Magic Item

Mechanic/Feat Idea

Silliest worshipper

Description: You have the ability to use Divine Intervention and all the other “Ask to your God” spells any times you want with an instant recharge only if you use it for something silly (DM’s decision) and if your God is Chaotic-Neutral/Good aligned.

Functionality: You use the spell to ask something silly to your God (another of the same meal you just had, to win a low/no reward slug race, have a nice silly hat, find a good pun on the spot, etc etc) and the God does it, then you feel a pat on your head and hear an astral voice say “Yes, sure darling, no need to use your precious spells for this” you feel warm and then everything turns back to normal, with your wish granted.

This can also work for warlocks only if your patron is Chaotic-Neutral/Good aligned.

In general, this can take effects if your deity is a momma type, even if it’s Lawful/Good but if it is Lawful/Good sometimes it will say things like “But next time use it for good alright sweetie?” making you feel slightly guilty, the more you use it for sillies without using it for something good.

Inspiration: the BG3 playthrough of @dare-to-dm (silly paladins are my favourite, use this so you can have fun in D&D sweetie ❤️)

Spell Idea

Everybody gets a knife

Descritpion: The caster points at up to 23 willing creatures in a 60ft radius. A spectral knife appears levitating in front of them, pointing to the closest enemy. The creature is defined as a companion of the spectral knife from now on.

Functionality: The spectral knife launches itself to the first enemy its companion attacks, dealing 1d4 piercing damage and 2d4 radiant damage, then it disappears.

Inspiration: @general-luce’s meme

Be prepared for tomorrow ya'll.

Mount Idea

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Mining War Elephants

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Description: Elephants with tusks that are made of various metals, from iron to mithril and even adamantium, that they can make them spin at high speed to use them as underground drills to mine or to attack their enemies. The material of their tusks resembles their strength and power, every 3 months they fall and new ones reform in two days, in this time the material can change into something weaker or stronger if the strength of the Mining War Elephant has changed, it only depends on how strong the mount has become.

The tusks can also be manually replaced with ones that are made of stronger materials. Creating from 0 new Tusks will take 1d6 days (max 4 if the forger is a Dwarf, max 3 if they’re a blacksmith or an artisan, max 2 if both) to create two tusks, then you need to wait for the Elephant’s tusk to fall naturally, to put the forged tusks into their place, roll both an Animal Handling and a Medicine check, if the result is higher than 14 you succeed, on a lower roll the Elephant will refuse new tusks for 24h because your player hurtled them on accident. (You have two attempts, after that normal tusks will grow and you’ll need to wait 3 months). Only Dwarves can persuade the Mining War Elephants into retrying on the same day after a fail.

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Inspiration: the meme of @dwarf-posting about the epic fact shared by @zinjanthropusboisei (thanks to both!)

View on Twitter

These pictures are killing me

Monster Idea

Meat worm

Description: A 55 ft long white worm-like creature, able to swallow a 6 ft person in just a few seconds. Along his body there are whiskers-like organs that are able to capture vibrations faster, and that the creature can control to use them as shovels to cover itself in snow or to cover its victim in case there are other people around.

Before the Meat worm attacks, everyone must roll a perception check, those who failed will be surprised (see Ambusher ⬇️)

Abilities:

Ambusher: In the first round of combat, the meat worm has advantage on attack rolls against any creature it has surprised.

Snow body: if it’s snowing or the meat worm is in a snowy terrain, it gains +5 AC, +10ft speed, +5 on Wisdom rolls, it gives disadvantage on all Perception rolls made my other creatures around it.

Actions:

Swallow: spends two rounds swallowing an enemy, at the start of the second turn it finishes swallowing its prey. While swallowing a creature, it can only defend itself using its tail/body and can’t make any opportunity attacks.

