Yeah You're Right. It WOULD Be Pretty Fucked Up If You Were A Swan But You Were Raised By Ducks And You

LET ME SEE THEM!!

To anyone who sees this, I wish you warm fuzzy blankets and your preferred choice of milk or tea. Now go sleep sleep!!

Of course everyone looks ugly in their passport photos. That's why it's a passport and not a smashport.

This is beautiful

Arches National Park, Utah photo: Elliot McGucken

One of my favorite screenshots I've taken to this day 😂

Plot twist: this isn't about monkeys...

The Monkey

A pair of shepherds were tired of wolves always stealing their sheep. To defend the animals, they bought a monkey and gave it a machine gun.

However, the monkey claimed it needed more food to ensure it was strong enough to defeat the wolves. It demanded the shepherds sell half the flock and buy it a mountain of bananas. The shepherds hated the idea, but they obeyed anyway. After all, the monkey had a gun.

As they were adding more banana crates to the pile, one shepherd said to the other, “Don’t worry, monkeys don’t live forever. I’m sure when we pick the next machine gun monkey, he’ll use his unlimited power to be a kind and merciful leader.”