Reallysaneguy - Erm.

lil doodle from the other day born out of an overwhelming annoyance that for some reason body hair is associated with masculinity despite Everyone Having It. so why not draw a cute hairy girl about it

[image description: a drawing of a tan-skinned woman with brown and blond dyed hair pulled into a ponytail and copious body hair and stubble. she is smiling and doing a peace sign gesture with her hand. next to her is text saying "body hair has no gender!" end id]

after catching up on every post I've missed since my absence from foolsocracy, I would like to apologize for what I've done to him.

So I have a Spider-Noir AU and I think it's pretty swell

so basically. yeah. Uhm. Well. So first off, I would like to mention that I was, in fact, in a manic episode when I got the idea. so you cant be mean to me. Look, I know this sounds crazy guys but PLEASE IT'S MY EVERYTHING

He's always been a really mad character. the first thing he did after getting his powers is go to kill goblin. So I figured, lets amp it up by 100. So now, unintentionally, I made him a mix of Punisher and Jigsaw. But he's cooler and more interesting because... uh... he's him? Yeah.

If you couldn't tell by the beautiful graphic, massive trigger warning. this gets graphic. like, REALLY gorey graphic. I don't know why nor how I got these ideas. but yeah. warning for that.

To start off, SCREW THE 2020 NOIR COMICS. THOSE ARE NOT HIM!!! THOSE ARE SO NOT HIM!!! THOSE ARE FAN SERVICE!!!! I am the fan though. That one panel with his double Ds is, in fact, my lockscreen. BUT THATS NOT THE POINT!!! the point is, it's a continuation of the 2009 comics. actually, it continues after Spider-Geddon. Because 2 can play the back from the dead game. Since it's a continuation, I beg of you to please read his comics. please. please oh my god they're so good. like oh my god. I have made a google slideshow about them. guys they are so full of tiny details I gen can't

So he's back after dying. I figured it can be the same way as the canon one. I'm not that creative. OBVIOUSLY some other canon parts have been changed, too. I'm bringing characters who def could have survived back, hence the ability to eat vulture back. which. is what we're doing. well, what he's doing. uhm.

Anyways, he's back from the dead. He rushes home to Aunt May just wanting a hug from her after everything he just went through. Unfortunately, when she sees him (after the initial disbelief) she looks at him with nothing but disgust for him.

So now he's homeless. But he has a cat. Because adding Ding-Ding was such an amazing move in the 2020 comics. So he basically just lives with this cat. He does, eventually, become a PI with his own little abode. Don't ask for more details. I don't know.

Well. Uhm. GUYS I'M SORRY. I HAD TO DO IT. I COULDN'T THINK OF A BETTER REASON TO LOSE YOUR SANITY. GUYS PLEASE I'M SO SORRY. IF YOU ARE ON TIKTOK, YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN SOMETHING WITH IT, AND YOU BLAMED IT ON BENNY BOY. I'M SORRY. I'M THE ONE WHO DID IT. HE JUST DREW IT.

I killed the cat. Precious Ding-a-Ling is dead.

So he snaps. He's officially lost everything. Aunt May disowned him, Robbie is Robbie, and as of right now MJ is back to war or something. idk. maybe she can be dead too. yeah. MJ is also dead. THE POINT IS, HE HAS NOTHING NOW.

And now, the only thing that brings him any emotion, is after killing a bad person. So he hunts them down. It's like a drug. He has nothing left, so why not? It's not like he can die. At least he's helping people. But after a while, it's just not enough. These people deserve more than an easy way out. He slowly becomes more and more sadistic.

This is where the Vulture comes back. Who else is still alive? Goblin, Montana, Ox, Doc Ock, Shocker, and Mysterio. And since I was bored, Jonah and Felicia are part of this too. Yeah.