Bite: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft, one target, Hit: 15 (2d12+3) piercing damage

Acid spit: +3 to hit, reach 25 ft, AoE, 10 ft radius, Hit: 9 (1d6+6) acidic damage

Tail Whip: +2 to hit, reach 10 ft (from its tail), one target, Hit 7 (1d8+3) bludgeoning damage

After being swallowed the player must do a Strength Saving Throw to exit the worm (either ripping his body or exiting trough the mouth) and take 1d6 acid damage, after 3 turns the damage becomes 2d6, after 6 the damage becomes 4d6, after 9 the damage becomes 3d12, after 12 the damage becomes 6d12, after 15 the damage becomes 12d12, after 18 the damage becomes 24d6. If the character is still alive, the worm vomits them and from now on when attacking using its Bite attack, if the player attacked is the regurgitated one, it will attack twice. If the player is unarmored, they take +Xd4 acidic damage each time. X is the same number of dices that the turn says to roll (first 1, third 2, tenth 3,…)

Inspiration: @weepingwidar’s fabulous art and @sawtheyellowsign

Peter Ferguson (Canadian, 1968) - Pastoral (n.d.)

Item Idea

Legendary Sponge

Description: a yellow square sponge, it looks like any other normal sponge except that it won’t suffer from any environmental effects, not even the loss of water or the rising of temperatures.

Functionality: Grants the holder with resistance to cold, lightning, thunder and fire damage. Does not stack with other spells or items.

Inspiration: Now there is @markrosewater

I would have GREATLY preferred the Spongebob creatures be original designs. As funny as Squidward being a "Horror" is it is absolutely disappointing to see Spongebob be a Human and not a Sponge

There are no legendary Sponges.

Magic Item

Sandwich of Chaotic Layers

Description: A sandwich made of suspicious ingredients and a curious amount of cheese, when eaten it gives random effects to character. If it is kept in the inventory long enough it might attract mice and other rodents, if it is kept for even longer at every rest of the character with the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers in their inventory loses 2d12 of HP while those near a radius of 10 ft lose 2d6 of HP after the rest, due to the radiations that the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers emits.

Functionality: Use a bonus action to eat the sandwich, a normal action if you’re size is smaller than Medium, then roll d for the effects.

Results:

You get teleported inside a radius of 5-20 ft not occupied by another creature, you can decide exactly where

The scent of warm bread surrounds the player and up to 5 allies, they heal 2d10 HP and gain 20 Temporary hit points

You get two charges of a garlic scented breath attack that causes confusion and disadvantage to all roles against you and saving throws to all your enemies in a 15 ft cone, but also repel your allies to at least 5 ft from you

A bread wall circles around your enemy and it blocks their vision and movement. To escape your enemy has to deal at least 10 x S of damage, where S is the size of the enemy (1 is Tiny, Medium is 3, Gargantuan 6…), to make a hole big enough to escape

From the mouth of the player comes out a steam of water that deals 4d6 of water damage to those in a line of 20ft in front of the player, with a roll of Athletics higher than 12 the player can move while spitting water to aim to other enemies, this however will deal 2d6 to all enemies hurt instead of 4d6.

A cheese armour surrounds the player, giving them +2 AC but also giving them a -10ft of movement speed

The player’s movement speed doubles but it may randomly oink even after the effect wears off, until they take a rest

Wheel of cheese. For 17 turns. Aka 289 seconds. Aka 4 minutes and 49 seconds. Aka Wheel of cheese for five minutes.

3d4 mice gets teleported in a 5 ft radius from you, you can control them and give them order for 6 turns, after that they’ll become normal mice

A cloud of lint surrounds an enemy, they’ll suffer 2d6 more fire damage if attacked with a fire spell or fire related attacks, the same goes with 1d12 of lightning damage. Until the enemy is surrounded by the lint cloud it gets disadvantage on rolls to hit. The cloud disappear once a fire or lightning attack successfully damage the enemy

A rideable Large cushion of magical focaccia appears in front of the players. The cushion can fly and has 350 HP but no attacks. After receiving 300 HP, reaching a total of 100 ft of movement or after 7 turns the flying focaccia gently lands and then disappear.

3d8 of radiant damage to all creatures in a radius of 35ft from the player (including) the party gets a -10 to the total damage if they have spent at least 2 rests with the Sandwich of Chaos Layers in the inventory of someone.

