The Take Over, The Break's Over - 9

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 2

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1.2k (chapter 2 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Marin's POV, ex-lovers reunited, forbidden relationship, romantic confession, aftercare, non-sexual nudity/intimacy, angst, regret, jealousy, crying, comfort, fluff, soft Astarion

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

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“The bath’s ready,” Astarion announced, poking his head around the bedroom door. Marin was already asleep on the edge of the bed, though he'd only been gone a few minutes. “Oh, darling. You must be exhausted. Poor thing.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” she mumbled, realizing she'd been asleep. She blinked a few times, clearing the blurriness from her eyes. It had been a terribly long day.

“Don't be. Let's get cleaned up, and you can rest all you want afterwards, hm?” Astarion said softly, extending a hand to help her rise.

The bath was exquisite - a huge wooden tub, filled with warm, delicately scented water and flower petals floating on the top.

“Now, there's room for the both of us in here, but I can wash up elsewhere if you'd like your privacy. Your decision,” Astarion offered.

“Stay,” Marin responded. “I think I'd fall asleep in there, to be honest.”

Astarion chuckled. “As you wish, my dear.”

He helped her lift her dress up over her head, and then took off the tight pants he'd been wearing. He took both piles of clothes, including their undergarments, and placed them in the hall.

“What are you doing?” Marin blurted out.

“Leaving them for my housekeeper. I let her know we'd need yours cleaned for tomorrow.”

“Including my underclothes? Oh, gods, with the mess we made… how mortifying.” She felt a blush spreading down to her bare shoulders.

“I met Evi when she worked in a brothel,” Astarion said with a smirk. “She gets far better wages to clean that sort of mess now. Don't be embarrassed.”

Marin’s face was burning at the thought, but she slipped her leg into the bath without argument.

“Ohhh, it's perfect,” she sighed, climbing in and submerging herself to the chin. Astarion followed suit, sinking down next to her facing the same direction.

“Mmm, yes, it is,” he agreed. They sat together in silence for a while.

“I could take a bath like this every single night,” Marin said absentmindedly.

“You could, if you wanted to,” Astarion responded earnestly. “You can stay here anytime.”

She wasn't sure what to say to that. She kept her eyes closed, completely flushed, turning his words over in her mind: I love you. Was that just one of his charming lines? Does he say that a lot?

“Did you fall asleep?” he asked, pulling her back into the moment. Her eyes sprang open.

“Hm? Uh, maybe.”

“You poor, sweet thing,” Astarion sympathized, his voice like honey. How do I ask him about that? Is there a tactful way to broach the subject?

“Did you mean it?” she blurted out. So much for tact, Marin.

“Hm?”

“When you… uh, never mind,” she muttered. He straightened up a bit, stiffening his posture as he guessed her intentions.

“You mean when we were having sex?”

Leave it to Astarion to find the most uncomfortable way to hold a mirror to your own face. Is he embarrassed too? It's so hard to tell.

“Yeah.”

He sighed, pondering it for a moment before he spoke again. “Well, I suppose I meant it at the time.”

“What does that even mean?” Marin asked, a bit too harshly.

“It was the heat of the moment, darling. A force of habit,” he admitted. Her stomach dropped.

“Yeah, I'll bet you say that to everyone who lets you put your cock in them,” she replied bitterly.

“To everyone? Certainly not, dear,” he snapped, a bit of offense in his voice.

“Then why'd you say it was a habit?”

“From when I was with you, back then,” he clarified. “I used to tell you that all the time. The body remembers things like that.”

She looked away, ashamed for having been so short with him. What in the hells was that? Am I jealous? Of Astarion?

“Are you all right, Marin?” he asked, softly. “You're not upset with me for having sex with other people, surely. Was I meant to remain celibate in your absence?”

She felt tears welling up. She didn't speak, trying to push them back down before he noticed.

“Marin?”

“I'm jealous, okay?” she blurted out. “It's stupid, and it doesn't make any sense, but I am.”

“It's not stupid,” he responded. “Another man gets to hear you say ‘I love you’ while he beds you, year after year. While I'm here in this empty place, alone. Sensible or not, I know how it feels.”

“You're not here alone,” she replied, her words coming out grumpier than intended. “That's ridiculous. I'm sure you've fucked all manner of noblemen, and their wives too.”

“I didn't say my bed was cold, darling,” he sniped. “And besides, that's hardly the same. They were just sex. Distractions, as you mentioned earlier. Elves fall in love once or twice in a long lifetime, or have you forgotten?”

It was no use trying to hold the tears back anymore. They came streaming down her face, stinging her red cheeks and dripping into the bathwater. He put a hand on the side of her face, turning her head towards him, his fingers finally warm.

“What are you crying for? I didn't…” he trailed off. “I was too harsh. I'm sorry, my sweet.”

“No, that's not-” she sobbed, trying to catch her breath. “I haven't felt- I don't- I'm s-sorry-” The thoughts she tried to hold together kept slipping through her fingers.

Astarion pulled her close, bare chest pressed against hers, his wet curls touching the side of her face.

“You're not to blame for my loneliness, dear,” he consoled her, petting her hair. “I was the one who pushed you away by acting like a bastard, and I've been reckoning with that for a long time now. It's nothing new for me.”

