Qi Rong Is My Favorite Deranged Little Man Ever. Like Yes Omg Qi Rong Eat That Person Yes Qi Rong Cause

also that scene in the book where lwj magics wwx stuck on top of him in bed is like

wwx: i’m going to straddle him and bring our faces super close together to gross him out until he kicks me out and i simply won’t think about why none of this grosses me out haha

lwj: sigh.

the more you act like this, the more certain i am you’re you, dumbass

bc i know you’re just doing this to upset me and not bc you actually want it, i’m going to give you two chances to get the fuck off me

joke’s on you tho, i’m really enjoying this

i spent over a decade mourning your death and though i never lost hope i also never really expected to feel the weight of your body on top of mine and my heart is going to explode

it’s past 9pm, idiot, go to sleep

personally in torn in-between the two headcanons for the dynamics for Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan/Qingqiu.

on one hand, as a reader its sooooo funny to realize that Shang Qinghua's (the creator of the universe) main adversary is a twenty-something broke college student who literally DIED after reading the novel because the ending was That Bad. But, on the other hand, Shen Yuan being very famous and rich and well known is also undeniably hilarious.

imagine being the writer of twilight and finding out that Harry Styles has not only read your (very... interesting) book in full but had also systematically left anon hate AND has been sucked into your novel as Jacob Black and is banging Edward Cullen

I've solved it.

cumplane using modern slang and everybody thinks they have some secret undecipherable code language. somebody says “what is love” and they both simultaneously go “baby don’t hurt me.” they tell each other to “kay why ess” on a regular basis (sqq says it moreso than sqh). during peak lord meetings sqh will scribble a nonsensical meme on a napkin and slide it over to sqq and he’ll crack tf up. sometimes they’ll just purposely mess with people by stringing together the most contrived possible sentence while acting as if it’s completely normal and watch whoever they’re with speedrun all five stages of grief

Xie lian can be such a little shit and im am SO here for it!

Behold my rendition of this scene

Tianlang-jun: Master Shen, can I offer you something? Water? Tea? My nephew's hand in marriage?

Shen Qingqiu: what?

Tianlang-jun: Perhaps wine? Some snacks? My sons hand in marriage?

Shen Qingqiu: I-

Tianlang-jun: Tanghulu? Congee? My hand in marriage?

graduATEd summa cum laude from the university of servington with a major in cuntology and a masters in babygirlism, currently pursuing a doctorate in absolute slayage (and he doesn't know it yet but he's gonna specialize in mothering)

He Xuan probably spent a lot of time just staring at Xie Lian's statue at the Tonglu Mountain because there weren't many things to do whhen he killed everyone.

So when Hua Cheng tried to describe his noble, gracious special someone Black Water threw chopsticks at him and said that he would recognise this fucking face faster than Shi Wudu's