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✩ "I would get killed by your hands just to see you live." .:｡✧*.｡✰───

summary: he loved you so much he allowed you to let him go.

contents: jjk as angst tropes series: choso kamo, choso x f!reader, established relationship, not canon so no spoilers cz i realized its called fanFICTION so i can create whatever i want, forbidden romance, choso dies cz of reader, fluff at the beginning, angst cz who wouldve guessed, also written badly

word count: ≈1.9k

The moon generously illuminated the darkness of the abandoned building. It was just like the way you knew it. You memorized every curve of it, how the light would hit each spot, the way the debris stacked on top of each other–and where you would see him standing there, waiting for you. 

It started when you two both approached each other, thinking you guys were the same species. He thought you were a curse, and you thought he was a sorcerer. It caused you two to share the struggles you both had, and unbeknownst to both of you, it was similar struggles. It caused mutual pining that you both could only entertain.

You both found out when you first met him in your jujutsu uniform, and he saw the badge that you had. It was a shocking sight to see, but Choso had gently held your hand, calming you down once you found out he was a curse.

Now, you were meeting up with him secretly once again.

“Hello,” you giggled, your shoulders rising up and failing to keep your bubbly attitude hidden. You took your hat off, bringing your mask under your chin.

“Hello, darling,” he walked up to you, his eyes glued to your face. Stepping in front of you, he brought his free hand up to your face and tucked a hair behind your ear. “You look… as beautiful as last time,”

A sound of laughter bubbled up your throat, leaning into his hand. Choso held your hand, guiding you to the usual spot you guys would sit in that faced the moonlight. Ever since finding out about the opportunity of meeting you secretly, Choso had cleaned up a spot that the moonlight focused on, adding a carpet there and occasionally, candles. It was a spot where you two could lean against the wall, cuddling each other and forgetting the world really existed.

“A movie?” Choso asked softly.

“Yeah! I watched one with a friend today!”

Choso laughed, watching as you used your whole body to reenact the scenes and the story–he thought it was enchanting

“You think… we could watch a movie someday?” he asked sincerely, his gaze on you.

You sighed, squeezing his hand softly and leaning back onto him. “...Someday, Choso.” “You think that day will come?” He whispered, his tone vulnerable.

“One day, Choso. I’ll take you everywhere–the park, the mall, amusement parks–oh! We could go to festivals! Tokyo holds them all the time,” you chuckled, hoping to shift his mood into a more cheerful one. Your smile only got wider when you saw his cheeks rising at the grin painted across his face.

“And our wedding?” He teased, bringing your hand up and kissing the back of it.

“I already have plans,” you nuzzled your nose against his, a second of silence passing before you guys erupted in laughter.

It was an endearing sight. You two laughing at each other's shenanigans, acting like you were two highschoolers on a date–nothing else mattered.

Time eventually caught up, and it was time to leave. 

“Next week, same time?” He asked, his voice hopeful even though he already knew your answer.

“Always.”

~~~

“You want me to… what?”

Yaga raised an eyebrow at your question, putting his clipboard down and looking at you.

“We can’t afford to keep any Cursed Womb alive. Choso Kamo is a liability, and for all we know, he could be getting even stronger as we speak.”

Clenching your fists, your chest rose up and down in an uneven pattern, and sweat was prickling at the sides of your head.

“But the others are dead? How powerful is Choso alone–,”

“His powers are much stronger due to his cursed energy. There’s no doubt that he’d be giving you guys a hard time on your missions, and we aren’t going to risk it.” His answer was so certain, so sure that you shook. You shook, because none of it was sinking in. Every atom of your body denied it–Choso dying? Because of you?

Yaga noticed your silence, and he sighed. Grabbing his clipboard again and standing up, he spoke.

“If you think the mission’s too much for you, then I can assign it to another student.”

Your head snapped up at him. No–no one else could kill him. No one else should kill Choso–Choso shouldn’t even be killed! Choso was human–you know it. You’d know all of it. How he made you feel more human than the jujutsu society ever had, that he’d shared your feelings and troubles and love and affection–

But, if you didn’t take it, then someone else would. If you didn’t kill him, he’d die anyway. If he didn’t die by your hands… someone’s bound to give him a painful death. Someone else is going to cause him harm in his last moments. And you’d miss it all.

The thought of it made your head throb. Your pulse raced enough for you to hear it in your ears. You were anxious about him getting hurt–being shown no mercy before his death when it was all he deserved. Mercy. 

“I… I’ll take it.”

This way, you can ensure he has a quick, painless death.

Yaga hummed, nodding in satisfaction. “Very well then, the deadline is next week.”

~~~

This mission was easy. Physically. And you hated it. You hated it because it was as easy as depending on your love for each other to meet with him and only take advantage of it. You came here early this time, wanting to be the first one to see Choso… and the last time you would.

“Hey,” he arrived, beaming. And the sight hurt. Tonight, you had to carry his blood. A rope in your chest tightened, and your breath staggered.

“I… got you something. You like roses, right?” He revealed a rose from behind his back, holding it out to you both proudly and timidly.

Your eyes went wide. The crimson rose would soon be the color spreading throughout Choso’s fabric, because of you. Taking the rose felt like a lie. Rejecting it would betray you. Choso always did small and cute things like this. For you.

Choso noticed your intense gaze at the rose, as if you’d just seen something you shouldn’t have. Your uncharacteristic mannerisms–hands shaking, frozen in spot, completely mute–it worried him.

“Hey, are you okay? You’re not usually this quiet… Did you have a rough mission?”

A rough mission? You almost scoffed, but when he brought his hand up to your cheek, you hesitated. For a split second, you almost recoiled, backed away. The gentleness of his touch would hurt too much right now. You didn’t mean to, but when your gaze flickered up to Choso’s, his anguished expression only increased your regret. 

Choso noticed the weight on your shoulders. He noticed that there was pressure on you, and you couldn’t fight against it. He knew there was something you had to say, or something you had to do… and he knew you couldn’t tell him it. With the way a lump in your throat was forming and causing you to stay silent, he speaks.

“If… there’s anything you need to say or do, do it right now, my love.”

