around me not understand the necessity of queer rights and one of my own best friends wrinkling her nose in disgust every time a queer character even appears.

I feel helpless to explain how the eradication of trans rights in not only a sign of the tragic repeating of history to come but isolated from that simply a slap in the face, more harmful to my community and to feminism than I can properly articulate.

I feel like I’m drowning when I check the comments on a video of an explaination of the difference between WGM and GM in chess. Dread haunts like the reaper as I see the large number of replies, each with people claiming the very existence of the WGM title is either unnecessary or proves how women are inherently inferior at chess, lacking any nuance on history.

I dispare as the community online I am forced to view from afar, sipping and skimming, attempts to repeat the same patterns that threaten to or try to rip our spaces in half.

I am wrecked with terror at the prospect of not being able to escape for college to another country. Gnashing at my heels as I run from the disintegration of my country is the fear that every place I look to is headed in the same direction, that no progress will ever truly be made as some proudly stuff cotton into their ears and put megaphones to their uninformed words.

I am young but I do not feel young. I fear I will never feel old and I fear what will become of me and my friends if I do reach past 55.

I am afraid

But even as the storms now wash away the footprints I follow, laborious, repeated efforts will carve a path into the dirt.

I'm so glad I live in a world where there's Archive of Our Own

You want to call your House rep now and tell them Trump needs to be impeached immediately for defying a Supreme Court order (re: Kilmar Abrego Garcia), which functionally voids our constitution and means no one in America has rights anymore.

I am not exaggerating.

As of now, anybody can be disappeared, no due process, no recourse. Trump is openly disregarding a Supreme Court order and says he’ll send US citizens to El Salvador.

This is not a drill.

Call your House rep and tell them they must impeach. Tell them if they cannot bring themselves to impeach, they must resign. A more open and shut case to impeach is not possible. Trump and his administration are saying openly, in public, that anybody can be kidnapped by ICE, even in error, and disappeared permanently.

Call your senators, too, and tell them to support impeachment (it goes to them once it passes a majority House vote).

Common Cause

Find Your Representative

Find your representatives. Learn how to find and connect with them. Stay informed about their bills, committees, and contributions.

Me-an agnostic- listening to my Bible class talk about heaven and hell

Say Cheese!

📸

Yep, no doubt about it, that's going right into my doomed souls collection!

Do you want me to shorten my last reblog to make it easier to sort through and respond to? I apologize if it was too long haha. I take after the authors I read as a kid and thus lean long winded and outspoken.

I genuinely would love to have a conversation, and am even willing to take this to private messages if that is available and easier.

hey wait! i know you! we used to be chained next to each other in the cave! wow, so good to see you, how are ya? man. remember how we used to talk about the shadows on the wall together. gosh that was a long time ago. but hey. sure is one heck of a sun out here, right? it's good to see you.

“You know who else was resurrected from the dead? Aang and Elend Venture! Can we talk about them too now???”

making every conversation into being about The Character with the same reliability and conviction of a youth pastor going “you know who else partied? our lord and savior”