It's So Hard To Be In Love With A Ship That Isn't Canon, Wasn't Meant To Be Canon And Will Never Be Canon,

Repeat after me: Villain x Hero 👏 or 👏 Enemies to lovers 👏 ships 👏 aren't 👏 toxic 👏 because 👏 they 👏 hurt 👏 each 👏 other 👏 when 👏 they 👏 were 👏 E-N-E-M-I-E-S 👏 not 👏 when 👏 they 👏 were 👏 L-O-V-E-R-S. 👏

WIP of Jayce and Viktor levitation

Shovel Talk: Dick

When Dick starts dating, Jason is still rocking the yellow cape. He can’t do much, cause Dick is still distant with Bruce and he’s thirteen, but he glares extra hard whenever he sees Dick’s partner.

Dick keeps dating, goes through a few different partners, and him and Jason get closer. Dick thinks his little brother is cool with whoever he brings round. Dick is wrong. Jason waits until it hits the five month mark then all of a sudden the partner in question is subject to covert threats and subtle enough intimidation so specific that they sound mad trying to tell anyone about it. Especially considering this is coming from fifteen year old, ‘Robin is Magic’, heart of gold Jason Todd.

Dick is still dating after Jason dies, but there’s a weird lack of somehow scary younger brothers.

Until Tim shows up.

Once Tim and Dick are close, that’s it. Dick’s partners will walk in to find photos of them going about their day on their desk, with a final one of them and Dick that’s got ‘Look after him’ written on the back. Kori thinks this is sweet and immediately goes to Tim for all missing persons cases she hits a wall with. None of Dick’s other partners from that time would agree.

After Jason returns, Dick starts dating Wally. Tim tracks Jason down in Crime Alley to deliver the news. Wally walks into his room at the JL one day to discover pages covering the walls. It’s a document with a list of co-ordinates, which turn out to be every place he’s slept or eaten at in the past month. Every place he’s been in a theoretically vulnerable position. A separate list has his regular orders. Wally freaks out, and goes immediately to Gotham to talk to Dick about a possible threat. Coincidentally, Jason happens to be at the mansion for one of his rare visits, and although Dick is out he’s happy to hear about Wally’s quickly mounting anxiety. After being shown all the evidence, giving a sympathetic ear, Jason looks up at Wally.

“It sounds like someone could get to you really easily.” Jason gives a pitying grimace, and then smiles sweetly. “Better not give them a reason to, right?”

Wally’s heart is at risk of being lost in the speed force it’s beating so fast. Jason gets up, and takes his tea and his book.

“Dick will be back in a few hours. Heard you’ve got a date planned later. Hope that goes well.” Jason leaves an absolutely terrified Wally at the kitchen table.

The biggest confidence boost is knowing that even my shittiest fanfic will be 10,000% better than any AI generated bullshit

MERTHUR + tumblr text post

bruce and some little birds

part 2

Tim who is scarily good at the Hitman games.

Everyone is good with it mostly, excluding Cass who won’t play it, with everyone having completed the first few missions at least during a training exercise made by Jason who was hiding an injury and came up with the idea on the spot.

This is how they find out that not only does Tim already have all the games, he’s finished them all, got all the achievements and has over 2,000+ hours.

Turns out it’s what he plays when he feels his mind is running too rampant and needs reigning in. He knows all the secrets and has a spreadsheet made up of all the ways you can complete a mission per chapter. He has a strategy for each type of assassination from getting someone else to do it, killing everyone, making it look like an accident, ect. He’s even managed to kill every soldier in some chapters without getting caught and somehow managed to save Diana from being shot by 47?

It’s kind of scary watching him seamlessly navigate around any new map that comes out and complete all missions under a self imposed time limit.

(His record is 1 minute and 27 seconds)

Bruce is naturally worried and it isn’t helped when the response to these concerns is, “would you rather I do it in real life?”

