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graduation, amongst other things.
I almost wish I could say that I've been inactive because the Lab has been giving me crazy work, or I've been busy with something or another, but the weirdest thing is that that's not the case, but I still feel off.
I graduated a few months ago, now. I'm probably not done with academics as a whole, but I had decided before graduating that I would be taking some time off before going back to school. At the same time, the Lab has given me a psuedo-summer break - technically I work there still, yes, but assignments have been unusually slow, to the point where I haven't actually had to be in the lab for...since graduation, essentially. Maybe it's their way of apologizing to me for putting me through how hectic they made my last summer (and fall, and winter).
So my social life, work life, and inner life have all experienced some drastic changes - moving away from campus, not being active with work, the resulting personal challenged with lack of motivation, routine, energy...I know it won't last forever, that once I find my next step in life it'll change, and that I'm definitely not the first person to graduate and feel this way, but I grow tired and frustrated with my own listlessness. Even with the prospect of using the time to pursue hobbies and projects, I find myself immediately deprived of the ability to do it. I just end up feeling tired. And that tiredness and lack of achievement makes me feel frustrated. Etc.
Rambling now - it's only about 8:30 around here but I haven't slept well for almost a week now (thank u taps so cool), so writing isn't my strong suit atm. Thankfully I'm still talking with my therapist, and will see him tomorrow. This will probably be the first thing to come up. Hopefully I'll see y'all around soon.