Miss Piggy's response to misogyny and fatphobia is physical violence and I think we should all take something from that
obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.
Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-
*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*
Bruce:
Bruce: uh-
Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.
the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.
eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.
Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?
Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.
Bruce, crying: oh
Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.
one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.
after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.
Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal
Damian: is anything about any of us normal
Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.
Dick:
Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.
Dick, crying: ok
Ugh scenarios where Bruce is literally suicidal, and has made many attempts, but keeps getting interrupted by his kids and alfred but they don't realise what he was going to do?and they don't know his mental state was that bad?? Sign me up cause I fucking love angst and hurt/comfort
13 yr old Bruce about to slit his throat in the bathroom, but alfred comes out of nowhere and tells him dinner is ready, he made his favourite cause he saw he looked off recently, and Bruce just goes out calmly and hugs him super tight?? Bruce, about to make a decision to end his life after he's all done raising dick (after he becomes nightwing) and knows that dick is set on the right path now and going to crime alley where his parents were shot to end it but ends up meeting jason instead?? After jason when he tied up all loose ends, closed cases, secured gotham good enough, About to go on patrol for one last time, then after he'll jump off, but then meets tim that evening saying he knows who he is?? Meeting cass just when he was planning to do it cause he genuinely hated himself, but seeing so many similarities between him and cass, knowing she sees them too and scared that after he suicides she'll get those ideas too cause they're so similar? Decides to try to help her?? Meeting nightwing when he was going to jump off cause dick wanted to surprise him from blud and he just thought Bruce was brooding?? getting a call from Damain in the middle of the day when he was about to stage a car crash and listens as damian (mad at him) asks him to come to the school to pick him up cause he got suspended for 2 days for knocking out a student for being racist.
CAN U IMAGINE A CONFRONTATION WHERE BRUCE THOUGHT THEY ALREADY KNEW?? AND HES TAKING THIS CASUAL BUT THEYRE FUCKING NOT??
Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.
Do you think the rouges think there is a new Robin every time they change something about themselves because honestly the robins all look pretty similar so the only way to tell was in the style choices
They know Batman gets a new Robin occasionally but they don’t know when which leads to them thinking that Batman got a new sidekick after like a hair cut or a suit change
Riddler: oh I see Batman got a new Robin needed the newer version hm?
Tim drake got a hair cut: (gets punched when he pauses in confusion)
Tim in the midst of puberty and his voice got deeper: stop right there joker
Joker: ooh a new bird to kill how fun I should get my crow bar polished
Harley and ivy robing a bank just as Damian shows up
Harley: ok this is getting ridiculous we need to have a intervention for you batsy there is no way you can give your children enough emotional support and attention if you adopt a new one once a month
Damian who redesigned his suit: wha-
Batman pinching the bridge of his nose: same kid Harley
Ivy: are you sure about that
Harley: yea are ya sure you didn’t adopt one without realizing it batsy?
Batman glances at Damian unsure:
Damian: Father!
You know all those humans are space orcs posts about how we anthropomorphise inanimate objects? Next time a computer asks me to confirm I’m human, I’m telling it about Fang, the small paper shredder at a neighbours house I met while helping her with organising and ended up feeding him different things over the course of a while bc there was that much to get rid of and if he ate too fast he overheated and had to be given time to calm down.
I cannot stress enough, he was not my paper shredder. He was the size of a waste paper bin under a desk, really simple. He was not named Fang by his owner. I have never not referred to him as Fang.
I spent a couple hours with Fang one day in the summer. It’s been years, I still think about Fang fairly regularly and consider getting a paper shredder like one might consider getting a dog. The worst part is everytime I get to that point in the line of thought, I think it wouldn’t be the same because it’s not Fang.
So I get emotionally invested in things quick.
every so often, i think, and it might be so selfish of me, but i crave to be someone's first choice. i want to be the person that someone sees fun things to do and their first thought is to ask me to go with them. i want someone to be willing to inconvenience themselves a little bit sometimes for me as i would do for them. i want to be looked at in a list of people and to have someone pick me out of all of them. i want to be held at the same level as a romantic partner in terms of effort and closeness. i want someone to want me as much as i want them, even though it's not in a romantic sense. i want to be important to someone.
i need more hero worship between tim and jason. tim thinking that jason’s entire deal is just so fucking cool. like he was robin, he died, came back to life, got dunked in the lazarus pit and learned to control the pit rage, got magic swords, and is now a scary ass legendary crime lord that runs crime alley and protects all of its people WHILE consistently pissing bruce off every night. tim thinks jason is AWESOME, and he cannot beLIEVE that he gets to hang out with him.
jason on the other hand has no idea tim thinks he’s cool. jason considers himself to be a violent nerd, the ‘dumber’ section of his and dick’s ‘dumb and dumber’ childhood duo. he’s an introverted asshole who actively beat this kid UP once, not to mention his only other experience with little brothers is fucking DAMIAN, who although the kid clearly loves and respects him in his own weird little way, would rather chew off his own hand than admit anything about jason was in any way cool. the idea that tim would look up to him? laughable. he has no idea why this kid keeps trying to follow him on patrol or come up with excuses to hang out together, and honestly the starry eyes he keeps getting from time to time kinda scare him. like what does that mean. why does he do that.
dick finds it fucking hysterical. he knows jason is tim’s personal hero and even better he knows full well that jason would literally never even consider tim respecting him as a possibility. he watches tim eagerly ask every batfamily meeting if ‘jason’s gonna come?’ and when jason arrives, jump around him during debriefs like a puppy trying to convince an old dog to come play, and jason is always just stood there with the most fucking confused look on his face-
eventually he cant take it and has to pull jason aside.
dick: he just looks up to you, man. give him a little attention!
jason: looks up to… me?
dick: yeah, you’re his hero
jason: two weeks ago i was drinking tea through a gap in the mouth section of the helmet and i watched you smack into a lamppost, and i laughed so hard that i snorted the tea out my nostrils and into the rest of the helmet and almost drowned myself.
dick:
jason: he was there for that dick. he saw it. and you think he considers me a hero?
dick: look i dont understand it either just let him tag along ok-
Dick: You use to be so cute and tiny..
Jason: And you use to be cool. We both changed.
Dick: Wha-?! I'm still cool!!
Jason: Okay, 'officer Grayson'. Cops aren't cool.
Dick: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO
Jason: STILL FRESH IN MY MIND, PIG!
Dick: LET IT GO!
Jason: NO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID FUCK THE POLICE! THOSE WERE WORDS I LIVED BY!
Dick: OH MY GOD. YOURE THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL REMEMBERS THAT!
Tim, walking into the living room: I remember it.
Duke, from another room: I heard about it! You've lost 1000 aura man!
Cassandra, poking her head in: I've also heard about it.
Dick: EVERYONE SHUT UP.
Jason: Just like a cop to order people around like that, shameless.
Dick, groans: Fuuuuck-!
Dick: All of you are going to make me age like milk!
Damian, popping up behind him: Is it wrong to say it's too late for that?
Dick, practically shaking: Damian..I swear to God.