His sweet words combined with his tender actions–it broke you. Tears finally started flooding out, and your voice hiccupped quietly in your throat. Your hesitation said everything–you were shaking, crying–you silently begged him to say something different.

But he was steady. Calm. Almost too calm. Because how could he, who was absolutely ignorant about the situation, not knowing that you were about to end his life, still be so kind as he pulled you into a hug that you so desperately needed? Choso was giving you space to choose–no, space to do it. And you knew you had to, because if you didn’t, it’d end up much worse for him. 

“Don’t–no, please–I can’t, Choso–,” you begged the world.

“My love,” he says firmly, not wavering from his point. “I trust you.”

And it felt like your breaking point. It felt like everything inside you snapped–your heart, your tears–and your muscles moved without thought.

Before you knew it, your weapon was buried deep inside of Choso’s stomach. Blood emanated from where the knife was hidden, and Choso collapsed onto you.

“No!” You caught him, his blood slowly dripping from his clothes down to your hands.

The way his eyes went wide broke your heart, and even with your sudden betrayal he was still holding onto you for dear life. How could you? How could you?

Choso still somehow found the courage to chuckle even at a time like this, while blood was dripping from the corners of his lips. “This… wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“No, no! Choso!” You brought him to your chest, begging the universe to go back in time–you’d refuse the mission, refuse to end Choso and run away with him instead–so why’d that only occur now? When he was slowly losing life right in front of you?

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” your tears mixed with the blood that was staining his clothes, yet the knife was still in him. Your betrayal was still in him. And it slowly spilled throughout his body–yet his love was still greater.

‘Hey, hey, my love. Listen to me–,”

“No, I’m so sorry–I shouldn’t have done this–I should’ve just–,”

“Y/N.”

You opened your eyes and looked at him through tears. How was he comforting you? When you ended his life? He had dreams, struggles, passions, and someone he loved.

“Yes…?” You whispered, your eyes closing the moment his hand gently brushed your cheek.

“Don’t let them paint you the monster, my love,” he smiled–the one you loved. “I know you chose to save me one last time. I would’ve chosen you out of everyone else to be the one to end me.”

But you were a monster. But you were someone who deserves nothing of his gentle love. Someone who was deemed a murderer–yet all he gave in his last moments was gentle love.

“I love you, my love,” he smiled. “Say it back one last time, yeah?”

You tried your best to scoff, trying to match his eerily lighthearted mood as you kissed his forehead. “I love you too, Choso.”

The two of you closed your eyes, pressing your foreheads together–in hopes for you to give him the life he deserves and the one you don’t. When you felt his hand slip from your cheek, you quickly caught it and tried to savour the last bits of warmth in it, convincing yourself he was just unconscious. You felt the smear of cold blood from the wind–only to remind you that it was his blood.

You were broken. You felt nothing but misery. The air you were breathing, the eyes that you were using to cry tears you felt like you didn’t deserve to let out, how your muscles contracted as you sobbed–it should’ve belonged to Choso. The Choso who never had the chance to live out any of his dreams. The Choso who never had the privileges you had growing up–it should’ve belonged to him. Not you. You felt like you should’ve been the one to take the dagger instead, and even then–you’d still paint yourself the monster. Because now, that’s all you saw of yourself.

a/n

oookay i kNOWWW this was kinda fast paced but i try my best to keep this series under 2k words sooooo it kinda ended up that way... i wish i couldve expanded more on this but oh! well! too! bad! (sobbing) ANYWAYS thisssss lowkey hurt me–i dealt with what felt like ages and ages of writers block and had to force this out of my system and somehow was able to produce something decently satisfying in the end soooo i hope i broke yall :)

(imma be honest w yall tho the original ending was to make the reader end herself in the end too but i thought maybe that’s too much…)

hope you all enjoyed *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: !!! - ying ☆

ive been neglecting unrequited terrifying hopefully i can finish writing it and editing it this week hopefully

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUTA OKKOTSU

new kid! fushiguro megumi who....

new kid! fushiguro megumi who knew that he wasn’t sure what to make of this place yet, wasn't truly sure about his new life that was begnning for him as he leaves the old one behind. that was just too honest of him.

the new house was bigger than their last one, lived-in but unfamiliar. his new room smelled like fresh paint, and his small stash of belongings were still packed away in unopened boxes. this was his new life now. this new arrangement.

his elder sister tsumiki had reassured him before she left for college. told him gojo satoru would watch over him. told him he wouldn’t be alone. that there were great kids in the neighborhood, people he could get along with.

at least, that’s what gojo said. but megumi wasn’t sure he wanted to meet them, or get to know them just yet. he was still on the fence about it, just as with everything in his life. just as with everything else that could ever come. but perhaps, he’d just have to wait and see.

new kid! fushiguro megumi wasn’t sure how the story of it all even started. somehow, he was certain that there was that quiet pull, the subtle gravity that drew him toward the space just beyond the creaky wooden fence separating his world from yours.

somehow, it was a cosmic demand. it was somehow a certain destiny being aligned by the stars. something that megumi had thought maybe only possible in movies.

and yet, as much as it was destiny, it was also his own choice. he sat there, enjoying the sun in the solitude and made that choice, that move to turn his head, and find the world beyond him grow into the words that make up the word, 'you'.

new kid! fushiguro megumi found himself watching you from afar, all of a sudden. but of course, in a proper way. in a respectful way. definitely not in a way that felt intrusive, but as if trying to understand something just beyond his reach.

he knew better than that. he knew better than to cause someone to feel uncomfortable. he didn’t want to make people around him feel rough about it. and so he was trying, he was trying to look away. he gulped. he couldn’t do it. he couldn’t look away from you.

new kid! fushiguro megumi thinks that maybe it’s the way you carried yourself with a serene grace, one that he’d never seen from anyone in his entire life before. one that he found himself admiring every little dawn of day he could see you from afar.

megumi didn’t expect you to notice him first. but you did, you happily did. but he thinks that it was easy, especially with those heavy rumbling footsteps against the mossy grass. it was loud enough, he supposed. and you noticed, you found him, like destiny wanted.

