Good God I Forgot How Hungry These Made Me

In an absolute fucking banger of a mood 💯

I love this so much hell yeah endorphins and fucked up brain chemistry!!

The disordered urge to simply scream

Fuck yeah yall already know what this means for tmr

i wonder how much of those around me would recognise me if i had no face or physical form ,,if i were nothing more than a disembodied spirit ?

could they put a name to my not-face ?

they said ily under the stars ✨

ur allowed to be sad/angry/scared/frustrated/bitter/etc about your physical disability btw. About not being able to do stuff u once could. About pain, fatigue, brain fog, other symptoms getting worse. About the loss.

U dont have to be an inspiration or be Tough about it all the time or even ever. Ur allowed to feel what u feel. Don't have to buy into "blessing in disguise" narrative. Don't have to go "well I'm not me without it" if thats not ur reality/experience. It's allowed to just suck and ur allowed to not want it and wish you didn't have it and wish there was a cure. Ur allowed to hate it and ur allowed to feel trapped in ur body.

You don't have to shut those feelings away and deny they exist just bc it's not how you "should be feeling".

[This is about physical disabilities specifically. If it resonates w/ u about a non physical disability that's great but please don't derail. Thank you 💛]

“You asked me how I was doing and I wanted to spill out all of my pain to you. I wanted to say, I’m really not doing well at all, I hardly sleep, and The smallest things make me cry because I’m balanced right on the edge But all I said was I’m okay and the sad thing was that you believed me.”

— (via wteverrr)

I want that “drive safe,” kind of love, the “let me know if you need anything” kind of love, the “text me when you get there” kind of love, the “this made me think of you” kind of love, the “how was your day” kind of love, the “have fun, be safe” kind of love, the “good luck today” for something I only mentioned in passing kind of love, the “have a good day” kind of love, the “I remember you said you liked this so I got it for you” kind of love, the little ways of saying I love you without saying I love you kind of love. 

people big ableist widespread ignore people talk hard. autism schizo others. taking lots effort word way people reblog. not asking need understand read know learn us. try

nobody tries get into head learn saying what saying. discouraging!!!!! tiring. lonely. big dark room fumbling tap walls nobody there keep tapping!!!!! tap tap tap nobody listens wants to TRIES understand

just asking stop ignore. pretend not exist please. not pay attention lots always schizo autism violence hurt trauma. this perpetuates

listen when talk even if not understand. try please

please reblog