Thinking About How When You Experience A Lot Of Shame In Your Formative Years (indirectly, Directly,

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

Tags

More Posts from Runinindex and Others

1 month ago
Fun Breakdown Fact: He Has Panels That Open To Fit His Shoulders When They Move
Fun Breakdown Fact: He Has Panels That Open To Fit His Shoulders When They Move

Fun Breakdown Fact: he has panels that open to fit his shoulders when they move


Tags
3 months ago
Watched Vol 3 And I’m Going To Need Some Therapy.

Watched Vol 3 and I’m going to need some therapy.

1 month ago
Eroding Chatterbox Photocard

Eroding Chatterbox Photocard </3


Tags
2 months ago

Valkyrie Cain is such a wonderful character. Wretched beast of a woman. Has dirty laundry lying under her bed. Her subconscious turned into its own person and is evil. Her reflection is also evil. She's claustrophobic. She's bisexual. She's a horse girl. Her best friend is a 400 year old corpse. She's buff as hell. She's terrible at flirting. She was a weird lonely preteen. She's the most powerful sorceress in the world. She routinely slept on some random couch until she was like fifteen and the irresponsible adult / corpse dragging her along to magical adventures got her her own bed in his house. She's a girlfailure/girlboss super combo and I love her.

3 months ago
- Equaliser Set. Sound Check. -

- equaliser set. sound check. -

1 month ago
the title of a post in the disco elysium subreddit, reading: "I just laughed at a gay man in public"
a negative steam review, reading: "Not sure how people enjoy this. I've never felt so pathetic and uncomfortable playing any character in a game before."
a gif of harry du bois (tall guy, green jacket and yellow pants, shoulder length brown hair) from disco elysium. he waves his gun in the air before pointing it into his own mouth, while crouching into some sort of defensive stance. in front of him is a man with his arms crossed and there are multiple other people watching
a tweet by user @frienem, captioned "Burger time for baby". below are attached three images of a Harry Du Bois cosplay, featuring a white guy wearing glued-on mutton chops, a white collared shirt, a green jacket and a colorful necktie. he is eating a burger while looking absolutely dejected/devastated.
a simple 4 pannel cartoon comic. in the first panel, a figure tells another figure "Hey friend, check out this cool game". in the second and third, the first figure hands over a copy of disco elysium, to which the second figure responds "This is a book". shown is also a screenshot stating: "There are more than 1 million words, according to ZA/UM, which is more than all of J.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings". the comic ends with the first figure giving a thumbs up
text from a steam review reading: "This really is rooted in despair. I have tried multiple times to be a detective but it is rooted in negativity. I keep trying from a new game with different player modes but it's all still psychotic."
a tweet by Mia Mulder, username @Potatopolitics. the original tweet reads: "Harry, of course it's normal to get softer skin and breast tissue growth as a 46 year old man. I wouldn't have Titus inject you with subdermal estrogen and t-blockers, what could I possibly have to gain from force feminizing a respected officer of the RCM? I'm a busy man Harry!" below is attached an image of Evrart Claire, since the tweet is meant to be an impression of him. it's a slightly caricaturish drawing of a pale fat guy with foggy-looking glasses, a veering eye and a big grin. Mia has retweeted this, saying: "I'm going back to my job as a local left party politician tomorrow and I'm realizing I'm just this guy."
a skill check from disco elysium for "composure", with a chance of 42%. below are written the modifiers:
-1 Took the novelty cheque.
+1 Didn't say thanks for it.
-2 The chair is killing you.
+1 But your ass is iron.
text reading: "Can you actually get sweet baby pissfaggot to wear his jacket? I was ... Kim"
a page from the disco elysium wiki, for the achievement "Cause a Shitstorm."
overview:
Description: You brought this onto yourself
Unlocked by: Throwing dirt at seagulls on the west shore.
how to obtain:
1. On Day 3+, leave Kim behind you (you must be alone), then go to the tip of the west shore. Approach the lone tree and interact with the yellow thought orb (requires 9+ Hand/Eye Coordination.)
2. Throw dirt at the seagulls three times. This will trigger a special cutscene, where the birds take their revenge on Harry, shit on him, and the achievement pops.
text from a steam review reading: "I insulted myself in the middle of a dialogue tree and I ended up living under a bridge throwing poo at people. This is a great game for people who defy nonsense ideas of "gameplay" and "fun" and are  much more content with reading approximately six full length novels."
the cover of disco elysium featuring kim kitsuragi (middle-aged dark haired asian guy with round glasses and a cool orange jacket) and harry du bois (middle-aged brown haired white guy with weird facial hair and a green jacket), with text overlayed reading "Detectives be like "He's my partner" (eyebrow raised emoji) ooookay (three rainbow flag emojis)
kim kitsuragi (a middle aged asian man with black hair and a pencil moustache, wearing round glasses and an orange jacket) renditioned as a mii character, with text above reading "SOME OF Y'ALL BE LIKE HE'S MY WORLD AND THIS IS HIM"
text from disco elysium, reading: YOU - "Dios mío! (Draw a cross.) A LIBERAL!"
a reddit comment reading "Disco elysium killed my libido after the first walkthrough so please be careful"