“Well, who's to blame for my loneliness, then?” she blubbered.

“Your cheating husband. Your selfish vampire. Take your pick.”

“He's not a bad guy. And neither are you. There must be something wrong with me,” she lamented. He pulled back and held her shoulders, taking a better look at her.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Marin. Let's get you to bed, okay? You'll feel better.”

She nodded, her tears slowing. He stood and got out of the bath, drying himself with a towel before helping her up. He gave her the towel to wrap around herself while they crossed the hall. Her body felt so heavy and cumbersome.

They stepped out of the steamy bathroom, the dirty clothes now missing from the hall. He kept his arm around her shoulders, guiding her back to his bedroom.

Marin sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling woozy, while Astarion hunted through the wardrobe. He returned to her with a nightshirt and some of his underclothes.

“Wear these for tonight,” he said softly. He pulled down the bedding while she dressed, making a comfortable space for her to lay down. She obliged, curling up on her side. She felt him crawl into bed behind her, pulling her into the crook of his body.

“You don't sleep,” she mumbled.

“I'll stay with you anyway,” he whispered in her ear. “I’ll be here when you wake, all right?”

She nodded as she drifted off.

“Now rest, darling.”

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 10

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 700 (chapter 10 of 17)

Setting: Marin's house

Content: Marin's POV, Marin & Asti go to Marin's house for her things, she gets emotional about leaving her old home, she leaves a break-up note for her husband, they're both anxious, Asti comforts her

Warnings: brief talk of leaving an ab*sive relationship

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Marin laid her head on Astarion’s lap in the carriage, unable to relax, despite the comfortable seat and his hand in her hair. They had been laughing and kissing for the first part of the ride, but both had grown increasingly quiet as they approached their destination: her home.

“I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing you to do this, darling,” Astarion insisted quietly. “I’m here to help, and that’s all.”

“You aren’t forcing me,” she replied blankly.

“Are you sure? You feel so far away from me, my love,” he responded. She looked up at him from his lap, her face empty.

“I don’t know how to feel. I’m numb. But I know it’s the right thing.”

His eyes were a pale red in the midday sun; his brow furrowed with concern. 

“This has to come from you,” he insisted. “If you change your mind, you don’t have to go through with it, all right?” She nodded.

“Nearly there, m’lord,” called the driver, Reardon, from the front of the carriage. Marin sat up, looking out the window again, her heart racing.

“It’ll be all right, my love,” Astarion whispered, likely listening to her heartbeat.

They pulled up at the edge of the street. The house looked exactly how she'd left it the night before, thankfully. He hasn't been home yet.

“Did you want me to go in with you?” Astarion asked gently. “If it makes you feel better, I can. But I don't want you to feel pressured just because this is what I want.”

“I want you to,” she mumbled. “I don't know if I'm strong enough.”

“Of course.”

Astarion exited the carriage, standing below and offering a steadying hand up to her. She took it and stepped down herself. My garden, she thought. I won't get to see it anymore. She teared up at the thought.

“What's the matter?”

“My garden,” she admitted. “I'll miss it here, in some ways. It's home.”

“I understand, my sweet,” he replied, sympathetic. “You can plant whatever you’d like again, hm?” She nodded.

He placed his hand gently on her lower back and followed her inside the house. She searched quickly for her things - her clothes, her hairbrush, her favorite books, her old sentimental items. Her favorite blanket, and her old apron, and her gardening tools and seeds. Astarion’s letter from its hiding place. She was leaving all the furniture, food, and anything else she shared with Del behind. Before leaving, she scrawled a short note on a piece of paper, leaving it on the kitchen table:

Delaney, I’m leaving. I’m sorry it had to come to this. We can deal with the paperwork in the future, after things have settled. If you care for me, please allow me space to live my own life. -Marin

Astarion and Reardon helped her take her things to the carriage. Seeing all her belongings collected in bundles reminded her of their adventuring days, when everything they owned came along with them. Is my life here really that small? She would miss the plants, and the little birds who visited the front garden in the morning.

“We should get on the road as soon as possible,” Astarion told her, gently as he could. “I don’t want to run into him if we can help it.”

She looked back at her home before accepting his help into the carriage. Her little life. The love she thought she shared with Del, once. Did he truly care for me, even back then? Perhaps it had all been doomed from the very start.

As they pulled away, Marin could feel her stomach churning. She whimpered with anxiety.

“My sweet, what can I do to help?” Astarion asked, uneasy.

“It hurts so much,” she cried. “I can’t bear to look.”

“Rest on my lap again, darling,” he reassured her, guiding her down to his thighs. He pulled the blanket from her things and laid it across her shoulders. “Everything will be all right. I promise.”

She felt her discomfort easing slightly as he petted her hair, with her favorite blanket covering her. She realized how very tired she was, having spent the night tossing and turning, and the morning worrying. She looked up at Astarion’s gentle face, watching her with concern. Finally, her eyelids started to feel too heavy to keep them open any longer.