“you’re staring at me.” you said one afternoon, voice gentle but teasing. you weren’t facing him, but somehow, you still knew.

megumi stiffened, ears burning. “i—i’m not.”

you tilted your head slightly, as if listening. “you are.”

megumi suddenly felt very, very out of his depth. “sorry.” he muttered, turning away. but then he heard you laugh—soft, light, like wind chimes in the breeze.

“it’s okay, don't worry.” you said, voice carrying over the fence. “i stare too, sometimes. well, even if it's just dark. it's still something that exists in this world.”

megumi blinked, confused. you lifted a hand, fingers brushing over the petals of a flower beside you. “i like to feel things. it helps me see them.”

oh. he thinks to himself as his throat tightens.

new kid! fushiguro megumi felt something in his chest shift in that moment. before he could think too hard about it, he reached over the fence, plucking a small blossom from a low-hanging branch. he hesitated only for a second before extending it toward you.

“here.” megumi says to you in response.

you took it without hesitation, fingertips grazing his knuckles as you traced the delicate petals. “this one feels nice.”

fushiguro megumi swallowed. “yeah?”

you nodded, smiling softly. “you have a good eye. for things like this, huh?"

".....yeah, i guess so."

you hummed, almost to happily. "you're already so interesting, new kid. i look forward to you in the future too."

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who never considered himself particularly thoughtful, started noticing things. and it had made him just as bitter, just as angry. and just as eager, to do more for you.

he noticed how the world wasn’t always built for you. how uneven pavement made you slow your steps, how certain things were placed just out of reach, how people spoke to you like you were delicate, like you might break if they weren’t careful.

and he hated it. he could feel it burning in his chest, that anguish. almost like a fever that could just as easily burn everything in its path as he looked at you, still smiling.

how can you smile like that? he asks himself in the quiet. how can you still be so good to the world, when it makes you feel so alone?

new kid! fushiguro megumi clenched his fists so tightly, it turned brutishly red. he couldn't let this pass. he won't. this is isn't what you deserved. you deserved so much more. you deserved the very best. no, no. you deserved the world. you deserved to have it at the palm of your hands.

megumi wasn’t sure why it mattered so much to him. but it did. it mattered to him that you were comfortable. it mattered to him that you had all that could make your life as normal as possible. so you could live with a smile in your face, a true one.

he started small, he started from where he could. when he noticed a branch hanging too low on your usual path, he snapped it off without a word. when the neighborhood kids left their bikes scattered across the sidewalk, he quietly moved them aside before you walked by.

when the bakery down the street rearranged their display cases, he mumbled a quiet, awkward explanation so you wouldn’t have to fumble around. or when he found books, he worked hard to try and make sure he reads it for you, every little word, even if his voice was hoarse from it.

new kid! fushiguro megumi thinks that there was nothing special about it. he was only doing what he should. moving things out of your way, describing things when it seemed like you wanted to know, standing beside you when the world got too loud. it wasn’t extraordinary. it wasn’t something to be praised.

it was just normal. just expected. that’s why he never said anything about it. never drew attention to it. never expected you to notice. but you did. it was ever so easy to notice. you were blind, that’s certain. but you were no fool.

you noticed how the world seemed a little easier when he was around. how the things that once stood in your way disappeared before you could even reach them. how he always stood just close enough, just within reach, but never too close—never forcing, never assuming, just there.

you noticed how his voice, though often hesitant, carried a quiet kind of care when he spoke to you. how his words, though awkward and sometimes clumsy, were always meant to bring you closer to the world he saw.

“you move things, don't you?” you said that sunny afternoon, your tone unreadable. "i can feel it, you know."

megumi froze. “i don’t—”

you smiled knowingly. “you do.”

"you take care of things, don't you?" you murmured, fingers trailing over the petals of a flower he had left for you on the fence. "quietly. carefully."

megumi, who had been standing on the other side, stiffened. "i don’t—"

you smiled, tilting your head slightly. "you do."

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who had never been good at taking credit, looked away, scowling. he found his face as red as the scarlet sunset behind you both. he purses his lips in a flat line.

megumi thinks about how much of his life had been spent making himself feel so insignificantly small in that quiet, unobtrusive prison he had made for himself, a prison he shouldn't even be in.

almost all the sudden, megumi thinks that he felt seen in a way that made his heart stumble. in a way he doesn't think he ever thought he could ever deserve in this life. he doesn't think he's a good person.

and yet, here you were, smiling at him and telling him that he was a good person. that he was someone you appreciated. that he was someone you were thankful for, someone you cherished.

"you don’t have to....and yet....." you paused for a moment. "somehow, you do anyway."

his fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie. he didn’t know what to say to that. so he just mumbled, "don't think too much of it."

but you reached out, fingertips brushing over the rough wood of the fence, stopping just short of his. you shake your head at him. "it is too much. it is everything, megumi-chan."

“it’s not a big deal.” he grumbles under his breath. "anyone could have done that. you know that."

but you reached out, fingers brushing against his wrist before he could tuck his hands into his pockets. he felt his breath hitch as he found himself closer to you. it was as though this moment was the first time he'd ever found himself understanding what the word spring truly means when your touch was against his own.

“it is to me.” you whispered back to him. a small smile sweeping your tender lips. "it is a big deal. because it's you.....so thank you, megumi-chan. thank you for being good to me."

he grew even redder, flustered at your tenderness. he rubs the back of his head, feeling his heart pound. "you give people too much credit! you're too nice. how are you this nice?"

you giggled at him. "but arent't you nice too?"

"am not!" he murmured under his breath, still ever so red.

"ah, you're pretty red, aren't you?"

"shut up!"

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who never cared for praise, found that your words sat warm in his chest long after you’d gone. there was that thought that maybe spring could last forever, whenever you smiled at him.

there was a thought that his day would feel complete because you were there to tell him that you were thankful that he came into your life to help him through it all, even the little things.

he never thought that your words would pull at his heartstrings in this way, playing his heart into a symphony that could only be built in the benevolent heart of someone like you. and so, he found himself addicted to the sound of his heart beating, leaping over and over again.

perhaps that is what it was, some sort of calling. this new kid on the block without purpose, found one. that was to stay by your side no matter come what may. because nothing was more addictive to him, than this feeling.

these overwhelming feelings that drown him in this eternal sea, each and every single time. he knew that, almost too certainly. and there was no escape. and he knew deep down, he didn't want to escape it. not when you smile like that. not when you smile at him, smile because of him.

new kid! fushiguro megumi started describing things more, in his own awkward way. with great detail. he knew he wasn't as good as most people in describing things. or being passionate about it out loud. but you seemed to enjoy it very much. you were smiling through it all.

