At A Party And A Guy Was Telling Me About How One Of His Coworkers Was Complaining About How He Thought

At a party and a guy was telling me about how one of his coworkers was complaining about how he thought his dealer was lacing his heroin with cocaine and then the party guy was like “but his dealer was his brother” and I said “that’s some cocaine and abel shit” and the joke flopped so hard but I stand by it so I had to share it somewhere

More Posts from Realhumanipromise and Others

1 year ago

Pronouns are legos, and I'm a caffeinated 12 year old.

pronouns don't mean gender and it should not be the base assumption that they do. send post


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1 year ago

If you pledged to James Somerton's Patreon, go CANCEL YOUR PLEDGE before you get charged and REPORT HIM TO THE PLATFORM!

If You Pledged To James Somerton's Patreon, Go CANCEL YOUR PLEDGE Before You Get Charged And REPORT HIM

He reactivated his page today with no update to notify his patrons that he'd done so, having scrubbed all but two posts, under the claim that this is to allow everyone to pull their pledges before they get charged in January. The problem with this explanation is that nobody would be charged if he hadn't reactivated the page in the first place, and a creator can remove patrons from their end at any time—and yet, all 3600+ supporters are still attached to the newly-reactivated page.

James didn't do this to let people revoke their pledges, he did it in the hopes that people wouldn't notice and he could get at least one more month's worth of income from the platform.

Do not give this man another penny of your money. Revoke your pledge and report him to the platform.

2 years ago

customer service be like:

The text "Mankind sucks the life out of you" above an drawing of a smiley-face

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10 months ago

He's got the same blanket as (and a similar expression to) my dog lol

He's Got The Same Blanket As (and A Similar Expression To) My Dog Lol

Yes there is a second underneath; she likes her cushioning.

It’s Like He Knows I’m Going To Take His Balls Today

it’s like he knows I’m going to take his balls today


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3 years ago

Everybody do something.

My mum has colleagues in india who have had family members die because they couldn't get oxygen. I may be a bit late, I only started actively tumblring yesterday, but please...

Everybody do something.

So, India is dying.

Look, I know a good number of you are from the US and things aren't amazing there either, but my country is literally on the brink of collapse. So I'd love it if we could talk about that for a minute.

If you can't do anything else, please just read and reblog.

A second COVID wave has taken out the healthcare system. There are no more hospital beds. There's an oxygen shortage. There's a critical vaccine shortage. The Central Government has thrown its hands up and is passing the baton to the State Governments to do what they can.

There are over 16 million covid cases. A record 330,000 new cases reported yesterday - comparable to the US at its peak. 187,000 dead as of today.

There is no plan.

Mass cremations are taking place. The cremation grounds are running day and night and they are short on wood. People are watching their loved ones die while waiting for a hospital bed, and then they're unable to give them the proper burial rights.

So, India Is Dying.

Hospitals are overwhelmed. Patients are being confined, two to a bed. They're the lucky ones.

So, India Is Dying.

We are on the verge of people dying in the streets.

This is the second-most populous country in the world. The largest democracy. A country that encapsulates over 15,000 years of recorded human history and has endured everything from famine to invasion to colonisation.

We might be at the end. This might be the thing that does us in.

People are dying.

So, India Is Dying.

People are dying.

So, India Is Dying.

People are dying and there is no plan.

So, India Is Dying.

More good news? Variants are popping up. A double mutation strain has shown up. It is resistant to current vaccines. This will not go away. This is the devastation they warned of when the anti-maskers were out protesting the minor inconvenience of covering their face in public.

My country is on the verge of an emergency state. Our government has failed us. This is as dire a situation as it ever could be.

Look. I don't do much with my life. I write fics, some of you have read them and that's pretty much it. I spend my days with my head in the clouds because that's where I like to be.

But two days ago, my grandmother tested positive, had to be taken to hospital and the ambulance caught fire.

She barely made it to the urgent care she needs.

So, here I am, using whatever meager platform I have to cobble this request together. Because I have to do something.

If you can, donate.

Or spread the word.

Help. Please.

1 year ago

Yet again relating to a post so hard I have to re-evalute my whole ass gender.

> ok with hindsight this enby thing should've been fucking obvious

hey can you elaborate cause im also not sure what I am and it's been creeping into my mind occasionally lately (cause of awesome trans friends)

and you're cool so I also just wanna know

well firstly its the fact that the pronoun they feels good for me. i like being called they. also its that i like the idea of being androgynous, like my ideal body would be one where you couldn't tell whether i was a boy or girl. really for me it was what felt right. being a boy feels right, not being a boy also feels right

3 years ago

So I'm in France, celebrating my nan's birthday, and I decide "hey, maybe I should check the news. Maybe that would be a good idea". And the UK is on 300,000 cases a day. What the fuck. If I get stuck here I swear to whatever god is still listening I will lose my shit.


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1 year ago
You don't have a male or female brain – the more brains scientists study, the weaker the evidence for sex differences
Rather than distinctly male or female, the human brain is much more like the heart, kidneys and lungs – basically the same no matter the sex of the body it's in.

rb to make a biological essentialist mad <3

1 year ago

3ds hungry feed it ten million pirated games

1 year ago

penis migration

relaxing up here on my

Penis Migration

penis space station

Every time I see my mutuals post in their native tongue that I don't understand I'm like yes 🥰 that's language babes 💖

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realhumanipromise - The Ramblings of a Human
The Ramblings of a Human

I am a human I swear / 18 / Pan / Any pronouns / I do not post much

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