At What Age Do You Accept That You And Your Digestive System Are Never Gonna Be Friends Again

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

pop up ads on pirating websites are so fucking funny. "do you want sex?" if I wanted to have sex do you really think I'd be watching doctor who. answer quickly

I need this

For weird dice Wednesday, here is my bard d20, wood with musical notes instead of numerals.

while you were fucking around, athena, artemis and hestia were studying the blade, the bow and the barbecue

the fact that we need 8 hours of sleep is ridiculous we should only need 4 and the other 4 should be used to be cozy in your bed and rub your legs together like a cricket and listen to music and think about your little scenarios

the bad kids + text posts: fabian (aramais) seacaster edition

it's international asexuality day! remember to celebrate by giving ur local asexual 100$ and listening to the m o s t graphic sex joke that you'd never expect from them 💜

imagine ur garthy o’brien, just trying to fuck this hot ranger you met at your brothel that you own, except her teenage kids/wards/bosses keep knocking on the door to your bedroom and interrupting you guys and THEN you learn that she’s actually in a committed relationship but didn’t tell you, so THAT sucks but THEN one of the teens comes and finds you in the middle of the night yelling about how his friend is gone and they can’t find him and he might be in danger, so you help him teleport to his friend, and then when they all get back, looking extremely upset and dejected, you apologize to the ranger’s daughter for making her feel uncomfortable by fucking her mother and in the process SHE reveals to you that her mom’s boyfriend is actually this really cool werewolf guy that you KNOW and have fucked on multiple occasions

i should wake up and automatically be restored to full health, that's how sleeping should work, what is this horseshit