abusing tumblr image limits to put together my emergency disco propaganda kit. for future reference or something

2 months ago
Big Jacket, Big Heart

Big jacket, big heart

1 month ago
Overheating

Overheating


Tags
4 months ago
The Sillies :33

the sillies :33

more of a test run than anything.. i have an inability to use anything other than grayish pastels and thankfully it worked out this time


Tags
1 month ago
Torture

Torture

Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • thriveonanonymity
    thriveonanonymity reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • thriveonanonymity
    thriveonanonymity liked this · 1 month ago
  • anatolia-lacrimosa
    anatolia-lacrimosa liked this · 1 month ago
  • moonlight-arcanist
    moonlight-arcanist reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • hagsalad
    hagsalad reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • moonlight-arcanist
    moonlight-arcanist liked this · 1 month ago
  • hagsalad
    hagsalad liked this · 1 month ago
  • potatobitches
    potatobitches reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • potatobitches
    potatobitches liked this · 1 month ago
  • babbygirlsposts
    babbygirlsposts liked this · 1 month ago
  • thedankestone
    thedankestone reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • thedankestone
    thedankestone liked this · 1 month ago
  • m2pixie
    m2pixie liked this · 1 month ago
  • howie-blitzer
    howie-blitzer liked this · 1 month ago
  • harper-sherman
    harper-sherman liked this · 1 month ago
  • cashmerekush222
    cashmerekush222 liked this · 1 month ago
  • switchoffthestars
    switchoffthestars liked this · 1 month ago
  • daughterofhecata
    daughterofhecata reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • blablalizeee
    blablalizeee reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • starlingelliot
    starlingelliot liked this · 1 month ago
  • grape-jucie-dog
    grape-jucie-dog liked this · 1 month ago
  • tj-2oo7
    tj-2oo7 liked this · 1 month ago
  • djierie
    djierie reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • dantsem
    dantsem reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • dantsem
    dantsem liked this · 1 month ago
  • sparklevqueen
    sparklevqueen reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • ihavetogetoffthisplanet
    ihavetogetoffthisplanet liked this · 1 month ago
  • sparklevqueen
    sparklevqueen liked this · 1 month ago
  • whatever-strikes-my-fancy
    whatever-strikes-my-fancy liked this · 1 month ago
  • sweetskeleton
    sweetskeleton reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • sweetskeleton
    sweetskeleton liked this · 1 month ago
  • mage-of-the-small
    mage-of-the-small reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • thesweetpianowritingdownmylife
    thesweetpianowritingdownmylife reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • girlfriendsofthegalaxy
    girlfriendsofthegalaxy liked this · 1 month ago
  • blysse-and-blunder
    blysse-and-blunder reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • theangrypipetter
    theangrypipetter reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • theangrypipetter
    theangrypipetter liked this · 1 month ago
  • hastyhobbit
    hastyhobbit liked this · 1 month ago
  • sexpalamedes
    sexpalamedes reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • cilil
    cilil reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • miffyghost
    miffyghost liked this · 1 month ago
  • ridiculus-mus
    ridiculus-mus liked this · 1 month ago
  • alyrarkhon
    alyrarkhon reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • un-de4d
    un-de4d liked this · 1 month ago
  • camille-lachenille
    camille-lachenille reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • tequila3
    tequila3 liked this · 1 month ago
  • clenchybattlebuns
    clenchybattlebuns liked this · 1 month ago
  • foxyb0xes
    foxyb0xes liked this · 1 month ago
  • tachyradio
    tachyradio reblogged this · 1 month ago
runinindex - ipad kid.
ipad kid.

= index | it / they / any!! undocumented internet existence found ??!

57 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags