Guys I Might Write This Do You Want Me To Cause I Will

i rewatched sherlock gnomes with my pal last night, and i noticed a background bit where Moriarty straight up pounces on sherlock, and i thought that was the funniest shit ever for some reason.

oh my god. this gets even better if you put in the idea that sherlock and watson know about this, because that means that they'd have to distinguish which moriarty is the bad one.

like, for example, if our moriarty impersonated a different one of himself. like, would sherlock and watson be able to tell? i mean, he has a pretty distinct personality, but in the scene where watson is explaining moriarty to juliet, he seems to be good at acting as innocent. i'd like to imagine he frequently tries to impersonate other versions of himself and just like, fails horribly.

imagine sherlock being like "yeah ok sworn destroyer of london's garden gnomes. we know it's you" and moriarty being so pissed every time

How often do you think Moriarty gets sent off for repairs? Like- plastic is definitely WAY more durable than like. Ceramic. But it's definitely still breakable. I mean, he lost a piece of his head in the film. How long has he been fighting Sherlock? Has he received any minor damage before?

I still very much think this was his closest brush with death, but I definitely wouldn't be surprised if he'd damaged an arm or a leg in their scuffles before. Especially since broken ceramic can very easily pierce plastic.

So do the folks at Moriarty's Pies just sit there like- "Oh for crying out loud what happened to the statue this time???" cause they all got to work in the morning and just found Moriarty randomly missing an arm?? Without context??? And then the SECOND he gets back from repairs, since plastic is easy to mend, do they have to send him off to get fixed again in the next 24 hours because he's a little menace who can't sit still to save his life? Because that's hilarious.

Better question, imagine if there was more than one van. Wouldn't that mean more Moriarty's? Would they all have the same personality or no? I wouldn't think so. Watson does state that OUR Moriarty was made... wrong. Sometimes making ornaments goes wrong, and we get evil ornaments as a result. Plus, Moriarty's actual personality itself outside of the murder does seem very different from the character he represents. Moriarty the character appears to be very innocent and sweet, while Moriarty the statue is... well, the complete opposite.

So would each one have a different personality? If ornaments weren't tethered to the personality of whoever they represent? Would there just be like 50 Moriarty's and all of them are chill except this ONE?

"Oh yeah that's number 43. He's a bit of a douche, we kinda just leave him out of things. It gets awkward when he's around, he never stops talking about murder :/"

Would that also mean they have different disorders? Or would all of them be extremely obviously ADHD and/or bipolar in varying levels?

Even better question. Would that mean they'd also have different sexualities- would there be like- one token straight Moriarty who everyone refers to as Mike to avoid confusion-- I'm getting carried away. I don't actually think there would be more than one considering we see the van in the background several times, but he's never on top because. Y'know. The pretending to be dead thing. If that wasn't the only van in the city, there's bound to be a different statue in at least one background shot.

Still absolutely hilarious to think about though.

moriarty

i love him so much look at this DIVA

he deserved a happy ending. fight me i dare you (or just rant about him, please)

look at these divas (i spent two hours making a cardboard cutout of him)

hellooooooooooo divas. i have a rant about lou because nobody is talking about him. :(

so, he's very dramatic and his main goal is keeping up appearances for the crowd. that's his whole thing. he says multiple times that being pretty is everything, meaning to him, his appearance, both physically and publicly, is the most important.

but by the end of the movie, he's been stripped of both.

you can see the difference here between when he's putting up an act (left) and when he's actually showing strong emotion (right). for a movie that's admittedly not the best quality, he's a very well written villian.

you can tell that his friendship with ox wasn't fake, despite his betrayal.

he used to be kind and caring, though still with flaws. the only reason he turned on ox is because he knew that even though they were close, ox would get to leave and lou wouldn't. i think it was a mix of feelings.

jealousy, because lou couldn't go to the big world and ox could. betrayal, because ox would be leaving him. loneliness, which is pretty obvious.

i mean, being lonely is a classic villian backstory. but his is good because it's not just like: "well he wasn't good at making friends :(" it's literally "he couldn't keep friends".

i think a huge reason that lou values his public appearance is because it's all he's got left. it's the only time that people valued him. eventually popularity got to his head, so he's vain.

i've seen some people argue that the reason he makes his lessons so hard is because he'll miss the dolls. but honestly, i think he's just jealous that they get to go to the big world. which though cruel, is kind of justified.

i mean, look at this shot. it's probably my favorite in the whole movie. he's living his worst fear in this moment. he's lost his popularity, he's lost the game. and the uglydolls passed. everything he's been shown to care about has been taken, and this shot encapsulates it PERFECTLY.

(and it makes me very sad. i could watch the titanic with a straight face but unfortunately i'd watch this and then bawl for like thirty minutes. i don't wanna talk about it.)

anyway, i'll stop ranting. gooodnighht everyone.

we know this diva

Can you draw Sherlock Gnomes x Moriarty? :3

don't worry sherlock, he'll probably try to kill you again in a moment.

cries in moot

Anyone in the Sherlock gnomes fandom please reblog this, I wanna see how dead this fandom is