At This Point I Think It Would Be Less Gay If They Just Kissed

omega: don’t tell them about this

crosshair: you want me to LIE to our brothers?

omega: is that a problem?

crosshair: no, absolutely not

Jedi reacting to news of Commander Fox killing the chancellor (aka the Clone Uprising)

Mace Windu: ughhh, that’ll be so much paperwork.

Yoda: knew it would happen, I did.

Plo Koon: oh that’s fine, I just hope no one was hurt.

Ki Adi-Mundi: oh he actually did it? I thought he was joking.

Kit Fisto: Is Palpatine that old guy in the senate??

Depa Billaba: * too busy to give a statement *

Shaak Ti: that’ll do it.

Anakin Skywalker: oh my god, I just, oh my damn, that’s like, wow holy shit-

Obi-Wan Kenobi: oh WHAT that was today?! I missed it?!

Ahsoka Tano: wow dunked on

Aayla Secura: lmao

Quinlan Vos: lmao

Sorry for infodumping about my special interest out of nowhere, you said a keyword and it activated my unskippable dialogue

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

When it comes to Jedi discourse I think a lot depends on the amount of sympathy behind a statement there is. For example, "The Jedi have been corrupted by this war." is something Lucas has said, but it's in the context of how they were drawn into a trap, they were forced into roles that they were never meant to be, there's sympathy there for how the only choices here are shitty ones. "Do they compromise their morals (to fight in this war) or does everyone die and it's pointless anyway?" is basically what he said. I agree with that! But I have seen many people say, "The Jedi became corrupted by the war." and they mean it as the Jedi no longer cared about people, only themselves, they were only looking out for themselves, they were making selfish choices. There's no sympathy for the rock-and-a-hard-place situation the Jedi were in, and I disagree with that and I think that's what a lot of people are arguing back against. "They allied themselves with a corrupt government!" is another one--like, yeah, the Republic government wasn't great! But, when I say that the Separatists were worse, it's not because I'm refusing to admit the Republic had any fault, I'm saying it because that's basically the choice laid out in front of them--either you help the Republic or you let the Separatists take over, who were committing war crimes on screen. I do think the Jedi were hamstrung by their connection to the Republic! I just also think the alternative was worse, that the whole structure of Star Wars as a story was designed to hem them into this impossible choice (in as much as Star Wars is about the Jedi, when they're very much not the core of the story), that they couldn't find better options because the story wasn't set up to allow that. Could the Jedi have handled Anakin better? Ehhh, I think that's hard to say because the story itself doesn't present that, so making hard proclamations about what they did/didn't do wrong is reading into something the story didn't address. The story is about Anakin refusing to emotionally accept Jedi teachings--can we read beyond that and say there were ways the Jedi failed him? I think you can and some of them are fair (and some of them aren't), that it's a fun conversation to have, but that it's not what the narrative intention is, if we're talking about actual narrative intention. The narrative intention is that Anakin, though very human in his failings and Lucas clearly has so much affection for his Blorbo, failed to learn what he needed to learn. But there, too, I think a lot depends so much on how much sympathy comes across for the choices being made. I don't think we're meant to see Anakin as someone we can't relate to, Lucas even says that Anakin is a victim in TPM (of the Hutts and Watto, to be clear), I don't think criticism of Anakin can come without that he was trying, that he did genuinely love people. The ending of ROTJ doesn't work without us wanting for Anakin to find the good in himself! That we knew had to be there all along. So much comes down to how much sympathy there is in the criticism, how much sympathy there is for the reasons why any given character chooses the paths they do, and that's where a lot of disconnect comes from. So much Jedi criticism is done in the vein of saying, "They failed." and meaning it as an accusation of how a better choice was super obvious. But if you say, "They failed." in the sense that there was no way out of the trap that they could have possibly forseen, given the circumstances, that they did their best and they shouldn't have to be perfect to be good, then I'm all the way onboard! It's about how much sympathy there is for the context around a given character's choices and what the story allowed for them. I have no issue with saying the Jedi failed in the war, that they became corrupted by it, that their connection to the Republic led to their genocide, because I don't think the Jedi were bad for it, I think they made the best choices they could in the worst situation.

Cursory research into the meanings of Mandalorian armour colours...

Black - ne'tra = justice, an unshakeable moral code (also wanting to avoid stains on your clothes)

White - cin vhetin = a fresh start or clean slate (good for converts/adult adoptions)

Grey - genet = mourning a loved one (or recently rejected)

Gold - ve'vut = vengeance (a warning colour)

Silver - beskar = unpainted armour, a search for redemption (Din Djarin's guilt complex, anyone?)

Bronze - tranyc'bes - nobility and high status (favoured by stuck-up self-important jackasses)

Brown - daryc - valour, galantry, The Audacity (particularly when associated with them cunty lil jedi cape drops)

Tan - vhekadla - loyalty (lit. 'sandy' but I don't like sand, it's coarse and rough and...)

