Out Of Touch

Arches National Park, Utah photo: Elliot McGucken

things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

“what are they gonna do, fire me?”

17 years ago today.. the biggest rockstar move in history.

The look of satisfaction says everything

do you ever start writing a comment on the internet and then think “oh what the fuck am i going on about” and delete it

Music on full volume hits different

I like feeling the bass through my headphones