Tim is typing furiously at his laptop when Damian walks in, holding a katana.
Damian: Drake, do you know what time it is?
Tim: not looking up Uh, noon?
Damian: Wrong. It’s time for you to perish.
Tim: still typing Can it wait until I finish this report for Bruce?
Damian: pauses …Very well. But know that your doom is imminent.
Five minutes later, Damian returns with snacks and silently places them next to Tim.
Tim: smirks Thanks for the snacks, future executioner.
Damian: huffs I refuse to let you die of starvation before I defeat you.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Batman isn’t the only one fiercely protective of his Robins.
Jason’s death led to the Rogues turning against the Joker—especially Harley. By then, she had already realized the extent of his abuse and had left him. So when she learned that her favorite Robin—a tough Crime Alley kid—had been beaten to death by her ex the first time she wasn’t around, she went ballistic.
Once, a newcomer held Nightwing at gunpoint and tried to unmask him on live television. When Harvey Dent saw how close this was to his own hideout, he knew he couldn’t let it slide. He wasn’t blind or foolish—he knew exactly who Nightwing was. The first Robin. A ray of sunshine—badass yet kind. Harvey took only a second to recall how that same little Robin had once helped him through a dissociative episode, choosing to assist rather than arrest him. And that was enough. The newcomer was never seen again.
As much as Damian disliked how close Catwoman was to his father, Selina adored the little kitten. He was honest, fierce, and compassionate in his own way. She loved that he shared her fondness for cats and animals. So when the shelter Damian volunteered at was attacked by Black Mask’s goons, Selina made sure that by the end of the month, Roman wouldn’t have a single piece of art left in his collection.
Eddie could hardly deny that his favorite Robin was the third one. After all, that particular little bird not only respected him as the Riddler but could also solve all his riddles effortlessly. So when a few goons rudely barged into their monthly riddle session, Eddie was not amused. He made sure they knew it.
Consider this your warning: Do not harm the Robins. Unless, of course, you fancy some trouble with the Rogues.
Dick: You use to be so cute and tiny..
Jason: And you use to be cool. We both changed.
Dick: Wha-?! I'm still cool!!
Jason: Okay, 'officer Grayson'. Cops aren't cool.
Dick: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO
Jason: STILL FRESH IN MY MIND, PIG!
Dick: LET IT GO!
Jason: NO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID FUCK THE POLICE! THOSE WERE WORDS I LIVED BY!
Dick: OH MY GOD. YOURE THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL REMEMBERS THAT!
Tim, walking into the living room: I remember it.
Duke, from another room: I heard about it! You've lost 1000 aura man!
Cassandra, poking her head in: I've also heard about it.
Dick: EVERYONE SHUT UP.
Jason: Just like a cop to order people around like that, shameless.
Dick, groans: Fuuuuck-!
Dick: All of you are going to make me age like milk!
Damian, popping up behind him: Is it wrong to say it's too late for that?
Dick, practically shaking: Damian..I swear to God.
Reverse of this post.
That kind of situation where Steve is the very supportive “ally” and totally knows Eddie is gay. And Steve, bless his heart, just really, really wants Eddie to feel safe—so he does everything he can to show he’s cool with it.
And he’s absolutely, completely, mind-blowingly unaware that he’s been dating Eddie Munson for years.
1986: Steve: “You’ve never been on a date with a guy? No worries, man—I’m technically a guy. I’ll go with you.” Eddie, blinking: “…Okay?”
1986: Steve: “You’ve never kissed a guy? That’s fine, it’s kinda like this…” Eddie, stunned: That was not ‘kind of like’—that was a kiss. That was a real, good kiss. Oh my God.
1987: Steve: “Sex? Uh—I think it’s totally normal! I can, like, show you a few things? I mean, if you want…” Eddie, halfway to cardiac arrest: Am I hallucinating? Is this happening? Is this real life?
1987: Steve: “Yeah, Robin and I are moving. You’re coming with us, obviously.” Eddie: “…Obviously.” Robin in the background, sipping her coffee, watching Steve like he’s a very slow-burn romance novel character.
1988: Steve: “Hey, by the way—you should list me as your emergency contact. I mean, we live together, and Wayne’s kinda far. If something happens, I’m the guy they’d call anyway.”
Eddie, looking at the form in his hands: “…Okay. Sure. My emergency boyfriend. Got it.” Steve: “What? So... Cool!”
