I’m Both These People And I Hate It

Pet Idea

The Sniler

Description: a Tiny common-looking mouse, except for its pitch black tail and its especially long whiskers.

Functionality: The Sniler can teleport inside small spaces, like pockets, small bags, empty sheaths, loose socks, etc., that are of property of its owner. The Sniler mostly sleeps and eat, but when it’s awake it can do two things by emitting a squeak:

Outside of an encounter: The Sniler squeaks and the owner has advantage on all Nature and Animal Handling checks.

In an encounter: The Sniler squeaks and a d4 is rolled.

The owner of The Sniler gets teleported in a 15ft radius from their starting point of their choosing.

The Sniler grows in size and becomes a Medium Sized. It uses the Giant Rat sheet with the added Action of Teleport (see Blink Dog). Reaching 0 hp makes The Sniler return to its normal form and teleport to an empty pocket of its owner.

The Sniler squeak sounds like a monstrous roar, making any enemy creature in a 30 ft radius frightened of its owner. This effect lasts 1d6 round(s).

The owner of The Sniler turns one size smaller, along with its equipment, and their speed raises by 15ft.

To trigger a squeak the owner needs to feed The Sniler with an 5cm cube of cheese that was previously soaked in beer. The Sniler will engulf the cheese in one bite and proceed to squeak, it’s completely possible that the squeak is actually just a burp.

The Sniler will take only 3 cubes of its delicious cheese before sleeping or refusing any more, accepting it back only after a long rest (of the Sniler).

If the Sniler isn’t offered a cube of special cheese in 3 days it will squeak only outside of battle, hiding from its owner in battle, if it’s not fed a cube of special cheese in 6 days it will disappear with any cheese and beer the party has in a 10ft radius from the owner after a long rest.

Even if the cheese and beer are inside a Bag of Holding.

Feed the Sniler.

Inspiration: The Sniler @todaysbird

The Sniler

Magic Spell (silly)

Cookiefication

Description: The user transform a cat into a cookie

Functionality: Those who dare eat the cookified cat roll a Constitution saving throw, if the result is <20 the sinner loses 1d12 of Max HP forever and scratches appears on their body, every rest they take the scratches change place. If the monster rolls a 20 or higher they regain a conscience and realise how cruel it would be eating a cookie resembling a cute kitten and put it down.

Inspiration: The meme above (thanks to @honeycakelion and @madscience for the reblog)

you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made

I’ll counter attack,

Invisibility but it breaks if people don’t know where you are

Invisibility but it breaks if you do anything except attacking

Magic Item

Cursed Letter

Description: A letter written in a magic language that translates immediately to the language that the creature reading knows the best. The writing is full of grammatical errors and random letters are in the middle of words, the capitals are randomised and the content of the text is unreadable.

Functionality: If a creature knowing how to read at least one language tries to read the letter it has to roll an Intelligence save,

If it fails they’ll have to roll another one, if they fail that too they’ll think that the letter is written in a special code, if they succeed they’ll be confused for 5 minutes

If they succeed they understand that the text as no meaning, but will still be confused at why this letter exist in the first place, becoming confused for 5 minutes.

Note: the 5min confusion can be stopped by a 15+ roll on Wisdom (1 roll only), the effects of the 5min confusion are the same after the spell Confusion

Inspiration: A scam message that was written in some kind of ancient English by someone with arthritis while having a stroke, that a bot sent to me this morning.

Oneshot / Campaign idea:

Hydration

Plot: The players meet an Hydra in the middle of the desert, wounded and burned, she begs for help to return to a place with enough water for her to live peacefully. Your player can see that: some of her scales are missing and the skin is burning red due to the sun, the Hydra can’t move on it’s own because her legs were cut, then a metal disc was placed on the burnt meat and finally sealed with long nails into the legs of the Hydra, the number of her head is significantly higher than what expected because to survive the heads had to eat each other.

The Hydra tried to move with her heads but it’s simply too difficult and dangerous since the sand burns too.

Give to one of the player a magic compass to know where to find a large body of water or make that they just know that.

The Hydra can speak Common, because she learnt it when she was little.

The Hydra is now Neutral Good, because she was sent into the desert by a sorcerer who put her there for torture for what she did to his village, now she’s sorry and aims to become a better Hydra.

You can choose the name of the Hydra, make the players decide because she never had one or call her Varixia or Molly

If they help her the Hydra will give them:

Her blood (= health potions), All the scales that fall due to the sun (=armor material), the teeth of the heads that the others will eat (=arrow head or jewellery), the heads of the eaten parts (If kept like normally it can sell high because it’s a valuable trophy, but it can even be modified a bit with the help of the Hydra to make it a powerful shield that one time per round can use a bonus action of the holder to bite an enemy in a 5ft radius).

And the players will be able to eat with the Hydra (yes, eat the Hydra’s heads, but she’s cool with it)

Inspiration:

Hydras are described as reptiles, roam around places with water like swamps and have a swim speed of 30ft.