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 12

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 1.4k (chapter 12 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, Marin's ab*sive ex shows up looking for her, Astarion does a "muahaha" and literally tortures him oops (sorry I know I was meant to be watching him dammit), Asti has some PTSD stuff and Marin comforts him

Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, PTSD symptoms (Astarion), brief mentions of emotional ab*use

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

First chapter

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee?

3 Days Later

“Lord Astarion,” came Reardon’s voice from the other side of the heavy door. “It’s urgent. Someone’s at the gate.”

Astarion’s heart started to pound at once. The moment I’ve been waiting for. He tossed his book aside, grabbed his dagger and threw a robe over his nightclothes, tying it closed in a hurry. Marin stirred from sleep.

“What’s going on?” she mumbled, confused.

“Stay here, my love,” he whispered, harsher than intended. “You’re safe here. I’ll be back.”

Astarion closed the door behind him and took a deep breath, slowing his movements and putting on an air of confidence. He made his way down the stairs, meeting Reardon at the bottom.

“I’m sorry to disturb your rest, m’lord. I think it’s him.”

“Quite alright,” he muttered. “Send Evi to my room to keep Marin calm. Stay on the landing with them.”

“Of course,” Reardon replied. “The sentries have him under control. No weapons on him. He’s right outside.”

He could feel his heart pounding, but forced himself to remain calm. He opened the front door wide, as if he were greeting a guest.

“You’ve finally arrived,” he snarled. “I’m surprised it took you three days to find me. Tsk, tsk. Perhaps you’re even slower than I reckoned.”

Del was being held between two guards, his eyes wild at the sight of Astarion.

“Please, gentlemen; bring our guest inside for me, will you?” He turned on his heel and strode in before them.

The guards dragged him in, putting him on his knees on the tiled floor, still holding either arm. Astarion brandished his dagger, the precious Rhapsody, with a flourish. He pricked the tip of his own finger, just enough to draw a drop of blood, as Del watched in confusion. He brought the finger to his mouth, licking the fresh blood.

“Mm, delicious,” he mused, turning his eyes towards Del, grinning to be sure his fangs showed. “Now, I don’t think you wish to challenge me, hm? That would be… so very dangerous.”

Del shook his head, apparently realizing his position.

“Thank you for your excellent service,” he said coolly to the guards. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak with him. Alone.”

The two armed fighters looked at each other, then to Astarion, before releasing their grip on the captive.

“We’ll be right outside, my lord,” one replied as they took their leave.

“Now that it’s just the two of us,” he growled down at Del, on his knees a few feet away. “I’d like to share what’s on my mind.”

“Marin wouldn’t come here to be with a little dandy like you,” Del shouted. “And a fucking vampire. You must have taken her, you monster!”

“I’m not sure you know who exactly you’re speaking to, darling,” he drawled, his voice calm. He bared his fangs again, summoning a black mist around him, feeding off the fear in the man’s eyes. Some theatrics before I crush you.

“Now, Delaney,” he hissed, every syllable sharp. He twirled Rhapsody with ease as he spoke. “I’d like to tell you how I came to control this place. I killed the vampire lord who owned it before me, by sacrificing him to a devil. I carved his flesh with this very weapon, in fact. And through that ritual, I was imbued with more power than any vampire in Faerun has ever known. More power than your tiny mind can comprehend. Now, since you’re already on your knees, perhaps I’ll allow you to beg for your life to be spared, like he did.”

Del watched him, eyes wide, seemingly trying to discern if he was serious.

“Go on!” Astarion shrieked suddenly, his voice ricocheting in the enormous hall. “Beg!”

“Please, don’t kill me, I’m- I’m sorry for trespassing-”

“Ha! You think that’s what this is about?” he snarled. “You really are slow, aren’t you? I want you to apologize for hurting my lovely Marin. Perhaps, if I like what I hear, I’ll pass your message along.”

“I love her-”

“I don’t want to hear such nonsense,” he growled, cutting Del off by gripping his jaw, hard enough to inflict pain. “I told you to apologize.”

“I’m s- I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did, please don’t-”

“Pathetic,” he sniped, cutting him off again. “You know exactly what you did. You hurt her, and now, I’m going to hurt you.”

Astarion moved swiftly and noiselessly, taking one of Del’s wrists in his hand, slashing at his arm with the dagger. He writhed and screamed, trying to pull away from his powerful grip. Astarion yanked his bloodied forearm to his mouth and drank from the wound. He pushed Del onto the marble, placing his heel on the man’s stomach and kneeling down.

Astarion drew the knife across his chest slowly, over and over, slicing through his clothes and letting out a wicked, manic laugh. He kept him pinned with his foot as he worked, bathing in his screams of agony.

“Astarion, no!” Marin’s echoing voice stopped him in his tracks. He pressed the dagger to Del’s throat before turning his head to look at her. At the top of the stairs, his servants were holding her back, trying to keep her from running into danger. Gods damn it. They were supposed to keep her upstairs; to keep her from seeing this.

“Please, Astarion, stop!” she cried, desperate. “Don’t kill him, please!”

He looked back down to the disgusting creature writhing and bleeding beneath his foot. I wanted to kill the bastard slowly. But she’s seen enough death for seven lifetimes. Especially after what I did. I can’t make her watch this. With great struggle, Astarion wrested control from the bloodthirsty monster inside him, longing to slit the man’s throat and bathe in his blood.

