The Avengers Playing "never Have I Ever" Or A Similar Game, And Rhodey Goes "never Have I Ever Been Handcuffed".

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

Hotch-centric

AUs

Prof of Law Aaron Hotchner: AU where there is no BAU but there is a bunch of college profs

Professors: The second part to ^^ about Reid

Take Me To Church: bisexual!aaron Hotchner with religious trauma

If the Lord Don’t Forgive Me: Part two to Take Me To Church

Zombie AU: The BAU kicking zombie ass in an alt. universe because I think it would cool

Quanitco Hope: Grey’s Anatomy/CM AU (Hotchniss undertones but includes the whole team)

Moments Too Late: BAU College AU Part One | Part Two

BackStories & Things

In His Eyes: Hotch is very messed up

The Slow Crawl Back To Normal: the missing month between Nameless, Faceless and Haunted

Aaron Hotchner is…

God’s Gonna Cut You Down: my Aaron Hotchner backstory

Heredity: Aaron Hotchner thinks about who he is

In The Woods Somewhere: Haley loves wild, dying beasts

Just… Hurt

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child: Hotch is tortured by an UNSUB

Minimal Loss AU

The Physicality of Love: touch starved Aaron Hotchner

Route 66 Part 1

The Narcissist: “I choose Aaron Hotchner”

Aversions: Hotch is less than dealing with the events of Foyet’s attack.

The Shot That Tore Through The BAU: Hotch gets shot

November 22nd: It’s Hotch’s birthday

The Lies We Tell: lies people have told Hotch 

The Worst of it: the aftershocks of Emily’s death

Deaf! Hotch

Nightmare

Hand In Unlovable Hand: Hotch gets bitten by a snake and the team has to race to get him emergency attention

Heart Attack: they’re assured it was only a matter of time… that’s unsurprisingly not helpful

To Weigh the Odds: Morgan told him to take care of his son, so that’s exactly what he’s doing

Hand In Unlovable Hand: Hotch gets bitten by a rattlesnake

A Dull Aching Pain: Hotch can’t take it anymore

Heart Attack: they’re assured it was only a matter of time… that’s unsurprisingly not helpful

To Weigh the Odds: Morgan told him to take care of his son, so that’s exactly what he’s doing

A Wonderful Life: Car Wreck Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four| Part five 

No One to Wake You Up  

Been Having a Hard Time Adjusting: Pakistan doesn’t end so well for Hotch

Minimal Loss AU rewritten

Hold It Together: Hotch plays the damsel in distress

Cracks in the Ceiling: Route 66 stuff

Poker Face: Roy and Hotch

Envy for the Solid Ground 

Lie To Me: Another Cancer AU Part One | Part Two 

Pt1. // Pt.2 // next

Hood would never want to be verified and would actively hate being verified argue with the wall

for your SP au if u have time, how about a scene with injured/close to death!ichigo and kisuke losing it big time? idk i just feel like in this universe where even tho they're surrounded by people they know, theres also a sense of them only having each other, and after everything theyve been thru, one of them facing the possibility of losing the other could be rly trauamtizing.

Uhhhh… okay. Wow, alright, let’s see…

This takes place sometime far into the future. Well, not that far but like at least a couple years after the convo with Kaien and Shinji I guess?

Pinglist: @yoshifics @bewarethemandragora @runeofluna @selenedreamwalker@hypnos28 @verticallychallengedintrovert @fandommaniac2401 @lovingempress @cynthia-of-the-wallflowers@pairp @warriorofbooks @charlottedabookworm @lyra689 @sheyrenawyrsabane @sora-the-empress@xadriannax @yumeniai @oceanshimmerspirit-blog @stereden @lirial89 @midnight44442@srs2160 @running1way @midnightkaito

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1 & stucky

Bucky insists on putting their furniture together on his own, no help from anyone.

Steve knows why, of course. It’s the same reason why everyone on the team has hand-knitted scarves and hats and gloves. Same reason why their apartment is decorated in an odd mismatch of arts and crafts; pottery and homemade potpourri, random photographs in handmade frames, a wooden rocking chair that Bucky made at the Tower on a particularly bad weekend.

“It feels good,” Bucky told him one late evening; he only ever confessed these things at night. Steve understands. The darkness has been their secret keeper for as long as either of them can remember. “Rememberin’ that I was made for more than just killin’ people.”

So, yes. Steve knows exactly why Bucky prefers to do things himself but sometimes, well. Sometimes he just wishes Bucky would be practical about things.

Like now.

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pierce: captain america knows you exist and will now not let us be. you need to take care of him.

winter soldier: of course

——————

winter soldier: you should eat more. your serum would’ve affected your metabolism so if my calculations are correct, you ought to be eating at least twice the average human being.

steve, spilling his coffee: HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE

——————

steve, about to sleep: (:

winter soldier: it’s supposed to get super chilly around 2am so you should probably wrap up warm. here are some extra blankets

steve, startled: WERE YOU UNDER MY BED THIS WHOLE TIME

——————

steve, in a battle: dang i’m bleeding who shot me

winter soldier: here let me clean the wound and i’ve got a bandage right here just sit still don’t worry but when you’re done fighting you should probably get this looked at i know your serum heals you quicker but there might be something stuck in it and you don’t want your skin to grow over anything inside

steve, crying: who are you why are you following me

winter soldier: please be careful and make sure you get home safely

——————

steve, at peggy’s funeral: i can’t believe she’s gone

winter soldier, from behind: everything’s gonna be alright. she lived a long and fulfilling life. she loved you so much and she’d want you to carry on making a change in the world.

