Latest Posts by reputation3ra - Page 4

i miss you more than i remember you

clementine von radics / c. c. aurel / miles johnston / ranata suzuki / clementine von radics / sue zhao / madeline miller / lily thula / salma deera / clementine von radics / shelby eileen / jedaleyjd via pinterest / holly warburton / mary oliver / mitski / sea wolf / nickie zimov / the mountain goats

— Ocean Vuong in conversation with Spencer Quong

James Baldwin, If Beale Street Could Talk

The Untrustworthy Speaker

Don’t listen to me; my heart’s been broken.

I don’t see anything objectively.

I know myself; I’ve learned to hear like a psychiatrist.

When I speak passionately,

that’s when I’m least to be trusted.

It’s very sad, really: all my life, I’ve been praised

for my intelligence, my powers of language, of insight.

In the end, they’re wasted—

I never see myself,

standing on the front steps, holding my sister’s hand.

That’s why I can’t account

for the bruises on her arm, where the sleeve ends.

In my own mind, I’m invisible: that’s why I’m dangerous.

People like me, who seem selfless,

we’re the cripples, the liars;

we’re the ones who should be factored out

in the interest of truth.

When I’m quiet, that’s when the truth emerges.

A clear sky, the clouds like white fibers.

Underneath, a little gray house, the azaleas

red and bright pink.

If you want the truth, you have to close yourself

to the older daughter, block her out:

when a living thing is hurt like that,

in its deepest workings,

all function is altered.

That’s why I’m not to be trusted.

Because a wound to the heart

is also a wound to the mind.

By Louise Glück

“Right now I want a word that describes the feeling you get - a cold, sick feeling deep down inside - when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don’t want it to, but you can’t stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again be quite the person you were.”

— Jennifer Donnelly, A Northern Light

“I need a little language such as lovers use, words of one syllable such as children speak when they come into the room and find their mother sewing and pick up some scrap of bright wool, a feather, or a shred of chintz. I need a howl, a cry.” 

— Virginia Woolf, The Waves

The dream

"James Baldwin, The Art of Fiction No. 78", An Interview by Jordan Elgrably

“I want to tell her that I want so badly to be a part of this world, to stand in it, but every hand I touch withholds warmth. The world gathers everywhere beyond me.”

— Victoria Chang, from “Dear Father”, Dear Memory: Letters on Writing, Silence, and Grief (via voirlvmer)

Barbarian (2022)

Stutz (2022)

Lonely people have enthusiasms which cannot always be explained. When something strikes them as funny, the intensity and length of their laughter mirrors the depth of their loneliness, and they are capable of laughing like hyenas. When something touches their emotions, it runs through them… awakening feelings that gather into great armies.

Mark Helprin

GOD SURPASSES US AS THE BEST LOVER.

Visions of Ecstasy (1989) dir. Nigel Wingrove / Léonard Bellivaux, Mary Magdalene in Adoration before the Crown of Thorns, 1866 / Philippe de Champaigne, Le Christ mort couché sur son linceul (detail), 1654 / Francesco Vanni, Saint Catherine Drinks the Blood of Christ (detail), 1594 / Francesco Hayez, Crucifixion with Mary Magdalene Kneeling and Weeping (detail), 1827 / Jean-Luc Marion, The Erotic Phenomenon.

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert

Communication Error: In art people have things to say and they are important, they pound against their chest and they cry and music swells but here, here my words slide and scrap up my throat amounting in nothing. I want to tell you everything, but I can barely open my mouth to tell you my name.

Richard Siken// Call Me By Your Name dir. Luca Guadagnino// Margaret Atwood// Lisel Mueller// // Virginia Woolf// Richard Siken// Jeanette Winterson// Georges Bataille// Inside Llewyn Davis dir. The Coen Brothers // Mikko Harvey// The Rehearsal, Nathan Fielder//Hieu Minh Nguyen

A heart-shaped meadow, created by a farmer as a tribute to his late wife, can be seen from the air near Wickwar, South Gloucestershire. The point of the heart points towards Wotton Hill, where his wife was born.

somedays my heart feels so close to the surface like it wants to take me somewhere and is tired of the limitations of my body, of my feet always walking in the wrong direction. this isn’t really an original thought. i have told you this before. someone almost loved me and they come to me in dreams even now but i punish my daytime mind for any thoughts of soccer or duvet covers or carrot cake and i never think about him except when it is dark out and i am in the backseat of the car and no one can see the alternate life passing through me, the one where he laughs forever and i press my ear as close as i can because i am tired of the limitations of my body. someday things will be different. the losses will fall off of me like particles from another world, landing on a small unsuspecting planet. i will garden and have at least one big window where i can see the sky and have the good sense to look. but today i asked God to empty my heart of whatever wasn’t meant for it and he is still in there somewhere, occupying a small space in a big way. if i let myself reach out to touch it then i would probably find out that there’s small space inside of him too that flinches when he looks at the moon. of course it doesn’t help to know that. it doesn’t help to know that the dark sky is a cauldron we both sit in to punish ourselves for the life we didn’t have.

you are so polite with your sadness, you don't want to ruin this for anyone

💙 Sometimes. I used to be very messy, still can be.

me, looking back on it all:

belos gets his ass handed to him.png ft dramatic ass lighting

bonus:

bonus bonus:

BARBARA KRUGER

— Elena Ferrante, from “The Days of Abandonment.”

“If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs on this November day, then there is still hope for you. Your story is still going. And maybe some things are true for all of us. Perhaps we all relate to pain. Perhaps we all relate to fear and loss and questions. And perhaps we all deserve to be honest, all deserve whatever help we need. Our stories are all so many things: Heavy and light. Beautiful and difficult. Hopeful and uncertain. But our stories aren’t finished yet. There is still time, for things to heal and change and grow. There is still time to be surprised. We are still going, you and I. We are stories still going.”

— Jamie Tworkowski

A clean mind. An anonymous fear submitted to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

You can pick up a signed copies of my Deep Dark Fears books in my Etsy store!

“I’ll have it. You have to give it to me. It’s gotta go somewhere.”

Fleabag | 2.04

You Won’t Be Alone (2022)

Spencer Finch - 366, Emily Dickinson’s Miraculous Year (2009)

This work is based on Emily Dickinson in 1862, when she wrote 366 poems in 365 days. It is a real-time memorial to that year, which burns for exactly one year. The sculpture is comprised of 366 individual candles arranged in a linear sequence, each of which burns for 24 hours. The colour of each candle matches a colour mentioned in the corresponding poem. For the poems in which no colour is mentioned, the candles are made out of natural paraffin.

“Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am. So, I’ve learned to enjoy myself, my family, and a few good friends.”

— Steven Aitchison

the roy family + "anthem" by noah hawley

succession is a great show

Logan telling Shiv "You're marrying a man fathoms beneath you because you don't want to risk being betrayed" except Tom does betray her precisely because he know she thinks he's beneath her, ending the season with a hand on her shoulder and his face out of frame exactly like the picture of Shiv and Logan in the opening credits. I'm throwing myself into the sun.