“the sky looks kinda weird today. all gray, like someone smudged the clouds.” he’d say a bit dryly. or, in some rare warm whispers, “the cherry blossoms are blooming. they look like—uh, you know, pink and fluffy.”

"is it really?" you gasped, almsot too excitedly at some points. "oh, megumi-chan! what's the shape of the clouds? oh, oh! how about the birds in the sky? are they as graceful as how the documentaries say?"

he knew that wasn’t great with words, but you never seemed to mind. if anything, it made you seem contented in the warmth of spending time together, even if the words don't echo them exactly.

because if one was asking the correct things, this would be the question: what is the right words, the perfect words, when every action already blossomed the warm kindness the sun could never gift you? that's what you asked him.

and he wasn't sure at all, if he had any answer for you. instead, he lets his hand brush carefully against your own, his green-blues not leaving your misty ones. you found your lips curving into the brightest of smiles, teeth and all. megumi thinks that these smiles are the very best. these were the ones he cherishes most when you were together.

"you're good to me, megumi-chan. thank you."

"you're good to me too." he whispers under his breath, red appearing agianst his cheeks. ".....i hope you know that."

you giggled. "hm, hm. i know."

new kid! fushiguro megumi wasn’t sure when it started. when did it turly start; these feelings that were too loud for him to ignore. these rhythmic symphonies his heart composes when he sees your face, at peace under a willow tree.

maybe it was the first time you held his hand without hesitation, trusting him without question. or maybe it was the way you always seemed to know when he was nearby, even when he hadn’t said a word. he doesn't know how it all begun.

but all he knew was that he had these feelings. he had these smiles on his lips. he had these red cheeks blossoming hot. he had you, by his side letting them repeat over and over again.

new kid! fushiguro megumi who had spent almost all of his life keeping the world, the people, life itself at arm’s length slowly finds himself realizing that he was letting you in those impenetrable walls without even a single cost. he has let go without a fight.

but how could he do such a thing, when he has too much desire to keep you by his side like this? how could he find himself hidden away from you in these strong holds when he wanted for you to feel the warmth in his tone, the kindness in his touch?

it was easy to notice it in the small things, how he had utterly surrendered to you. how he started looking for you first whenever he stepped outside. how he’d listen for your voice over the hum of the neighborhood. how the air around you always felt a little lighter, a little warmer.

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who had always been good at avoiding emotions, was starting to realize—he was falling in love. so utterly, miserably, happily, undoubtly, ever so certainly in love and it was with you. always you. it was never going to stop being you.

that spring afternoon, that youthful spring that belonged only to the two of you. it was ever so beautiful. he couldn't explain it. was the tree beautiful because you were under it, or were you beautiful because you were the apple of his eyes?

when he found you sitting in your blossoming garden, your fingers lightly skimming over the open pages of the book. your fingers gently brushed itself against the tactile echoes all across the pages, the words forming through those elegant bridges of braille recognizable from where he stood.

“you don’t have to read in braille, you know.” he said, standing just beyond the fence. “i could read to you.”

you tilted your head toward him, smiling softly. “you would?”

he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “yeah. if you wanted.”

“hmm, i guess.” you hummed, considering. “but do you even like reading out loud?”

he looked away. “not really. not stuff like this, at least."

you laughed, quiet and knowing. “but you’d do it anyway?”

he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “...yeah.”

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who wasn’t good at saying things outright, suddenly felt very obvious. he felt like he didn't know who this person was, being so bold as to stand before you and be so ever brave.

he could see that well hidden mirth in your glassy eyes, ever so happy to just be there with him this way. even if you couldn't see everything, you were so good at knowing the wondrous picture forming before you. you could read him, even if you couldn't see him. and he knew that too well.

you grinned at him. soon enough, you only patted the empty space beside you. “then come sit with me.”

and just like that, he did.

he always will, you know that.

that's how he perhaps, loves you.

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who never cared for the thought of happy ever after, or whatever those fairy tales say, found himself reading them to you with such uncharted passion anyway.

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who never needed the warmth of many people, found himself wanting to stay by your side. hoping for the immortality of that joy that comes from being together.

new kid! fushiguro megumi, who wasn’t sure when it started, knew one thing for certain now— he was already yours. and he doesn't care for how it ends, or how it becomes. his dream, his truest dream, was to remain by your side, smiling under the beckoning sunrise.

. ݁₊ ⊹ HUH?! A CARD?! ⊹. ݁₊

hi! i’m renee! i'm <16, i live in canada and im asian

entj-t, she/her.

my favorite color? PURPLE!

if you couldn't tell i really really like kuromi. (i have a big fat kuromi collection)

i have a dog! -> hes big and fat and a labrador retriever

🎧music taste- k-pop and j-pop and a little bit of indie music and pop.

top plays: whiplash by aespa, armageddon by aespa, how sweet by new jeans, ditto by new jeans, crazy by le sserafim, kyu-kurarin by iyowa, deep sea girl by yuuyu, talk by beabadoobee, real man by beabadoobee, you’re here thats the thing by beabadoobee, ilomilo by billie eilish

▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10

ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 i mostly play roblox and project sekai colorful stage!