Magic Item or Spell

Temporary Sacrifice

Effect: The user use all their magic and put it into an object, losing the ability to use magic in any way, receiving tho a +2 into their stats, +5 to hit, +1d12 to any attack they deal. If they die they loose these bonuses but after 24h from their death they return in a 5ft radius from the object that then retrieves all the magic stored and breaks. If after 24h they aren’t dead yet, they roll a d20, on a Nat20 they get 24h more hours, if they roll anything else they die on the spot and everything returns at normal.

The equipment that the player wore at death is teleported with them, their weapon/s too even if it slipped from their hands at death.

After being teleported the player rolls a [(LevelOfTheCharacter) +3]d4, they lose that amount of Max HP until they have a long rest

Notes: If it’s a spell then the object will be decided by the character, if it’s a magic item then that’s the object where the user magic will be stored.

When the dead return into a 5ft radius from the object, the object breaks only if it was a Magic Item. In case it was a spell, the cool-down is 1 year.

Inspiration: The Viking of Stamford Bridge

Spell Idea

Everybody gets a knife

Descritpion: The caster points at up to 23 willing creatures in a 60ft radius. A spectral knife appears levitating in front of them, pointing to the closest enemy. The creature is defined as a companion of the spectral knife from now on.

Functionality: The spectral knife launches itself to the first enemy its companion attacks, dealing 1d4 piercing damage and 2d4 radiant damage, then it disappears.

Inspiration: @general-luce’s meme

Be prepared for tomorrow ya'll.

Item Idea

Legendary Sponge

Description: a yellow square sponge, it looks like any other normal sponge except that it won’t suffer from any environmental effects, not even the loss of water or the rising of temperatures.

Functionality: Grants the holder with resistance to cold, lightning, thunder and fire damage. Does not stack with other spells or items.

Inspiration: Now there is @markrosewater

I would have GREATLY preferred the Spongebob creatures be original designs. As funny as Squidward being a "Horror" is it is absolutely disappointing to see Spongebob be a Human and not a Sponge

There are no legendary Sponges.

Spell Idea

RePain

Functionality: Reproduce the last damage that the creature has suffered, it doesn’t function if the last hit failed, didn’t deal damage or was another RePain.

If the last attack required a save throw the creature targeted automatically fails (because it rolls the same number of the last time)

If the last attack was boosted by rage, or other mechanics player-based, the boost still applies. If the boost was due to some magic items that the RePain caster doesn’t have or isn’t affected by, the boost doesn’t applies, but the owner of the item can use a bonus action to throw the item (with advantage) to the RePain caster (the throw can happen on the attacker turn, taking their bonus action, or on the caster’s turn, taking their bonus action even if it’s the attacker who throws the item)

The spell fails if the last attack was 1 hour before the casting of RePain or if the player casting it wasn’t in a 50ft radius of the damage being dealed.

If the amount of damage dealt in the attack was reduced by any item/spell/etc that the enemy used the RePain spell will deal the normal amount of damage.

The RePain spell can’t be redirectionated towards the caster nor the original attacker.

The RePain spell doesn’t heal the player casting it if the original attack counted a heal on the attacker, but it does heal the original attacker by the same amount.

The RePain can be used as a cantrip or as a level 1 spell, when used as a cantrip it cant reproduce the same attack (ex: sword attack by player A, dagger by player B, fireball by player C, Eldritch Blast by player C, etc etc) twice (the OG attacker can be the same tho). When used as a level 1 spell it can, so an Eldritch Blast spammer can be “helped” by a RePain lvl1 spammer.

The RePain spell doesn’t replicate non-damaging spells (Minor Illusion, Charm Person).

If the bonus effect (blind, charmed, paralysed) of the last damage-dealing attack is already gone, the RePain spell reactivates it (if charmed or similar, the target is charmed by the RePain caster)

The RePain takes effect even if the original attacker is dead/unconscious/etc, possibly healing them if the original attack healed them even by just 1 HP.

Inspiration: my mind just birthed it while I was smoking. My brain is a cool dude

Side Plot Idea

(A mini plot, since your players will not follow the main one, that you can use to guide your players to follow the main one)

Poly-wrath

Description: The party antagonised/had a fight with/stole from an NPC, unfortunately for them, that NPC is not a god or the BBEG (those are common things for Adventurers), no that NPC is actually in a polyamorous relationship with A LOT of people, who all treat the NPC like a teddy bear, and when they hear how the players treated their favourite teddy bear, they will be sure to make them regret it.

Functionality: Maybe not all the partners are adventurers/warriors, so the majority of them will not directly attack the players (or maybe the NPC asked them not to and they reluctantly promised). Put them as the tavern’s owner, so the players will either prohibited to enter or would find their stay very uncomfortable (keep it fun tho, it needs to hurt the character not the player); or maybe one of them is a wagon driver and takes the players for a low price ( “A discount for the pretty lady” or “Because you’re a lot I’ll give you a discount” but in this last case be sure to give the players a chance to someone who doesn’t want to give them the discount and to someone who wants, aka the NPC’s partner) but instead of taking them where they wanted they “lost the way” or maybe leaves the party there after having sent camp for the night (maybe also giving the players only a short rest if you make that the Wagon driver offers to do the first round of guarding to “take care of the horses in the meantime”)

Inspiration: this meme of @retrogamingblog2 that my bf sent me ⬇️

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Retro Nintendo

Pokemon, Zelda, Mario, Kirby, and Metroid