“This is her mercy, not mine,” he growled slowly, keeping his dagger still against Del’s neck as he knelt to lean close to his face. “I would have enjoyed killing you, slowly and painfully. If you ever return, I will end your life without hesitation. Hm?”

Del nodded, his eyes huge and terrified.

“I’ll be watching you,” he snarled, down to a whisper. “For the rest of your wretched life. You will never again take advantage of her kind heart or trouble her mind.”

“Let him go,” Astarion yelled to the guards outside in advance. He relaxed the blade, standing and taking the pressure off of his chest. Del immediately scrambled to his hands and knees and out the front door, running for his life. He stood and watched, motionless, before letting the bloodied Rhapsody fall from his hand. The heavy dagger clattered to the ground and broke the deafening silence left behind.

“I’m so sorry, my love,” he called out, not turning to look at her, still frozen in place. “I’m sorry that you saw. You don’t need to be afraid.”

He heard quick footsteps down the stairs, and turned to see Marin running towards him, slipping in her bare feet across the smooth floor. He absorbed her force as she crashed into him. He buried his head in her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Marin,” he whispered, feeling manic. “I’m sorry. I wanted to make him pay for what he did, to make him suffer-”

“Cazador is dead, Astarion,” she insisted. His whole body stiffened upon hearing his tormentor’s name, his stomach churning. “You don’t need to be afraid anymore. You don’t need to kill him ever again.”

“What in the hells-”

“You were the same way at the ritual,” she whimpered. “You were so scared then, and you did a terrible thing because of it. I couldn’t watch it happen again.”

“I’m not scared of Del,” he snapped, his tone harsher than he ever used with her. “I wanted to taste his fear. I was going to torture him to death. I only stopped because I… I know you’ve seen enough.”

“You were afraid of losing me. Afraid he could hurt me. But you don’t need to kill him to keep me safe, Astarion.”

Hearing those words, he felt a wave of sorrow rising inside him. All his defenses fell. He burst into tears, sobbing mournfully into her shoulder. Her long hair stuck to his cheeks.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” he lamented. “I don’t know why it hurts.”

“It’s all right, love,” she whispered, holding him tight. “It’s all right to hurt.”

"I feel so normal about him" well I dont. move

Name a better feeling than getting the first comment on a fic you were uncertain about and knowing that at least one person liked the tiny piece of your brain that you put on the internet

Part 3 so far of this WIP, will post properly soon

Ascended Astarion x Tav (Marin, female) Rating: E Content: Astarion gets a letter after Marin leaves, has one hand-delivered in return (for secrecy), Marin's husband being nasty to her, she comes to visit again and they bang, Astarion gets some bitey urges Warnings: Mentions and brief description of emotional ab*se towards Marin, vampire bite

“My lord,” came Evi’s muffled voice from beyond his study door. “The evening post has arrived.”

Astarion rose from his desk immediately. There wasn't much point in hoping, but he did, every time. He opened the door and took the envelopes from her hands.

“Thank you,” he muttered absent-mindedly, thumbing through them right in front of her. Is that-

“You're welcome,” Evi responded with a knowing smile, excusing herself. One was addressed in Marin’s handwriting, Ld. Astarion Ancunín, with a return address reading only M. He took it to his desk and cut it open immediately, his heart racing, careful not to slice through her handwriting on the envelope.

Dearest Astarion,

The days have been so dull since we parted. Del has been watching me more carefully than usual since his return, and I’ve been busy with my housework. I don't think he suspects me of our visit, but I have been more absentminded than usual, which may have set him on edge. I've been trying to keep up with my duties around the house, so as not to alert him to any changes. However, I think of our time together ceaselessly.

I long to join you again. Even returning to the bustle of Baldur's Gate felt magical compared to this town, and reminded me of our adventuring days. Del won't tell me the next time he goes out of town until a few days in advance, so I'm unsure how long it will be until I can get away again. I wish we could be together already, but we will have to wait for the next opportunity, my silver star.

My garden is thriving as the weather warms, which is cheering me up. I planted a few beets early this spring, and I think of you when tending to the sprouts. (because of the red juice)

I will write again as soon as I can. I have to be careful with this letter and will place it in the public postbox myself. In the meantime, I hope you are thinking of me the way I think of you. Our night together was far more special to me than a merely physical affair.

All my love,

Marin

Below the writing, there was a tiny doodle of a vampire (is it me?) looking at a beet.