- royale high my muse (its dead now so…)

- i just play random ass games now

-no more good games on roblox 💔

-anyway i have a major pjsk addiction its really bad

-i played rhythm hive every now and then

animes/manga's i watched/read:

jujutsu kaisen, the disastrous life of saiki k, kaguya sama love is war, the promised neverland, komi can't communicate, one piece (NOT CAUGHT UP), demon slayer, assasination classroom, 8 episodes of chainsaw man but i know what happens, spy x family, death note, haikyuu!!, kakegurui, dandadan, mashle, ouran high school host club, the apothecary diaries

i wanna watch frieren, romantic killer, your lie in april, my happy marriage, neon genesis evanlengion, beastars, apothecary diaries s2

˖ ֹ੭୧ fav characters! ⊹ ࣪ ⑅

CHOSO KAMO, megumi, yuji, inumaki, yuta, shoko, nobara (i'm nobara irl), maki, mikoto aiura, mizuki akiyama, teruhashi kokomi, saiki kusuo, misa amane, yor forger, nishinoya yuu, hinata shoyo, sugawara koshi, KUROMI, tamaki suoh (i kin him so hard)

(biases) winter from aespa, and haerin nwjns, ahyeon from babymon, eunchae from lessera! oh and my friend is obsessed with skz so i had to choose a bias so it's hyunjin.

ships i like: itafushi, satosugu, nobamaki, yutamaki, mizuena, kanamafu, ruikasa, akitoya, shizuairi, kagehina, kuroken, bokuaka

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ likes! -- internet, strawberries, writing, drawing, talking with my friends, gossiping (drama), reading fics, designing clothes, shopping!, k-beauty, miniso ice cream, popsicles, halloween (halloween > christmas) pho, lavender/lilac scent, nerds gummy clusters, starburst, dressing up, collecting, doomscrolling, occult and stuff, cats, sugar

(╥﹏╥) dislikes! -- AUTOCORRECT FUCK YOU AUTOCORRECT, mcaffe, n25 tierers hogging all the spots, piano, spiders, dirty desks and platforms, congestion, spirit of math (free me)

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ IRL HOBBIES!

-figure skater and badminton player (peak asian)

my friend tried to teach me volleyball for a week but i failed miserably.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i like science (like biology) and history!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i run on pop drinks

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i like cosplaying and dressing up and feeling pretty and choosing some random aesthetic i feel is pretty then trying to build a look out of that #hotgirlhours

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i travelled to china, france, italy, greece, usa, cuba, canada (well the other parts), and maybe more! hoping to go to japan tho!'

lore dump: i got bit by a raccoon this year

ALL MY FRIENDS BULLY ME FOR WRITING/READING FANFICTION “y-y/n!! i-i love you!!! ” SAIBAU

but i cant stop talking ab fanfiction cus who else will i yap to (i get bullied in the friend group)

dividers by @.adornedwithlight @.animatedglittergraphics-n-more @.kodaswrld

HAAPPPYY BRITHDAYYY YUJIII I LOOOVVEE YOUUU

got 2nd in skating comp !!

ch.2- he's so perfect, blah blah blah

You blinked into a familiar ceiling. Where have you last seen this?

The morning light shone through the window, penetrating through the blinds. Its pattern left a soft glow of illumination into the room. It took your eyes a few seconds to finally understand: This was Choso’s apartment, and you were in his guest room. 

How did that happen?

Breathing in a deep breath, you feel that your throat is unusually dry, and your face feels a little sticky. You clear your throat as you slowly sit up, your aching muscles straining to support your weight. When you got up, a headache out of nowhere hit you like a truck.

Pulsing in relentless waves, it attacked your head over and over again, never once settling down. Hands shooting up to your temples, you try to massage your head, and ease the throbbing pain. 

Headache, dry throat, and the sorest muscles ever. Yeah, you definitely got drunk last night. 

Moving your legs off the bed and groaning, you head towards the washroom to try to clean yourself up. You washed your face with hot water, which helped soothing the headache a bit more. You could only wash your face as there wasn't a toothbrush or anything for you to use, so to satisfy your other need, you went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

As you were filling up the glass, you heard some small footsteps, and the creak of a door. Yuji had woken up, and was also going to the bathroom to do his routine. When he opened his door, he saw you in the kitchen. You two exchange a glance while Yuji rubs his eyes to make sure he still isn’t dreaming. 

“Ohh!! It’s you!! My brother’s girl friend!!” Yuji exclaimed, a smile on his face.

“Good morning Yuji,” you reply. “Although, I wouldn’t say girl-friend.” you add nervously while taking a sip of the water.

Yuji, having completely moved on from the topic, asked, “Why are you here in the morning? Aren’t you supposed to be at your house?” 

You took a second to conteplate how to explain to a 9 year old how badly drunk you got last night that his older brother needed to pick you up.

“Uhh, Choso did me a really good favor and picked me up from a place when I couldn’t drive.” you lie, convincing the nine year old. 

“Oh, okay.” Yuji said, accepting the explaination and going on about his morning. You sigh and drink from the glass again. You saw on the couch your phone, wallet, and other neccesities. You walked over to collect them, assuming Choso just put your things on the couch for you.

He’s so nice, you think to yourself, thankful for the little extra he always does for everybody.

As you sit on the couch scrolling through your messages and drinking water at the same time, Choso comes out of his room and sees you already up. 

“Hey, sleep well?” Choso asked when he saw you sitting on the couch. He was still nervous on how to correctly approach you after last night, so he decided he’ll just play it off as nothing and be “nonchalant” about it. 

“Yup!” you replied, smiling. Your brows furrowed a little, still battling the headache.  “Thanks for driving me back too, Cho. Really really appreciate it.” 

“Eh, it was nothing, no big deal,” Choso replied, still being cautious on what he said. He looked at your slightly pained expression, and he thinks that you remembered what happened last night. Oh god- Would it be awkward just talking now? 

“So..uhh..” Choso mumbled. “Are you feeling better now?”

You thought he was mentioning how drunk you were, but he was really trying to ask you about the scene last night. 

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better now, I just have a huge headache though,” you sighed.

That wasn’t what I meant. He thought. As in your mood. But he didn’t want to bring it up- what if he was bringing back bad memories? He didn’t want to do that to you. Choso decided it would be worth it to just not mention last night at all and will only elaborate if you brought it up.

But you never did bring it up, being convinced to eat breakfast with him and Yuji.

The whole time, he was scanning your face and expressions to see if you had really forgotten or some part of you still hurt, but you were just hiding it.

Why would you need to hide it in front of me though? Choso thought. 

As you ate a simple breakfast- Toast with butter, you were a little lost in thought, trying to piece together a timeline. Weirdly, you feel like you’ve forgotten something that should be mentioned sometime around… someone… you just couldn’t figure out who.

