Bro Imagine You Are Fukuzawa And Your Son Comes In Hand In Hand With The Weird Racoon Boy That You Swear

Do your best, Alba. 

It was fun.

x

always so weird when i see people talking about "miles edgeworth" fleeing to europe and prosecuting there or w/e. that's kilometers edgeworth to you

Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?

Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.

Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.

Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?

@dickgraysonweek Day 7: A Celebration of 83 Years

Which Hypmic character do you think is most likely to commit tax fraud? (for some reason i genuinely wanna see your answer to this question NDBWKJDHWKFLWFNBW)

When I mentioned this as an offhand comment elsewhere, I was definitely thinking Rei, but you know what? That's too easy. We can do better. Let's take a deep dive into Hypmic characters and their potential to commit tax fraud.

Ichirou - Ichirou would never knowingly commit tax fraud because he is a good boy at heart, but would he know to pay enterprise tax? Is Ichirou receiving cash under the table from the ol' grannies of Ikebukuro and not reporting it to the government? Does Yamada Odd Jobs even have a business license? This is doubtful, considering that Ichirou is breaking child labor laws by employing Saburou. (Children under the age of 15 cannot be employed for the kind of work the BBs do.) Unless Saburou is not listed as an employee, which means that Ichirou is either paying him off the record (tax fraud!) or not paying him at all (also illegal!). There's also some questionableness about him employing Jirou, as children under the age of 18 cannot be employed for anything that is dangerous or harmful, and any jobs involving rapping with the country's weapon of choice would certainly qualify as dangerous. This whole operation is a lawyer's nightmare. Like father, like son.

Jirou - Do you seriously think Jirou knows how to calculate and file taxes? Hoo baby. This is, of course, assuming that Ichirou (as his employer) doesn't do it for him and also assuming, of course, that Ichirou pays Jirou and pays taxes, both of which I'm not sure we can comfortably decide on our own.

Saburou - Saburou is one of the very few people in this list capable of filing taxes and simultaneously one of the even fewer people in this list capable of creating an offshore account in the Cayman Islands in which to hide his ill-gotten wealth.

Samatoki - Samatoki works for the Katen-gumi yakuza, an organized crime syndicate, but yet he doesn't smuggle weapons, doesn't deal drugs, doesn't extort the locals for money, doesn't act as a pimp for sex workers, doesn't own any casinos, and doesn't loanshark. In fact, he's made clear his disdain for almost all of the things on this list and beats up those who do happen to do the activities on this list. So what exactly does this gang do that's actually criminal? By process of elimination, it's probably tax fraud. They probably own a bunch of restaurants and other small businesses as fronts and just, like, pay half taxes on everything. Scandalous.

Juuto - I cannot look at Juuto and say with a straight face that he doesn't commit some kind of tax fraud.

Riou - He doesn't pay property tax on the land he camps on. I doubt he owns it, so this is less tax fraud and more being a squatter. Either way, illegal.

Ramuda - I don't think Ramuda has a legal government identity - or rather, he probably does, but it's shared with all the clones. This means that while another clone is owning his shop and business (and thus paying property tax, personal income tax, and enterprise tax), he and the other clones are still, presumably, eating food and thus all paying consumption tax. Ramuda's legal identity is therefore paying MORE taxes than anyone else. Does this count as negative fraud?

Gentarou - Assuming that Gentarou is not his legal name, Gentarou is apparently filing taxes under someone else's name which definitely counts.

Dice - Dice is a freeter, and so the matter of his income tax is left up to his various employers. I am positive that the Tobaris did not pay income tax for that smuggling operation he ran in FP/M+ chapters 1 - 4, meaning that Dice has once again unknowingly committed a crime.

Jakurai - Jakurai seems like the one person who would sincerely do all his taxes and, moreover, do them correctly.

Hifumi - Prior to the H Age, Hifumi was a good boy who filed all his taxes properly. Now that the local government office is overrun by women, Hifumi is too terrified to go file for a tax return, which can be necessary if an employee makes over 20,000,000 yen a year. I don't know how much Hifumi makes, but this isn't outside of the realm of possibility. Tax fraud! (Or he just makes Doppo do it. Or there's electronic filing. But shh.)

Doppo - I think his employers would just handle all his income tax by withholding it from his salary, as is standard. There might be some screwy-dewyness from the amount of overtime he works, but this is really on his employer, not him.

Sasara - He would do it only once, and never again, just to say "Tax fraud? More like I'm tax flawed, am I right?"

Roshou - Roshou might run into trouble as an employee of Rei, who is most certainly not filing taxes. This is kind of fraud by proxy.

Rei - Yeah.

Kuukou - As a priest, Kuukou may be exempt from paying income tax for activities that are "related to the purpose of the organization [of the Buddhist temple]" (page 167), but this necessitates that Kuukou has an income. Certainly, we've seen him buy things before, but... where does the money come from? Presumably, he has an allowance from his father or is actually paid by his father for whatever priestly duties he does (cleaning the temple...?), and so the question then becomes whether or not those activities count as religious (I'm going to hazard a guess that cleaning does not count) and whether or not his father handles the bookkeeping correctly, as I don't trust Kuukou to handle his own taxes.

Juushi - I bet he has Hitoya help him with his income taxes. He's a good kid who wouldn't mess it up on purpose.

Hitoya - Hitoya writes off both Kuukou and Juushi as dependents, which probably isn't legal as Juushi almost certainly makes more than 480,000 a year. It also isn't legal in the sense that they're not financially dependent on Hitoya, but his argument is that they're emotionally dependent on him, which should qualify him for an even larger deduction.

Final takeaway:

[Image description: Griffin McElroy holding up a sign that has been edited to read, "I don't understand taxes and at this point I'm too afraid to ask." End description.]

that one line in chapter 9 has haunted me ever since. this is the result of that brainrot. thank you for reading!

i dont want to get out of bed to draw this but i gotta write it:

Aki: I’m going on a…… date

Power and Denji: Ew a date? who would date you? is it a boy? Are you gay?

Denji: If you’re dating girl she should dump you and date me. But its probably a boy cause you’re gay

Power: Yeah you’re a [wildly offensive 90s gay slur]!

Denji and Aki: That’s so fucked up. Power what’s wrong with you? That’s so offensive.

Power: [cries and throws a fit and flushes all the vegetables in the house down the toilet]

Aki: [has to reschedule his date because thats the only time the plumber can come over]

Anyway if this post reaches 30000 notes I'll sit down and professionally film a Goncharov movie scene you can send to people who claim it's not real. This is completely serious, I've made movies before and I'm willing to do it for the memes.

Hmmm