Astarion leaned back as he finished reading, slumping down in his seat, his chest aching. She is so sweet. He almost felt guilty for being aroused at the conjured memories of her in his bed, but he knew it wasn’t a reflection of his heart. She is so much more to me.

~~~~~

“Evi, would you mind taking a day trip for me tomorrow?” Astarion simpered into the kitchen where she was sweeping up.

“Of course, my lord.” she replied. “What sort of errand might it be?”

“It's beyond the Gate. A couple of hours by carriage,” he explained. “I have a letter to be hand-delivered. It's a bit of a… delicate task, so to speak.”

Evi grinned at those words, pretending to busy herself with sweeping. “And who might be the recipient?”

“Marin,” he admitted, feeling his heart flutter as he said it aloud.

“And the postal service won't run it for you, hm?” she replied, smiling to herself.

“Cheeky,” he grumbled. “She's married.”

“Married?”

“Yes, all right?” he snapped, a bit annoyed at her for prying into his life. “I can't take the chance it will fall into the hands of her husband. That's why the post office won't do. You’re a woman, so you won’t raise suspicion if you’re seen speaking to her. I need you to deliver it personally.”

She avoided his sharp gaze, a small blush across her tanned cheeks. “Of course, my lord.”

“Thank you,” he growled. “She should be at home during the daytime. I'd like you to wait out of sight until the afternoon, when the husband leaves for work. I'm not sure what hour he leaves the house, mind you - only that he works in a tavern. Bring something to keep busy while you wait.”

“Understood, my lord.”

“I’ll provide you with some extra gold for your discretion,” he impressed upon her, speaking carefully. “I'm paying you more than usual to take most of the day off, Evi. It needs to be done exactly right. This is a matter of her safety.”

She stopped pretending to work and met his eyes, looking sincere. “There’s no need to worry, Lord Astarion. I won't let you down.”

~~~~~

Marin loaded the bread dough into the oven, drying the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand as she stepped away.

“You smell like an ox,” Del chided as he entered the kitchen.

Marin sighed to herself. “I'm sorry. The oven is hot. Baking is hard work, you know.”

He snickered as if the very idea was foolish, making her cheeks burn.

“Speaking of hard work, I'm off,” he muttered as he finished fastening his buttons. “Behave yourself, a’right?”

She swallowed the urge to say something nasty. “Of course I will, dear.”

“Good,” he replied, kissing her on the cheek. She plastered a smile on her face and followed him to the door.

“Have a good night,” she called as he started down the path. He responded with a half-hearted thanks, not looking back.

“Fucking prick,” she whispered to herself once the door was shut. He seemed to have grown more irritating since her return, but maybe that was imagined. He was acting the same as always, while something inside her had changed.

She took off her apron and grabbed the cushion and gloves she used for her garden. She left the door open behind her so that she could smell the bread cooking, as a reminder.

She perched on the stones around her front garden, the cushion under her knees. Feeling the sun warm her hair from behind and smelling the soil, she felt the stress of dealing with Del melt away.

“My lady?” came a woman’s voice from behind her. My lady? Marin turned to see a cloaked figure walking up her garden path. She dropped her hood as she approached, revealing a familiar face.

“...Evi?”

“Good afternoon, my lady. I come bearing a parcel from Lord Ancunín,” she announced, speaking formally as if Marin had any social standing.

“A letter? Oh, um, thank you,” she stuttered. “You didn't run into anyone on your way up the path, did you?”

“I waited for his departure before I approached,” Evi reassured her. “Lord’s orders. He wants me to confirm that you're all right.”

Marin’s face burned thinking of Astarion’s concern for her. “I am, thank you.”

“Excellent. I have one more gift from his lordship.” Evi reached into her bag, pulling out a single orange, fragrant and perfectly ripe.

“Oh, thank you!” Marin took it from her, delighted with the surprise.

“Have a pleasant day, Lady Marin,” she said, pulling up her hood before walking down the path.

“You too,” she responded, feeling like she was in a dream. She floated inside, closing the front door and putting her back against the inside of it. She held the letter tightly to her chest, her heart pounding. She checked the oven before scurrying down the hall, letter and orange in hand. She didn't want to be caught reading it in plain view, on the tiny chance Del came home for something. She locked the bedroom door behind her, sank into the bed, and opened the envelope, addressed only Marin. The letter was written on thick, expensive paper, with Astarion's careful calligraphy folded up inside.

Marin, my sweet,

I was heartened to see your letter this evening. I miss you terribly, darling. Your visit has served as a harsh reminder of my empty bed and lonely existence. Of course, I do not blame you for that. Our time together was far more valuable to me than any continued delusion of self-sufficiency. Your joyful presence feels like sunshine on my skin after so many years in the darkness, a bittersweet feeling with which I am intimately familiar.

We disagreed at the time of my ascension on your vampiric transformation. I recall the details of those arguments quite clearly when I am lonely and disappointed in myself. I want you to know that I will accept you in any form, my love. I am not the man I used to be, but I realize I will have to prove myself worthy of your trust.

I will happily make space for you in my life if you ever feel ready for a future with me. I want nothing else as much as I want to see you happy. There is a greenhouse here which is hardly used, and it makes me long to see you working on your garden to your heart's content.

You are welcome here anytime, my dear. I hope you know that I eagerly await our next meeting. Until then, I will think of you anytime my mind wanders, as I do already.

Stay safe, darling.

Yours eternally,

Astarion

Your comment about beetroot juice made me smile. You enjoyed the fresh oranges when you were here, so I hope you will smile for me in return.