First, that guy did break up with you. Piece of shit, really. Were you over it? A little, now. Better than yesterday, at least, when you decided just to drink it all away at a bar. Then, you have a vague recollection of texting someone, which you found out to be Choso this morning, and then passing out. 

Sitting there, thinking to yourself, you didn’t notice the person across from you staring at a face he found pretty for a long time. Choso thought you were playing it off as trying not to be a bother- and he was trying to form a plan to talk about it with you a little more. Hesitantly, he tries to start a conversation about the topic.

“Um… about last night…” he murmured unsurely. He looks down, to the side, at your plate, the fork you’re holding, anything but your face. You tilt your head sideways to signify that you’re listening. In your head, you were freaking out a little bit. Did you do something wrong? Did you do something embarrasing? How bad was it that he needed to confront to you about it?

You spoke up before he coud continue. “Oh- oh my god. If it’s anything I did, then I’m so so sorry for it!” you said, sitting up a little straighter.

Choso was lost. He looked at your genuinely clueless expression to confirm is theory.

You had genuinely forgot.

Alarmed by his sudden silence, you tried to clarify once more. “Really! I don’t remember a single thing! What did I do?” you exclaimed, honestly defending yourself. You put your hands up in the air as a gesture of surrender.

Choso, having snapped out from his momentary shock, tried to clear the air again. “Relax, you didn’t do anything…I’m just surprised you forgot, that’s all.” he said. 

He knew you didn’t believe his explaination, but you didn’t question further, which was all he needed to sit down and think about how to approach this. 

Still feeling ashamed, you quickly ate your breakfast and left his apartment in an attempt to avoid staying too long. Before you finish chewing, you get up and say, in a muffled tone, that you're going home. Then you go to the couch and gather your belongings. When you mutter "sorry" to him and Yuji, Choso nods in response and hands you your jacket. You closed the front door after putting on your shoes and shouting "Bye," your cheeks still flushed from the awkwardness.

Choso was still standing in the doorway, surprised on how fast you left. He should say sorry for embarrasing you, he thought. He felt a small nudge on his leg. He looked down as Yuji looked up at Choso and bluntly said, “She’s pretty. Why is she not your girl friend?” in little brother astonishment. Choso’s face reddended as he picked up Yuji and mubmled “That’s enough bro, thanks for your input.” Yuji giggled on Choso’s shoulder, kicking his legs and smiling. He smiled back. All he ever loved was you and Yuji. He wasn’t sure how, but he’ll get through with you one day. 

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Two weeks later, you had found another date to look forward to, getting over the last one pretty quickly, even if it hurt more than the others. This time, it was someone who looked promising. His name was Toji- someone who you met at online. You were a bit wary of him though, since he seemed like the type to abandon his own son and sell him to a clan who wants to kill him, but you weren’t too sure. That was what first dates were for, to learn more about them, right? 

It was 5pm, and you were starting to get ready to go to the bar where you guys planned to meet up. You hummed to your favorite song playing on a speaker nearby as you did your makeup, feeling just a bit nervous about the upcoming date. Generally, people online didn’t live up to much of your standards. As you were dabbing on blush, the doorbell rang. Curiously, you weren’t expecting anyone here at this time. Putting your brush down, you speed-walked to the door, yelling “Coming!” and looking through the peephole.

To your surprise, you saw an eye staring right back at you.

You inhaled a sharp breath before yanking your eye away from the hole and taking a step back from the door. Until you heard a familiar voice.

“Yuji, stop peeking in from that side. It won’t work,” said Choso.

“But I wanted to see if she was there yet!” Yuji’s voice whined.

Breathing a sigh of relief that it was just Choso and his brother, you unlocked and opened the door, being met with Yuji’s beaming smile and Choso right there with him. 

“Gosh, Yuji! You scared me with your eye!” you said. “Why are you here at my apartment anyway?” 

Choso sighed. “Because-”

“Because the skibidi toilet live stream is happening right now!! And it said to bring a friend for double aura points!!” Yuji continued, eyes sparkling.

You blinked at him once. Twice. Aura points? What’s that? You look up to Choso, silently asking him if what Yuji said was what is actually happening, and Choso just gave it a short nod.

“Umm… sure… You can-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Yuji rushed in, laughing. He quickly turned on the TV and navigated Youtube to pull up the livestream.

You turn your attention back to Choso. He coughs a little in his hand, then explains that that livestream told everyone to bring a friend, and Yuji insisted on going to your home to watch the livestream with him. 

You felt happy that Yuji chose you to be his friend watching with him, but then again, you had to go in around thirty minutes. You looked back at Yuji and then back to Choso.

“Um, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay and watch the whole livestream, Choso. I’m really sorry…” you said, a pit forming in your stomach.

Choso gave you a pointed look. “Another date?” he asked. You nod slowly, feeling regret that you couldn’t stay.

Choso was silent for a few seconds. 

He can stop you now, he thought. Now was a good opportunity to stop you from ruining yourself all over again. He just needed a place where you and him could talk about it without Yuji overhearing. 

Opening his mouth, he says nervously, “Hey, can we talk somewhere?”

Curious, you followed him into your bedroom. You closed the door behind you, and asked, “So what’s up?” 

Choso stood in front of the closed door and took a deep breath.

“Don’t go on that date.”

Immediately, your reaction was a quick “Huh?”. You registered what he said- you just didn’t believe it. 

Choso paused again. “I’m serious, y/n. Don’t go on that date.”

“Why?”

He didn’t answer for a second. He had his hands in his pockets, looking at the floor. His position didn’t come off as someone who was sure about what he was going to say, which made you question him even more.

“Why Choso? Do you… know this guy or anything?” you say, unsurely . “Or do you have magic powers and can tell the future?” you joke with a light smile, trying to ease the tension. 

He stayed silent for another second. “Just…don’t,” he reiterated, making you even more confused.

“Why? Should I be worried or anything?” 

Seeing him this unsure made you panic a little. You didn’t understand why he was being so secretive. Or maybe he was waiting for you to figure out the reason yourself?

“Is it because of him? Does he have a bad rep or anything I didn’t hear of?”

“No, I don’t know him. I just don’t want you to go.”