——————

pierce: soldat, mission report

winter soldier: mission is going well. captain rogers is eating more regularly, taking more care in battles, his exercise routine is no longer unhealthy. he is still grieving agent carter, but i believe he’ll be okay. last night he let me tuck him in-

pierce: i- that’s not what i meant

What if sex pollen has a very different effect on Bucky's body chemistry: increased libido, yes, but also adrenaline, aggression, jealousy and rage. He wants Steve, and he wants Steve /now/: to claim, to possess, to make Steve his. The urge, the need, is almost more psychological than physical. They literally can't send anyone else who isn't Steve into the room because Bucky might tear them apart. And when Steve finally gets there -- well. Bucky isn't going to let him go for a very long time.

This is so close to an Alpha heat and I am so into it.

And I bet Steve is, too. 

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Masterlist

(I understand any confusion! If you can’t find a specific fic just send me an ask with the title and I’ll tell you where to find it/give you the link **and a description in the ask would be great  because I don’t typically remember the titles**

The College ADHD hack thing

Hotchniss

Hotchgan(Mortch)

BAU FAMILY

Hotch-centric (AUs/Backstories)

Hotch Dynamics (Hotch + certain character interactions)

Reader Inserts

Whump

Grounded: Hotch pulls you off a case… you’re not happy about it

Head Cannons

List 1

List 2

Whumptober

“Let’s Hang Out Sometime”

“Get it out”

“I think I’ve broken something”

“Psych 101″

“Breathe in and breathe out”

#MoreHotchContent2020

The Gift: Dad!Hotch

“A Hug”: Emily & Hotch get hurt

School: Dad!Hotch dropping Jack off to school

Drive-By: Garcia kisses a distracted Hotch’s head

Cancer AU: A Cumbersome And Heavy Body

Chapter One: Tired of This Body

Chapter Two: Impatient They Start, Fearful at the End

Chapter Three: I’m Treading For My life, Believe Me

Chapter Four: How to Disappear Completely

Chapter Five: They Told Me That The End Is Near

Chapter Six: Looking In Their Eyes When They’re Down

As Long As It’s You: Mortch Boston AU

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Bruce has to spend a day working an important mission with the league at the watchtower but the kids are bored so he tells them as long as they don’t disrupt the JL’s work they can hang around the watchtower and then get takeout on the way home. they succeed in keeping themselves to themselves but don’t quite manage not being disrupting. this is because Tim convinced them to do a tiktok trend.

*the league, pouring over case files in serene silence*

*heard faintly from three rooms away*

Tim, Damian, and Jason: we listen and we don’t judge,

Jason: my original plan for terrorising B after coming back to Gotham was to start leaving him a bunch of creepy voicemails Taken-style, and the only reason i scrapped it was because i just genuinely couldn’t remember Bruce’s phone number.

*Bruce lifts his head, squinting slightly*

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Tim: when i was nine my camera broke because a rogue that Batman was fighting threw the car i left it in off a bridge and i was so mad at Batman that i sold photos i’d taken of Bruce Wayne wearing a thong on his private beach to the Gotham Gazette to buy a new one

*the rest of the league also lift their heads, staring at Bruce uncomfortably. Bruce shifts in his seat*

Jason: THAT WAS YOU?

Tim: YOU’RE JUDGING WE SAID NO JUDGING-

Damian: i feel like we should be able to judge OCCASIONALLY.

*the league, eyeing each other*

Clark: they wont… post that video online, right?

Bruce, sighing: to the family groupchat, probably.

*heard again from across the watchtower*

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Jason: back in the league Damian’s hamster died and we told him it was natural causes but it’s actually because i set it loose during a meeting and Ra’s freaked out and stepped on it.

Jason: OK DRAWING A SWORD MEANS JUDGEMENT DAMIAN PUT IT BACK-

Diana: should you be… checking on them?

Bruce, dead inside: what am i supposed to do about it?

Ollie: aren’t you in charge of them?

Bruce, completely seriously: i’m not in charge of anything anymore.

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Damian: when I was a child I was forced to kill 183 people and I dream of their faces every night

Tim: Damian I don’t think you understand the game.

Bruce, getting up: I’m going to go-

The rest of the league, simultaneously:

Clark: see if the kids are-

Diana: we can handle this-

Barry: you got this buddy-

Ollie: yeah go- go take a break-

Imagine Dick actually adopted Jason. Like that's so chaotic— especially when Jason comes back from the dead.

12 year old Jason: Hey, Dick? Since I'm adopted by you, does that mean you're my father?

18 year old Dick: ...I'm still too young to called dad so no, I'm just your legal guardian.

Jason: Okay, dad.

Dick, tearing up: Please no.

——————

Jason after resurrection as Red Hood: I am your son.

Dick dating Wally: Tf?????? How would I— JASON?

——————

Bruce: All of you are my sons.

Jason: Technically, I'm your grandson.

Damian and Tim: ?????? What.

Dick: Technically he's right. You've been a grandpa since I was 18.

Bruce: ...Fuck, I forgot about that.

Damian and Tim: WHAT THE FUCK?????

——————

Bruce and Jason arguing:

Bruce: You're grounded!

Jason: TF? You're not my dad, Dick is!

Dick: Please, for the last time, I'm not really your dad.

Jason's dramatic ass: GASPS?! I'M ADOPTED?!