Inspiration: this silly reblog list ⬇️

Tumblr

I dip cheezits in nutella

Makig a sandwich to bring to school tomorrow can someone reblog with a filling to finish the ssndwich ill go first ok Bread

Thanks to @garaks-padded-bra @acrowbyanyothername @buglyteeth @imhaley @ronzyponyo @funnywormz @deepestturtlepielover @willowandthesagaofgayyearning @summer-azure @spacetronomyfan @spocktopodes ❤️

Campaign Idea

Lord of the Ribs

Plot: An Elven King calls the players to ask for their help. Their mission is to destroy the One Spice, a powerful magic object that made all the spices feel bland except for those that the owner of the One Spice, Sauronion, sold. This new group will start a journey trough Mordough fighting with Sauronion’s minions like the Nugzuls (or Wingwraiths) and Soyruman The Bland. When the Fellowship of the Rib finally finds itself in front of the Onion Ring, a powerful spell that Sauronion uses to look down on the Middle Eat, they’ll have to fight the army of Sauronion and then take the One Spice to Mount Nom and destroy it, to make the world spicy again.

Inspiration: I think it’s pretty obvious, but in case it wasn’t, I came up with this completely alone and without being inspired by any product of other people. Those who don’t believe me are French (fries)

Magic Spell (silly)

Cookiefication

Description: The user transform a cat into a cookie

Functionality: Those who dare eat the cookified cat roll a Constitution saving throw, if the result is <20 the sinner loses 1d12 of Max HP forever and scratches appears on their body, every rest they take the scratches change place. If the monster rolls a 20 or higher they regain a conscience and realise how cruel it would be eating a cookie resembling a cute kitten and put it down.

Inspiration: The meme above (thanks to @honeycakelion and @madscience for the reblog)

you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made

Hazard Idea

Pond of Dancing

Description: A pond of approximately 9x9 meters, the water is slightly darker than it should be. The players can roll for perception (DC 17 if there aren’t any other bodies of water nearby, if there are then -1 for each), creatures that live in the Deep or underground get advantage. The pond can be either empty or have 1d6 number of goblin skeletons inside, dancing.

Functionality: Once a creature enters the pond or walks 3m in it roll a DC 17 Con save, if it fails, the creature starts dancing alongside the creatures already in it, creating a ritualistic choreography. Small and Tiny creatures get disadvantage to the Con save.

All dancing creatures (whether they are still in the pond or got out) are now labelled as “Dancers”. Dancers get 1d8 necrotic damage once they become Dancers and every 2 minutes that they’re still in the Pond. If a Dancer dies, they won’t stop dancing, their skin will erode and become an undead dancing skeleton, still labelled as a Dancer.

Once there are 10 Dancers in the pond, the water will start moving and shaping form of a Water Elemental. The Water Elemental’s stats are the same as a normal Water Elemental except:

CAR: 8(-1) —> 18(+4)

INT: 5(-3)—>12(+1)

+HP: Xd8 (X: n° of Dancers)

Damage Immunity: +Necrotic

Language: +The main one of each Dancer

Charm Person: 3/day

+Chill Touch, +Sapping Sting, +Toll the Dead: 5/day (each)

Dancing General: The Water Elemental can speak a 1-word command to any or all of the Dancers: Attack (attacks the closer enemy of the Water Elemental), Protect (moves in front of the Water Elemental to shield it of any attack), Grapple (lunges itself to grapple the closest opponent or the one the Water Elemental is pointing at), etc etc. This can be used as a reaction 4/day.

Dancers will be in a catatonic state unless ordered to do something by the Water Elemental (like at the first round of combat if they roll a higher initiative than the Water Elemental, or after they killed a creature after the Water Elemental ordered them to attack it). A Dancer with WIS 17 or higher will have disadvantage at all ‘to hit’ rolls, a Dancer attacking a former allied gets their speed halved. (Make your Dancer players role as they attack unwillingly the other players! They’re still semi-conscious).

A Dancer loses its Dancer label once the Water Elemental is defeated, after walking at least 45m away from the pond/Water Elemental or if the Water Elemental says to it “Free” thanks to the Dancing General feat.

Inspiration: the silly post I’ve reblogged of @diamondguls

P.S. Thanks to all the people who liked my posts while I was on a break, I have 40 something drafts just for you muhahahaha 😘😈

yippieeee~ ahahaha~ yaaaaaaaaay~!⋆｡°✩

I feel the urge to create a D&D campaign with a lesbian vampire who realised it at 144 years because she spent all the days in her house and at night she would just go around sucking blood without looking much the people because at night there are not that many people outside and she never was that picky, until something happened and saw two girl (girls!!!) kissing (K I S S I N G!!!)

Watching Sakura Trick on YouTube as a 144-year-old blew my mind so much. What do you mean girls can KISS each other! More than once even