Huh? So what was his reason on why he doesn’t want you to go? Wait, was he saying that he doesn’t want you to go on the date, or he doesn’t want you to go in general, what did he mean?

“Oh, is it because of Yuji’s skibidi thing? Is that why you want me to stay?”

Choso could feel this conversation is going in the wrong direction. He needed to speak his mind- but how? 

“No, no it isn’t about that either… It’s…”

His sudden pause makes you fidgety. What did he have to tell you that was so important? You checked your phone for the time- 5:36. You needed to be going in almost ten minutes, and you still haven’t finished your makeup.

You don’t want to interupt Choso on what he wants to tell you- but what does he need to say that has to take this long for him to think about it?

“It’s what?”

He sighed. Maybe he should just tell his truth and go in blind. He saw you check your phone for the time, he knew you were getting a little impatient. He needed to be quick.

“Look, y/n. I don’t want you to go because… you need to give yourself time to heal before you move on.”

He did it. He said the words. You would have to get it now. By the end of this, you’ll get it. Maybe he’ll finally be able to stop you.

His words stunned you a bit. Heal? Move on? You already did, right? Why was he so concerned over this now? 

“What do you mean by that?” you ask. Truthfully- you knew exactly what he meant, you just needed to confirm it.

Choso hesitates. How is this the best way to put it?

“That last breakup you had, it was really rough, even for you. You know… when you called me to pick you up from the bar, and when you slept over… you sorta…” Choso sucked his teeth in. He wasn’t sure if he should be telling you this, while you were living in blissful ignorance. 

Your mind jumped to a horrible conclusion. If you had forgotten about the whole thing, of course he would feel uncomfortable with you going to meet with another person. 

“I what? Oh my god, Choso, did I do anything? I’m so, so, so sorry if you were uncomfortable, I-”

“No! No, don’t get the wrong idea.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. At least that didn’t happen.

Choso goes on. “It was nothing like that. Um, last time, you came to me really, really upset because of that breakup.”

You thought about his words. It should ring a bell, right? How could you forget about something like that? 

What did you even say though? You had completely forgot about the thing. No recollection at all.

“Choso, I think I completely forgot about that.”

He looks up at you. “I know you did. But I really think it should be unhealthy for you to move on so quickly.”

His words echo in your head. Honestly, they had a truth to it. 

On the second hand, why was he being so protective now?

“Choso, I think I get where you’re coming from, but I still need to go, you know.” You checked the time on your phone again. 5:38. You really, really had to be hurrying up now.

Yuji’s voice called from the living room. “Are you going to watch with me?”

Choso looked back at the door. He didn’t want to leave his little brother hanging, but he didn’t want to leave you again. 

You decided for him.

“I’m sorry Choso, I really am. How about I go on this date and see? Then we’ll talk about it more?”

You were definitely trying your best to compromise, get rid of the conversation, and get out as fast as you can, but Choso had other plans. 

“No,” he said affirmatively. “You need to stay in and let yourself rest.”

Your impatience was really getting a hold of you now. Why was he so insistent? Why couldn’t he just let you go? Was it really a big deal? 

Does he need to do this now? Right now? 

“Choso, I’m fine. Let me go.”

“No.”

“Let me go.”

“No.”

You clench your fists a little. You really shouldn’t be wasting time like this. 

“Choso, please. Why are you being so stingy about this? Since when did you start caring?”

“Since you texted me drunk and sobbed into my shoulder!”

The room was silent for a second. Did you really do that?

“I thought, after that, I would try to make and effort to not let you get yourself depressed like that ever again,” he said.

You looked at Choso in the eyes. He was staring right back into you. It all made so much more sense now. You now knew why he was trying to stop you.

But you can’t just bail out like this.

“Choso, I appreciate it. I really do. But please, I need to go to this one. It’s too late to cancel now. I’ll look like a bitch doing so.”

He was about to lose you. He didn’t want to wait another time to stop you. He had you now, why give up? He needed to say something, anything. Anything to give as an excuse. 

He grabs your wrist.

“Y/n…”

“Choso, I actually-”

“Y/n. I don’t want you to go because I love you.”

.

.

.

What?

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

a/n

whats up guys?! welcome to the fic that i thought was a good idea then it wasn't.

hopefully i will finish this though.

why did it take so long?

deco*27 monitoring reference yuji itadori?

originally y/n was gonna blow tf up and be a whole bitch then it felt weird so i had to rewrite the entire last part

when the plot is swiss cheesing.

or am i just reading into this too much?

hello brain rot yuji i love you with all my heart

thank you for reading <3

dividers by @.enchanthings @.adornedwithlight

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akaashi couldn’t be nonchalant as people made him out to be.

NOTE. Inspired by @/nethsukii’s post from TikTok!

Everyone always assumed Akaashi was the most level-headed person in the room, nonchalant in some cases, the calm voice amongst the chaos, the unshakeable setter with cool eyes and a brain that always operated two steps ahead.

That reputation didn’t change when he got a girlfriend—it intensified. People whispered about how lucky you were to have someone so composed, thoughtful, emotionally intelligent, and stable. A boyfriend who wouldn’t raise his voice, who’d remember anniversaries without being reminded, who’d bring you tea when you had cramps, and listen to you vent without interrupting.

And okay—yes. Two of those things were completely true.

But the “nonchalant” part? That one was a bit misleading.

Because if you asked Bokuto, or Konoha, or literally any of Akaashi’s closer friends, they’d tell you: he’s anything but nonchalant when it comes to you. Sure, he looks calm, but beneath that is a man whose brain short-circuits when you so much as bat your eyelashes at him thrice rather than twice. He’s an intense romantic disguised as a stoic intellectual. And the intensity isn’t dramatic or grand—it’s absurdly, endearingly specific.

“Did you know you sneeze in three stages?”

You blinked, pausing mid-bite of your grilled cheese sandwich. “What?”

Akaashi, seated across from you at his kitchen counter, wore his usual composed expression. His glasses slid a bit down his nose, but he didn’t push them up. He was too focused on you. “Three stages,” he repeated. “You do this little build-up thing first—your eyebrows scrunch, your nose wiggles like a bunny, and then you hold your breath for a second. That’s stage one.”

You stared at him with an expression of genuine confusion. “You studied my sneeze?”