Marin flopped back on the bed, the letter pressed to her heart as if it were part of him. She stared blankly up at the rafters, tears running down her face and into her hair.

~~~~~

“Lord Astarion, you have a visitor at the door,” Evi announced formally, poking her head into the sitting room.

Astarion scowled, looking up from his book over the rim of his reading glasses. “I'm not expecting anyone. Who the hells is it?”

“Marin,” she giggled.

“What in the- Gods damn you, Evi!” Astarion snarled, nearly dropping his book as he jumped to his feet. “That's not funny!”

Marin appeared behind her at the entryway. Evi left with a smirk on her face.

“She thinks she’s terribly clever, baiting me like that. She's meant to be my employee,” Astarion grumbled, before softening up. “My sweet, what are you doing here?”

“Del went out of town for the night, so I hurried through all my chores and caught a carriage straight here,” Marin muttered excitedly, putting her arms around his waist. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you terribly, my dear,” he whispered, one hand in her hair. “It's been too long.”

“It's been sixteen days,” she giggled. “I counted.”

He pulled back from her hug a little, his hands on her shoulders. “My schedule is cleared. What shall we do?”

She kissed him, pulling him by the front of his shirt. Oh, Gods. He felt himself growing stiff right away and pulled back.

“My bedroom, then,” he purred, trying to keep control of himself.

“Yes,” she giggled again, her cheeks pink.

He swept her off her feet, surprising her, picking her up under the knees to carry her. She let out a tiny shriek and burst into laughter. He strode quickly out of the sitting room and crossed the main floor to the staircase.

“Are you my fairytale prince?” she asked playfully.

“Darling, you wound me!” he joked as he carried her up the stairs, his voice high and overly dramatic. “Here I thought I was the vampire lord from your dirtiest novel.”

Marin turned bright red and laughed too loud. He finally set her down in his bedroom, breathless from the action.

“Hells, I forgot how much work that would be,” he chuckled. “Perhaps I'm all out of stamina now.”

Instead of responding with a joke, Marin pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Gods above. He could feel himself growing rapidly harder with her hands moving hungrily across his body.

“I missed you so, so much,” she pouted.

“Really? Let me see…” Astarion reached down under her mid-length skirt, snaking up her thigh. She jumped at his cold touch, but didn't pull away. He felt between her legs. Oh… Gods. She was soaked all the way through, to the point his fingers came away wet from even the outside of her underclothes. His cock went hopelessly hard.

“Oh, Marin,” he whispered.

“I want you so badly,” she whined, feeling clumsily for the outline of him through his pants. “I haven't had much privacy since I saw you. I'm desperate.”

He felt his cheeks and ears grow warm. “I wish I could say the same for the cause of my own desperation. It's a little embarrassing, with how much you've been on my mind, and I'm here alone…” he trailed off, feeling his cock pulse against her hand, giving him away. Marin looked up at him, bright pink.

“Really?” she whispered, a big smile on her face. “And how does that look?”

“A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, darling,” Astarion joked, grimacing with embarrassment.

“Well, it's a good thing you aren't a gentleman, then,” she teased, smirking flirtatiously. “Because I want to know about the fun you had without me.”

“Gods, you don't really, do you?” he replied, searching her eyes for signs of a joke.

“I'll let you touch me if you show me how you touch yourself,” she giggled. His head swirled at the thought of touching her again.

“Deal,” he whispered. “Now, off with your clothes and under the covers with you.”

Both of them quickly got down to their underclothes and slipped under the blankets.

“I wait until I know I'm alone and sure to be undisturbed,” he whispered. “And then I, uh…” He mimed a jerking motion.

“No fair! You're not getting off that easy,” Marin teased. They both snickered at the double entendre. “You have to show me or you're not getting any prizes, you swindler.”

Astarion closed his eyes and groaned, his stomach muscles tense. “All right, I'll show you, but you owe me. You'd better hold up your end of the deal.”

Marin nodded eagerly. He pulled his cock out, sliding his underclothes off, and rolled onto his side, facing the edge of the bed. He opened a drawer on his side table, pulling out a bottle of oil and getting some into his hand. Her big eyes watched his every move.

He rolled back towards her and put his oiled hand down under the covers. She tented them with her hand so she could watch him. He worked the oil down the length of himself and groaned a little. He jerked himself for a few seconds and then stopped, looking expectantly into her eyes, his cock still in his hand.

“You can touch me, but don't stop touching yourself,” she whispered. He groaned but turned onto his back to free up his pinned arm. She wiggled out of her own undergarments and positioned herself within his reach.

“And what do you do then?” she asked, gasping as he put his hand on her cunt. “If I'm not here.”

“I think of you. Of this,” he whispered, pushing his fingers inside of her. She inhaled as he felt around, finding the right spot.

“What part of it?” She watched with interest as his hand moved smoothly up and down his cock.

“Every part. The way you kiss me, the way you grab at me, the way you pull my clothes off…” She shifted herself up onto her knees, sinking all the way down onto his fingers with a tiny moan. He beckoned towards himself, looking up at her. “I think of how dripping wet you are for me, and the way you beg me to touch you.”

Instead of responding with more questions, Marin moaned and rolled her pelvis. She rubbed herself on his palm, looking down at him with lidded eyes.

