Downtime At Work, Courtesy Of My Laptop's Front-facing Camera.

i think the reason british ppl make such good punk music is bc their country sucks so much shit and ass

I'm using these to write all my reports now.

LONDON?????

I graduated today! Yippee!

☎️FAQ☎️

Who am I? -> Ryan! I use he/him/his pronouns, trans and queer. 22. General interests are powerlifting/gym-going, cats, reading, DnD, being in a hammock, Garfield. English native speaker, moderately okay at German. Chicago based.

What’s the purpose of this blog? -> I’ve been dealing with TAPS for a while now, so this page will partly be about documenting my experiences with it. At the moment my career goals pertain to researching TAPS (I would specify what in particular about the condition I want to research, but so much about TAPS is unknown that it can feel hard to identify a starting point 😵‍💫); I was recently brought on by Fourcast as an intern, so that’s a very exciting step for me and I want to document my time with them! Will also throw in some non-TAPS/4CL posts as well.

TAPS? -> Temporal Alignment Permeation Syndrome. I’ll probably make a whole info post about this, but in extremely simplified terms, I get glimpses into alternate realities and futures. Some good, some bad, mostly while sleeping. It’s really a can of worms so keep your eyes peeled for more in-depth info later :).

Fourcast Lab? -> Yeah...Love-hate relationship with the 4CL. Doing good, yes, but also TAPS started popping off when they started messing with SPORE, so my feelings are mixed, to say the least. Not many other paths to take for researching TAPS except to head into the belly of the beast, so here I am.

Can I send in asks? -> Yes!! Very open to answering questions (as long as they’re polite!). I’m pretty open about my life with TAPS, so feel free to ask. Ask box is preferred over DMs (can’t promise I’ll read the latter, especially if it’s from people I don’t know).

Anything else? -> Page rules: be nice :)

god i need to make crochet tapestries so god damn bad

Happy Pride Month btw :) I made these because I'm trans + queer + a TAPS researcher at Fourcast Lab and all of those things are pretty neat! It's therefore my professional opinion that the all pasts, presents, futures, and alternate realities are queer :).

I FUCKING LIED SHIT IS NOT CHILLER IN GERMANY

Okay I've slept off my edible and double-checked with 4CL. I am actually flying to Germany early July for work. God gives His silliest clowns His funniest battles.

mini(?) life update

graduation, amongst other things.

I almost wish I could say that I've been inactive because the Lab has been giving me crazy work, or I've been busy with something or another, but the weirdest thing is that that's not the case, but I still feel off.

I graduated a few months ago, now. I'm probably not done with academics as a whole, but I had decided before graduating that I would be taking some time off before going back to school. At the same time, the Lab has given me a psuedo-summer break - technically I work there still, yes, but assignments have been unusually slow, to the point where I haven't actually had to be in the lab for...since graduation, essentially. Maybe it's their way of apologizing to me for putting me through how hectic they made my last summer (and fall, and winter).

So my social life, work life, and inner life have all experienced some drastic changes - moving away from campus, not being active with work, the resulting personal challenged with lack of motivation, routine, energy...I know it won't last forever, that once I find my next step in life it'll change, and that I'm definitely not the first person to graduate and feel this way, but I grow tired and frustrated with my own listlessness. Even with the prospect of using the time to pursue hobbies and projects, I find myself immediately deprived of the ability to do it. I just end up feeling tired. And that tiredness and lack of achievement makes me feel frustrated. Etc.

Rambling now - it's only about 8:30 around here but I haven't slept well for almost a week now (thank u taps so cool), so writing isn't my strong suit atm. Thankfully I'm still talking with my therapist, and will see him tomorrow. This will probably be the first thing to come up. Hopefully I'll see y'all around soon.