Your Cry Of "they're Totally Gay!!!" Is Valid And I Support You. What I Will Not Tolerate Is You Implying

Another one inspired by the delightful @cptn_rex! (IG) Rex at the aquarium just gave me feels for some reason. I imagine he’d very much appreciate how awesome the underwater world is. As far as we know, he’s never seen it. (Also I have never drawn an aquarium scene and by golly lemme tell ya: it is a doozy.)

At this point I think it would be less gay if they just kissed

Having aesthetic attraction to a character without a trace of any romantic or sexual feelings attached is so strange

It's like there's a guy (gn) on my screen. I like how he looks and the way he moves. I don't want to have sex with him, I don't imagine myself dating him or something of that sort. There's no physical reaction at all.

But there's this ephemeral urge to, I don't know, simultaneously gnaw on him like a bone, study him under a microscope, encase him in chrome and put in my living room, and watch him do the same gesture that ticked me on a loop for approximately three million times?

Does that make sense??

liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

*reading discourse-y posts again* I do think there's often a rejection of any mundane considerations in the jedi, which I sort of get, since they're fantasy space wizards with swords, so any mundanity can feel incongruous, but for me that's part of the charm.

Take for example a discussion about why Anakin didn't visit/follow up on Shmi during his apprenticeship. If I proposed that maybe he could not afford it, that's deeply mundane. The idea that the temple is just really really far away and they didn't have a private ship they could borrow on their off time, and there's not actually a galactic internet he can facetime shmi, a poor farmer, on, that's very mundane for a fantasy space wizard with a sword.

But they're monks. They don't have a salary. They don't have personal wealth. They have some collective resources, and they're granted some resources by various parties. Anakin is eventually able to go to Tatooine when Padme offers to take him there. Maybe he faced censure for the unauthorized trip offscreen, but not enough to affect the plot in any way. Similarly, when Obi Wan goes on a personal mission to help Satine, he borrows Anakin's fixer-upper ship, and he isn't shown to get into trouble for taking a little vacation either (so maybe it's not just that it's super duper strictly forbidden.)

So then like. Yeah, there is a cultural reason for parents not being in contact with children sent to the temple. For sure. There's plenty of spiritual/cultural things going on, that get bound up in this. If it's part of your religion that you're part of greater whole and that some people aren't fundamentally more important than others based on things like blood, there's not going to be a prioritized resource allocation for visiting family members on the other side of the galaxy. Shmi deserves help as an enslaved person, but not more than any other enslaved person. Then maybe you have Quinlan running some op on tatooine, and maybe he could give Anakin some peace of mind, except if that would compromise opsec in any way, in which case that's not his priority. That's a cultural reasoning.

But also maybe sometimes the reason Anakin didn't go sooner is because he didn't have a sugarmama yet and maybe the reason Qui Gon didn't free Shmi is that his mind tricks didn't work on Watto. Maybe the fantasy space wizards with swords have normal-people problems too.

I love this recurring theme that wherever Crosshair goes, he is doomed to connect emotionally to someone and make friends even though he hates everyone. He is gonna be surrounded by people who love him and you bet your ass he is going to complain about it.

do you think the birth families of the jedi mourned when they heard the news about order 66. do you think they worried and that they weeped when the clone wars began and they heard that their children were going off to fight in it. do you think they looked at their calendars and kept track of how old their children had become every birthday. do you think they knew that their child was only 10 when they were murdered during order 66. do you think any jedi went out to find their birth parents after losing the only family they really knew. do you think any families sheltered other escaping jedi, knowing what likely happened to their own. do you think the families cried. do you think they mourned. do you think, even though they hadn't seen their children in years... they still weeped?

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

In a peaceful, No O66 AU, Cody deserves to find a favorite bakery somewhere on Coruscant, somewhere he can order a whole box of buns and pastries to share with Obi-Wan in a Temple courtyard on some sunny day. Maybe they argue about raisins. Obi-Wan (old man-coded) is obviously very pro-raisin, but Cody finds them untrustworthy (buglike) and dislikes the way they disrupt an otherwise perfect texture (bread is perfect, to him).

If you would just try them you would like them, Obi-Wan would say, but Cody will not try them -- picks each raisin out of his pastry, in fact, and throws them to the birds. And Obi-Wan pretends he's not completely endeared by Cody's refusal to give up any crumb of bread that may be eatable. Maybe he Feels something, watching Cody's big capable hands carefully dissect a pastry, supremely fussy about what he wants and what he doesn't.

(It's just 🥺 so silly. And Obi-Wan has seen Cody's hands do so many unsilly things.)

my oc eidami!!

she was raised mandalorian, got seperated from her parents and vod'ika by the empire, and then refound them. eidami also has three (3) partners whom she loves very much.

this is her redesign, might post the original design for her later along with more of her story.