“I think about the way you sound, darling,” he huffed, getting carried away watching her. He was trying to touch himself slowly for her sake, rather than desperately seeking a release like when he was truly alone.

“Yeah?” she moaned, her voice raising a bit higher. She pulled the blankets back to watch him stroking himself. She kept rubbing against his palm while he worked his fingers inside.

“And I think of how amazing it feels when you- oh- touch me,” he muttered between his own moans. Marin's mouth fell open, her noises spilling out. “And when you have my cock in your mouth.”

“Ohhh, Astarion,” she whined, rocking faster against his hand. Gods, she is so beautiful.

“And the perfect way you- the way you feel when I’m inside,” he groaned, slowing down further on himself. “How good you feel when you're all around me. Your beautiful face when you're mad with lust, and when you- hah- float away as you come…”

Marin cried out louder and fucked his hand harder. Her hip movements were spotty and stiff, and her eyes widened, focusing on his. She must be close. He took his hand off of himself and instead grabbed at her breast from his place below her.

“Ast- arion I'm- going to come-” she whimpered in broken sounds.

“Yes, darling, please,” he purred. She cried out loudly, slamming her eyes shut.

“As- Asta-” she moaned, trying to make out his long name through her ecstasy. He felt her pulsing around his fingers. Thank the Gods. He could hardly bear the wait.

“You're so lovely, my dear,” he admired, keeping his fingers still as she came down from her high. “Do you want my cock?” She nodded, her eyes halfway open. He sat up and positioned himself behind her.

“Is this all right, my love?” he asked. She nodded again. He gently pushed her forward onto her elbows and knees. He looked down at her cunt as he prepared himself, lining up carefully. He felt his tension melt into bliss as she surrounded him.

“Oh, Gods, Marin,” he groaned with relief. “You are so slick, darling. You're perfect.”

He used one hand to pull her pelvis as close to his as he possibly could, eliciting a moan. He put the other on the bed to prop himself up above her. He curled down close to her body like they were animals, fucking her from behind, their sounds and bodies mingling. Her heartbeat was pounding in his ears, and he longed to bite her tender neck, to taste her again for the first time in forever. His vampiric pains were gone since his ascension, but he still felt the urge to bite. I can't, he thought. Not her. Not yet. I have to restrain myself.

“I wish I could taste you, my love,” he panted. “You smell… so lovely.”

She moaned as if the thought were invigorating for her. He felt his self-control starting to slip as he got more and more overwhelmed by the sensation. Oh, shit. He stopped moving, making her whimper at the loss.

“I can't stay like this, Marin,” he whispered breathlessly in her ear. “I want to bite you so damned bad. Get on top of me and keep away from my mouth, all right?”

He used his remaining willpower to pull away from her and lay down. She clumsily positioned herself over him, lined up his cock, and sank down all the way to his hips. His eyes were fixed on her hands, flat on his chest.

“I'm sorry, my love,” he whimpered. “It's so hard to control myself right now. Your wrists.”

She pulled her hands away in a hurry, placing them behind her on his thighs, all of her extremities out of his fangs’ reach.

“Is this all right?” she whined, her voice high and desperate.

“You're perfect,” he huffed, putting his hands on her knees. “Fuck me just like this.”

She rocked against his pelvis and moaned loudly. He felt the pleasure in his belly building, pushing him closer to the edge.

“Are you close, my love?” he panted, holding back. She nodded, her eyes wide. He thrusted up into her, hard, bouncing her on his hips.

“Astarion!” she cried out, and he felt her pulse around his cock. He thrusted as deep as he could, desperately seeking his own relief.

Marin looked a little woozy as she came back down from her peak, and one of his thrusts sent her top half tumbling down towards him. She caught herself on his chest with her hands, her beautiful pale wrists landing in front of his face again, right as he reached the point of no return. Oh no, Marin, oh no, ohnonono-

“Shit- unh-” Astarion threw his own arm across his face and bit down, deep into his own bicep. He felt the tang of blood in his mouth, his arm burning with the strength of his hardest bite, and the pleasure in his core slipping out of his control. He cried into his upper arm, latched on tight, as he rolled his hips into her and came, hard. His muffled sounds were loud and visceral.

He unlatched his jaw, his arm falling away from his face and his chest heaving. What in the sweet hells was that? He usually had little trouble controlling his fangs, and the urge was rarely that strong to begin with. Not anymore.

“Astarion? Are you all right?”

He opened his eyes to Marin, sitting motionless on his lap, shining with sweat. The look in her eyes was almost afraid. Of me? Shit. I must have looked like a monster.

“Yes, I'm all right now,” he managed between breaths. She seemed to calm down, hearing his voice again. “I'm sorry if I frightened you, my love. I don't know what came over me. I was so afraid of leaving a mark on you, after what you said. And I never want to bite you as hard as I’m able to.”

“It’s all right,” she reassured him, climbing down from his lap. “I'm sorry for the trouble.”

“I'm the one with the urge to bite people, my dear,” he chuckled, trying to comfort her. “You’re no trouble at all.”

“I miss it too,” she muttered, almost to herself. Astarion stared at her in surprise.

“Oh, um,” she stumbled. “Being bitten, I mean. I liked it when you fed on me back then. You were always tipsy afterwards, and grateful, and… aroused, if you weren't already.”