“I observe,” he corrected smoothly, reaching for his cup of tea like this was just another normal afternoon conversation and not borderline concerning.

“Stage two is the sneeze itself. It’s never dainty. It’s loud. Forceful. Passionate.”

“That’s a weird adjective.”

“Am I wrong?” he asked, not missing a beat.

“Yes?” You looked down at your sandwich. “I… don’t know how to properly respond to that.”

Akaashi gave the faintest smile, his eyes flickering with mischief. “Stage three is the little sigh you do afterward. Like you just survived a great war. Then you sniff once and pretend it didn’t just shake the room.”

“You’re insane.”

“Maybe,” he admitted with a shrug, “but it’s endearing. You sneeze like a bazooka. It’s adorable.”

“No one’s ever called a bazooka adorable.”

“I’m a trailblazer,” he said matter-of-factly.

-

There were his journal entries—yes, journal entries—about you. You found one once by accident, tucked between a book of poetry and a volleyball strategy book. He didn’t write about major milestones like one might expect. No, you found out your boyfriend documented the way your nose crinkled when you lied, or how your left hand twitches a little when you were anxious.

There was an entire paragraph dedicated to the way you wrapped your scarf, how it was “disarmingly efficient, yet always crooked to the left, like her heart’s trying to lean on someone without asking.”

Who says that?

Akaashi Keiji, apparently.

He once paused mid-sentence in a phone call with Bokuto because you, half-asleep and grumpy, had mumbled something unintelligible from the other room (you had come over for a project and fell asleep after lunch). “She sounds like a disgruntled possum when she’s waking up,” he said dreamily. “It’s charming.”

...

“Akaashi. You okay?”

“More than okay.”

-

Akaashi even adjusted his wardrobe—not that he admitted it. You mentioned once, half-joking, that he looked really good in dark green, and suddenly half of his winter clothes were moss, olive, or emerald. You caught on when he started showing up with sleeves rolled halfway up because you once muttered something about liking the veins in his arms.

“Yum,” you murmur, squeezing his triceps before bursting into a fit of laughter after realizing how embarrassing you’re acting.

But you learned long ago that there was never such a thing as too embarrassing when Akaashi acted the same, if not to a greater degree. He wasn’t nonchalant. Not even close. He was... silly.

A helpless romantic who never made grand proclamations or public gestures but instead memorized the oddest, most mundane things about you like it was part of some sacred text.

And yet, he wasn’t clingy nor weird to the point of you being uncomfortable. He knows your boundaries well. He wasn’t overbearing or overly expressive. He just noticed. Quietly, constantly, lovingly. He didn’t tell you he loved you every day in words, but he knew the way you curled your pinky when you drank from your mug.

He knew you got cold at 3 a.m. even in the summer and always made sure a blanket was within reach. He noticed when you rewatched the same ten-minute section of your favorite show because you liked the background music.

He remembered the exact number of sugars you took in your coffee and the fact that your favorite mug was slightly chipped, but you used it anyway because it was a gift from your cousin. He once stopped mid-sentence while talking to Bokuto on the phone just to say, “She’s humming the Sailor Moon theme in the shower again,” with a fondness so full it made Bokuto gag.

Man, he was whole-body deep into loving you.

-

How Akaashi often spends a lot of time thinking about things that weren’t even that serious.

Like how, that one time, you laughed at someone else’s joke for a few seconds longer than how he’d normally get from you. He doesn’t even get jealous when someone’s flirting with you because he knows—you know—and you’re both trusting of one another.

But to hear you laugh for 1.7 seconds longer?

You might as well give up now, because this man is persistent.

“Are you seriously keeping time now?” you asked, laughing at his behavior.

“Yes, my dad raised me to be competitive.”

“Don’t bring him into this, Keiji,” you laughed.

He looked at you as if you hung the moon and individually painted the stars in the beautiful night sky itself. “You’re very pretty,” he says. “I think I might experience a heart attack.”

You hugged him so hard you nearly knocked his glasses off.

-

When you painted your nails—usually some soft pastel or neutral tone—he would watch intently, chin in his hand like an art critic evaluating a masterpiece. At first, you thought he was just being polite (to try and appear interested, since guys don’t usually find interest in these sorts of things), but when you noticed the way he always commented on the color and style like it was a whole personality trait, you realized it wasn’t an act.

“Oh, that shade of sage green,” he murmured once. “It makes your fingers look like they’ve been kissed by a forest spirit.”

“What does that even mean?” You laughed.

He blinked, entirely serious. “It’s a compliment.”

“Keiji, I told you. If you’re going through something, you tell me—not just like—act this way.” As a joke, of course.

He laughed too.

Eventually, Akaashi started doing them for you. It began as a fleeting thought—you had been painting your left hand with your non-dominant one, struggling to keep it clean, when he silently plucked the brush from you and started painting with delicate strokes.

“You’re going to mess it up,” you warned.

“I have steady hands,” he said with all the gravitas of a surgeon. “We did this in Home Economics, remember?”

“...Yeah.”

From then on, it became a quiet ritual. You’d sit in his lap or next to him on the bed while he carefully painted your nails (he prefers the first one but isn’t shameless enough to tell you most of the time), brows furrowed in concentration, tongue sometimes poking out as he focused too hard. And every time he picked a color, it came with an elaborate reason.

“This one reminds me of the sky right after it rains in early spring. Soft, muted, but a little hopeful.”

You’d pretend to roll your eyes, but your heart would always flutter. Because you won the boyfriend lottery with him.

Akaashi was just built like that. When you two cooked together, he’d narrate what you were doing like it was a documentary on divine beings. “And now, the goddess stirs the pot, bestowing warmth and nourishment unto mankind.”

“Stop it,” you giggled, flicking water at him. “Don’t narrate it like that. You’re making it sound like a case study.”

“But it’s fun,” he says with a smile.

“You’re so weird.”

“I’m so in love with you.”

And he truly is.

And you believe him.

Akaashi wasn’t nonchalant. He was soft-spoken, yes. Composed, yes. But behind that calm exterior was a boy with a mind full of your quirks and a heart that was overflowing with enough love to swallow you whole. And somehow, that made you feel even more lucky than you already were.

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