1995: Steve: “So, uh… Robin’s officially moved in with her girlfriend. It’s just you and me now.” (pause) “You wanna maybe buy the place? Together? Like, co-own it. Makes sense, right?” Eddie, deadpan: “You’re asking me to buy a house with you.” Steve: “Yeah. It’s practical.” Eddie: “Right. Extremely platonic mortgage.” Steve: “Exactly!” Eddie, muttering: “I’m gonna put that on a t-shirt.”
1997: Steve: “We’ve lived together for, what, ten years? I’ll help you adopt. Co-parenting’s way easier than going solo.” Eddie: “Co… parenting?” Steve: “Yeah.” Eddie, whispering into the void: Dear God, give me strength. I didn't even say that I wanted a child.
2004: Steve: “Of course I’ll marry you if you need to make it official for paperwork or whatever—wait.” (pause) “…May be you want do it with someone you love?”
Eddie, deadpan: “Sweetheart. We share a bed. We have a joint bank account. We have a child. You kissed me goodbye this morning and told me not to forget your lunch.”
Steve: “Yeah, but… I do that with Robin too.”
Eddie: “You don’t kiss Robin on the mouth, Stevie. Any kids with someone? Sex?”
Steve, indignant: "Of course not!" Steve, understanding: "Of course not…"
Steve, slowly blinking: “…Holy shit. I’ve been dating you for, like, seventeen years.”
Eddie, grinning: “Welcome to the relationship, babe. Glad you could join us.”
Steve: “Do we have an anniversary?” Eddie: “We have four. You’ve missed them all.” Steve: “Well now I feel like a terrible boyfriend.” Eddie: “You just agreed to be my husband, technically.” Steve: “Oh my God.” Eddie: “I’ll make you a timeline later.” Steve: “Please do.”
Jason: *in Dick‘s body*
Jason: I feel awful. What is wrong with your body???
Tim: *absolutely obliterating a punching bag in Jason‘s body*
Dick: *looks affronted at Jason in his body*
Dick: My body is fine! What do you mean??? You aren‘t the one who needs to consume an unholy amount of caffeine to function!
Jason: I feel like someone is about to push me off a fucking cliff, Dickhead.
Dick: *grins suddenly*
Dick: Ohhhh. Lemme fix that for you, Little Wing.
Dick: *walks up to Jason and hugs him tightly*
Jason: *relaxes before tensing up*
Jason: WAIT. YOU NEED HUGS TO FUNCTION?!?!
(Next fic is in the works! o7 It isn’t the one I had originally planned cuz my brain went brrr. Have a good one, my lovely birdwatchers! <3)
((Edit: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59545189/chapters/151862587 ))
i need more hero worship between tim and jason. tim thinking that jason’s entire deal is just so fucking cool. like he was robin, he died, came back to life, got dunked in the lazarus pit and learned to control the pit rage, got magic swords, and is now a scary ass legendary crime lord that runs crime alley and protects all of its people WHILE consistently pissing bruce off every night. tim thinks jason is AWESOME, and he cannot beLIEVE that he gets to hang out with him.
jason on the other hand has no idea tim thinks he’s cool. jason considers himself to be a violent nerd, the ‘dumber’ section of his and dick’s ‘dumb and dumber’ childhood duo. he’s an introverted asshole who actively beat this kid UP once, not to mention his only other experience with little brothers is fucking DAMIAN, who although the kid clearly loves and respects him in his own weird little way, would rather chew off his own hand than admit anything about jason was in any way cool. the idea that tim would look up to him? laughable. he has no idea why this kid keeps trying to follow him on patrol or come up with excuses to hang out together, and honestly the starry eyes he keeps getting from time to time kinda scare him. like what does that mean. why does he do that.
dick finds it fucking hysterical. he knows jason is tim’s personal hero and even better he knows full well that jason would literally never even consider tim respecting him as a possibility. he watches tim eagerly ask every batfamily meeting if ‘jason’s gonna come?’ and when jason arrives, jump around him during debriefs like a puppy trying to convince an old dog to come play, and jason is always just stood there with the most fucking confused look on his face-
eventually he cant take it and has to pull jason aside.
dick: he just looks up to you, man. give him a little attention!
jason: looks up to… me?
dick: yeah, you’re his hero
jason: two weeks ago i was drinking tea through a gap in the mouth section of the helmet and i watched you smack into a lamppost, and i laughed so hard that i snorted the tea out my nostrils and into the rest of the helmet and almost drowned myself.
dick:
jason: he was there for that dick. he saw it. and you think he considers me a hero?
dick: look i dont understand it either just let him tag along ok-
I like the idea of Viktor being one of those aces that make nsfw jokes/remarks when least expected.