“I don’t know gang…”
“C’mon, you can’t leave us hanging!”
“Yeah, you’ll love camping!”
“I love plumbing. And a mattress.”
“The cabin overlooking the clearing has showers and everything, and plus, if it gets really bad we can just hole up in there for a while. It’s got three floors!”
“Really? That’s quite a lot for a camping cabin.”
“Yeah! The basement, the main floor and the attic!”
“…Excuse me?”
“What?”
“You booked a cabin in the middle of the woods with a basement and an attic?”
“Technically we can’t go into the basement, it’s like super locked.”
“Which means?”
“In the pictures there are three locked chains on the door, see?”
“THERE’S ALSO A FUCKING HAND REACHING THROUGH THE GAP UNDERNEATH?!”
“No, I’m pretty sure that’s just a trick of the light. Or the decor. It’s really gothic.”
“Gothic?! Yeah no pass your phone, I want to- gargoyles. Hunting trophies. Why not. Did you even- IS THAT A CLOWN STATUE?”
“Relax, it does a side gig as a venue for haunted houses. That’s probably where the hand came from: Halloween decorations.”
“…And nothing about this is giving you a red flag?”
“Ok, seriously, relax, you are so dramatic, it’s probably wine not an actual bloodstain-“
“I didn’t see a bloodstain?!”
“Oh see it’s right there next to the fireplace with the axes above the mantle.”
“Just no.”
“Hey folks, I did check the weather and it will be heavy storms so we’ll just have to tough it- what’s up with Red?”
“They are weirded out by the log cabin.”
“CLOWN STATUE. BLOODSTAIN. LOCKED BASEMENT. What does the attic also have to be a meat locker for you to give this idea any thought?”
“It says the owners only kept the meat cleavers after they refurbished it.”
“Ooo, that’s why it’s so spacious, old farmhouse.”
“Right? It’s so rustic!”
“We’re going to die.”
“Look Red, we don’t want to go on this without you. It’s only last freedom before uni, right?”
“If you say we’re out, we’re out.”
“I’m sorry, but it really gives me a bad feeling.”
“No that’s perfectly ok. You’re not happy, none of us are happy.”
“Tell me the deposit wasn’t non-refundable.”
“It’s fine, we got it for dirt cheap, this flyer showed up through the door and the number we called practically gave it to us for free.”
“It’s going to be tricky finding somewhere that cheap again. And when we booked it in person, the lady was so nice, she even gave us this cool themed skull key for the door!”
“Oh! I got an ad for an old castle that needs house-sitting! They’ll even pay us to be there and it looks really nice, and it needs a minimum of five people and we fit perfectly.”
“Let’s see?”
“I love those paintings in the hall, so lifelike. Skilled artists, you guys.”
“None of you are allowed to make decisions anymore. I pick where we go next.”
getting horror movie vibes from the trip your friends were planning, you decided to simply stay home.
Tim who is scarily good at the Hitman games.
Everyone is good with it mostly, excluding Cass who won’t play it, with everyone having completed the first few missions at least during a training exercise made by Jason who was hiding an injury and came up with the idea on the spot.
This is how they find out that not only does Tim already have all the games, he’s finished them all, got all the achievements and has over 2,000+ hours.
Turns out it’s what he plays when he feels his mind is running too rampant and needs reigning in. He knows all the secrets and has a spreadsheet made up of all the ways you can complete a mission per chapter. He has a strategy for each type of assassination from getting someone else to do it, killing everyone, making it look like an accident, ect. He’s even managed to kill every soldier in some chapters without getting caught and somehow managed to save Diana from being shot by 47?
It’s kind of scary watching him seamlessly navigate around any new map that comes out and complete all missions under a self imposed time limit.
(His record is 1 minute and 27 seconds)
Bruce is naturally worried and it isn’t helped when the response to these concerns is, “would you rather I do it in real life?”
Tim can do it in real life, came closest with Captain Boomerang, and he has at least thirty ideas of how to kill everyone in his life subconsciously. He doesn’t want to, nor will he ever act on it, but it’s sort of… fun.
It’s like puzzle solving but with higher stakes and Hitman is a good way to test his theories without actually killing anyone.
If playing Hitman made him test how sneakily he could drug people by putting sugar in peoples drinks at Galas when he was nine, that’s just childish curiosity. Plus, it made him put out a campaign when he was older to prevent drugging because he himself knows how easy it is, so win win.
At least he didn’t shave his head like he thought about, though that was only because a certain acrobat did it and made Tim realise how unstylish it was if it wasn’t natural.
At the end of the day playing Hitman made him a better Robin and helped him sneak around the League of Assassin’s base that was filled with people even 47 would struggle against.
And he won the training exercise.
More brutalia fam content! Headcanon Talia uses ig occasionally 😆
Bruce Wayne could probably not care any less for social media but is willing to pose for her stories.
Talia and Bruce looking spectacular at a gala event but Damian just wants Titus to be known.
Thank you to the amazing @ube-kun for these pieces :)) saw them post another fanart on tw about Talia and Damian and I found it so cute, had to commission too
do you guys think considering the relatively small age gap between Damian and Tim (depending on the author) that they would have been in school together? because coming from a youngest sibling who went to school with older siblings, that would be really interesting to look into.
i’m imagining Tim getting pulled out of class because Damian’s thrown a tantrum and refuses to listen to any of the teachers and they need his brother to convince him to calm down, and it actually working because Tim is the only person Damian is familiar with and so will ever listen to. Damian having no interest in making friends with civilians so he ends up sat on the end of Tim’s lunch table while Tim eats with his friends. Tim getting bullies in Damian’s class to back off, and Damian scuffing his foot on the tiles of the school halls as he waits for Tim to get out of detention so they can walk home together like usual.
considering how strained their relationship was when Damian first arrived in Gotham, putting him in an environment five days a week where suddenly Tim is his only true familiar ally and he has no choice but to accept being on friendlier terms would be really fucking interesting. suddenly Tim is his protector, and although he refuses to let that effect their home dynamic, he does have to accept that at school at least, he needs Tim to be his older brother.
Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.
Bruce, at a neighborhood gathering, talking to Jack Drake: Where's Janet?
Jack: Oh, she's sitting down. Carrying a baby all day really tires you out. Speaking of which, you haven't met Timothy yet!
Jack, stealing Tim from Janet to show him to Bruce: Look at this piece of heaven that came down just for us!
Baby Tim: bah •_-
Bruce: ...
Bruce, mentally: Yeah, I need to take him home. I need to raise that thing. He's perfect.
- years later-
Bruce, at Jack’s funeral with Tim at his side: I was playing the long game, idiot.
Tim, through tears: What..?
Bruce, putting an arm around him: Nothing, sweetheart.