Maroon - daryc'tal - power (all hail Maroon 5, our benevolent overlords)

Red - ge'tal = honouring a parent (very popular, 10/10)

Scarlet - galar'tal - defiance and relentlessness (Mandalorian Scarlett Johansson omfg be still my bi heart)

Orange - shereshoy = shereshoy, a lust for life (the party people)

Yellow - shi'yayc - remembrance, burnt out vengeance (makes for funky funerals)

Mint green - cin vorpan - lust for peace, guardians and peacekeepers (does not necessarily mean I want to fuck guardians and peacekeepers, get your head outta the gutter)

Green - vorpan = duty, commitment and hard work (favourite of farmers, too)

Teal - jahaal = healing, violence as a last resort, I've seen some shit and now I defend peace (favoured by healers and New Mandalorians)

Blue - kebiin = reliability and faithfulness (favoured by single parents)

Sky blue - kebii'tra = new love, newlyweds, marriage and all that fluffy stuff (Satine's famous jewellery TCW S2 - ObiTine for the soul)

Indigo - jiisaviin = prosperity, victory, the feeling that we have achieved our hopes (tempting fate, perhaps)

Lilac - saviin = luck, change, survival in adversity, hope for the future (associated with the old God of Luck)

Pink - cin ge'tal - respect and knowledge, a fusion of past and future (associated with journalists and academics)

Ofc this is a rough guide and if anyone either doesn't like my sense of humor or wants more detailed information, check out these posts too: x x x

Okay so this is controversial but I'm going rant about it anyway because it really does bother me.

I don't like Satine Kryze. Now, hold on. I'm not some misogynistic woman hater, I actually think she's a really interesting character. But, I don't like her. The two things can both be true, alright? Character wise I understand what's she's after. Ultimately she was a little girl who watched her family be torn apart by civil war and took on a more pacifistic root because of it. Trauma does that. She wanted to stop corruption and I cannot fault her for that but to ignore the damage she has done as a whole alongside the blatant racism of her actions is just infuriating.

I want to talk about the racism first. Now, am I saying Satine herself is racist? I think it could be argued that, yes. Does she say anything to portray that she is? No. But she doesn't have to. I also think it could be argued that she simply wanted Mandalore to be peaceful, but when you look at what she's done to the culture as a whole, it's a bit jarring.

I'd also like to point out that I think a great deal of my complaints largely fall onto the writers, because at the end of the day, their beliefs are reflected onto the characters. And while Satine is not without faults, she is a fictional character at the end of the day. However, that being said, her beliefs? Are reflective of people's real beliefs and there in lies the issue.

And when I say that characters reflects writers beliefs I want to be clear that having a bad character (morality wise) does not mean a writer supports their morals and or actions! But when said actions are portrayed to the audience as the 'correct' stance, that's when things get messy. Let's get into it.

To understand Mandalorians first we're going to have to get into Temuera Morrison and the blatantly obvious fact that he is NOT a white man. He is Māori, and that is reflected heavily in Jango Fett's characterization. A great deal of Mandalorian culture stems from Morrison's own culture and to deny this is frankly racist in and of itself.

So when were discussing Mandalorian's and their culture, it's important to keep that in mind. You are not only critiquing a fictional culture, but one that is tied heavily into a real person's very real culture.

Mandalorians, from the start are established as a warrior culture. Start is used very loosely here because we only have Mandalorians because George Lucas thought Boba was cool. So bare that in mind. But when I say start, I mean that when we actually get to learn about them and their culture.

They have a creed/code that they live and die by. This is their way of life. And in that creed there is one very specific rule I want to focus on and that is children are sacred. Foundlings are the future. Mandalorians do not care about blood ties. They don't care about who your father was, only the father you'll be. (A common Mandalorian saying btw)

So, where does that leave us?

With a culture that is not only heavily tied to Morrison's very own culture, but one that also harbors a belief of adopting without care for heritage or one's differences.

What does that have to do with Satine?

Look at Mandalore when we first see it under her rule. And I mean really, honestly, and truly, look.

Why are they all white? Why are they all human?

Okay yes, you can probably find some instance where they aren't, but the vast majority of what we see on screen is white humans and if you don't see a problem as to why what should be a very diverse cultural group would all be white humans then I think maybe you need to think about that for a second. And this is why I think it's important to remember that tidbit I said early about the writers affecting characters beliefs. Because this was a decision decided on by a real person. You could chalk them all being humans up to being sake of convenience in animating if you wanted. I think it's lazy, but it is easy. But it's not difficult to portray different races. At the very least they could have added different skin tones. But they didn't. That was a conscious decision.

And as I said, this reflects on Satine and her own beliefs.