Tim can do it in real life, came closest with Captain Boomerang, and he has at least thirty ideas of how to kill everyone in his life subconsciously. He doesn’t want to, nor will he ever act on it, but it’s sort of… fun.

It’s like puzzle solving but with higher stakes and Hitman is a good way to test his theories without actually killing anyone.

If playing Hitman made him test how sneakily he could drug people by putting sugar in peoples drinks at Galas when he was nine, that’s just childish curiosity. Plus, it made him put out a campaign when he was older to prevent drugging because he himself knows how easy it is, so win win.

At least he didn’t shave his head like he thought about, though that was only because a certain acrobat did it and made Tim realise how unstylish it was if it wasn’t natural.

At the end of the day playing Hitman made him a better Robin and helped him sneak around the League of Assassin’s base that was filled with people even 47 would struggle against.

And he won the training exercise.

Steve, raised since childhood on a strict diet of tax forms, utility bills, and neatly labeled folders, handles Love with capital L the only way he knows how—logistically.

So the moment he realizes things with Eddie are serious-serious, he doesn’t make a big speech or even breathe a word.

He just quietly opens a joint savings account.

Then a trust fund.

Lists himself as Eddie’s emergency contact.

Buys a gold ring (simple, tasteful, suspiciously the right size). He knows Eddie likes silver, but that's not what it's for. Gold is in any case an investment in the future, if something happens.

And—because, well, they’ve survived four apocalypses—he updates his will.

Steve wrote it after Apocalypse #2.

The BMW had been bought with his money and, should anything happen, was legally designated to go to Dustin.

Everything else—his personal savings, the shared funds, and whatever compensation the government might cough up for the next end-of-the-world scenario—was to go to Eddie.

Nobody knows this but Steve. It’s filed in a folder marked “just in case”.

Eddie, on the other hand, doesn’t do paperwork.

When he realizes things are serious, he gives Steve his favorite band t-short. Then changes the tires on Steve’s BMW from summer to winter without being asked. Fixes the bookshelf Steve’s been threatening to burn for a month. And starts making him sandwiches in the morning — the kind his mom used to make for him, with just the right amount of mustard and that one slice of tomato Steve always forgets he likes. Uses his entire vocabulary of cute nicknames on Steve and comes up with a couple of new ones.

Miraculously, it works.

Because Eddie gets this strange, unfamiliar feeling of being safe. And Steve? Steve finally feels understood. And cared for, in a way he didn’t know he needed.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Batman isn’t the only one fiercely protective of his Robins.

Jason’s death led to the Rogues turning against the Joker—especially Harley. By then, she had already realized the extent of his abuse and had left him. So when she learned that her favorite Robin—a tough Crime Alley kid—had been beaten to death by her ex the first time she wasn’t around, she went ballistic.

Once, a newcomer held Nightwing at gunpoint and tried to unmask him on live television. When Harvey Dent saw how close this was to his own hideout, he knew he couldn’t let it slide. He wasn’t blind or foolish—he knew exactly who Nightwing was. The first Robin. A ray of sunshine—badass yet kind. Harvey took only a second to recall how that same little Robin had once helped him through a dissociative episode, choosing to assist rather than arrest him. And that was enough. The newcomer was never seen again.

As much as Damian disliked how close Catwoman was to his father, Selina adored the little kitten. He was honest, fierce, and compassionate in his own way. She loved that he shared her fondness for cats and animals. So when the shelter Damian volunteered at was attacked by Black Mask’s goons, Selina made sure that by the end of the month, Roman wouldn’t have a single piece of art left in his collection.

Eddie could hardly deny that his favorite Robin was the third one. After all, that particular little bird not only respected him as the Riddler but could also solve all his riddles effortlessly. So when a few goons rudely barged into their monthly riddle session, Eddie was not amused. He made sure they knew it.

Consider this your warning: Do not harm the Robins. Unless, of course, you fancy some trouble with the Rogues.

Mainly because I’m Batman.

that’s a lie i would rather die than lose my kids