One of my beautiful (really shitty) drawings is based off "an eye for an eye", because that's what this is. Revenge. So long story short:

The Vulture: Blood eagle (because he needs wings, duh) and also eaten. He's also! Alive! yeah. Our silly guy knows anatomy. He knows what he can and can't do. (I watched midsommar)

The Goblin: His greatest fear is being locked up in a cage and mocked. So he's kept in a cage. And Since he always had others do his dirty work, it's his turn. He's gotta help clean up and help torture. Also, he's being experimented on. Because once again, Peter Parker is Peter Parker, and he is a nerd

Doc Ock: I originally was going to lobotomize him, but that's BORING!!! So he is now Swiss cheese. yeah. lots of holes drilled into him.

Shocker: Bennett actually came up with this one; electric chair, but he has to power it himself.

Mysterio: White room.

Uhm. I do have more, but this is already long and I don't want to bore you guys if you've read all this for some reason. But thank you if you did! I've actually worked really hard on this entire thing. There's a lot to it. So I hope you enjoyed this???

@what-is-my-aesthetic ‘s Wild Kratts video made me nostalgic for this series I liked when I was younger, I went back to watch a couple episodes, and whoops suddenly I’m working my way through S3. Wanted to draw the WK crew in my style.

Now that more people know who squirrel girl is, I think nows a good time to share one of my favorite comic panels

I love Superior Spiderman so much. He tries to be super serious but instead he comes off super goofy.

Dude has a robot sidekick butler that serves guests that was one of the first Spiderman villains. He has the evil scientist look but everyone just treats him normally. He maniacal evil laughs out of nowhere and people just wonder if he's lost his mind.

He took one look at Peter's life and instantly went back to college to get his PhD AGAIN in Peters body because doctor is in his name, always. He will kill you unless his girlfriend, Anna Maria, said no. Then you're on thin fucking ice. He also drops everything for her instantly even if the city is on fire.

When he became Superior Venom he was ready to murder a guy in cold blood for texting and driving. Whereas normally he just says such things are below him and sends a message to the police to deal with it instead.

Despite being one of Spiderman's greatest villains, he started recruiting Spidermen from the Spiderverse to save the Spiderverse from vampires. He led them and organized the whole thing. Multiple times. He even became 1048 (Insomniac) Spidermans friend WHILE 1048 KNEW FULL WELL HE WAS OTTO OCTAVIUS.

He's so un threatening. Everyone just thinks Peter's back in his jerk era. He straight up quit the Avengers and they never even figured out what the hell was up with "spiderman" at that time. They barely even bat an eye.

I haven't gotten to this point in the comics yet but he names himself fucking Elliot Tolliver.

He's great.

that line actually goes hard wait

Not sure if you so requests but id love to see the anti tulpar crew in your style!! :3

I'm not invested in the anti-tulpar lore but this is them right?

Curly with the cigar that makes you Evil, butterfly Jimmy and uhh mean Anya?

Notes

Comic info about Spider Noir

Has read/reading the book We The Living by Ayn Rand (biography about life in post-revolutionary Russia)

Is right handed

He uses guns a lot

Peter and Aunt May run a soup kitchen/welfare center

May and Peter are both socialists

He’s a bit cynical because he found uncle Ben murder corpse

Ben’s great responsibility quote is different, it’s “if those in power can’t be trusted, it’s the responsibility of the people to remove them”

Ben was a war pilot

SPIDER GOD

Got “curse” by the spider god

Can shoot black webs out of his wrist

Doesn’t believe in magic, believe in science

The goblin runs everything in the city and he’s a freelance/mob

Peter killed a guy

Saw the Frankenstein move with uncle Ben when he was little :)

Family friend to Robbie Robertson

Peter is a bit morally grey

Has been Spider-Man since 1933-1940

But because of universe portal stuff he’s back in 1933

Died but revive by the spider god

Is a private detective

Has a cat name ding-ding

Got turn into a weird ass spider thing from the 2022 comic

Has so much anger issues

Threaten to kill people

His threats sometimes scare himself and make him feel dirty :(

It’s mr star war himself!!

He’s like a kid on his first day of school I adore him so much you don’t even understand what he means to me

Based on this image vv