“Yes, it's an… intimate act,” he managed, embarrassed at his past self. “I always assumed you were just going along with it, because of how badly I needed it back then, when I was so hungry.”

“Of course not,” she responded with a gentle smile, laying next to him in the crook of his unbitten arm. “And besides, it's like making a meal for someone. It's nice to feel needed.”

“I suppose so,” Astarion mused, staring up at the canopy. “I still do, you know. Need you. I’d forgotten how badly.”

“Me too,” Marin said quietly. He turned to look at her.

“I’m not quite sure why you would,” he admitted. “I don’t know what I can really provide for you, Marin. Besides money, I suppose.”

“You make me feel safe,” she whispered. “Like I could tell you anything. Like you can see the person inside, and you want me anyway.”

Astarion’s heart jumped into his throat. Gods, how I want you.

mind empty only asstarion

no, babe, i dont do casual. its mind numbing devotion for all eternity or nothing

"I really have to get going"

"Make me stop, then", he suggests with his lips against the sensitive skin on the side of her waist, sending a tickling wave up and down. Hands like snakes, arms like vines, voice like honey (if honey could taunt). "Just say it, pet. Stop, my love, I have to go. I have better things to do."

With each word his hand draws a loose spiral over her stomach until he's lifting the border of the underwear and by then it is too late, it was always going to be too late, the moment he touched her, and he knows it. His fingers part her lips and find her already wet. If Awbonee was too proud maybe she'd take offence at the way he relishes it, because Astarion is a sore loser but can be an even worse winner.

"Go on then. Tell me to stop. Make me."

It was never going to happen, and at least he has the decency to hide his smile when she sinks back towards him.

-------------------------------------

prompt 17 from the drabbles list, "make me". be patient with me I haven't written in English (or Spanish either) in ages 😔

The Take Over, The Break's Over - 13

Ascended Astarion x Marin (Tav/OC, cis woman)

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Words: 600 (chapter 13 of 17)

Setting: A!Astarion's palace

Content: Astarion's POV, Astarion's PTSD is really bad after last chapter, Marin comforts him, they talk about the ritual and other stuff from the past

Warnings: PTSD symptoms and mentions of ab*se (Astarion's past) and violence

This is not the place for anti-A!A discourse. I love both versions of Astarion, and it's okay to have issues with the Ascendant route, but I will block you if you clown on these posts~

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Astarion laid his head back on the edge of the tub, letting the warm water calm his senses and quiet his mind. The water was a pale, transparent pink from the dissolving blood. He stared blankly at the tiled wall where it met the ceiling.

“May I come in?” Marin’s muffled voice asked from the other side of the door.

He nodded faintly, before remembering she couldn’t see him. “Yes,” he mumbled, his voice low.

He flicked his eyes to her form as she entered the room, wearing one of Astarion’s robes, shutting the door behind her. Her hair was wet from the bath. She perched on the edge of the tub, watching him.

“My silver star,” she fawned, trying to soothe him. “I’m so glad you’re not injured.”

He stared straight ahead, numb.

“I attacked him. He was unarmed.”

“But so much can go wrong in a fight,” she responded. “We both know that. And I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Am I?” he muttered, almost to himself. “I feel so very… hollow.”

“Please, Astarion,” she whined. “Come back to me, my love.”

He turned his head, taking in her gentle face, full of sympathy and concern. For me. Those oceanic eyes. Marin.

“I’m a killer,” he said flatly, reciting from memory. “A monster.”

Her eyebrows furrowed hearing that.

“That’s not how I see you,” she responded, her voice soft. “No matter what was done to you, or what you were made to do.”

“I was enjoying his pain, Marin,” he muttered. “Of my own volition. Just like I enjoyed Cazador’s. I’m a terrible, evil man. I’m a monster. I don’t deserve to be loved.”

“But you feel my pain, don’t you?” she countered. “You’d do everything under the sun to make it better. You’ve said so a thousand times.”

He nodded, meeting her eyes.

“Then you’re not a monster,” she went on. “You’re not him, Astarion. Cazador was a monster. He deserved to die, and it was the only way out. I will never blame you for killing him, my love.”

“But all those other people… They’re dead because of me. Suffering in Avernus, instead of me.”

“And Cazador would never have felt guilty, if he’d gone through with the ritual,” she replied. “He would have killed them all, extinguished my precious star, and never worried about it for as long as he lived. You’re not him.”

He submerged his head, thinking as he worked the dried blood off of his face and hair. He re-emerged to her still staring at him with concern.

“You missed some,” she remarked, reaching for a cloth. “Here.”

She wetted the cloth and rubbed his sensitive elf ear; behind his earlobe, and inside the conch, close to the opening. He relaxed his eyelids and subconsciously tipped his head towards the side she was touching. His inner ear felt pleasantly fuzzy with the stimulation. He regained his senses as she moved her hand away.

“Why are you so kind to me, Marin?”

“You’ve been kind to me,” she responded without hesitation. “And besides, you deserve it, even if you don’t believe you do.”

He stared quietly up into her blue-green eyes, feeling like she was sucking the poison out and replenishing him, as she often had, years ago. She gave him a gentle smile, holding his gaze.

“I think I’m clean enough,” he muttered finally. “I want to rest.”

“Me too,” she admitted. “I’m exhausted.”

He put his hand on hers as she turned to get up from the edge of the tub.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For caring.”

“Always, my love.”