1 & Stucky

jason: why are you looking at me like that?

damian, age 4, wondering why jason looks white if he's his brother: you're colored wrong

jason: what the fuck?

Jason, stubs his toe: Damn!

Bruce: Language!

Alfred, drops a plate: Oh fucking hell!

Bruce looks horrified and Jason looks excited.

Alfred: Master Bruce, I would suggest you close your mouth before you catch flies.

I headcanon that Ichigo can smile like Unohana, but he just doesn't do that, because he's scowling and irritated often, but not cold-like angered or raged.

Trully angered Ichigo is cooooold and quiet, but the most terrifiyng part begins when he *smiles*

And when Urahara aka mad-scientist-extraordinaire decided to see how far he can make Ichigo angry-

He saw in every detail how the scowl slowly faded and watched in crippling horror how the edges smoothed and the softest, sweetest smile he's ever seen appeared on Ichigo's face.

The shudder ran down his spine when Ichigo proceeded to say in the gentlest way possible:

"I'll plug out your spine and hang you on it in three, two-"

And then no one saw Urahara for the whole week.

i've just decided you're all wrong and the actual funniest scenario of the league not knowing bruce has kids until they take his place as batman during league meetings is the scenario where bruce never even asked them to pretend to be batman.

when he can't make an important meeting he sends either jason or dick in his place just as themselves, because if he can vouch for them as proxys then why would the league have an issue with it? they just need to show up and say they're there to take notes for batman or something, there's no need to lie. he doesn't even realise that his identity is being stolen until he shows up after a meeting he sent a sub in for and when he shows up everyone is staring at him awkwardly.

batman: what's everybody looking at

green lantern: nothing! we're just... concerned.

flash: yeah... how was your surgery?

batman:

batman: what surgery

green lantern: ...well you ran out of the meeting last week yelling about how you were going to be late for your 'piles removal operation'

green lantern: so uh. how'd it go big guy?

batman:

batman: i wasn't here last week. jason was.

the league:

flash: who the fucks jason

batman:

batman: *slowly turns to superman, who is staring at the table stubbornly*

batman: clark-

superman: THE KIDS SEEMED SO EXCITED TO DRESS UP, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE BORING UNCLE AND SAY NO!

bruce ends up calling jason in front of the league to demand an explanation and clear his name. jason straight up doesn't even remember what he did.

jason, on call: oh hey B, thought you were at a JL meeting this afternoon?

bruce: i am. what happened last week?

jason: i sent tim the report to hand over already! i didn't get all of it though, i had to leave real quick towards the end because damian was threatening to set my safe house on fire if i didn't pick him up from school

bruce: and the league let you go early?

jason: yeah i made some excuse, i think i said-

jason: *pauses, remembering what he'd done*

jason: oh my god

bruce lays his head on the table while jason laughs through the loud speaker for the next eight minutes.

so i was going through your uraichi tag and i came across that picture of ichigo crouched between urahara and yoruichi, and it got me thinking. what's she think of all of this?

I assume you mean in the SP!AU? Well, um.

Have I mentioned how much I hate writing Yoruichi pov

This takes place sometime after Ichigo graduates but before the convo with Kaien and Shinji.

Okay, here we go:

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can you tell us more about indecently jiggly Steve? like does he ever get off just from Bucky playing with his tits? I love oblivious Steve who doesn't even realize what he's doing to Bucky by wearing those all too tight shirts, but I also love Steve who teases Bucky and gets him all riled up by walking around in just those short shorts of his. idk.

okay but consider:

Steve in tiny little booty shorts and a tight crop top.

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omg #22

Okay but when does Aizen /realize/ they're equals who're in this mess together? Is that when he finally catches on to the fact that he inadvertently fell for the Ichigo Effect™?

Lol basically yeah, but I think it would take a while for him to put it all together. And not just time but moments - they already eat together pretty regularly but Aizen could see that as the only times when they can update each other on what’s been going on, and they are, more or less, but they’re also Ichigo inviting him into his home and Aizen cooking because Ichigo’s busy with leftover paperwork, and just meeting up more and more often to see each other/check up on each other instead of just for end-of-the-world business.

And maybe Aizen stays late one night and Ichigo nods off over the research they’re doing into the Wandenreich and Aizen ends up having to deal with Ichigo in the clutches of a nightmare. He debates leaving but doesn’t. He debates shaking Ichigo awake and does, but he also debates returning to their research and pretending nothing happened and he doesn’t. Instead, he fixes them some tea and pushes a cup into Ichigo’s shaking hands and sits beside him in a steady sort of silence until Ichigo calms. They don’t talk about whatever the nightmare was about, but Aizen returns the next evening with a list of teas that soothes the mind and encourages peaceful slumber.

(It’s the first time in a long time he is genuinely kind without an ulterior motive and he doesn’t even realize the impact of it on both of them until much later.)

Or Shinji pushes too far one day, because he has no idea what’s been going on with Aizen lately but it frustrates and worries him, because if his lieutenant thinks he can get his manipulative paws on the Shiba Clan through their youngest Shinigami graduate, he can think again. And Aizen usually lets all his captain’s mockery and suspicion slide right off him, but he has his sore spots too - things like growing up in Rukongai and getting locked up in Muken are memories he will never admit still bother him, but flashbacks don’t need permission to creep up on him, and maybe Shinji bites out a threat too far one day, tells Aizen that creeping on the Shiba boy any more than he already has might just result in a permanent trip to Seireitei’s deepest, darkest hole, and he doesn’t even mean it, not entirely, heck he doesn’t even think it would be something that would scare Aizen at all, but for a moment, all Aizen can see is nothing - no sound, no sight, no smell, no sensation - not even just darkness but a nothingness so endless that there were times when he felt he would lose himself in it, swallowed whole until his mind was a splintered thing and his body a soulless husk.

Shinji almost loses his life that day because Aizen deals with threats the way he’s always dealt with them - kill them before they can kill him - and it is very fortunate for everyone involved that Ichigo chose to visit that day. Ichigo catches Aizen’s wrist before he can do more than grip his Zanpakutou, and Shinji only gets time to blink and maybe begin to realize that he’s actually fucked up with his lieutenant for the first time ever, before they’re gone, Ichigo Shunpoing them both out of the building, out of Seireitei even, and straight into the sprawling woods in one of the Shiba compounds dotting the richer districts of Rukongai. He lets go as soon as they’re safe, activates the seals a half second later, and then he has no more time to think as Aizen lashes out, something borderline feral glinting in his eyes, fighting his mind as much as he’s fighting everything he can reach. It takes a full hour and an entire forest razed to the ground before he calms. They’re both bleeding and breathing hard, clothes torn and dirty, and it’s the first time Aizen has ever been able to let loose in a spar without killing his opponent in the process. He gets half a second to wonder if he should - for once - apologize, because he hasn’t lost control like that in centuries, but Ichigo just asks him if he’s alright now and what happened and does he need to punch someone in the face.

(Aizen doesn’t tell him but Ichigo breaks Shinji’s nose anyway.)

And there are other little moments, some that Aizen writes off or doesn’t even notice their significance, but they pile up, one by one, until it all just clicks one day, when he’s swinging by the Twelfth to pick Ichigo up for lunch and maybe amuse himself with Urahara’s thinly veiled jealousy as the captain watches his own Fourth Seat leave obliviously with Aizen for their lunch break.

(And even former would-be overlords can have silent panic attacks about EMOTION.)

Pt1. // Pt.2 // next

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