Because in an effort to 'cleanse' Mandalore of any corruption and war she has erased any and all diversity. I don't think I need to explain to you why a white woman ridding a planet known for it's diversity of any cultures and beliefs differing from her own, is wrong. And yes, while I can sympathize with a young girl traumatized by war so much that she wants to rid it completely, but in doing so she fundamentally managed to erase any and all individuality.

I'd also like to touch on that I don't necessarily think that we the audience are supposed to agree with Satine in her entirety, but the amount of people that I have seen defend her so vehemently is what drove me to write this is the first place. And while, like I said, I don't think the intended purpose was for us to agree with her, there is never once an instance where anyone bothers to acknowledge the blantant racism. Satine's changes are just regarded by everyone, even in cannon, as just a way to stop war. The only critique she's given is about her pacisfism and while, yes, stripping a warrior culture down to her pacisfistic beliefs is also racist and a big deal! It's as though they do not grasp that aspect of it, or how much deeper it goes.

The lack of armor, weapons, diversity, is all there as plain as the eye can see. I didn't have to dig to find it. I didn't read some obscure comic from legends, it's right there in the clone wars.

And while we're at it, let's also discuss Satine being a white woman and why that makes her actions that much more of an issue. Because as I stated earlier she is a Mandalorian, a culture which is based on the Māori culture. You know, people that aren't typically white?

(I will say in fannon, I have seen some truly wonderful artist depict her as a Māori woman and I think that's incredible! But that's not what I am discussing)

Because in cannon, she is portrayed and painted as a white woman. Now I'm not here to argue on if you can have white people as Mandalorians or not, because frankly Mandalorians don't care about your skin color. You could even go as far as to say that I'm the racist for assuming she's white when for all we know she could just have a lighter skin tone. You're welcome to believe that. Regardless of the case, I think it says something about the writers when they chose to depict a white passing woman as someone who needed to 'cleanse' Mandalore of its roots, don't you?

Making Satine white or white passing, along side pushing the agenda that she wants to change Mandalore for the better, when previously one of the only other Mandalorian's that we know about so intensively is Jango Fett, a person of color, is frankly, a little weird, don't you think?

I won't get into the details of how they've tried so hard to strip Jango (and Boba!) of his culture, because I fear I may never shut up, but I think there's an underlying issue of trying to paint Jango(a person of color who was upholding his cultures traditions) in a negative light while placing Satine (a white person attempting to erase a culture of its traditions) on a pedestal. And when I say painting Jango in a negative light, I am not referring to his hand in creation of the clone army. I am talking purely about his stance as a Mandalorian, and how Satine even goes as far to dismiss him as one, despite Morrison's portrayal of him being the reason for the culture in the first place.

Am I arguing that making her a person of color would fix things? No,not by any means.

My goal here is not to 'fix' things or to paint Satine Kryze in a better light. I do not think Satine Kryze needs to be painted in a better light. My goal here, if I have any at all, is to showcase the racism in her actions, and to illustrate my frustrations with the lack of critique towards it. The amount of people I've seen defend her actions greatly outweighs the number of people I've seen critique her.

I don't have ill intent towards people who do like her. You are allowed to enjoy characters who do bad things! God knows I'm guilty of it myself. I just want to vent my frustrations, alongside shed some potential light on an issue.

The Bad Batch’s true Himbo

I need you to hear me out here.

Hunter is the dumbest of the original four Bad Batchers. Hunter is the himbo. Hunter

Because think about it. Wrecker has to be fucking intelligent to work with explosives. Intelligent and gentle, considering how delicate explosives can be. Plus Wrecker matches bomb squad energy so fucking well. As for the fact that he is played as the dumb one could really be explained from the obvious head trauma he received. Or even Aphasia; which is the overall term for a brain-connected problem with language abilities. AND Aphasia is usually caused by damage to the left side of the brain, WHICH WRECKER HAS!!

Then we have Crosshair. He is also fucking intelligent. Because sniping is all math. Crosshair mostly doesn’t have a spotter, unless you count Tech, but Tech isn’t always there. So Crosshair has to calculate a lot of different things at one time. The targets speed and path, the distance between himself and them, the angle and height difference if he’s sniping from far away, wind speed and direction if blaster bolts can be effected by the wind and the trajectory he would need to use. And he does all of this very fucking quickly. I mean we’ve all seen how fast he can switch between targets and drop them.

And then we have Tech. He’s a walking encyclopedia. He knows a lot of fucking shit, fuck his little nerd heart would explode if he ever found his way into the jedi archive. He’s just fucking brilliant.

So Hunter’s the dumbass of the group. Wrecker might do dumb shit, but Hunter’s the least intelligent.

Frankly my intelligence ranking from smartest to dumbass would be: Tech Crosshair Wrecker Hunter

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

i love tank force 99